The 1st Ever Justice League Yard Sale
Chapter 1: we're having a yard sale because people are idiots
"Where were you today, Hal?" Hippolyta asked as Hal Jordan came into the JLA estate for breakfast after his morning jog carrying an item of great importance
…well, since this IS a polite mockery of a highly acclaimed comic book series, then it's probably just some useless crap
"The Hendersons were having a yard sale. I got this free coin collector but I know about loose change; not…for…me" Hal emphasized his sentences while munching on his waffles
"Well that's typical. Your dad's been bringing in useless garbage for 278 stories" Hippolyta casually remarked as she polished the dishes
"you, my dear, were item number 1" Two-Face scoffed, while reading the newspaper, Hippolyta giving her husband a look
"we should be having our own garage sale Harvey, don't you think?" Hippolyta asked
"No. I don't like spending all day making deals with people" Two-Face remarked before repeating "People" in a tone that spelled disgust and utter disdain
"I tell you, I bet Ed's making a LOT of money on that thing" Hippolyta added, the word money perking Harvey's interests
"yup. He told me he got this baby for $200" Hal added, Hippolyta oohing in surprise while Two-Face had the most perfectly incredulous look on his face
"$200? For Henderson's crap? No, no, we got WAY better crap than him" Two-Face said, his brain hatching a brilliant thought out plan as he snatched the coin jar out of Hal's hands
"HEY!" Hal snapped in annoyance
"I can sell this thing for $50! That right there son is pure profit, plain and simple!" Harvey claimed, Hal snorting in annoyance, miffed that his father had swindled his just bought coin collecting jar. Which he got for FREE, might I add?
"Dad, look, what in the Hera makes you think people are gonna come out of their houses and make deals with you at the dead of night?!" Hal grumbled
"well son, let me put it in a way I'm sure you can understand" Harvey replied
"oh no, no, no. I am NOT gonna hear that Every Sperm is Sacred thing again" Hal quickly interrupted, about to leave until Harvey gently nudged him back down
"well, son… People are idiots" Harvey quickly said, giggling like a crazed madman as he left the kitchen loudly singing the digging song from Pocahontas, this quickly ruining the other residents of the household's beauty sleep
"HARVEY! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Batman's gruff voice bellowed
"WHAT IN SAM HILL'S GOIN' ON DOWN THERE? HAVE YOU BEEN IN MY GUINNESS AGAIN?" Hawkman hollered
"HERA DAMMIT, HARVEY, PEOPLE ARE TRYIN' TO SLEEP SO SHUT UP WITH THE NOISE" Black Mask hollered
"HEY SHUT UP-A WITH THE SHUT UP-A" Bruno Mannheim added, poking his head out irately
"YOU SHUT UP-A WITH THE SHUT UP-A" Carmine Falcone chimed in
"SHUT UP-A YOUR FACE! NOW-A MY KNIFE-A WON'T SHUT UP-A" Zsasz joined in
"WHY YOU NO SHUT UP-A?" Maroni asked irately
"I'LL MAKE-A YOU SHUT UP-A" Boss Grissom added
"YOU, TOO, SHUT UP-A" Loeb growled
"Hey, I poke out-a my head" Mario chimed in cheerily
WE NOW RETURN TO CUTTING IN LINE IN FRONT OF ITALIANS
Booster Gold cuts in front of a massive line of Italian Americans, all exclaiming in outrage and disgust. As Booster reaches the booth, Bruno glares at Booster and says 'ey Copernicus why don't'cha navigate yourself back to the line with your feet and stand there with your shirt?