Summary: Song fic to the song fic, 'Live like you were dying' by Tim McGraw. Cam's in the hospital.
Disclaimer: Dont own song, show, Tim McGraw, yadda yadda, trust me- I'd take over the world if I did own them.
Hunter paced restlessly around the white hallway. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he kept his eyes trained on the light blue door that seemed to be mocking him. It was stupid really, all he had to do was turn the handle, open the door and go back in… but he couldn't. Couldn't bear to see… he just couldn't.
The door started to open, so he quickly ducked around the corner, out of sight.
"I know you're there bro." Blake came around the corner, glancing down at him, when he tried crouching behind a chair. "What are you doing?"
Hunter grinned sheepishly, standing. "It was worth a try, so what are you doing out here?"
"I came out here to find you, we were all starting to wonder what happened to you, especially Cam."
"Oh yeah, I was just on my way back." He stuffed his hands back in the pockets of his jeans, shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet.
"Hunter, you left for the bathroom half an hour ago and I know for a fact that you have a strong stomach, so what' up?" Blake crossed his arms, 'no nonsense' face in place. Hunter sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs, head in his hands, sighing before speaking to his shoes.
"I can't go in there."
"What? Why not?" Blake sounded surprised "Its not like Cam wont let you back in just cause you took forever-"
"No, it's not that!" Hunter cut him off, glancing up at his brother. How could he make his brother understand how hard it was to see Cam in that bed, in that room, in that hospital? He cared too much about the samurai to see him like that. More then he would ever admit. "I, its just that, Cam is laying there in the hospital bed and I…just cant go back in there right now."
Understanding made its way into Blake's eyes, as he nodded, placing a hand on the blonds shoulder.
"Alright, I'll tell them I sent you off for snacks, but you'll have to go back in eventually, bro. You kinda owe Cam that." Hunter nodded, relieved as his brother turned to go back into the room. Getting to his feet, he glanced up and down the hallway, trying to decide where to go. Choosing a direction he followed it, letting his feet lead him wherever.
He could handle a lot of things, but hospitals were one thing he couldn't. Especially when he was there because of one of his friends.
He just needed time; Cam wouldn't care too much if he stayed out a little longer, right?
His feet led him to a small room with a vending machine and a small table. The rooms only other occupant sat at the table, book propped open in front of him. He looked like he was in his 40's or 50's, dark hair and eyes behind thick glasses, wearing one of the blue hospital robes.
Hunter offered a small nod in greeting as the man looked up, before turning to the vending machine, change in hand. Choosing some random buttons, he picked up his snacks glancing around the room. He really didn't want to go back just yet, so making a decision; he headed over to the small table.
He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin' 'bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How's it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?
"Mind if I sit here?" The man glanced up at him, gesturing at the chair.
"Go ahead, I wouldn't mind the company, actually. Names Pat." Hunter pulled out the chair, sitting down with his pile of candies on the table.
"Hunter."
"So," the man continued, his voice deep and gravely. "What brings you here?"
"Snacks." Hunter held up a package of chips as the man laughed.
"I mean to the hospital actually, unless of course, you decided to actually drop by Sunnyside for their wide selection of vending machine treats." Hunter felt himself grinning, before it slowly faded off his face.
"I'm here for a friend actually, he just had surgery."
"Ah," He nodded in understanding. "What for?"
"Appendicitis." Unwanted memories of Cam doubling over in pain at the Wind academy flooded through his mind, the car ride to the hospital, Cam too pale, the doctors saying he'd need emergency surgery…
His eyes snapped open, someone shaking him lightly.
"Sorry." He mumbled, worried brown eyes staring at him.
"It's alright, world closing in on you?" Hunter opened and closed his mouth, staring dumbly at Pat. "Used to happen to me, still sort of does."
They sat there quietly for a bit. Pat reading his book, Hunter staring off into space, mind set on the man lying in the hospital bed.
"So," he cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "Why are you here, I mean if you don't mind me asking?" He added quickly.
Pat nodded, grinning slightly. "No, its fine. I'm actually here for surgery. I've got cancer, they'll be operating later today."
