I swear to God, i've been wanting to do this for a million years! Yes, Ukraine tells the younger nations stories. No, these are not you're shitty Disney versions of the stories, these are the uncencored real versions that are awesome and hardcore and not shitty. The only story that will not be Hetalialized is cinderella because i just hate that fairy tale with a burning passion. :3 Vocaloid songs will also be used because Daughter of Evil really shoud be a fairy tale. Alice in Wonderland will also be Hetalialized, but it will not be included here, that story will be seperated. It will be it's own fic that i will write after im done with this. :D If you would like to request a story, you can but only at the ocasion that I cannot think of a farytale and/or story. There will be many, MANY, pairings. Even ones I don't like, like PruHun, USUK, FrUk or Spamino...but i will restrain the use of those disliked pairings of mine. Sorreh but I prefer Iggy/Sey, BelAmerica, Spain/Belgium & Austria/Hungary. Whatever, that does not matter at the moment because i will also limit my use of romantic stories. Chances are that the only romantic fairy tales & other stories i will include are Rapunzel, Romeo & Juliet, and The Little Mermaid, wich is my favorite fairy tale even though i hate the ocean and the beach. I will save little Mermaid for the final chapter. That is just so Ironic that I hate the ocean but love the little mermaid. anything that's italizized is not part of the actual farytale. xD So sit down, relax, eat some cookies and enjoy big Sis Ukraine's stories! :D
story: Hansel & Gretel
main Countries: Prussia(Hansel) & Germany(Gretel?)
Pairings: None
Warnings: i might make it less like the actual story and a little more like the game, with Gretel being the smarter more able bodied younger sibling, and Hansel being more of an idiot who will eat anything. the game is pretty bloody and a lot more interesting than the story. gives it more edge, and sence these are the Germanic brothers, they need that violent edge or they will be boring. But the story will still have a bit of the original feel. of course it will be different, because it just will. it will not be identical to the game, it will only have the same feel to it. The author(Me) does not own The hansel & Gretel game or the original story.
It was a sunny day in Kiev. Ukraine, AKA Yekaterina "Katyusha" Briganskaya, was getting eggs from her beloved chickens that she cared for so much. She heard a few people calling her name, so she exited the hen house and saw Estonia, Switzerland, England, and their younger siblings, Sealand, Liechtenstien, and Latvia.
"Ukraine, they are interrupting a very important meeting, so we need you to watch them until the meeting is over." England declared. Ukraine nodded as she took the younger nations and lead them to her house.
Ukraine sat on a chair and looked at the kids.
"So...umm...what would you like to do?" She asked okwardly.
"BECOME A COUNTRY!"
"Play with my Big Bruder."
"Booooobs..." Latvia said quietly. Lucky for him, no on heard him. Everyone looked at him because they all thought they heard something. "I said Moooooooo." The others simply raised an eyebrow at his excuse for fantasising about Ukraine's chest. Like most males, he loved it when she hugged him. Even Latvia can have a bit of a dirty mind.
"Umm, how about I read you all a story?" Ukraine asked sweetly.
"I like stories." Liechtenstien pointed out.
"Liech, stories are boring! Right Latvia?" Sealand yelled out. Liechtenstien pouted a bit as the younger Kirkland looked at the other male nation in the room.
"But, I wanna hear a story too."
"Oh, fine...but it better not be like any of the boring stories that jerk used to tell me." Sealand said angrily. Ukraine got up and walked to a nearby shelf and grabbed the thickest and oldest looking book. She sat back down on the chair and flipped a few pages, trying to find a book that was appropreate for the kids, but at the same time, more mature, sence they were older. Their human age was in the range of early teen, 12 to 15, so Ukraine did not want them to be easily bored with things like nursery rhymes.
"Miss Ukraine, why is that book so thick?" Liechtenstien asked sweetly.
"These are stories other nations have told me, I thought it would be nice to keep them all in a big book. I used to read these to little brother Russia and little sister Belarus." Latvia whimpered a little when Ukraine mentioned Russia and Belarus. "Ah, here's a good one. Mr Germany told me this one in the year 1492. I'm pretty sure this story was from before then.
"Well, if it's that old, then I hope it's good!" Sealand said exitedly. Ukraine then looked down at the book and started reading.
