All characters are owned by DC comics
Author's note: This story makes several references to my story 'Harley and Ivy: The Joker's Last Beating, you don't have to read it to understand the plot.
Harley sighed as she sat on the couch. Ivy was in South America looking for some endangered plant. Harley tried to tag along, but Ivy told her she needed some time alone. Selina was of with Bruce Wayne somewhere. Harley was bored out of her mind. She had cleaned all of her guns, sharpened all of her knives and watched every movie in the house. She sighed and got up and walked to the greenhouse to check on Ivy's plants. After making the rounds in the greenhouse, she headed back to the house.
"Maybe there's a good cartoon on" She thought.
When she walked back into the house, her jaw dropped at the sight before her. The Joker was sitting on the couch with two henchmen.
"Hello, Harley Girl" The Joker said.
"How are you talkin'?!" Harley yelled "I cut your vocal cords!"*
"It's amazing what medical science can do" the Joker said "and a doctor will do anything if he thinks it will save him and his family."
Harley reached for her .357. Before she could grab it, someone behind her pulled it out of the holster. She spun around and saw another of the Joker's henchmen pointing her own revolver at her head.
Harley turned around and asked "whaddya want?"
"I want you back" the Joker said.
"No way in Hell" Harley said.
"Oh come on, Pooh" The Joker said "don't you miss me?"
"No" Harley said.
"Come on, Pumpkin Pie" the Joker said "come home with me. I'll only beat you a little for stabbing me, shooting me and sending me to prison."
Harley spun around and grabbed the barrel of the revolver. She pushed it down and kneed the henchmen between the legs. He let go of the gun and fell to the ground and curled into a ball. Before she could turn around, the other two henchmen tacked her and grabbed her arms.
"GET OFFA ME!" She yelled.
They pulled her hands together behind her back. Harley felt tape being wrapped around her wrists, binding them together behind her back.
"Don't worry" she heard the Joker say "the tape is red and black checkered."
"I'M GONNA CUT YA APART PIECE BY PIECE WITH A RUSTY BUTTAH KNIFE!" Harley yelled.
"Where was this Harley when we were together?" The Joker asked.
He finished taping her hands and taped her mouth shut. He quickly taped her ankles together and threw the tape on the ground. The henchmen picked Harley up.
The Joker backhanded her in the face and said "that's a preview of things to come. Get her out of here, I'm going to burn down that greenhouse before we leave."
Harley began shaking her head.
"Aw, do you not want me to burn the pretty flowers?" The Joker asked.
Harley shook her head again.
"Well" he said "you did put up quite a fight which made me fun for me. So I won't burn the plants. At least not right now."
He took a piece of paper out of his pocket and dropped it on the floor as they left. One of the henchmen was still holding Harley's .357.
"Put that back" the Joker said.
"Come on, Boss" he said "souvenir."
The Joker pulled out his own pistol and said "I said put it back! Give plant lady something to remember Harley and kill herself with."
"Come on Boss" he said "who else can say they have the Harley Quinn's gun?"
The Joker pistol whipped him and yelled "PUT IT BACK!"
The henchmen nodded and ran back into the house. He set the .357 on top of the note and ran after the others.
Ivy came home the next day.
She walked into the house and said "Harl, I'm home."
She waited for Harley to run into the room and tackle her in a hug.
"Harley?" She called when the blond didn't come into the room.
As she walked into the room to see if Harley was hiding, she accidentally kicked something. She looked down and saw Harley's .357 on the floor.
"Something's wrong" she thought as she picked up the pistol "Harley would never just leave this on the floor."
She saw the note and picked it up and looked at it.
The only thing written on it was "Harley is mine." Followed by a website.
Ivy went into her room, opened her laptop and went to the website from the note. It opened a video chat site, Ivy couldn't believe the sight on the screen. Harley was in her old jester costume and face paint with tear lines and smears in the makeup. Her hands tied above her head. Her face was horribly beaten and bleeding and she seemed to be struggling to breath. The Joker was standing in front of her.
He punched her in the face and asked "what do you say?"
"Go…to…Hell" Harley said.
He back handed her and said "No, what do you say?"
"Drop…dead" Harley said.
He punched her twice and said "no. I'll help you get started, I-."
Harley looked at him and said "hate…ya."
He grabbed her throat and backhanded her twice and punched her three times and yelled "say it!"
Harley hung her head and said "I…I…lo…I…love…ya."
The Joker smiled and said "I love you, what?"
"P…Puddin'" Harley said.
"There you go" he said "that wasn't hard was it?"
"Leave her alone!" Ivy yelled.
The Joker looked at the laptop and saw Ivy on the screen.
"Oh, look who decided to tune in" the he said "say it again Harley."
Harley was sobbing as she said "I…love…ya…Puddin'."
The Joker patted her head and "good girl. Now look at the camera and tell the plant lady how much you hate her."
