A Heroine's Resolution.

Chapter One.

The first day of July was warm and bright as I waited outside the manor house for the carriage to arrive. Anticipation had curled in my stomach, knotting and twisting until I had almost felt sick.

I had sent the letter, finally; and the response was almost immediate. Now, she was due to arrive any minute and all I could do was wait in silence.

Always in silence.

My entire life was silence.

Ever since that day almost two and a half months ago, I had not spoken a single word.

That horrid day when my world had come crashing down. The day that evil Faerie enchanter had cursed my family.

My seven siblings had been caught in his garden, trying to take a Rose for the annual competition, and he had bound them up and cursed them to be animals by daylight. And the only way to break this cruel curse was for me to remain silent for an entire year.

It had been difficult, so unbelievably hard. There were so many times I had opened my mouth to speak, but had to close it again straight away in case I accidentally let something slip. It frustrated me to no end. I was eagerly counting down the days until next springbloom, when I would finally be able to talk and cry and shout and scream.

However, not everything in my life was so terrible. Thanks to some very unlikely twist of fate, I had reunited with a young man I had met at a ball, all those years ago. And due to a very trying set of circumstances, we had married.

I was now married; I still couldn't quite believe it most of the time. I was the mistress of a grand manor house, I had wealth and freedom, and we were never going to starve again. It all seemed too good to be true.

A large hand gripped the top of my shoulder, and I turned to see the smiling face of my husband, James.

'Are they still not here yet?' He asked.

I shook my head.

'Good.' He said, leaning in to press a soft kiss to my lips, his hand moving to cup my head. I melted into the kiss, a large grin spreading over my face as he kissed me.

The distant sound of horses interrupted us.

'Of course, now they decided to show.' James grumbled, giving me a swift kiss on the top of my head.

I rolled my eyes at him. He was just ridiculous some times.

Things had definitely improved between us recently. Ever since he had fired the servants who had been tormenting me for the first month of my marriage, we had gotten closer and closer.

In fact, I now spent most nights in his bed.

After that one night where I'd had the most realistic nightmare and he had offered to stay with me, I found that the next night, I was unable to sleep.

I had tossed and turned for hours, but just couldn't find it in me to drift of. The night he had been there, and held me in his arms, I had slept almost instantly. So, I had plucked up the courage to knock on his door, and ask if I could share his bed. His answering smile had been all the agreement I had been looking for.

We hadn't done anything past sleeping. I still wasn't sure if I was ready for that. But it felt nice, to be held by someone as I drifted off. And waking up every morning to his sleeping form was rather lovely was well.

That had been almost a week ago, and now we seemed to have reached the unconscious decision that we spend the nights together. We hadn't told my family, mainly because I didn't want to have to answer too many questions, and also I wanted to avoid my brother Alexander's wrath.

Even though I knew that nothing had happened, Alexander tended to have a tendency to assume the worst when it came to James. He'd always been very protective of all of us, even though I was a year older than him. But in daylight, he was squirrel, so he couldn't do much.

The approaching carriage got closer and closer. James's hand moved downward from my neck to my waist, and he lifted his other hand to wave.

Before too long, the carriage had pulled to a stop in front of the manor, and the door swung open from the inside.

A young man with dark brown hair, almost jumped from the carriage.

'James!' He shouted, walking towards us. James let go of me to embrace his old friend.

'Christopher, it's good to see you.' James said, embracing him.

I walked past the two of them and to the open carriage door. There, just inside was a familiar face that made me smile.

'Hello Marion!' Said Ella, her only expression joyful.

I just waved, unable to speak back to her.

'Can you just take Jonathan for a moment?' She asked, indicating to the small child sat on her knee. A beautiful one-year old baby boy had happily on his mother's knee, blocking her ability to get up. I nodded, and she carefully lifted her son into my arms.

I smiled at him, as stared up at me from his large brown eyes. I held him on my hip, as he reached to tug my hair. I almost laughed pulled it gently, more curious about it than anything else.

'He does that with Jaqueline too. He must like long brown hair.' Ella said, stepping out of the carriage. She embraced me.

