Long Time No See
So...where did our reformed-against-his-will vampire head off to?
Enjoy.
Spike is strolling down the street disjointedly humming what is apparently two
different songs at the same time. He is obviously not happy as he is continuously
cursing under his breath. Upon reaching his destination, his mood noticeably
improves. He goes up the steps with a dash of flair and raps gently on the door.
It opens a moment later to reveal Joyce.
J:"AH! Spike!" She slams the door shut.
S:"Joyce?"
J:"Go away! You're no longer invited here! I'll call Buffy!" And more to
herself, "If I knew where she was right now."
S:"Joyce, listen. I'm not here for dinner, although I am feeling a bit hungry. I
just want to talk. Really."
J:"And why should I believe you?"
S:"Because if memory serves, I've been invited in once already and you need an
entire ritual to un-invite me. I could get in right now and you couldn't stop me."
J:"Again, why should I believe you?"
S:"Oh, bugger. Alright, listen. We can do this your way if you want. I'll stay out
here and you can stay in there, but I'm not gonna hurt you if you let me in.
Besides, I'm in a rather rotten mood because I can't get the song 'Rock Me,
Amadeus' out of my head no matter how bloody hard I try and don't quite feel
like conversing with this Christmas wreath you haven't taken down yet."
J:"What do you want to talk about?"
S:"A girl."
J:"Drusilla again?"
S:"No, Christmas wreath, not Dru. It's a different girl, my leafy friend. One
you've actually met. Are those holly berries real or are you just teasing me?"
J:"Alright. Alright." Joyce opens the door and Spike hands her the wreath but
doesn't enter. "I thought you didn't need to be invited."
S:"I don't. This is the new me. Tonight I'm practicing something called
'politeness'."
J:"Oh." She still looks skeptical.
S:"Watch." He steps completely into the foyer and turns in a full circle before
back stepping outside. "See? Now do you believe me?"
J:"I don't understand any of this, but come in. Can I get you something?"
S:"I never did get to finish my hot chocolate that last time I was here."
J:"So what's on your mind?"
S:"I've got a date tomorrow night and I've not got clue one as to what to do. I
need your help."
J:"My help?"
S:"Yeah. You were so understanding before, about Dru, and there's really no
one else I can turn to."
J:"But if Buffy finds you won't she..."
S:"That's a long story, but no, she won't. I'm not as...bad...as I used to be."
J:"Okay. So who is this girl?"
S:"Willow."
J:"Willow? Buffy's friend, Willow? She's going on a date with you?"
S:"Oh, thanks. I feel much better."
J:"No, that's not...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But it's kind of
shocking."
S:"Yeah. Imagine how I feel. Not long ago she would have been a right tasty
snack and now..."
J:"And now what?"
S:"You know, this is almost the same way I felt about Dru the first time we
spent any time together. That must be a good thing, right? I mean, Red's no
Drusilla, but she's definitely got that witchy thing going for her."
J:"But I thought Dusilla was the love of your...uh...un-life?"
S:"Oh she is. No doubt in my mind about that. Unrequited as it is, there's no
denying it for me. You still got those little marshmallows?"
J:"Sure. So Willow is what exactly?"
S:"She's very engaging. And she's got the cutest little smirk when she's proud
of herself. I just can't get enough of her. When she's around, I can almost
forget about all the..." He notices Joyce's expression as she thinks about what
he might say. "...other...things in my head. Dru had that effect on me. Of course
the things I'm not thinking about are two very different things, but still."
J:"It sounds like you're trying to replace her with Willow."
S:"Does it? Yeah, I guess it does, doesn't it? Hmm. I'm not, though. At least I
don't think I am. Am I? D'you think?"
J:"Well, it could just be that they both have very similiar qualities that you find
attractive. How long has it been since you've seen Drusilla?"
S:"Quite a while. Months. I was a bit out of head for a spell about it, too, but
I've moved on."
J:"So you're not worried about the fact that you like Willow?"
S:"Nah. Not in the slightest. I'm worried about what we're going to do
tomorrow night on our date."
