Title: The Life That Awaits (Working title till I think of a better one. Any suggestions?)
Rating: PG. Minus some light language in my author's notes, the fic itself is very innocent. Honestly, this fic is cleaner than the movie was.
Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Labyrinth. It is owned by a company of crazy puppet geniuses, a founding member of Monty Python, and the man who gave us Star Wars...and Jar-Jar Binks. But I'm willing to let that slide. I'm sure other people own it too. I also do not own anything by Madeleine L'Engle. I do however own the theme for this fanfiction, a short song entitled "Love for you", and all rights therein.
Break the ties that bind/
Watch the past unwind/
Can't move forward/
And still move back/
Takes a moment realize/
Takes a lifetime live/
You aren't doing it right/
If you can't give/
Everything/
Everything/
Everything/
To tomorrow/
Say goodbye/
Say goodbye/
Say goodbye/
To yesteryear/
It's a dear love/
That moves us forward/
It's a steadfast hope/
That keeps us strong/
Worlds collide/
But I'll survive/
I'll survive/
For you/
-Love for You
"Just breath. Just breath. Just breath."
Sarah Williams repeated those words like a mantra. She was trying every technique she could think of to calm down, and was coming up short. Of course she was coming up short. It was her wedding day! How could she possibly calm down? All of her bridesmaids were outside, and she was alone in the spacious tent that had been designated to the women for wedding preparations.
The term tent didn't really do the room justice. Her fiancé had truly outdone himself. The makeshift paradise was covered in lilacs and honeysuckle. Candlelight flickered across the room, casting shadows of the bride to be on the canvas walls. Sunset was in its final stages, and fireflies danced outside in the new evening. Soon, Sarah was going to be wed under the stars for all the world to see. The young bride-to-be was in heaven, and she was about to marry the man who had taken her there. What else could a girl want?
What else? Maybe to stop being so nervous! It wasn't the traditional cold feet kind of nervous that Sarah was experiencing. She had no doubts about the man she was going to marry. But she had doubts about everything else! Was she going to trip on her way down the aisle? Would she remember all of her vows? Would her groom's family ever really accept Sarah as one of their own? They were wonderful people, but when Sarah was around them she felt like an outsider. It was as if the whole family was privy to a wonderful secret that she could never be a part of.
Sarah's insecurities undoubtedly had to do with the sheer intelligence of her fiancé Charles's family. His parents were noble prizewinning scientists. And while her future father-in-law was vague on the specifics of his job, Sarah suspected that he had, at one point, been an actual rocket scientist. Whenever the family got together, new scientific theories and discoveries were thrown around the dinner table like wildfire. She knew what they were talking about was extremely important, but it went completely over her head. Every once in awhile, the family would slow down and try to change the subject to something geared more towards Sarah's interests. It was nice of them, and she loved them all the more for it, but Charles rarely got to talk science with his family, and she didn't have the heart to take that experience away from him. Even if she didn't know what he was talking about, she adored seeing the fire in his eyes when he was talking about it. She would quickly change the subject back to something science related, and watch as a bystander as the theological wildfire began anew.
But could a family like the one Charles had ever really truly accept a bystander in their midst?
A clear, accented voice drew Sarah sharply out of her thoughts. "I never saw you as a person that cared if others accepted them or not."
The voice was coming from behind her, but she didn't need to see the speaker to know who it was. His was a voice not easily forgotten. As her blood started to run cold, she turned around and her thoughts were confirmed.
The Goblin King.
Sarah's eyes opened wide in fear, and she took a staggered step back. "W-where did you come from? You're not real!"
Jareth smirked and sent Sarah a look that said 'you've got to be kidding me'. He didn't bother to respond to her last comment, but he did answer her first question. "I'm always here Sarah, in one way or another."
"But I didn't even hear you! I thought you liked loud entrances."
Jareth cracked another smile, one that frightened Sarah greatly. The Goblin King could truly have the smile of the devil when he wished. "Only when it suits me. If it eases you at all, there's a chance I came out of the mirror when you weren't looking. Or perhaps I leapt out of the candlelight! Or maybe I was on my way to collect a child and saw you standing there. Or maybe..." Jareth took a step closer to Sarah, and cusped her face in his hand "...Just maybe, you wished me here. Does that ease you?"
Sarah looked at the Goblin King in utter indignation. "Why on earth would that ease me?"
