When a Cat Knocks Over a Crow's Nest.
Summary: And when 'happily ever after' doesn't quite work out...
Rating: T
Author's Note: Hiya people. I don't really know quite how to apologise to you all for bailing out on the 'Seven's Sins' Lust chapter a couple of weeks ago. I received a review that really got my spirits down and I've since had to remove the lyrics from all of my uploads. It shouldn't have been a big deal, really, but I felt like I'd lost my identity a little, considering that 90% of my updates had lyrics of some sort in them – I guess I thought that it was kind of my 'thing' (though not technically 'mine' because a few other people have really great songfics still up, and then there's those people I'm close to on this site who've had to take down the lyrics too – I'm just as gutted for them as I am for me). Add that to a rather upsetting family matter and two very stressful exams, and you have a not so 'Brightside' Bumblebee on your hands. So yeah, I guess this is my 'getting back into the swing of things' fic, the first chapter in what will be about twenty. 'Seven's Sins' will be updated this coming Sunday, and I guess all that's left to say is 'enjoy'.
The night had settled in quietly, its darkness chasing wayward clouds out into the vast horizon, leaving a black, blank canvas. Red, then white, then blue; the fireworks lit up the sky in a mismatched Stars and Stripes motif to the awe of the citizens below, who began whistling and applauding as they realized what was happening. Bursts of green, gold, pink, peach, and purple joined their elementary sparkles in their swansong above the ocean, harmonizing with the pale moon as it cast a gentle glow that not even the endless sea of illustrious manmade San Francisco light could drown out. As mightily as she had departed, the U.S.S. Voyager returned to Starfleet, swooping down gracefully through her excited welcome. Vice Admiral Kathryn Janeway sighed, a lazy smile playing on her lips. It had been six years since the Voyager and her crew touched down on Earth, and thirteen since they'd been catapulted unceremoniously into the Delta Quadrant. Even now, she relished watching the footage of their return home; the sheer enormity of the celebrations that had ensued still had her shaking her head with their extravagance. "Admiral, Mrs and Miss Kotay are here to see you." Her secretary, Melodie Mage, informed her.
"Send them in," Janeway replied, confused until she remembered it was time for the weekly exchanging of hands.
"Mama…" the voice of Annabelle Autumn Kotay, the daughter of Voyager's former Commander and his wife, Seven Of Nine, whined; "Want Papa!"
"I know you do, sweetie, but Papa's busy right now" Seven soothed, trying to calm her anxious three-year-old down. It was switchover day; a time that, depending on whether or not she was saying goodbye or hello to her daughter, she hated. It meant seeing him again, the man who'd captured her heart, and then refused to give it back until it was full to the brim with hope, with expectations, and with a love that she couldn't help but analyze during every spare second that she had. Maybe that was what had done it, her constant need to reaffirm, to reassure herself of, their love, their bond. Yes, perhaps it was that which had seen him leave her and their, at the time, two-year-old daughter in the middle of the night after a particularly heated and spiteful row. "Sorry," she said, casting an apologetic glance to Janeway, who was smiling affectionately at an excited, yet grumpy Belle, "Somebody decided she wanted to wear her princess dress for the fifth day in a row, so I had to wash, dry, and iron it within two hours."
"Couldn't you have just replicated another one?" Janeway laughed, walking over to where Seven was before gently taking Belle's overnight bag. "You look exhausted, Seven." she noted, lowering her voice and tone accordingly.
"I would have felt lazy to just replicate another one," Seven sighed, running her hands through her hair. It had been restyled since her Voyager days, now hanging in an, always immaculate, bob. "Besides, Chakotay got her the dress for Christmas, it would be wrong of me to let her wear something other than the original." Janeway nodded in understanding, before leading Seven over to the leather couches that were on the other side of her office. "Besides," Seven said, sharing a knowing smile with her former Captain, "Belle wouldn't take the dress off for long enough for me to count the number of layers on the petticoat." The two women shared a laugh of kinship; each knew what it was like to try and hold together a relationship, and how hard it was to deal with the bitter aftermath.
Belle growled, making energetic car noises as she pushed a toy truck around on the white carpets of Janeway's Starfleet office, leaving tiny wheel shaped stains in her wake. The Vice Admiral waved away Seven's look of apology, "I've been meaning to have this place redecorated for some time now." she commented, stretching her tired limbs to regain some of the feeling she'd lost whilst curled up asleep on the very couch she was now sitting on. "If anything, she's doing me a favour."
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind the next time she wants to bring over her chocolate melting pots," Seven remarked, wincing as her daughter fell over for the third time that day. It never got any easier… "Oops-a-daisy!" she chimed, plastering a big smile onto her face, "Up you get!" she continued, relying on her old failsafe; if she acted like nothing was wrong, Belle would believe her and also assume that all was right in the world. Happily, the young girl stood up and giggled manically before throwing herself back down onto the thick, plush carpet.