Harley slowly looked at the laptop and said "Red…help…me…please."
The Joker backhanded her and said "no!"
He took out a pistol and shot the laptop. Ivy quickly began using her laptop to trace the signal. She tracked it to an abandoned circus. She filled her pockets with weaponized seeds and ran out the door.
"I should have let her come with me" Ivy thought as she jumped into her car and sped away towards the circus.
She drove as fast as the car would go, being careful to avoid the police. As she approached the circus, she saw several of the Joker's henchmen guarding a gate in a tall chain-link fence. She kept her foot on the floor and ducked down slightly. She rammed through the gate with her car and kept going. She hit the brakes and turned the car sideways and slid to a stop in front of the tent. She jumped out of the car and ran into the tent. Several henchmen were blocking her path. They saw her and began to draw their pistols. Ivy reached into her pockets and threw two handfuls of seeds at them. The seeds stuck to their skin and clothes. The seeds immediately sprouted vines that cocooned the henchmen. Ivy looked around and saw Harley in the middle of the room. Her hands were still tied to a pipe above her head and her body was hanging limply from the rope.
"Harley" Ivy said as she ran towards her.
Harley looked up slightly and said "Red…no…it's a…trap."
Suddenly Ivy was hit with a blast of Joker Venom Gas. Ivy began coughing then laughing.
"Red…no" Harley said.
The Joker walked up laughing as Ivy's laughter stopped.
"What part of immune to all toxins and poisons don't you understand?" Ivy asked as she stepped out of the gas cloud.
"Red" Harley said "thank-"
The Joker backhanded her and said "Shut up! You belong to me! Forget about her!"
He raised his hand to hit him again. Suddenly a thorn covered vine wrapped around his wrist and pulled his hand away from Harley. He turned and saw Ivy glaring at him.
Ivy tightened the vine around his wrist and said "lay a finger on her again and I'll tear your arms out of their sockets."
The Joker pulled out a knife and cut the vine. Ivy glared at him and threw a seed at him.
The Joker caught the seed and said "I think you're slipping up."
"Am I?" Ivy asked smiling.
The Joker looked in his hand and saw that the seed had gone underneath his skin. His arm began to shake slightly and immediately straightened as thorns began coming through his skin. The same thing happened to his other arm. His legs straightened as thorns came through his skin again.
"If you're wondering what just happened, your skeleton is now covered in special vines I created. They will stick to every bone in your body and make your skeleton one solid piece. You will never move again "Ivy approached said "when Harley beat you to a bloody mess that night, she made one mistake. She left you alive instead of ending your miserable, disgusting existence. I'll leave that honor to her when she is ready. Have fun in Arkham,"
The Joker's eyes widened slightly. Ivy reached into her back pocket and pulled out a handful of pollen and blew it into the Joker's face.
"The joke's on you" the Joker said as he started coughing "you just killed Harley too."
"Harley is immune to my toxins" Ivy said "besides, that wasn't fatal. Although it will burn your vocal cords to shut you up."
The Joker opened his mouth to talk, but he couldn't make a sound. He just glared at Ivy. Ivy walked over to Harley and carefully cut Her free. Harley collapsed as soon as the rope was cut. Ivy caught her and gently carried her outside to the car and drove her home. She carried Harley inside and set her on her bed. Ivy helped her out of the jester costume and into red pajama pants and a black tank top. She gently cleaned the makeup off of Harley's face.
Ivy propped Harley up on the headboard and asked "do you want to go to the hospital?"
"I don't think so" Harley said "he's beaten me worse than this before."
Ivy sat down on the bed and gently ran her fingers through Harley's hair.
"I'm sorry" Ivy said "I shouldn't have left you alone."
"It's fine, Red" Harley said "ya couldn't have known, it was-"
"Stop" Ivy said "don't say it was your fault. Don't let him back in your head, Harl. It wasn't your fault."
"I was gonna to say it was bound to happen sooner or later, I shoulda killed 'im" Harley said.
"Oh" Ivy said.
"The only reason I said I loved him was so he would stop hitting me is because I saw ya on the computer out of the cornah of my eye. I wanted him to stop so I could ask for help" Harley said.
"Oh, ok then" Ivy said "by the way they left something with the note. I'll be right back."
Ivy left the room and came back with something behind her back.
She showed it to Harley and said "ta-da!"
"My .357" Harley said "I thought it was gone for sure."
"I thought you would be happy to see it" Ivy said.
Harley tried to sit up, but winced in pain and leaned back against the headboard.
"Take it easy, Harl" Ivy said "you need to rest."
"I was just trying to hug ya and say thanks" Harley said.
Ivy smiled and leaned down to Harley, hugged her and said "no problem."
She sat back up and let Harley lean against the headboard again.
"Red?" Harley said.
"Yes?" Ivy said.
"Can we have ice cream and maybe watch cartoons?" Harley asked.
Ivy smiled and said "sure Harl."