I really had missed her. She was one of my oldest friends, we had lived in the same house for years.

'I'm so sorry. I really am Marion. About all of this. We had no idea, none at all!' She said, pulling back from me.

I just gave her a sad smile, pulling Jonathan up so he was sitting more comfortably on my hip.

'How awful for you. So really can't speak, at all?' She asked.

I shook my head. Every moment of having to be silent was torture.

'Marion, Ella, are you coming inside?' James shouted from the top step.

I gestured for Ella to go inside with my head. She took Jonathan back off me and we both walked into the house. Christopher shouted something to the coachman to disappear for a few hours.

All five of us entered the house.

'I'm very offended that we weren't invited to your wedding!' Christopher said as we all stood in the entrance hall. 'After all, you both were invited to ours!'

'It was… a rather last minute thing.' James said, giving me a sideways glance. I smirked.

'So, who was your best man?' Christopher asked James. 'Don't say Antony or Philip were there.'

'I didn't have a best man, and Marion had no bridesmaids. I don't think they would have fit to be quite honest.' James said. 'And it wasn't exactly what you would call a traditional ceremony.'

I almost snorted at that. Memories of James arguing with the priest and ripping pages out of books came to mind.

'Oh, now you have to tell us the whole story.' Ella said.

I gestured to the green drawing room, where I'd had tea already prepared. We all made our way inside and Ella placed Jonathan down the floor carefully. He instantly started to crawl around, a happy smile on his face.

I took a seat on the armchair by the fire, next to the table with the tea service, and also many blank pages of paper. I figured earlier on in the day that I would probably need them. Ella and Christopher sat on the large sofa, Jonathan crawling on the floor between them, and James took the armchair across from me.

'So, come on.' Christopher said, glancing between the two of us. 'There must be a good story here.'

'Well, It's Marion's story really. I just stumbled into it by accident.' James said, giving me a small smirk. 'And really she should tell it, as she is far better at describing it than I ever could.'

I raised my eyebrow at him, and he smirked again.

'But, seeing as though she has a little trouble with speaking at the moment,' He said.' I suppose I'll have to do.'

I poured the tea for everyone as James began to relate my story to Ella and Christopher. He started with my father's death, and subsequent curse. Then he talked about how we ran to the forest and lived in the cottage. Then, the time he almost shot my sister.

He told them about the first few weeks of our meeting, and how we had grown closer until we began courting. He told them about my eviction from the cottage and how I had found him riding through the forest. He smiled as he talked about our wedding and the hiding of my family. His tale ended when he had fired the servants for tormenting me.

Ella just sat there with her mouth agape when she heard how they had treated me.

The tea was finished by the time James had stopped talking, and Ella and Christopher both sat there trying to take in what they had just heard.

Ella placed her hand gently on my knee.

'I'm so sorry Marion. If there is anything we can do, anything at all.'

I shook my head. I now had everything I could ever need, other than my ability to speak.

'So what of this Faerie. Has there been any effort to find him and get him to revoke the curse?' Christopher asked. James shook his head.

'No, we don't even know where to start looking. Marion hasn't seen or heard from him since that day.'

I subtlety bit the inside of my cheek. That wasn't entirely true.

That night that I'd had the nightmare, he had been there. He had spoken to me.

I knew that it was more than likely a dream, a figment of my imagination. Some unconscious part of me that had wanted him to apologise to me.

But there were far too many parts of that dream that didn't add up. I still had no idea who that red haired young man had been, and why I had seen myself smiling at him. I didn't know why I had been wearing that mysterious ring throughout the dream, instead of my wedding ring. And the faerie had said such things to me, thing that still didn't make any sense.

I hadn't told James about what had been in the dream. I knew he would dismiss it as just a nightmare, but I didn't think it was completely. I wasn't sure what it was, dream, or prophesy or memory. But I was almost certain that it wasn't just a figment of my imagination. I was sure there was something else to it.

'Well, maybe we can help there?' Christopher said. 'We have entire rooms filled with documents of history, maybe one of them could have some clue as to where to find faeries? Or maybe a way to break their curses?'