A long time ago, in the vast green hills of a land called Germany, there lived a family who was very poor and barely had anything to eat. There were two children in that family whose names where Gilbert and Ludwig. They lived with their Vati and Stieffmutter.
"Miss Ukraine, what does that mean? Vati and Stieffmutter?" Sealand asked.
"It means Daddy and Stepmother!" Liechtenstien said cheerfully. She was a german speaking country, so she was happy that she could understand and translate any german words in the story.
"Oh...why did you write it in german?" The micro-nation asked.
"Well, that's how Mr. Germany told it." Ukraine explained.
"Oh, you can continue."
The Stieffmutter highly disliked the children, they always had the Vati's undying love and attention. He loved his sons very much and would always try to make them happy. He was a kind man who was cairing and giving. Unlike him, the Stieffmutter was a selfish, evil woman who wanted everything her way.
One night the Steffmutter looked at the food and noticed how little there was.
"Husband, we need to get rid of the children." She siad in a demanding tone.
"But, why?"
"Because if they stay, we will all die. Don't you see that we do not have enough money or food to keep all four of us alive?"
"But, I love them. I cannot just get rid of them like an old pair of underwear."
"Listen Husband, this is what we will do. We will take them to the deepest, darkest, most dangerous part of the forest und leave them there. Then we will come back und live because we do not have any of those extra mouths to feed." She declared proudly.
"So, you want hem to die out there all alone?"
"Yes! It is a good thing you understood so quickly." She smiled a wicked smile.
"No, I do not like it. This is what we we will do! We will leave them in a nice meadow with little bunnies und deer und pretty birds und things. Somewhere where it is not dangerous und their safety is guarenteed."
"I don't like it. THEY MUST DIE!"
"NO, THEY MUST LIVE!" The two adults continued their argument for a while until the Stieffmutter began horribly abusing the poor man.
Meanwhile, in the next room, Ludwig had his ear pressed against the wall the whole time. The adults thought both of the children where asleep, but only the youngest one stayed awake.
"Bruder, Bruder wake up!" Ludwig semi-yelled semi-whipered at his older brother. Gilbert was fast asleep and snoring loudly, so Ludwig did what he could. He got his trusty slingshot, picked up a pebble off the floor, aimed at his elder brother, and fired. Even though his cheek was bruised, he would still not wake up. Ludwig then looked at a old moldy sandwich in the corner of the room. The blonde boy immediatley picked it up and stuffed it in his brother's mouth. The silver haired older brother immediatley woke up and chewed the sandwich. He smiled as he climbed off his bunk.
"Good morning Bruder!" Gilbert said cheerfully.
"Bruder, it's not morning and I have something important to tell you." Ludwig looked at his elder brother with a serious stare that made Gilbert's smile fade away.
"Stieffmutter wants to get rid of us."
"B-but...Vati won't allow it...will he?"
"I'm not sure Bruder...i'm not sure." Gilbert whimpered slightly.
"The Awesome Me will save us!" Gilbert declared as he got some paper and pens from under the beds. "I will draw an escape plan!" He then started drawing little yellow birds and other things.
"Miss Ukraine, This Gilbert is really starting to sound a lot like Mr. Prussia." Latvia said quietly. "I'm starting to think Ludwig is Mr. Germany and Gilbert is Mr. Prussia."
"I don't think this is them. Mr. Germany's a country and Mr. Prussia used to be one. If Gilbert really was Mr. Prussia and Ludwig really was Mr. Germany, then woulden't Gilbert have called Ludwig 'West'?" Liechtenstien pointed out matter-of-factly.
"Yes, I do beleve that would be true." Ukraine staited. "I've never noticed that!"
"CAN WE PLEASE JUST STOP THE INTERRUPTIONS AND CONTINUE THE STORY?" Sealand yelled out. Ukraine then looked back at the book and began reading once more.
Ludwig looked out the window and noticed many pebbles that reflected the moonlight. He then pulled out a few of the wooden boards that made up the wall and made a hole small enough for him to crawl through. After he exited the house, he stuffed as many of the white rocks as he could before the adults could notice. In about two minutes he re-entered the house and moved a toy chest in front of the hole.
