A/N: I love HIMYM, bu this is the first fic I've attempted - not the first idea I've had, but the only one I've actually written down. Scratch that, there was one... but it sucked, so. Here we have my first attempt at How I Met Yor Mother fanfiction (Warning: although the show is hilarious, I suck at writing humor, so there will be none here). Enjoy, and please review! I need to know if this is good or bad.
Disclaimer: I don't own How I Met Your Mother, or the character Marshall Eriksen. Please don't sue me.
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Early morning light slanted through the windows of his and Ted's apartment, causing him to stir from his place on the couch. He slowly became aware of the pounding in his skull from all the beer he drank last night, but he was becoming used to it. It caused him more pain to be sober. His waking mind reminded him why, and he groaned inwardly.
He wasn't overly enthusiastic about getting up; not much interested him anymore. Lily had been his whole life, but apparently she was happier in San Francisco, since she never bothered to call.
Reluctantly, Marshall began to stir, squinting as his eyes adjusted. The Saturday sunshine was far too happy for his taste. In his opinion, every day without Lily should be a gloomy, cold, rainy day. That was all he ever saw anymore.
Shifting positions on the couch, he noticed a half-finished beer on the table in front of him. He didn't waste any time in sweeping it up and finishing it off, then dropping the now-empty bottle onto the cushion beside him.
The problem with mornings like this was that he had more time to think about things. Questions like, where is she now? What is she doing? Is she with someone else? ran consistently through his head, but the ones that weighed more heavily on his mind were deeper, more emotional than that.
What could I have done to show her that this is where she belonged?
True, there probably wasn't much. He had loved her, supported her, listened to her, done his best to care for her… He didn't think he'd said anything wrong, and he told her everything, so it wasn't something he kept from her. All evidence pointed to the theory that it was her with the problem instead of him, but he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had driven her away, or that somehow, all of this was his fault.
Maybe he should call her again…
No, he decided. It was just a weak moment. Ted and Robin were still in bed, asleep, so he had to be strong without them. Besides, he had already memorized the message the artificial female voice always read him, about the number not being in service: it would just depress him more to hear it again.
That was another downside. He was happy for Robin and Ted, but them being together, in such close proximity to him, made his misery unbearable. He had considered moving out, but Ted was the only one keeping him from climbing aboard the next available flight to California.
All of them were trying to help, he knew, but it wasn't working. The truth was that he didn't know how to live without Lily; he knew they were meant for each other.
We're perfect together… I guess we just aren't perfect ourselves.
He meant it when he told Ted he was a good friend, but he needed more than a friend.
He needed Lily.
He missed her so much, every day. A big part of him, he felt, was there with her in San Francisco, and he didn't know how to get it back. He could answer all of his own questions, save one.
Why wasn't I enough?
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A/N: Terrible? Legen-wait for it-dary? I need to know these things! Please review!