"Oh, I'm sorry…"
"It's fine." Pat shrugged, "I'm doing pretty well, I mean after I got over the original shock…" Hunter fidgeted with one of the chocolate bars, flipping it over in his hands.
"Um, you seem to be taking it well." Pat glanced at him, raising an eyebrow and pulling off his glasses, folding them up and placing them gently on the table.
"You can ask questions if you want. I don't mind."
Hunter blushed bright red. "I um, well, if you don't mind, I just was wondering- what did you do when you found out?"
An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."
The older man regarded him intently, before continuing. "Well," He began. "I stayed at home, rarely ever left my room. I was so depressed, like my life had already been ended. My wife and I rarely talked. My kids were growing up around me and I never really noticed."
Hunter nodded, encouraging him to continue.
"My job was becoming my life when I did leave the house." He paused, as though thinking how to continue. "I was spiralling down wards, I could tell that my friends were fed up with me and I just didn't care. They stopped inviting me out because I was just too depressing."
"What happened?" Hunter asked, leaning forwards intently.
"There was a reunion for the high school I went to and my wife talked me into going, I'm not even sure how she did either, but I went. Mostly I stayed to the corners, trying not to talk to anyone, I didn't want them to feel sorry for me. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depends on how you look at it, my best friend from high school, who I hadn't talked to in years, managed to track me down."
Hunter without realising it had gone completely still, waiting for the story to continue.
"We talked about the past and what we'd been up to since high school and then he told me about how his wife had brain cancer. I immediately told him how sorry I was and if there was anything I could ever do, just phone. He laughed. Just stood there and laughed. When he was done, he apologized then explained why. When his wife found out she had cancer, she didn't sit around the house like I had. She went out, took up archery and painting. Bought a cottage by the lake and took a trip to Paris. She did what I hadn't. Lived every day to the fullest."
"What then?" Hunter asked as the silence continued drifting between them.
"Well, I returned home and realised what I was doing. It was like I had my eyes opened for me. I needed to change the way I was acting drastically." Pat paused, eyes twinkling. "So, I did the only thing I could. I went sky diving."
He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn't.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin',
"Wasn't such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:
Hunter grinned, eyes meeting Pats. "You went sky diving?" He asked incredulously.
"Yup," Pat grinned proudly "Scariest thing I've ever done. My wife must of thought I had gone insane, but I think she liked the change. I took her out to dinner more, I cooked, remembered birthdays and anniversaries. I read my kids stories, took them to movies, tucked them in, went to school plays and concerts." He grinned fondly, eyes a million miles away. "My friends started inviting me out again and I had them over every week. I went fishing, which by the way I'm not very good at, and the year I lost my dad, I took my wife and kids with me and we spent the week at the lake. I took up reading, even tried some writing myself."
"Wow, to do all that, I don't think I could in your situation." Hunter said seriously, glancing down at his hands.
"It made me look back on my life, made me think, what if I could do this all again? What would I change? I decided 'what if' were two words that I had used too often." Pat watched Hunter grin ruefully, fiddling with a now open package of M&M's.
"Wish I could be more like you. My life is full of 'what if' and 'maybe'. I mean, I can't even tell…" He trailed off, popping a green candy into his mouth.
"Ah," Pat replied knowingly. "In high school, there was this girl that I really liked, I mean, I thought I loved her type thing, but I didn't make my move, never told her. I spent years thinking about what would have happened if I had of told her how I felt. It still nags me sometimes, even though I couldn't be more in love with my wife."
Hunter blushed bright red, denial on the tip of his tongue, but Pats words made him reconsider.
"It's just that there's no way they could like me back. So, I just keep my mouth shut and don't say anything, I don't want to ruin our friendship over something as small as this."
"It's not that small if it bothers you this much. You never know unless you act." Hunter nodded, staring intently at a spot over Pats left shoulder.
"I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."
"So, what else did you do, aside from Sky diving, I mean?" Hunter asked, deciding to change the subject. Pat grinned, completely aware of the not so subtle topic change.
