A/N: Hi everyone, here I come with another story. I've got the inspiration for this story from none other than our dear sensei Hajime Isayama. When he recently held an A&Q session at Oyama, he mentioned the circumstances of Erwin's burial and there I was struck with an idea for a story, so thank you Isayama for sharing ^-^
Anyway, I've wrote this story based on my vision of this grievous event. Although I tried my best to follow the bits of info he discovered to us there are the parts in this story that I've completely made up. I guess you'll be the judge of how'd it turn out, but of course since this is a LeviHan fic it's understandable that there are insinuations for this paring :-)
Since I'm now chattering without much sense, I'm gonna stop talking now, and well as usually, I hope you like this story if by any chance you do I would appreciate a review or a favorite.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All rights belong to Hajime isayama.
Enjoy the story!
Today was the day of Erwin's funeral. It was a cold, autumn day, the morning just dawned and it was breezy.
Hanji just got out of the shower and started dressing for the event so she wouldn't be late. Her movements seemed methodical, taking pants first from the pile of clothes, then the shirt that needed a little more vested effort with tucking it into the pants, however Hanji managed to do it just fine. With that out of the way, Hanji put on her boots and threw on her long cozy coat.
Moving to her dresser, she sat down on the cold wooden stool, taking a couple of longer strands into one hand, she wrapped them around the rest of her ponytail and tied it up firmly.
Lifting up her head steadily, she met her own reflection in the mirror. The expression on her face appeared distant but sorrowful. Hanji's hand moved up to her face, touching the scar that was now a part of her. She wasn't really used to it yet, but she was getting there.
Her still fingers traced over the shut eyelid, feeling under her fingertips a scar engraved into soft skin.
Quickly regaining her composure, she stretched her hand toward the eyepatch laying down on the smooth surface of the dresser.
Picking it up in her hands, she stretched a rubber on said item and pulled it over her head. It took her a couple of moments to place it right and make sure it didn't pinch anywhere. When she made sure that was alright, she was ready for this grievous day.
Hanji heard a knock on the door, however, before granting permission to enter, the door was already ajar.
Hanji turned her eye toward the door, still looking at the mirror. A familiar head popped behind the doors and without asking stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.
Levi stood in her room with slumped shoulders and a weary posture. Their eyes met for a brief moment and a silent understanding fell over them.
It was a hard day for both of them. Levi just came back from his trip to Shiganshina, recovering Erwin's body and in a few hours the funeral for their beloved commander and friend will be held.
Hanji was aware that this task that Levi got wasn't easy for him even though he didn't show any signs of discomfort. Besides, Levi wasn't the kind of person to show any kind of emotion - not even remorse.
She let out a heavy sigh asking him: "So, it's done…" her voice worn out as well as her face.
Levi simply nodded, moving closer to the spot where she sat, he glanced at her just for a short moment: "We should probably go down there soon… you're ready?" his eyes quickly moving over her figure, taking notice of what she was wearing.
Hanji nodded, swallowing heavily, she stood up, and Levi offered her a hand, which she accepted.
Moving very slowly, they both felt like they were going to their own funerals. Both hesitant to go down and attend this event because in some way for them it meant truly admitting that Erwin was dead, that he was gone and never coming back.
In spite of this, with each other's support, they will overcome this obstacle.
Bearing in mind, that Erwin wasn't a man tied to a specific place, the soldiers of the Survey Corps didn't give too much thought to his burial place.
Instead, they decided to choose a random spot within the perimeter of the headquarters. Thus, they agreed on a spot by a nearby creek. It was a nice and peaceful place fit for someone's grave.
Needless to say, soldiers from all of divisions came to pay their respect and bid farewell to the commander Erwin Smith.
The Survey Corps division stood on the right side of the casket, in the salute position. With queen Historia Reiss in the front together with new commander Hanji Zoe and Captain Levi by her side. The rest of the soldiers from the Survey Corps stood behind them.
The priest said a few words about the deceased and prayed for his soul to find its way to heaven's gate.
Then he asked of Hanji as the new commander to say a few words. Hanji thought she was prepared for this, she was aware of this custom and she was well aware of her role, but when the priest asked her to do it, she froze and all the words she wanted to say disappeared from her mind.
Everybody waited for her to start and she just stood there with a blank gaze. She struggled to think of anything to say, she started panicking.
Unexpectedly, a rough but reassuring hand embraced hers, Hanji twitched as if waking from a slumber. She swiftly glanced down to her hand to reassure herself it wasn't a fraction of her imagination.
Much to her surprise, the hand was really there, squeezing hers hard, attempting to give her courage.
Hanji followed the hand up with her eye until she met Levi's steely grey eyes. Upon realizing it was his hand that held hers, Hanji was struck with shock for a moment, but then when she noticed how well it fit into hers and how right it felt holding hands in front of everyone, Hanji opened her mouth feeling ready to speak.
She began, her voice raspy: "Erwin Smith was a man who dedicated his whole life to saving humanity. Never left his resolve, he searched for truth his entire life. He was to all of us a mentor, a comrade, a friend… and a commander. He used to tell us before our fights: Dedicate your hearts. I hope you've find your peace Erwin. Let us now dedicate our hearts in his name."
Gradually, person after person left the burial place, and the funeral was over.
The soldiers of the Survey Corps, were about to leave, so before they did, each one of them patted Hanji's shoulder and saluted to her. While Hanji was grateful for this shown respect, all she wanted was to be left alone at the grave just for a couple of minutes.
Finally, when she made sure she was alone, Hanji lifted all of her barriers and shown the real state she was in. A state she was left after her dear friend died that she'd never show to others.
A painful cry escaped her mouth and suddenly as if all the strength left her body completely, she fell down on the ground before Erwin's grave. Tears ran down her face, unstoppable at this point, sobbing uncontrollably, she continued to cry.
Levi was about to leave when he heard an inarticulate sound. He turned around and saw Hanji nearly in ruins, he's first thought was I have to get her out of here!
Returning to her side, he stood patiently, however, seeing that there was no end to this, Levi had to act.
Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze.
Hanji looked up at the figure standing over her, her face red from crying, she was looking at Levi's weary eyes that reflected her own pain. Since he didn't speak she turned to the grave again.
Levi decided to give her another minute, seeing as they were the only ones there.
Hanji covered the hand that had been placed on her shoulder, she spoke, her voice a whisper: "I'll be okay, I'll be okay…" she kept repeating.
Levi nodded, responding to her: "I know, I know you will…"
However, Hanji kept repeating the words and then she said: "I'll be okay, Erwin…" then she stood up and gazing at Levi she asked: "Where do we go from here?"
Levi let out a heavy sigh: "Today was for saying goodbye… and the rest of our lives are for moving on…" he pressed his lips together.
Hanji nodded offering a small smile just on corners of her lips but somehow those words disappointed her. She said with determined voice: "I want revenge…" her hand balled in a firm fist.
Levi nodded back, offering her his hand again, they walked away from Erwin's grave together, neither of them knowing when they will be capable to come back and face Erwin's resting place again.
A/N: In this fic, I was focused on Hanji's feelings and the impact that Erwin's death had left on her, because I truly believe that she was devastated since I'm confident they were a really good friends for the most part, but also comrades.
Anyway, I hope I succeeded in doing so. I really hope you like this story and if that's the case I'd appreciate a review or a favorite. Thank you all for reading!
One more thing before I sign out, I just wanted to express my gratitude to all of you who supported my stories and therefore me as an author. The words can't even begin to describe the happiness I feel when I read a review that someone left on my story ^-^ it literally made my day a few times, so thank you.