"Her head must be made of concrete," Janeway surmised, standing and walking over to her replicator, "Would you like anything Seven," she asked, before typing in the orders and carrying an apple juice over to Belle and a soda for Seven. "Don't mention it," she said, acknowledging Seven's words of thanks.
"What do you say, Annabelle?" Seven prompted, lapsing into her old habit of calling her daughter by her full name instead of 'Belle', the pet name she'd insisted everyone else call her.
"Thankoo!" Belle chirped, happy with both her apple juice and with the fact that she'd remembered what to say, something clearly evidenced in her mother's relieved smile.
"That's more than okay, Belle," Janeway said, marvelling, and not for the first time, at the child that sat happily not five feet away; she was the product of two of the most influential people aboard Voyager, and she had a surprising mix of both of them in her features. Her golden hair had undertones of cinnamon and dark brown, and the long locks curled into loose ringlets near the ends. Belle beamed at her mother and Janeway, basking in adoration with a smile to rival the former drone's, but the full lips that formed it were distinctly from Chakotay. Her eyes were a striking hazel, brown near the pupil with an explosion of turquoise throughout the iris. She was, in a word, stunning, and it would come as no surprise to Voyager's former Captain, if this girl broke more than a few hearts in her lifetime. "Chakotay's going to be late today." She told Seven, apologetic as she relayed the news she had meant to pass on at the start, "Admiral Paris is going over some new specifications for some future flights and Chakotay called about an hour ago to tell me to inform you. I completely forgot about it."
"Oh," Seven breathed, crinkling her brow in a mix of relief and, what was it… disappointment? Don't be silly, she told herself, Belle has more right to be upset with this than you.
"I think he wanted to speak to you about something," Janeway said, choosing her words carefully. "He was quite insistent that I shouldn't let you leave before he got here, but if you're busy I could tell him-"
"I would appreciate it if you did, Kathryn," Seven replied, hesitating over using Janeway's first name despite having been encouraged to do so for the past four years. "He lost any claim over my time when he left us," she murmured, lowering her voice so that Belle, who was digging in the scrap paper drawer, wouldn't hear her. "Did he say what it was about?"
"No, he just sounded very urgent. I expect he'll tell you on Tuesday what it was all about, but I honestly couldn't tell you."
"Urgent?" Seven questioned, mostly to herself. Seeing Janeway's apologetic shrug, she thought to herself that there was too much apologising going on lately. "I suppose I could stay," she relented, hating the thought of having to say sorry to him, when it was his fault things were this way. "But I have to leave before my shift in the Lab starts."
"I'm sure he'll be here before then." Janeway smiled, relieved that she wouldn't have to tell him that, yet again, his former wife did not want to see him.
"Kattin," Belle said, ambling over to where the two women sat before pulling on her honorary auntie's sleeve, "Can we pway Fwotter?" she asked, tilting her head to one side and smiling a sickly sweet smile.
"How could I say 'no' to you?" Janeway agreed, steadying Belle as she started bouncing around on the spot.
"Mama come too!" Belle insisted, reaching over to secure her mother's hand in her own. "Now Mama!" She said, asserting her orders once more with a hefty tug that had Seven wincing in pain.
"Annabelle," Seven warned, "I have told you numerous times not to pull and push at people, do you want to go into time out?"
"No," Belle snapped, snatching her hand away, "Course I don't want time out." She pointed out, as if it were something to be debated, before adding a phrase which shocked Admiral Janeway, but for Seven was now commonplace "Stupid Mama."
Seven felt an unexpected rush of tears come to the corners of her eyes. Of course, the name calling had become a daily thing, it was silly Mama this and stupid Mama that. Whereas before, when she and Chakotay were still married, Belle had been a lovely little girl, all happy and secure with her mother; now however, it seemed that no matter how hard Seven tried to make her daughter happy, nothing could make up to her the loss of her father, something Seven felt that Belle attributed solely to her. Janeway, who was reeling from the idea that something so callous could come out of someone so angelic, flinched, saddened to see the effect that Seven's own daughter had on her. "Belle," Seven whispered, turning her head in a fruitless attempt to hide her tears, "I would like for you to go away from me right now."
"Fine," Belle retorted harshly, before stomping her foot and muttering "Don't want Fwotter anyway! Stupid Fwotter, stupid Kattin, and stupid Mama!"