Jareth shrugged and let go of Sarah's face, indicating that the subject was dropped. How he got there mattered not, Sarah was simply trying to grasp some measure of logic in a completely illogical situation.
The devil smile was gone. The Goblin King crossed his arms and stood up straight, looking devastatingly regal and utterly unreadable. Sarah thought that he would leave, but instead he said, "You don't often think of me Sarah."
It wasn't a question or a challenge, and Sarah did not take it as one.
"I don't. I thought you were a dream. A helpful dream, but a dream nonetheless. People don't spend time obsessing over dreams."
"You once did." Once again, Jareth was simply stating a fact.
As she spoke, Sarah started to calm down. Though she never could be sure of his intentions, The Goblin King did not seem to be here to cause trouble.
"Once upon a time." Sarah smiled in spite of herself. Once upon a time. Had it really been all that long ago?
"Why not now?"
Sarah got the distinct feeling that Jareth already knew the answer. But talking with him was giving her something to do other than pace around nervously, waiting for the wedding to start. Besides, maybe it was long past time that she spoke with him.
"Now, my reality is better than my dreams. My laughter is real. My happiness is real. I wouldn't trade in what I have now for any dream, no matter how sweet."
Jareth nodded, appearing appeased. Sarah's reply seemed to have answered another question that he did not ask. Sarah had a good idea of what that intangible question was, but she didn't dare think it or say it. Acknowledging something meant giving it power, and she was not in a position to give such power.
The two of them stood there for several minutes in uncomfortable silence. Or rather, it was uncomfortable for Sarah. She got the distinct impression that The Goblin King didn't know what it meant to be uncomfortable. Instead, he looked Sarah up and down, trying to figure out the answer to an equation that turned out to be more complicated than it first appeared.
Breaking the silence, Jareth held out his hand. He seemed to have given up trying to figure things out where Sarah was concerned. "Dance with me."
Sarah looked hesitant. "I still have indigestion from the last time we danced."
Jareth laughed, and did not attempt to justify his previous actions. The past was past. "If I am not real, as you still believe, then you have nothing to worry about. I ask for so little. One dance."
Sarah was not swayed by Jareth's comments. "I think that with you...a dance is never just a dance."
"Sometimes my dear, a dance is simply a dance. No matter how much one wishes to believe otherwise." Jareth dropped his smiling demeanor for a moment, and looked somber. Before Sarah could wonder if he was talking about a babe or a king, he perked up again. Putting on his most engaging smile, he said "And besides, if you were going to come away with me, you would have done so already."
Sarah could not argue with that last statement. She took Jareth's hand and looked at him in a vaguely challenging way. "And if you were going to take me away, I think you would have done it already."
Jareth arched his head back and laughed. "How right you are! I could never take someone away who didn't wish it."
Despite his abrupt change of mood, Sarah was satisfied with The Goblin King's logic and they began a slow waltz. They danced in an unexpectedly content silence while Jareth got an even closer look at Sarah. Her wedding dress was surprisingly simply. Stunning, but simple. He didn't know the correct terms for dress styles in this day and age, but the top looked like a very simple corset, and the bottom was a long skirt with a few thin layers. From what he could tell, the dress trailed out several feet behind Sarah, and he was careful not to step on it as they danced. On a nearby table, he saw a white veil that he assumed was hers.
"Odd."
"What's odd?"
Jareth gestured to her outfit. "That's not what I imagined your wedding gown would look like."
Had it been anyone else, Sarah may have been offended. She loved her wedding dress. It was simple, but very unique. Instead of being offended, Sarah was simply curious. The Goblin King had pictured her in a wedding dress! So she replied, "Really? And what would you imagine?"
"The same thing you once did."
Sarah wrinkled her brow in confusion. "What are you talking about...Oh." Sarah realized the answer to her question even as she was asking it. What else would he picture?
For some reason, Sarah felt that she may have hurt The Goblin King, but she couldn't be sure. Instead, she explained why her gown was so simple as the mismatched pair continued to waltz around the tent. "Styles have changed since then. And besides that, I'm having an outdoor wedding. I would fry under all that fabric."
The answer didn't really seem like enough, but it was all she could give. Truth be told, when she was picking out dresses, the one Jareth mentioned hadn't even crossed her mind. By all logic, the gown should have at least entered her thoughts. It really was the most magnificent dress she had ever worn. But it just didn't occur to her. And truthfully, if she had the option, she would still choose the dress she was currently wearing. Realizing this, Sarah felt as if she had somehow betrayed The Goblin King.