J:"You mean you've never..."
S:"Oh, please. I'm over a hundred and twenty years old. I've shagged one or
two...err...people...in my day. And anyway, that not the issue here. I don't know
where to take her, or what she likes to do. And I can't bloody well ask, that'd
make me look the fool wouldn't it?"
J:"Why?"
S:"Well, I'm just supposed to know this stuff, aren't I? With Dru and Harmony,
I just knew what they liked. Or I least knew that they liked being around me
enough to go along with what I wanted to do. But now I can't say 'Hey, Red.
Let's go kill the Slayer' can I?"
Joyce looks horrified.
S:"That was a bad example, wasn't it? I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
J:"Suddenly, I'm feeling less good about having you here."
S:"Look, I'm harmless, alright? I can't do anything bad to anyone. Call Giles if
you don't believe me."
J:"Harmless? What do you mean, you can't?"
S:"I mean I can't. I've got a... I've been... Oh, the hell with it. Just call him."
Joyce picks up the phone and calls Giles.
J:"Hello, Rupert. How are you?"
S:"Rupert?"
J:"No, I'm good, too. I, ah, have an odd favor to ask. Is Spike harmless?
Uh-huh. Okay. Yes he is. Do you want to... No? Alright. Yes, thank you so much.
Good night."
S:"Rupert? Did I miss something?"
She can't look him in the eye.
S:"Yes, I believe I did. HA! So you and Mister Wizard had a go at each other
did you?"
J:"We can not talk about that if you prefer."
S:"No, I'm fine talking about it."
J:"We can not talk about it if I prefer then."
S:"Go ahead. Spoil my fun."
J:"We're talking about you, anyway. You don't know what Willow likes to do. I
say just ask. You're pretty much getting a foolproof plan that way."
S:"Yeah, okay. That does look to be the best idea, doesn't it?" He gets up to
leave. "Thanks for the cocoa. And the help."
J:"Sure. Let me know how it turns out."
S:"I will." He leaves and heads back to Giles' apartment smiling and no longer
humming.
So...where did our reformed-against-his-will vampire head off to?
Enjoy.
Spike is strolling down the street disjointedly humming what is apparently two
different songs at the same time. He is obviously not happy as he is continuously
cursing under his breath. Upon reaching his destination, his mood noticeably
improves. He goes up the steps with a dash of flair and raps gently on the door.
It opens a moment later to reveal Joyce.
J:"AH! Spike!" She slams the door shut.
S:"Joyce?"
J:"Go away! You're no longer invited here! I'll call Buffy!" And more to
herself, "If I knew where she was right now."
S:"Joyce, listen. I'm not here for dinner, although I am feeling a bit hungry. I
just want to talk. Really."
J:"And why should I believe you?"
S:"Because if memory serves, I've been invited in once already and you need an
entire ritual to un-invite me. I could get in right now and you couldn't stop me."
J:"Again, why should I believe you?"
S:"Oh, bugger. Alright, listen. We can do this your way if you want. I'll stay out
here and you can stay in there, but I'm not gonna hurt you if you let me in.
Besides, I'm in a rather rotten mood because I can't get the song 'Rock Me,
Amadeus' out of my head no matter how bloody hard I try and don't quite feel
like conversing with this Christmas wreath you haven't taken down yet."
J:"What do you want to talk about?"
S:"A girl."
J:"Drusilla again?"
S:"No, Christmas wreath, not Dru. It's a different girl, my leafy friend. One
you've actually met. Are those holly berries real or are you just teasing me?"
J:"Alright. Alright." Joyce opens the door and Spike hands her the wreath but
doesn't enter. "I thought you didn't need to be invited."
S:"I don't. This is the new me. Tonight I'm practicing something called
'politeness'."
J:"Oh." She still looks skeptical.
S:"Watch." He steps completely into the foyer and turns in a full circle before
back stepping outside. "See? Now do you believe me?"
J:"I don't understand any of this, but come in. Can I get you something?"
S:"I never did get to finish my hot chocolate that last time I was here."