"Done! Bruder, this is my escape plan!" Gilbert then showed his younger sibling a horribly drawn picture of Ludwig, their Vati, their evil Stieffmutter, and himself.
"So, you are going to get a bunch of baby chickens to attack Stieffmutter?"
"No! What makes you think that?"
"Well, I can't really tell if that yellow blob is my hair, Vati's hair, or chickens." Ludwig pointed to a huge yellow thing above their Stieffmutter.
"There not chickens, there Gilbirds!" Gilbert prosted. ludwig simply facepalmed as he crawled into his bunk. He was tired and he knew he needed to rest if his plan was going to work.
"UKRAINE, YOUR BOOBS NOW BELONG TO ME, DA-ZE!" The room then went deadly silent ast the children looked at Ukraine and a certan breast obsesed asian country death gripping her massive landmass. Ukraine whimpered as tears started to form in her eyes.
"Mr. Korea, let her go! She's gonna cry!" Liechtenstien cried out. The younger male nations then nodded in unison and pleaded for Korea to let go.
"No, there so soft and squshy! I WILL NEVER LET GO, DA-ZE!" Korea really was enjoying that. How he got into Ukraine's house and out of the world meeting, the world will never know. Korea then took a good look at Liechtenstien and smiled. "Liech, I NOW CLAIM YOUR BOOBS TOO, DA-ZE!" He sudenly let go of Ukraine's enourmous knockers and latched ont to Liechtenstien's non-existing ones. Poor Liechtenstien then yelped in pain and the two other male nations ghasped.
Latvia then got up and imedeatly grabbed Korea's curl and draged him into the kitchen.
"Miss Ukraine, I feel molested." Liechtenstien said softly. Sealand, feeling bad for them, pulled them into a group hug. Latvia then returned with a Korea whose neck was covered by a dog collar and leash, whose hands were handcuffed, and whose mouth was duct taped.
"Ravis, what did you do to him? He looks scared." Sealand said as he broke the comfort hug circle. The two female nations nodded.
"Peter, let's just say staying in Russia's house taught me a few things." He smiled evily. Korea then whimpered softly and looked at the two female nations with a sorryful looking face.
"Ok, im creeped out. Miss Ukraine, please continue the story before Latvia does something Russia-y!" Ukraine nodded and continued the story.
The next morning they were rudely awakened by an angry Stieffmutter. She yelled at them to wake up, but took about two hours waking up Gilbert sence he was a deep sleeper. Then when he was finally awake, they began the long walk to the forest.
Ludwig turned around every three or so minuttes.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" The Stieffmutter yelled at the small blonde child.
"I just saw my little kitty up on the roof und I think he wanted to say goodbye to me, Stieffmutter." The evil woman then turned around and saw nothing but the sun rising above the house.
"You idiot! That's no cat, that's just the sun!"
"Well, he must have jumped off the roof before you could see him." The rest of the trip was noting but pure silence.
When they finally reached the forest, it was almost noon and the children where tired. The two brothers sat next to a old log and fell asleep. While the two boys where asleep, the adults left.
In the middle of the night, Ludwig woke up and saw a pathway of shining rocks. He then woke up Gilbert by stuffing some grass in his mouth, and after that, they headed home.
The next morning they arrived at their home. The Stieffmutter was enraged at how they could make it back so quickly. She then closed off the hole they made. It was then all repeated, but this time Ludwig was not able to get the white stones, they were only given one slice of bread, and they were taken deeper into the forest.
"That's so mean! Who would be crazy enough to marry someone so mean?" Sealand asked. Korea let out a soft moan as he was trying to talk, but unfortunatley he could not.
"Well, I think their father just need help raising them, and she might have been nicer when he married her." Latvia explained. "By the way, what ever happened to their actual mother?" He then asked, and then it was Liechtenstien's turn to clarify.
"She could have died, or left, or got hit in the head by something and forgot who everyone was." Everyone then looked at her. Korea then whimpered once more as Ukraine started talking.
"Well, that is possible. I'll just continue the story."
Sadly, they had no stones, so Ludwig took the bead and crumpled it in his pockets. Then he threw the crumbs out, hoping that they would lead him and his brother home.