"Go," Seven commanded, raising her voice to a near shriek, pausing momentarily to feel a stab of guilt as she saw the haughty look in her baby's eyes transform into an expression of fear. She knew that Belle was only lashing out for attention, something she had been somewhat starved of in recent months due to her parents' separation, but it was a habit that she felt must be dealt with and reversed as soon as possible. Had she and Chakotay been on more amicable terms she wouldn't have hesitated to discuss it with him, but they hadn't held a conversation that hadn't turned into a shouting match in two months. "I'm so sorry," she said to Janeway, before letting out a small, choked sob. "I don't know why I let it get to me. I realise that she doesn't really mean it, but it still hurts."
"There's no need to apologise on my account, Seven." Janeway reassured her, "Have you talked to Chakotay about this? She might be behaving this way with him too."
"I doubt it. He is, after all, the wonderful Papa, and nothing he ever does is wrong, or stupid." Seven replied, a hint of bitterness tainting her tone. "We haven't spoken in a while," she further explained, her voice softening somewhat, "Every time we try to have a discussion about either Belle or the separation it ends badly. I blame him, he blames me; it's a vicious circle."
"Would you like me to talk to him about it?" Janeway asked tentatively, not wanting to overstep her mark.
"I shouldn't ask you to, really," Seven said, shaking her head with shame, "But he needs to-"
"Step up and be a proper father?" Janeway finished, shocked at her own choice of words. "I completely agree, Seven; it's not fair that Chakotay is seen in Belle's eyes as being the most brilliant thing in existence all of the time. I'm all for keeping the bond between father and daughter going, but Chakotay needs to realise that he has to encourage Belle to be just as loving with you as she is with him."
"You think he is telling Belle to be rude to me?" Seven asked, doubting that the man she'd once loved would do something so petty, so spiteful.
"I don't think he's inciting her to do it, Seven; but a little discouragement on his part wouldn't go amiss."
"You shouldn't have to talk to him on my behalf, Kathryn, I should take more responsibility and-"
"And what? Make him talk to you. Seven, we both know that won't work. I'm happy to do it, really. That's why you're here, remember, to use me as a go-between."
"Yes, but we made that agreement so that we won't argue in front of Belle anymore, not so that we could run to you and expect you to fix our problems."
"Seven, please, I want to help. It's tearing me apart to see you two so broken. You had a really great thing going on with your marriage, and though I still don't know why itfell apart, I would like to see you two on speaking terms again before the end of the year."
"Well, okay..."
"No, Kathryn, I don't believe it. Belle would never-"
"I saw it with my own eyes, Chakotay, heard it with my own ears; am I in the habit of lying to you? She called Seven 'stupid Mama'. From Seven's reaction it seems like it's been going on for a while."
"Well she should have disciplined her then. It's not my fault if Seven allows her to get away with bad behaviour." Chakotay snapped, waving his hand dismissively.
"But she did reprimand her. Seven is more than capable as a parent, in case you haven't noticed."
"I don't really allow myself to notice her much anymore."
"Well you should! Chakotay, she's the mother of your child." Janeway scolded, making her distaste known in both her disappointed tone and her frown. "I know things ended badly between the two of you, but you have to make the effort because of Belle. That little girl deserves a mother and father who talk to each other if not for the sake of themselves, then for her."
"It's not entirely my fault, you know, Kathryn." Chakotay said, jumping on the defensive. "If she hadn't been so-"
"I don't want to hear it!" Janeway interjected, giving him a stern look that he had come to learn meant that she meant business. "Whatever happened to turn yours and Seven's love so sour I don't want to know. What I do want to know is how you're going to make things right."
"Me?" Chakotay replied incredulously. "Why should it all fall on my shoulders?"
"I never said it should. Seven has some changes to make, she knows that. But, like it or not, Chakotay, you were the one who left, who called time on the marriage. You should have thought rationally before you left her, had some sort of plan in order. But you didn't and now all three of you are paying the price." Upon witnessing Chakotay's subdued silence, she could see that she was making some headway. "You don't have to love her again, Chakotay, hell; you don't even have to be friends. But she's the mother of your child and that should warrant her some respect and support from you."
"It should... It does," he said, pausing momentarily to look over at his daughter, who was sleeping soundly on the couch with her favourite stuffed animal, Trunks, tucked under her left arm. "But it's so hard; I don't know how to talk to her anymore. I don't even think she wants to talk to me anymore."
"It would all be so much simpler if you weren't still in love," Janeway audibly mused. "Don't even try to deny it," she warned, raising her hand in response to his mouth, which was half open with some sort of retort, "I saw the way you looked at her when she left this afternoon. It wasn't the look of somebody who's over his marriage falling apart."
Chakotay sighed, burying his aching head in the cradle of his palms, if only you knew... he thought.
AN2: I don't actually hate Chakotay, just so everyone knows. I know I've portrayed him as being very OOC in both this and 'Shreds and Shards' but both stories are going to reach a happy resolution. Please review!