I smiled a little at him. I knew he was trying to help, but I also knew that it was a fool's hope. I highly doubted that there would be an easy answer to this, written down conveniently somewhere.

I gave him a gesture of my thanks. James translated my gestures for him.

But then, I picked up the quill that had sat on the table next to me and began to scribble.

The other three waited patiently for me to finish, and little Jonathan was still crawling around, giggling to himself.

I passed the paper to Ella, who took it graciously.

I wrote you a letter, when I was in the forest. Did you get it?

I watched as she read the words carefully. Then she took a deep breath and nodded.

My mouth fell open unconsciously.

She had known. She had known that I was in trouble and did nothing?

'Yes, I did get it, but I didn't read it until this week.' She said sadly.

I just stared at her. Why on earth had she not read my letter?

'I'm so sorry Marion. It's been sat there on my desk for so long. I meant to get up and read it, but…'

Ella looked to her husband. Christopher just took her hand gently and smiled.

'Ella has been rather ill for the past month.' Christopher told me.

My jaw dropped. But she looked so healthy, almost glowing.

'What was the matter?' James asked.

'I had…' Ella said, 'I had morning sickness.'

Oh.

That would explain it.

Ella beamed at me.

'I'm expecting again. There's going to be another little one.' She told me.

I found myself smiling before I could realise what was going on.

'Congratulations.' James told the two of them, also smiling.

'Thank you. But it meant that for the past month I've been on bed rest. There were some days I could hardly get out of bed. So, your letter arrived, and it got placed on the desk and only last week did I begin to go through the letters. Yours was the first I picked up, but by then, it was clearly too late.'

So that was why she hadn't come to help me. I knew I couldn't really blame her for being ill, that was hardly to be helped.

'I'm so sorry. I should have read it earlier. Will you ever forgive me?' She asked, her eyes pleading with me.

It wasn't her fault; she had been ill. And if the physicians ordered her on bedrest, then there wouldn't have been anything she could have done regardless.

I nodded. Of course I could forgive her, there was nothing to forgive.

'Oh, thank goodness. You have no idea how terrible I have felt.' She said. I just gave her a comforting smile. She really was an angel to think that she could have prevented this.

'So, when is the baby due?' James asked.

'Around late December, just after your birthday Marion.' Ella told us excitedly. 'Wouldn't it be strange if you shared a birthday!'

'Your birthday is in December?' James asked me. I just nodded at him.

Ella just looked between the two of us. 'You don't know when her birthday is?' She asked.

James looked surprised. 'No, I suppose I never thought to ask. As pointed out before, we haven't exactly had what you would call the most normal of marriages…'

It was true, we'd never actually discussed things like that, birthdays and favourite things and dislikes. We hadn't had much time to do any of that. Also, I couldn't speak so that conversation might have lasted a good long while.

I picked up the quill.

My birthday is the day after the winter solstice. When's yours?

I passed the paper to James, who took it quickly and gave me a small smirk.

'Actually, mine is next week.' He admitted.

I sat up in shock. He had never mentioned anything about his birthday being next week. Was I supposed to have known? Did I have to plan something?

Even Christopher nodded.

'But it's not just my birthday, it's also the anniversary of a special event, now I wonder what that could be Christopher?'

Christopher cheeks burned as everyone turned to look towards him. James just sat back with his usual smug expression on his face, as Ella looked at her husband in curiosity.

'Darling?' She asked.

His cheeks just went redder and redder.

I spied a look a James, and that was all the confirmation I needed that he was referring to that time he had told me about, where Christopher had gotten a little too drunk…

'At least there will be no repeat of that this year.' James said teasingly.

'What happened?' Ella asked, looking between all three of us.

'I'm not entirely sure.' Christopher admitted. 'I only know the tales I was told the next day.'

Unluckily at that moment, I spied little baby Jonathan pulling on a table cloth where a vase of flowers was precariously balanced on top of. I instantly stood up, and made for him, Ella crying out when she saw. I lifted up Jonathan before he could pull it off all the way, and out of danger. He just giggled happily to himself, kicking his arms and legs as I lifted him up to balance on my hip. His hands went to grab my hair again, utterly fascinated by it.

