NINJAS IN SPACE!

NINJAS!

Shepard stood by Joker as they stared down the Collectors ship.

"Time to show them our new teeth. Fire the main gun!"

A voice popped up over the comm, "Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some-"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Shepard scowled. "Great, now what do we do?

"Chill, guys. I got this."

A camera feed from the hull of the ship popped up showing Naruto standing on the Normandy Hull. In space. Breathing.

"Uh, Naruto? How are you alive?"

"I can breathe in space because ninja stuff!"

"That doesn't explain-"

"I'm a ninja!" He roared.

"Commander, the Collector ship is firing!"

"Evasive maneuvers!"

"Too late!" Joker cried.

"Not today!" Naruto shouted, gripping the ship and pulling it out of the motherfucking way! "Hoooooryaaaaa!"

The beam missed.

"What the fuck?!" Shepard exclaimed.

"Time to pay you back, a thousand-no, a million times over!" Naruto shouted, forming a giant rasenshuriken in his right hand. "Ninja art: everything dies no ju- I mean, Rasenshuriken!"

The giant shuriken of wind chakra traveled through space at rapid speeds, slicing the Collector's ship in two. But it didn't stop there. It went straight towards the Collector base, and on a flash of light the base was no more.

But then the shrunken came back, carrying with it all of the stolen crew who found themselves able to breathe in space because ninja stuff! They were safely deposited in the cargo hold.

"And I saaaaaaaved the daaaaaaay."

Shepard stared. "Suddenly I feel like myself and everyone else is completely useless..."

Suddenly all the Normandy women were on deck.

"He's sooooo coooool!" Kasumi squealed.

"I want him to pop my induction port!" Tali said without shame.

"The code would force me to kill myself if I did not throw myself at such a manly Marty Stu." Samara exclaimed.

"F #%$& $%*!? #& %#$!" Jack blushed.

"Sorry Shepard, but you're nowhere near as badass as Naruto ipwnyouall Uzumaki." Miranda sighed.

Now the men arrived.

"I shall use all my credits to build him a shrine." Zaeed said in awe.

"He cured my disease. With his thoughts." Thane muttered.

"He turned me gay." Jacob said.

"He helped me finally finish my calibrations...with his mind!"

"I shall join his clan, the most badass in the galaxy! Uzumaki Grunt!"

"I shall write, and star in a musical written in his honor!" Mordin wept tears of joy.

Legion arrived, having replaced his N7 armor patchwork repair with one of Naruto's face. "We have detected that wearing this will make us a real boy." With a poof, Legion was replaced with a small child. "It worked!"

Edi turned bright pink. "So my programming does allow for erotic desires..."

Shepard stared in horror. "Joker...are we the only ones still sane?" Silence... "Joker?"

Joker turned, his SR-2 hat now showing an orange spiral on it. "You say something Commander?"

Before Shepard could scream, his omnitool flared to life, and out popped the illusion man...cosplaying as Naruto. "I have seen the light, Commander. Naruto has shown me the way. I shall dedicate all my resources to carrying out his will."

"Really?" Naruto asked, having teleported into his cabin from space because ninjas can do that. Niiiiiiiiinjaaaaaaaa Stuuuuuuuuuuuff!

"Yes, almighty one."

"He's so awesome..." The entire crew squealed.

Yes, even Grunt.

Especially Grunt.

"Very we'll...then let there be victory ramen!"

And it was so.

There was much rejoicing.

Shepard screamed.

A/N:

To all those people who wanted a story where Naruto is vastly overpowered, here you go. :D