Disclaimer: Not my characters or world… I'm just playing with them.
Kismet
Kate couldn't get comfortable. It was one of those nights when no matter what position she tried to lay in, the scar on her chest pulled and burned. The doctors and physical therapists had warned her about this. Even months after the shooting and subsequent emergency surgery to remove the bullet, she would have times when the scar pestered her non-stop. Usually it was after a day when she'd overdone it, like she had that day. It was a rare Saturday off and she had started the day with a five mile jog followed by a two hour sparring session at the gym. Then, knowing her apartment was long overdue for a good cleaning, she spent several hours in the afternoon moving furniture out of the way so she could get to the dust bunnies that had accumulated over the past year. By the time her solitary dinner of takeout Italian rolled around, she was starting to feel the ache in her sternum. By bedtime, it had progressed to the point where she took a rare pain pill to quell the fire in her chest. It only helped a little – taking the edge off the pain so she could breathe without discomfort but not enough to let her sleep for more than a few minutes at a time.
In a state of frustration, Kate got out of bed and stumbled to her kitchen. She eyed the bottle of Jack Daniels on her kitchen counter and contemplated a nightcap. But she didn't like the woozy feeling that liquor plus pain pills caused. Kate glanced at the clock on her microwave and saw that it was just after one a.m. She sighed and her stomach gave a small rumble. Her lasagna dinner was several hours ago and her body was craving calories after all she had burned during her strenuous day. Kate opened her refrigerator door and gave the contents an obligatory glance. As expected, however, her fridge contained nothing beyond the Styrofoam palace of two and three day old take out. She closed the fridge and looked at the clock again.
There was only one all night café that had food worth a damn, and even though it was quite out of her way, a hamburger and chocolate shake from Dargon's sounded pretty darn good. Kate smiled and went to her bedroom where she pulled on a pair of black yoga pants, a long loose t-shirt and a hoodie. She pulled her hair back in a messy pony tail and grabbed her car keys and wallet off her dresser.
At one a.m. on a Sunday morning, the drive to Dargon's took far less time than it would have during the daylight hours. She pulled into the driveway only ten minutes after leaving her apartment – definitely a record. It had once taken her 45 minutes to make that same drive in traffic. Kate parked her sedan and grabbed her wallet off the passenger seat, pausing when another spasm of pain rent across her chest. She took a shallow breath and exited her car slowly in an attempt to keep the pain in check.
Dargon's was largely abandoned at that time of night as Kate expected it to be. There were only three other tables occupied – one holding a very obese 'rent a cop' scarfing down a chili-cheese burger with obscene gusto, one with a nurse and a doctor who Kate assumed had just gotten off shift at the nearby hospital, and the third with…
"Castle?" Kate said in surprise. Castle looked up from the laptop opened on the table before him.
"Kate!" He exclaimed just as surprised. She smiled a little and walked over to his table.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, sitting down across from him.
"I should ask you the same question!" Castle said.
"Late night hankering for a cheeseburger and shake." Kate lied. "You too?"
"Not exactly." Castle replied. "Nope, I'm here because I had forgotten the ungodly decibel levels teenage girls can achieve when they are excited." Castle said. Kate looked at him in confusion.
"Alexis is having a pre-graduation slumber party before she and her friends go off to college. At this moment there are a half dozen seventeen year old girls occupying my living room eating s'mores and watching sparkly vampires galavant across my television. It became obvious pretty quickly that sleep is not something the girls were planning for this night and there are no earplugs in the world strong enough to drown out the sounds of seven squealing teenage girls." Castle concluded. Kate laughed.
"Why don't you just tell them to settle down?" Kate asked.
"And risk my status as the 'cool dad'? Never!" Castle replied. Kate laughed again and another sharp pain ripped across her chest. She gasped quietly and put an involuntary hand to her sternum.
"Kate?" Castle asked with concern. Kate forced a smile. She didn't want to worry Castle and she hated when he gave her 'the look' with those sweet, caring, puppy dog eyes that seemed to say he'd follow her to the edge of the earth and back.
"I'm fine. My scar… it's bothering me a bit tonight." Kate said simply.
"Seems like more than a bit." Castle said giving her the puppy dog eyes.
She averted her gaze and shook her head.
"I just overdid it today." She said.
"Did you take something?" Castle asked.
"Yeah… I took a pill a few hours ago. Thought I'd get something to eat before trying another one." Kate said as an older waitress who smelled of cigarette smoke approached.
Kate ordered a cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake and Castle asked for another cup of coffee and to put Kate's meal on his tab.