J:"So what's on your mind?"
S:"I've got a date tomorrow night and I've not got clue one as to what to do. I
need your help."
J:"My help?"
S:"Yeah. You were so understanding before, about Dru, and there's really no
one else I can turn to."
J:"But if Buffy finds you won't she..."
S:"That's a long story, but no, she won't. I'm not as...bad...as I used to be."
J:"Okay. So who is this girl?"
S:"Willow."
J:"Willow? Buffy's friend, Willow? She's going on a date with you?"
S:"Oh, thanks. I feel much better."
J:"No, that's not...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But it's kind of
shocking."
S:"Yeah. Imagine how I feel. Not long ago she would have been a right tasty
snack and now..."
J:"And now what?"
S:"You know, this is almost the same way I felt about Dru the first time we
spent any time together. That must be a good thing, right? I mean, Red's no
Drusilla, but she's definitely got that witchy thing going for her."
J:"But I thought Dusilla was the love of your...uh...un-life?"
S:"Oh she is. No doubt in my mind about that. Unrequited as it is, there's no
denying it for me. You still got those little marshmallows?"
J:"Sure. So Willow is what exactly?"
S:"She's very engaging. And she's got the cutest little smirk when she's proud
of herself. I just can't get enough of her. When she's around, I can almost
forget about all the..." He notices Joyce's expression as she thinks about what
he might say. "...other...things in my head. Dru had that effect on me. Of course
the things I'm not thinking about are two very different things, but still."
J:"It sounds like you're trying to replace her with Willow."
S:"Does it? Yeah, I guess it does, doesn't it? Hmm. I'm not, though. At least I
don't think I am. Am I? D'you think?"
J:"Well, it could just be that they both have very similiar qualities that you find
attractive. How long has it been since you've seen Drusilla?"
S:"Quite a while. Months. I was a bit out of head for a spell about it, too, but
I've moved on."
J:"So you're not worried about the fact that you like Willow?"
S:"Nah. Not in the slightest. I'm worried about what we're going to do
tomorrow night on our date."
J:"You mean you've never..."
S:"Oh, please. I'm over a hundred and twenty years old. I've shagged one or
two...err...people...in my day. And anyway, that not the issue here. I don't know
where to take her, or what she likes to do. And I can't bloody well ask, that'd
make me look the fool wouldn't it?"
J:"Why?"
S:"Well, I'm just supposed to know this stuff, aren't I? With Dru and Harmony,
I just knew what they liked. Or I least knew that they liked being around me
enough to go along with what I wanted to do. But now I can't say 'Hey, Red.
Let's go kill the Slayer' can I?"
Joyce looks horrified.
S:"That was a bad example, wasn't it? I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
J:"Suddenly, I'm feeling less good about having you here."
S:"Look, I'm harmless, alright? I can't do anything bad to anyone. Call Giles if
you don't believe me."
J:"Harmless? What do you mean, you can't?"
S:"I mean I can't. I've got a... I've been... Oh, the hell with it. Just call him."
Joyce picks up the phone and calls Giles.
J:"Hello, Rupert. How are you?"
S:"Rupert?"
J:"No, I'm good, too. I, ah, have an odd favor to ask. Is Spike harmless?
Uh-huh. Okay. Yes he is. Do you want to... No? Alright. Yes, thank you so much.
Good night."
S:"Rupert? Did I miss something?"
She can't look him in the eye.
S:"Yes, I believe I did. HA! So you and Mister Wizard had a go at each other
did you?"
J:"We can not talk about that if you prefer."
S:"No, I'm fine talking about it."
J:"We can not talk about it if I prefer then."
S:"Go ahead. Spoil my fun."
J:"We're talking about you, anyway. You don't know what Willow likes to do. I
say just ask. You're pretty much getting a foolproof plan that way."
S:"Yeah, okay. That does look to be the best idea, doesn't it?" He gets up to
leave. "Thanks for the cocoa. And the help."
J:"Sure. Let me know how it turns out."
S:"I will." He leaves and heads back to Giles' apartment smiling and no longer
humming.