As if Jareth could read her mind, which Sarah suspected he could indeed do, he sped up the tempo of the waltz. Maybe he was simply bored with dancing so slowly, but Sarah got the distinct impression that he was trying to distract her.
"And your husband to be?"
Sarah paused and smiled, lost in her own little world. For a moment she forgot that she was twirling around a candlelit paradise with magic king. Instead, she saw her fiancé's face. He was the gentlest man she had ever known, with the purest of all hearts to boot. He always seemed to know what Sarah needed before she even had to ask, be it a cup of milk at midnight or a shoulder to cry on during her darkest hour.
"My Charles."
She had not intended to say his name out loud. It was a slip of the tongue, but she said his name with such love and tenderness that neither could ignore the issue in front of them. Jareth did not try to hide his jealousy. He sped up the dance and they spun around the room dangerously.
"Your Charles." The name left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Not your prince charming."
They were dancing quicker and Jareth was gripping Sarah tightly. The candlelight that had previously been so romantic now cast dangerous shadows across The Goblin King's face. For a moment Sarah had forgotten.
He could be cruel.
She was frightened, but did not back down. She looked The Goblin King straight in the eyes and said, "I don't want a prince charming."
He barely seemed to notice. He spoke quicker, his tone laced with more malice.
"Your Charles. Not your knight in shining armor."
He looked threatening, and Sarah was terrified. But she did not show it. For all the quicker the Goblin King spoke, Sarah spoke that much slower. That much more steady. And she never let her gaze stagger.
"I don't want a knight in shining armor."
He spoke quicker still.
"Your Charles. Not your slave."
It was no longer enough to combat his tone. Instead, Sarah took control of the dance. Slowing down when he sped up, staying in place when he tried to spin. Instead of responding right away, Sarah pulled Jareth closer to her, until their lips were almost touching. Not so long ago, his warm breath would have made her knees buckle. But no longer. She spoke in a hushed tone, but a steady one. She had to show him that she was in control.
"I don't want a slave. I don't want any of those things."
Jareth seemed almost amused. He gave up on the waltz and enveloped Sarah in his arms, eliminating any distance between them. She wanted to play? He could play. He put his lips against Sarah's ear, and noted with satisfaction that she went completely rigid the second she felt his breath against her. "Tell me Sarah. What do you want?"
She could feel his body against hers, his lips to her ear. And though she went rigid, no strong emotions were evoked in her. It's not that she wasn't unaffected by The Goblin King's presence. Of course she was...but she wasn't reacting as she once would have.
She wasn't reacting as a girl in love would react.
Because she did not love Jareth. She truly did not love him.
This realization was so significant that it made her gasp. She did not love The Goblin King! He was a fantasy creature, and she was no longer the kind of girl that pined after an untouchable fantasy. And she hadn't been for a very long time.
Now she was a girl who pined after Charles Wallace. Charles could not offer Sarah a kingdom. But he offered her his heart. He could not re-order the world for her, but he could stand beside her as they faced the world together. He could not give Sarah all of her dreams on a silver platter, or an enchanted crystal. Instead, he offered her something better. The promise of new dreams. Dreams they would create together.
Although she said nothing aloud, Jareth knew it was not his ministrations that evoked a gasp from Sarah. He released his hold on her and took a step back.
Looking somber, he repeated his question. "I ask again. What is it that you want Sarah?"
She didn't want to say it. Though she did not love The Goblin King, she was starting to realize all he had done for her. She did not wish to crush him again. As she spoke, hot tears begin to well up in her eyes. This was real. This was not a play. She wasn't reciting lines, and she wasn't playing a roll.
"If you can read me as well as you claim to, then you know what I want. You've always known." She paused and gave a tearful smile. "Even when I didn't."
Though not moved to tears as Sarah was, Jareth was visibly touched. She did not wish to hurt him. She didn't want to cast him as a villain any more than she wanted to be a virtuous heroine. She just wanted to be.
But she could not do that and still keep Jareth in her life. Knowing this, he insisted. "If you have ever had faith in me, then I beg you to answer the question."
