I don't own the Stargate universe... although it would have been fun :)

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Forgive me, Sam… I'm sorry for the nightmares in which I see your face, I feel the touch of your skin upon my skin… no, not yours, but hers. The image of you… so beautiful and too evil to be compared to you. Blue eyes… sparkling with a life I know it isn't yours, with an inner fire so cold that it freezes my heart with a mere glance. With the golden hair, sparkling in the desert sun with a light of it's own… so much fire inside that being, so close to your image and yet so wrong in it's appearance. Your face with a heartless soul… the small smile on the luscious lips as the blade went through my heart… the place where I hid my love for you for I thought that the time for us hasn't come yet. But I was so, so wrong… the time for us is now, it has been for a long, long time…

As I lay there, feeling the cold claw of Death embracing my body I knew… You kept me alive even when the Fate turned against us. All I did… I have been looking for you for so long, yet you were here, beside me and I couldn't see it. But I know now… I want you with me, I want you in me, within my heart… and even if I recoil under your touch… forgive me, Sam, for it is not you I fear… my nightmares are. The ones I know you can cast away with a smile, the way you do it every night, as my body lays still under the soft touch of your hands, my breathing sharp and shallow… as you whisper sweet words in my ear, hands caressing my face, pulling me back towards you, the real you that I know could never do what she had done.

Forgive me, my love… for tonight I am giving myself to you… with all the light and darkness I have within, searching in you the one place I know that will keep me safe… your heart. Something she didn't have…