It was the exact same thing as the last time, they fell asleep, they woke up in the middle of the night to see that the adults were missing. But, this time, the boys could not find the crumb pathway.
"Bruder, I think the faries ate them!" Gilbert said exitedly. Ludwig then facepalmed.
"No, It was birds. Bruder, let's look for home." The boys then started walking. By the time the sun started rising, they were tired and litterally about to fall.
"Bruder, My leg's...there hurting. Carry me." Ludwig said sadly.
"Sorry Bruder, I can't. My legs are hurting too." The two brothers looked at eachother and then sat next to a log. In about two munnutes they were asleep again.
In about 12 minuttes they woke up and saw a beautiful white bird. They felt energized, so the two brothers decided to follow the bird.
"Mien Gott..." Gilbert said as the two boys stopped in front of a beautiful house made of the most delicious looking sweets. The boy's childish instinct kicked in and they stated eating the house.
"Luckies! I wanna eat a candy house!" Sealand complained. Everyone stayed silent for about 14 seconds and then Ukraine went back to the story.
A faint voice was heard from inside the house as the two brothers started eating off the chocolate door.
"Oh, Who is eating my house?" A voice that startled young Gilbert said.
"Umm...Shinatty...the...umm...cat?" Gilbert responded nervously. The two boys then walked away from the door as it opened slowly. A little old lady appeared behind that door. She allowed the two boys in and she also fed them. She was even nice enough to give them a place to sleep when night came.
The next morining, she was not as nice.
"Wake up you dirty worthless filth!" She yelled at the children. Ludwig woke up imediatley but Gilbert did not. The old woman the grabbed the older child by his silver hair and threw him into a cage. The inpact of his head hitting the metal was surprisingly enough to wake him up.
"You, younger kid, feed him until he get's fat!" She then grabbed Ludwig by his golden hair and threw him into the kitchen.
"That old lady's as mean as the stepmother!" Latvia cried out. Ukraine then started reading once more.
Ludwig stayed up day and night making Gilbert food. He never got any rest and he bearly got to eat.
On the 15th day of their capture, the old lady, or how the two boys liked to call her, The Witch, decided to eat poor innocent Gilbert.
"Ludwig, check to see if this oven door is big enough for your bruder to fit in." She demanded. Ludwig imediatley realized what she wanted to do, and so he decided to trick her.
"I see no way that I can fit through that door." He said. The old witch then pushed the young child out of the way and poked her head inside of the oven.
"It's so easy to get in here." She said before Ludwig pushed her into the huge burning oven and closed the door.
"Bruder! You killed her! Now get me out of this cage!" Ludwig imediatley let Gilbert out of the huge cage. Ludwig, was not as fat as the wich hoped he would be. During those 15 days, Gilbert only gained about 45 pounds. Sudently, Gilbert looked behind him and was amazed by something. Ludwig then turned around to see a medium sized pile of treasure that he had somehow not noticed.
The two boys grabbed a bag each and took as much treasure as they both could.
"MFFMMMMMMMMFMMM" Korea mumbled loudly. Liechtenstien ripped the duct tae off to let the older nation speak. "Sweeeeet. The killed that old lady thing. You can continue now!" Ukraine then began reading the last bits of story that were left.
The two boys ran for hours and hours until they finally reached home. They were so happy to see their Vati that they nearly cried...well, Gilbert did. With the treasure that the two boys brought, they were able to feed themselves and fix the house.
The End.
"Wait...what happened to the Bitchy StepMother? Latvia said. He did not like cursing, but that was the only word to describe her.
"Well...It says here that she went missing around the time that Gilbert & Ludwig started looking for their house. She must have died or something." Ukraine explained. Korea then said something.
"Maybie she was the witch." He stated. Everyone else then got lost into deep deep thought. It was defenetly something to think about.
I'VE NEVER WRITTEN SUCH A LONG CHAPTER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! I feel that I have accomplished something! :D
BTW if your wondering who their Vati is, It's Germania. :D
Whatever, if you have reached this part, please leave a revew with a story sugestion because i can't come up with one right now. Lol, i'll pick the one that sounds best at the moment.
NO CINDERELLA! :O Me no like teh Cinderella. No Little mermaid or Alice & wonderland, I haz plans for those.
Thank you for reading & please revew! 3