"You don't have to do that, Castle." Kate said. He simply waved his hand in a 'no big deal' gesture. She smiled gratefully.
"So, you working on another chapter?" Kate asked gesturing toward Castle's laptop.
"Yeah, I was going to see if I could get anything good written tonight but ideas are alluding me just as much as sleep." Castle replied. He flipped the lid closed and sat back in his chair.
"Well, who knows… maybe inspiration will strike while we eat – well, while I eat anyway." Kate said, suddenly feeling irrationally self conscious about the tremendous amount of food she had just ordered. It was silly, of course. Castle had seen her pig out lots of times. But it was usually when they were on a rushed lunch break while at work – not sitting alone together in a purely social setting at one thirty in the morning. Kate chastised herself inwardly for her silliness and shook her head a little to rid her mind of her irrationality.
"So, overall, how's it coming?" Kate asked, gesturing toward Castle's laptop.
Castle shrugged. "I'm a little discouraged to be honest." Castle replied.
"Why?" Kate asked as the waitress returned with her chocolate shake.
"Well, I have my plot, but I feel like my characters are… stuck. They've become one dimensional and I can't figure out how to get them 'moving' again." Castle said.
"Maybe you just need a catalyst." Kate said taking a sip of her shake. It tasted heavenly.
"Meaning?" Castle asked.
Kate shrugged. "Well, you're the writer, and I don't have any specific ideas, but maybe you just need to have something big happen in your book… so big that the characters are forced to re-examine themselves – figure out what's important in life." Kate replied. They caught each other's eye, and found themselves in one of those moments they often shared but never talked about – the moments when a thousand things passed between them yet not a single word was uttered. As usual, it was Kate who looked away first – always so scared of those moments and where they might lead if only she would let them.
Castle cleared his throat. "Hmm. Why detective Beckett… that's quite insightful. I may have to give you a writer's credit in this one."
Kate laughed and took another sip of shake as her meal arrived. She and Castle made small talk about work and story ideas while she ate her hamburger and fries and Castle sipped his coffee, every now and again stealing a fry off of Kate's plate. It was nearly two thirty by the time she had finished and she could feel fatigue starting to steal over her. Castle, too, was looking weary. As if on cue, he yawned.
"Past your bedtime, Castle?" Kate teased.
"Well past. But since I'm bound to have a sleepless night anyway, I may as well stay and try to get some work done." Castle said.
"You know, Castle, my sofa is a convertible and my house is definitely teenage girl free right now. Why don't you crash at my place tonight?" Kate flushed slightly pink as she finished her sentence. The idea had popped in her head so suddenly and ejaculated from her mouth before her brain even had time to consider the implications of what she was asking.
Castle looked at her in utter surprise. "Are you inviting me to… sleep over?" He asked.
Kate's heart was beating fast, but she smiled at him and rolled her eyes in a convincing attempt to look non-chalant. "Oh come on, Castle. You know I don't mean anything lascivious. You look dead on your feet and I'm offering you an alternative to listening to seven squeeling girls for the rest of the night."
Castle smiled his adorable, little boy smile.
"Well, since my mother is home with the girls – probably telling them all sorts of things about her past that she really shouldn't be – I would be delighted to take you up on that." Castle said. Kate smiled and nodded.
"Alright… let's go then." She said.
Castle paid the check at the register on the way out.
"Where's your car?" Kate asked.
"Cab." Castle replied.
Kate gestured to her car and Castle followed. Kate's hands were shaking slightly as she started the ignition, but, as Castle was texting his mother and Alexis, he didn't notice.
"What did you tell them?" Kate asked, pulling out of the driveway.
"I was crashing at a friend's and to try not to get into too much trouble." Castle replied.
"Did you tell them…um…which friend?" Kate asked tentatively.
"No. And they learned a long time ago not to ask." Castle replied casually. Kate nodded and chuckled nervously.
"How's your chest feeling?" Castle asked after a few moments of awkward silence passed.
"You know, I haven't even noticed it that much this past hour." Kate said honestly. She left out the fact that her heart was racing so fast it drowned out any pain she might be feeling. "I'll probably take another pain pill when I get home, though… just to get me through the night."
A few more minutes passed and Kate pulled into the underground parking structure of her apartment building. She and Castle exited the car and quietly walked up the four flights of stairs to her apartment.
"Well, here we are. Mi casa es su casa." Kate said, unlocking her door and letting Castle into her apartment. It was the same as he remembered – classy, refined, feminine without the frills – a reflection of Beckett herself.
