A/N: This is written by Feli and Luddy (HetaliaDerp). We're bored, half asleep, watching TV, and texting Lilli. Not to mention we've been at the beach all day, and we're going for ice cream later. And I'm typing across Feli's stomach. But that didn't work very well.

Disclaimer: We do not own Hetalia, or the characters.

P.S. We're watching The Amazing World of Gumball, and being distracted. Extremely distracted. We can't comprehend what's happening on this show. Seriously. Okay, let's get on with the story.

WARNING: This fic is made up of crack. This is based off of a true story. Also, all misspellings are on purpose because of the way we will forever tell this story. (Trust me, it pains me to type my half of this. I'm sure Feli will be absolutely fine typing her half.) Brace yourselves; this is going to be one helluva ride. Allons-y!

There is no particular pairing, but it's you (the viewer), your friend, and America, aka Alfred F. Jones. Enjoy this fagulous (not really) story.

It was a normal day at the beach. You and your best friend were busy ogling the lifeguard perched upon his lifeguard tower. Both of you agreed that he was supah hawt. He was so supah hawt that he deserved a reward. While you and your friend babbled on about this supah hawt lifeguard, your mummy was listening. Oh, she was listening, alright, and she had a plan.

"He's, like, so amazingly hawt," You cooed.

"Supah hawt," Your friend agreed.

The two of you went on like this for quite some time. The lifeguard stayed his stunning self, right down to his dirty-blonde hair with the gravity-defying cowlick, to his glasses that were slipping from the bridge of his nose, and to his piercing sapphire eyes that twinkled in the sunlight. Your ovaries exploded at the mere sight of his hawtness. That is, if you had ovaries. You could be a 14 year-old boy trying to fap to some Minecraft, and whatnot.

Anyway, your mum decided that she'd please you by asking this supah hawt lifeguard to do a favor for her. She approached the tower, and looked up at the lifeguard.

"Hi, Mr. Lifeguard, sir. My daughter and her friend have been talking about how supah hawt you are for the past half hour. Could you please just lie down next to her on her towel so I can take a picture?"

The supah hawt lifeguard smiled a dazzling smile. "Sure, I'd love to!"

Your mother led him to their area they set up. You were lying down on your towel on your stomach with your head in your arms. Your eyes were closed and so you didn't see the supah hawt lifeguard lie down next to you.

"(Insert your sexy name here), look at me!" Your mum said, getting her camera ready. When you lifted your head, the supah hawt lifeguard put his arm around you and smiled as the camera flashed. You stared at the camera, dumbfounded. Had your mum really just done that to you?

"Great picture! Thanks, Alfred," Your mum said.

"No problem," he replied happily. Before standing, Alfred, the supah hawt lifeguard, kissed you on the cheek. He then left you, your mouth hanging open in a complete wimaot fashion. "See ya later, (insert your sexy name here)," Alfred chuckled.

Oh.

Oh.

You hoped and prayed you'd see him later.

In fact, you'd make sure you'd see him later.

"Wait!" You called in a voice that was higher than usual. Alfred spun around. The sight of this caused your newly repaired ovaries to explode once more.

"What is it?" Alfred asked.

"Can I… Er… Can I have your number?" You squeaked.

"Of course you can!" He walked back towards you with a grin plastered on his face. Your mum produced a piece of paper and pen, and handed it to the supah hawt lifeguard. He scribbled his name, number, and address on it before handing it back to you. You smiled, and returned the favor to him.

A/N: Hope you liked that mess…

Um yeah the word wimaot… its like an inside joke between HetaliaDerp and myself. so just go along with it, okay? Good.

Okay I think that's it… oh and we may do a sequel. Not sure yet. Alright, I think that's it, unless Darkz wants to add something else. Oh and up until the mother took the picture all after that is not real. It didn't happen.

Thanks for reading! It was fun to write on vacation, for we were bored. Really bored. By the way, it's rated M to be safe. –cough-sequel-cough- Welp, that's it. The sequel will most likely be short. Maybe shorter than this. Okay, buh-bye.

-Darkz (Luddy) and Feli