"Well, I climbed the Rocky Mountain's and rode a rodeo bull for about 3 seconds, before I was thrown violently from its back and ended up with a broken arm. It was worth it though. I was kinder to people and animals, I forgave people, when before I wouldn't listen to reason. I changed a lot and I'd say for the better, wouldn't you?"
"Yeah." Hunter agreed, falling into the comfortable silence again. Pat was right, now if only he was brave enough to follow the older man's advice. All he had to do was walk down the hallway and tell Cam. Could he do that though?
"Hey! Hunter, I've been looking for you every where!" The blond glanced up, just in time to see his brother walk into the small room, worried look on his face. "The others stopped believing the 'sent him for snacks' excuse forty minutes ago, you can't avoid Cam forever." Blake stopped, as though just noticing the other man in the room. "Oops, sorry."
"It's alright." Pat smiled up at him. "I'm Pat." He extended his hand. Blake grasped it, shaking it.
"Blake, I'm Hunter's brother." He turned to Hunter. "I think Cam's a little put off that you're the only one that hasn't visited him all day." The blond glanced over at Pat nervously, then back to Blake.
"Cam doesn't need me to visit him, the others are there. I think some of the other teachers are dropping by later as well." Blake rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, but he wants to see you, not the others. Anyways, hurry up or I will drag you back to the room. Nice meeting you Pat." Blake smiled, then turned and left.
"Well that explains why you don't want to tell…Cam was it? How you felt." Hunter's eyes widened, biting his lip nervously as he waited for the scathing remarks. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not an old fashioned guy, my brother's gay actually, he's currently living with an artist he met." A surprised smile came to Hunter's lips, eyes widening even more.
"But, I'm, wait-what?" Pat grinned, as Hunter stuttered.
Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you'd do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?
"Look, it's been great talking to you Hunter, but you should really be getting back to your friends, I'm pretty sure there's one that you should be talking to." Hunter nodded, getting to his feet.
"Thanks Pat, it's been great talking to you…I hope your surgery goes well." He shook hands with the older man, gathering up the snacks; he had set out for around an hour ago.
"Hey, just one more piece of advice before you go." Hunter turned back to the older man, as he put his glasses on, picking up his book.
"No matter how cheesy it sounds, live your life to the fullest, like everyday is a gift. You've got your entire life ahead of you, take chances, you only learn from your mistakes, right?" Pat shrugged, before going back to his book. Hunter nodded, heading down the hallway towards Cams room.
Pausing outside of the door, his hand rested on the doorknob. He could do this. He could do this. Worse comes to worse, Cam at least couldn't deck him, not while laying in the bed, right? Squaring his shoulders, he pushed the door open.
Everyone went silent, glancing up as he walked in.
"Sorry it took me so long. I uh, ran into a friend." He put the snacks on the small table, taking a seat next to Cam's legs on the bed.
"I was beginning to wonder if you'd gotten lost." Cam spoke softly, still pale against the stark white sheets, but not as pale as before. Hunter offered him a small smile.
"So, um- we're going to get lunch, since you took so long Hunter, you get to keep Cam company." Tori spoke up, the four ex rangers heading for the door.
Cam waited for the four to leave the room, before looking over at the silent blond.
"You can ask, you know." He stated.
"What?" Hunter met his eyes, confused. Cam sighed, tugging him forwards, so they were only inches apart.
"Ask, and I'll say yes." He whispered, eyes flickering down to Hunters lips. Hunter watched, entranced as Cams tongue darted out, without realising it, wetting the samurai's lips.
"Can I-?" Cam nodded, leaning forwards with some difficulty, lips meeting, brushing lightly, then deepening the kiss, mapping out each other's mouths.
Aware of Cam's healing injuries, he pulled back regretfully. Brushing a strand of hair off of the pale face, running a finger down Cam's cheekbone.
"It took you long enough. What changed?" Cam's voice came out husky.
"Lets just say I got some good advice on my life." Hunter nudged Cam over, curling up on the bed next to him, wrapping an arm around the samurai. Cam looked at him curiously. "I'll tell you later." Hunter said simply, grinning.