Beckett threw her keys and wallet on the small table by her door and walked over to the sofa. She removed the cushions and leaned over to pull out the fold away. The angle, however, pulled her scar and she let out an audible cry of pain. Castle was at her side at once.
"Let me." He said, grabbing the handle where Kate's hand was still resting. They paused and looked at each other, their hands touching, a feeling of electricity passing between them. It was another one of those intimate moments and, as per usual, Kate broke it first.
"Uh, thanks." She said, averting her eyes and removing her hand from under Castle's. "I'll go grab some blankets."
In the hallway outside her linen closet, Kate paused and took a deep breath, her body tingling with adrenaline. This happened every time Castle touched her – brushed her hand when he gave her coffee in the morning; bumped against her in a crowded elevator – but she always dismissed it or ignored it. She just would not let herself acknowledge why his touch affected her so much… how attracted she was to him. She shook her head slightly to clear it and grabbed a set of sheets and a velour blanket from her linen closet.
Castle had just finished pulling out the trundle when Kate reappeared.
"It's not exactly a temperpedic, but it's pretty comfy." Kate said setting the blanket on the back of the sofa. She unfolded one of the sheets and began placing it on the mattress. Castle grabbed the other side of the linen and helped.
"I'm sure it will be just fine. Like you said, at least I'm not surrounded by seven squeeling teenage girls… and my mother." Castle said. Kate laughed.
A few minutes later, the bed made up, Castle kicked off his shoes and hopped on the bed. Tired, but not quite ready to bid Castle goodnight, Kate grabbed the tv remote from her coffee table and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Here, my TV is a little tricky so let me give you a tutorial on the remote." Kate said, using that as a pretext to stay close to Castle. She flipped on the television and showed Castle which input buttons to hit to turn on her surround sound and control her cable box. It was actually a very easy procedure, but Kate made a show of it in order to draw out her time with Castle.
As she was flipping around on her T.V., she came upon an episode of The Twilight Zone.
"Oh, hey! Wait… this is a great one!" Castle said, turning his attention toward the T.V.
"Oh yeah… isn't this that one where all the old people play kick the can and become young again?" Kate said, recognizing the episode from the many Twilight Zone marathons she had watched with her dad over the years.
"One of the best!" Castle said kicking off his shoes and placing his arm across the back of the sofa. Kate smiled to herself. She wondered if Castle even realized how close he was to holding her.
Kate also kicked off her shoes and sat back against the sofa enjoying the radiant heat from Castle's arm on the back of her neck. She wondered if Castle was as aware of their proximity – the intimacy inherent to being in a bed together – as she was. She chanced a sideways glance at him. If his heart was pounding the way hers was, it didn't show. He seemed to be totally engrossed in the episode on TV and totally relaxed lying in her guest bed with her by his side. Kate smiled a little, thankful that her complicated feelings for Castle weren't mirrored by him. That was one of the things she liked most about Castle – he wasn't complicated. He said what he meant and meant what he said.
Another pull of Kate's scar and she thought back to the day she was shot, to Castle lying over her protectively, confessing he loved her with tears of pain and fear in his eyes. His confession had brought her so much peace and comfort in that moment which she thought was her last. So why did it scare her so much now – now that she was alive and healthy and harboring feelings for Castle which were growing stronger everyday? Why couldn't she just bring herself to tell him how she felt, or at least admit that she knew how he felt about her? Kate took at deep breath to steady herself.
"Hey, Castle…" She started, her voice low and unsteady. Kate turned to face him… and paused. Castle was sound asleep – his head lolling against the back of the sofa, his mouth slightly ajar, slow even breaths escaping his lips. Kate smiled softly. Castle looked so young, so innocent, so endearing like this.
Kate scooted herself a little closer to Castle and tentatively reached out a hand, which she placed gently on Castle's chest. He didn't stir. Still smiling softly, Kate lowered her head onto Castle's shoulder. In his sleep, Castle lowered his arm from the back of the sofa and tucked it around Kate, pulling her closer to him. Her heart did a happy little skip in her chest as she closed her eyes and relished the feeling of Castle's arm around her, her head resting on his shoulder, her hand lying on his chest feeling the rhythm of his heart beat. She felt more relaxed than she did most nights when she crawled into bed by herself – her mind swimming with unsolved murders, bloody crime scenes and faceless killers. In Castle's arms, she thought only of how safe he made her feel, how easily she was able to laugh, how his eyes glistened with sincerity when he told her he loved her.
With these thoughts in her mind, Kate rolled her head and kissed Castle softly on his shoulder. She then took a deep, satisfied breath and drifted off into an untroubled and comfortable sleep.