Last Jedi's out! I don't care what people say, because I loved it. So, apparently, I'm going to do what everyone else is doing. Enjoy his random little one-shot I wrote (yeah, I know, I'm running late, but whatever).
The first time it happened, he lunged, saber ignited, eyes blazing with fury. The second time, he pressed his blade against his own wrist, vanishing and leaving her with bolts of pain up and down her arm. The third time, he was calm enough to talk.
Rey sat in her room, eyes closed, mind reaching out to the Force, to the humming of the Falcon; and the lifeforce of each and every Resistance fighter, from Finn's muted presence to Leia's powerful glow. She sensed the life aboard the tiny ship; the death that haunted them. She saw her own Light and the Dark she'd come to accept…and something else. Her eyes snapped open as her world muted, becoming indistinct as the Force brought his presence. Rey shot to her feet, backing away from him, but Ben didn't follow.
"Are you controlling this now?" Rey demanded.
"No." He snapped. He was a maelstrom of emotions-fury and hate and bitter loneliness, hurt, betrayal, utter desolation. Rey shielded herself from the storm, but even the brief moment of exposure seared her with molten fire, leaving her breathe heavy, ragged around the edges.
Kylo Ren looked as he had the last time they met. He had the same messy, raven hair, the same long, pale face marred with the scar down his cheek. Only his eyes were subtly different. They were fractured like jagged shards of obsidian, cold and harsh, as they had been before. Now, they were deeper, a little closer to the edge…a little closer to madness.
Rey wasn't sure what to do. Part of her wanted to attack, to ignite her saber and end this monster's life once and for all. The other reminded her of that sickening moment: The hall ravaged, burning, burning, burning, shards and splinters, fury, hate, the Dark as she raised the fiery sword above his chest, ready to strike him down…
She shuddered at the memory. She tried to push it away, but it hung in her mind persistently, clinging like mildew. Taking a deep breathe, she tried to find her Light, to balance herself in a sea threaded with darkness…balance.
"Why didn't you come with me?" She asked softly.
He scoffed. "They may pretend to care, may pretend to be your friend, but they'll always leave in the end." Like you, his mind went on. Rey felt shards of ice and stone scraping against her heart-an echo of his pain, dull stone knives compared to ever-sharp crystal blades. She felt a pang of guilt at the thought. She'd left him like her parents had left her. She'd hurt him as much as everyone had hurt him-and more. She felt pity for him, the same compassion that had led her to the throne room. And part of her detested it… before realized that much of the disgust emanated from Ben.
"I don't need your pity." He snapped.
Rey was tempted to retort that he did, but restrained herself. Instead, she said, "People still love you, Ben. Your parents, your uncle…they want you to come home."
He cast his eyes down. He seemed to be replaying a memory-one that was surprisingly full of love and tentative hope, but also laced with bitterness and loneliness and mistrust. Rey sensed that he already knew of Leia's love-perhaps it had something to do with the scene he was currently wrestling with-but wasn't sure he could accept that love and trust his mother really did wanted him to come back.
Rey couldn't understand Ben sometimes. How could he reject his parents like that? She had yearned for someone who would care for her-someone who could make the loneliness go away, someone who would make her feel loved, who would make her feel like she belonged. How could he do such a thing? Because he felt unloved, a part of her pointed out. Rey knew that. She had sensed the abandonment many times. But still…why?
They fell into silence. Rey sat. Ben stood. She tried to concentrate on her room. Leia had insisted she had a room all to herself, but she usually shared it with several other people. It was situated at the back of the Falcon, near the engines and machines, and the steady humming helped her fall asleep on those long, restless nights plagued with dreams. It was about the size of her former home in the Hellhound II, enclosed with drab walls and holding nothing but a bunk and a storage closet, which held nothing but her meager possessions-including the broken halves of her lightsaber. Rey fixed her eyes on the wall. It might of been white once, but now it was stained yellow from age. It was plain and unremarkable, which was why her attention always found her way back to Ben. His was hard to ignore. The Dark hung around him like heavy smoke, sparking against her Light with that tension that always set her on edge; a borderline that had melted away only twice. His presence in the Force was powerful and impossible to miss, even more so than Leia's or Rey's because of the constant way his Light and Dark warred. She brushed his mind lightly and he recoiled, snapping himself shut. She'd expected that reaction. Rey brought her legs up and closed her eyes, seeking the tranquility that had washed her before Ben's arrival. She was restless many nights, as her sleep was plagued with dreams that bound her to see the past again. Sometimes, she didn't even try. She merely sat the entire night, trying to find her balance again; the first few days had passed with virtually no sleep before she passed out from sheer exhaustion. It had already been hard to find peace. Now Ben was throwing her off with his chaos. She took a deep breathe. Balance. Light, Dark, life, death, love, hate, peace, turmoil. And the Force flowing through it all. Balance. Perfect unity between Light and Dark. The outstretched hand, the offer, the take. Fingertips brush, borders melt-unity. Balance. And she saw everything unshielded from her sight-the rebels aboard the Falcon, Finn, Leia, Poe, and Rose, even the droids. Peace in the Light, the whispers of the Dark. Ben's mind was sealed off.
Why did the Force bring them together again? She wondered. Why was here? She was sure she had ended it, but now… here he was again. Concentrate. And she tried. Slowly, everything around her faded, until it was just her, and the Force. Her and the Force.
A knock at the door. Rey's eyes snapped open. She looked towards Ben, who was fixate on entrance. Neither of them moved.
Another knock.
Rey got up and reached for the door, looking back uncertainly, but Ben was gone. She shoved open the door and was met with Finn. She forced a smile. "Hey. Come in."
He obliged, stepping through the doorway and sitting down in her bunk. Rey sat next to her friend. "What brings you here?" She asked.
Finn's brows creased with worry. "Are you OK?"
Rey blinked. She hated lying to her best (and first) friend, knew friends shouldn't be lying and keeping secrets, but she knew he wouldn't take Ben well. "I'm alright. I was just thinking."
About whether or not it will happen again. About whether she could keep her conversations secret. About Ben's future.
They were connected again, for better or for worse. And Rey was determined to do something.
So what do think? Good? Bad? Please review, because constructive criticism is welcome!
If you enjoyed this, please let me know, and I'll add further chapters. There will be minor Reylo at the very least, I promise.