AN/: Hey! Alice-chan here with another one-shot! This also references some of my other one-shots, but it should still be entertaining even if you haven't read them. Enjoy!

The War of the Bug Worlds

It was happening again. Something crazy, of course. This time, it was Gajeel that had run into the guild flailing and screaming like a nutcase.

"It's happening! I knew it would! We have to gather food, water, supplies; we could live underground! Start fresh, build a new society, and survive! No, not just survive, but live."

"What are you talking about?" Levy asked peeking up from her book on the ancient history of Fiore.

"Levy, you and Lucy could teach," he blabbered pointing at the two.

"You know, I think I've heard a story like this somewhere before," Lucy mused with a small smile on her face. "H. G. Wells' 'War of the Worlds'. Sound familiar?" she giggled. "Levy, you got him to read?" she grinned excitedly.

"No, I don't think so," Levy responded a little worried. Gajeel suddenly turned to the doors.

"They're coming!" he screamed hysterically. The guild members shared one last confused look before the weirdest thing they'd ever seen happened. An abnormally large horde of butterflies swarmed into the guild, heading straight for the Iron Dragon Slayer. He ran from them, waving his arms around to swat them away. "Get 'em off! Get 'em off!"

"Running from butterflies is not manly!" Elfman shouted. That was when the group split up. Gajeel continued to scream like a little girl as they dragged him from the guild.

"Noooo!" he cried as he clawed at the floor desperately. The butterflies surrounded him and flew away. Gajeel had just been abducted by butterflies. The other half of the swarm directed its attention at Elfman.

"I take it back! Running from butterflies is definitely manly!" This time, Elfman ran and screamed like a little girl, which was very contradictory to what he was saying as he ran. The chaos continued to grow.

"Look, it's an army of ants!" someone shouted. Lucy squealed and hopped up onto the counter of the bar.

"Ew, ew, ew, EW! I hate bugs!" she pouted. That was followed by muffled yells and a thud. Macao and Wakaba were sitting at the bar as if nothing was happening... again.

"Hey, would you look at that!" Wakaba laughed. He pointed to the source of the thud. Gray was tearing spider webs away from his face.

"Damn, nature. You scary!" Gray yelled as he helped Juvia off the ground and removed all the gross spider webs from her as well.

"500 Jewel says those freaky ants took care of that bacon problem we had," Macao smirked into his mug. He pulled out the money and waved it at Wakaba.

"Oh, you're on! I bet 1,000 Jewel that those psycho butterflies took care of it. And, as a bonus, an extra 500 Jewels says those ants tried to take those two as hostages," Wakaba countered.

"Allow me to even the stakes then. Those ants are totally gonna win," Macao smirked again, pulling out another 1,000 Jewel. "So, that's a total of 1,500 Jewe- what?" he stopped mid-sentence and looked down at his legs. Reminded of that chaos going on around them, they noticed Mira stumbling from the kitchen.

"Those... damn... ants," she managed to say breathlessly before dropping to the floor. An armada of ants marched over her carrying all kinds of food.

"Looks like I'm winning so far," Macao gloated playing with the money in his hand. He was abruptly yanked from his seat, the money falling from his hand and onto the counter. He'd been distracted from the ants by his feet, but now they were dragging him away to who knew where. "Ah! Help me out!" he yelled reaching out to Wakaba. The other male blinked at him a couple of times then casually began to gather the bills scattered on the counter. "Oh, COME ON!" he shouted in irritation.

"See ya, buddy!" Wakaba waved to him, puffing on his smoke pipe and counting the money.

~(T^T~)

"Levy-san, since this place serves food, isn't having all these bugs in her a big health code violation?" Wendy asked innocently.

"This whole place is a health code violation," Carla replied sourly.

"Well, it's not a restaurant. It's a guild. I don't really think it matters," Levy answered.

"Ah, okay."

"It's still gross, though," Levy added.

(~O~O)~

Lucy had finally decided to start fighting back when Natsu finally showed up.

"Die! Die! Die!" Smack! Crunch! Squish! The hysterical blonde slammed her boot on the ground and counter over and over again. Natsu strolled over and casually burnt the rest to a crisp. Temporarily freed from the terror of the bugs, Lucy flung her arms around the Fire Dragon Slayer. "I will NEVER kick you out of my apartment ever again! Just get rid of them!" She swung her boot again to crush another ant.

"Aaaaaahh! No I have a family!"

*Attempts to scramble away* Splat!

"Awe, it sounded so cute squeaking for mercy," Natsu cooed at the tiny splatter on the counter.

The insane fight continued.

One Week Later

"No one is ever allowed to call my fear of bugs irrational ever again," Lucy huffed, crossing her arms. The guild had been tented to take care of the bug problem. Most of the guild was there for a head count. Master said something about needing to update the guild's posted mortality rates.

"Oh, believe me, I don't think we will. That was one of the most traumatizing events of my entire life. Not the worst, but definitely up there," Gray shivered.

"What was the worst?" Lucy asked.

"Sumo wrestling with Natsu. Specifically, when he jumped on me. I got his dick in my mou-"

"Eeeeww! I don't wanna hear that!" Lucy cringed and covered her ears. Thankfully, Master Makarov cleared his throat and began to address everyone.

"Alright, brats. Going over the most recent events, it seems that casualties include Mira, Elfman, Happy, Gray, Juvia, Gajeel and Macao. Gajeel and Macao were taken this time, but on the bright side, at least Juvia and Gray are back. In terms of the situation, the ants have managed to subdue over half of the butterfly armada. However, if Pest Control does their job right, they should all be dead in a couple of days and we can go back to our normal routine. Any questions?"

There were no questions, but Natsu had raised his hand and jumped around excitedly.

"Yes, Natsu?"

"Okay, just so everyone knows, Lucy told me that she'll never kick me out of her apartment again! Just a heads up to everyone!"

"Hey! Not fair! I say crazy things when I'm scared, and I was freaking terrified!"

"Doesn't matter, you still said it!" Natsu sang happily.

Lucy decided to just laugh it off. She never wanted to see another bug again, and as long as Natsu killed them for her, she didn't care where he was. She squirmed at the feeling of something tickling her cheek.

"Look, Luce! It's a centipede!"

"I hate you!"

END NOTE: XD I just love writing ridiculous situations for the guild! I'm even thinking of putting all these one-shots together to make what I want to call the Chaos Collection. Just chapter after chapter of crazy, silly situations. Let me know what you think! I would love you hear from you guys, especially since it has been FOREVER since I've written anything. I finally have the means to do it now, though. So, Happy Reading!

~Alice-chan