It was with those words that a complete understanding passed between the two. An unspeakable, limitless understanding. An unbreakable trust. She felt all that he felt, and knew all that he knew. And because of this she understood that for the next part of her life to start, she had to let him go. You cannot look to the future while clinging to the past.
Sarah took a deep breath and finally answered the question
"I want love." She paused and gave a sad smile. "Love. In all its complexity and in all its simplicity. In this world that is so full of despair, I want something real. I want Charles. My Charles. No more, no less."
Jareth nodded, looking both happy for her, and infinitely sad. "And that is what I want for you. Goodbye Sarah."
The Goblin King kissed Sarah ever so lightly on the forehead, and began to fade away.
Though she knew he could not stay, and though she loved Charles, Sarah felt a piece of her heart break as the beautiful king faded away. A piece of her heart from a long time ago. From once upon a time.
Before he faded away completely, Sarah had one last question for The Goblin King.
"Jareth."
She spoke barely above a whisper. It was all she could manage while trying to keep from crying. But Jareth was surprised. Sarah was good at surprising him.
She had never before called The Goblin King by his real name. Never.
He didn't stop fading, but he did acknowledge her. "Yes Sarah?"
She looked hesitant, but spoke anyway. What choice did she have? He was leaving. Any question not asked now would remain a question forever. "After all this time, I have to know. Are you real, or did I create you?"
Jareth took a moment to consider the question, and then gave a genuine smile as he vocalized what both parties were thinking. "Does it really matter?"
Sarah gave a small, but honest laugh. "Not in the least."
Sarah expected Jareth to disappear that instant, but the Goblin King was not done surprising her. Though he was still fading away, there was time enough left for him to take Sarah's wedding veil from the table, and gently place it atop her head. He pulled the front of the veil over her head, and was gone. Sarah turned towards a nearby mirror and looked at herself. She was truly alone.
But not for long.
She looked around the room, and whispered, "thank you."
Sarah looked at herself as if she was seeing a whole new person. An adult. A woman. And soon, a wife. She remained silent until Karen popped her head into the tent. Karen was taken aback by the sight of Sarah, and put her hands to her face as she took in a sharp breath.
Sarah turned around, concerned. Her stepmother did not often gasp. "Mom? Are you alright?"
Karen smiled and nodded, very moved that Sarah had called her 'mom'. She had done so before, but it was always very touching. "Oh, honey I'm fine. You just look so...so grown up. I was surprised is all." Karen paused and wiped away a tear before it could ruin her makeup. "You look very beautiful."
Sarah smiled and embraced her stepmother. Though they weren't related by blood, the two women had become very close over the years. Truthfully, Karen was more of a mother to Sarah than Linda Williams had ever been. Sarah suspected that was why she had once been so resentful of Karen.
"Is it time to start?"
Karen nodded and started leading Sarah out of the tent. "Yes. Your father is waiting. And so is Charles Wallace."
Karen squeezed Sarah's arm gently, and went to join the rest of the wedding party. Sarah started to walk towards her father, who threw a small wink in his daughter's direction.
Sarah smiled and winked back. She stopped walking for a moment and cast one glace back at the tent. It didn't seem to be glowing as much as it once had. She took a deep breath, and whispered, "My life awaits."
And with those words, Sarah Williams began walking towards her future. It was uncertain, but it was hopeful. It was real. And it was hers to live.
Fin.
Author's note:
If you were wondering if "Charles Wallace" is the same "Charles Wallace" from Madeleine L'Engle's classic novel A Wrinkle In Time and the rest of the books about the Murry/O'Keefe family, you are correct! He just seemed to fit. Here's a guy that was never really accepted by anyone outside of his family, as I suspect Sarah wasn't. Here's a guy that doesn't care if other people think he's a freak, just like Sarah. I mean, you can't run around town playing make believe at the age of 15 if you care what your neighbors think. It just doesn't work like that. For all of Sarah's faults at the start of the movie, a lack of self-confidence isn't one of them.
When it comes to Labyrinth, the question is always tossed around "Is Jareth real, or is he a figment of Sarah's imagination?" I've thought about it, and the answer that I've come up with is this: Who cares? Jareth is what he is, and his effect on Sarah is not contingent upon his being real. Because of Jareth, Sarah grows up. That's sort of the point of this fic. It's a chance for her to say goodbye, and to do what I think her whole trip to the Labyrinth was all about. It's a chance for her to grow up.