Ella was on her feet, breathing a sigh of relief that I had got him before anything too bad had happened.

'Oh thank goodness. Sorry, he does this. He's just learning how to walk, and he grabs whatever he can find to lift himself up.'

Jonathan just babbled happily, still pulling at my hair. I just smiled at him, and bounced him around a little bit on my hip. After growing up in a house with seven siblings, I was no stranger to looking after babies. But Jonathan was a particularly adorable one. He just seemed so happy all of the time.

'He's mischievous already?' Said James, looking towards the little one, 'No! I was supposed to teach him that! You're too advanced!'

Jonathan just gurgled. I looked between Jonathan and James, and noticed that James wasn't looking entirely at his godson, but rather at me holding him. The smug expression was gone, and what was left I didn't recognise. A small smile, wide eyes, as if longing.

But then Jonathan decided to try and eat my hair, and my focus returned to the baby in my arms. I gently pulled it out of his reach, and gave him a small tap on the nose as punishment. He clearly didn't see that it was, as he only laughed when I did it.

'Oh, look at the time. He'll be hungry. Can you show me to your kitchen?' Ella asked. 'It's been so long since I've had to prepare a meal, it will be just like back at the manor.'

I nodded, and passed Jonathan back to Ella, who cooed over him.

I led her out of the room and down the kitchen. It was now my domain, as there were no servants to cook and clean for us. But I liked it. It gave me a sense of purpose, and I actually enjoyed cooking. The cleaning, not so much.

Ella told me all the things she would need to make Jonathan's lunch, and I fetched them all for her.

'Look at us, right back where we started.' Ella said, placing Jonathan down in a small chair we had moved from the nursery upstairs.

I nodded, and reached for the slate that was kept in the kitchen. Last week, when I had taken over from Helen and Martha, James bought me another slate so I could continue to write things down.

It's like being back, but also really not.

'You're right there. Look at you, a lady!' Ella exclaimed.

I nodded. I still couldn't believe it sometimes. That I was married, and not only that, but I had a title.

'Who would have thought, back when we were sixteen, that in four years, we'd be here?'

I shook my head. So much had changed in four years. Both of us had been orphaned, and both had married the men we had danced with at the ball, but under very different circumstances. Ella was expecting her second child, and loved her husband dearly. I cared for James, very deeply, but I wasn't ready to call it love. And I had also had to deal with curses and evil Faeries. We had very different situations.

But I didn't write that. Instead I wrote about how she was so lucky, how we were both so lucky.

Ella just nodded, and asked for my help in peeling the carrots.

And so we worked, side by side. Something that we hadn't done since before Sir Henry married Lady Evil, when Ella had been allowed to help us in the kitchen, before I had been very unfairly fired.

But, none of that mattered. We'd both come a long way since then.

The minutes passed, and Ella talked to me about not much in particular, just about the usual people and how they were doing. Jaqueline was still living with them, but was currently visiting her father's relatives, who she had only recently been in correspondence with. Ella hadn't heard anything from her stepmother, or stepsister, although Jaqueline had heard that Anna had got married, not that she had been invited. Ella told me about her social engagements, and her charity work to help feed the poor after the harsh winter. I had been so grateful to her when she had given my family regular packages of money, it had seen us through those initial months, as well as Alexander's poaching.

I had missed her, I really had. I missed her loving and calm manner, how she was always honest and forgiving. She seemed to have become more so with her son, who she would fuss over whenever he made any sort of noise. It was so lovely to see her and her son, how much she loved him.

But before too long, we had finished making Jonathan's lunch and I picked up the tray of sandwiches I had prepared earlier in the day for our lunch. We went back upstairs to find James and Christopher in deep conversation, mainly about how James should never bring up what happened when Christopher had gotten too drunk again.

Both of them looked up and smile when we entered, Christopher offering to take Jonathan for a little while.

We sat and ate, and those three discussed things, like old friends were meant to.

And I was silent. As usual. I knew that they hadn't meant to exclude me, but that was the fact of my life now. I was excluded, from every conversation. I couldn't speak, or join in, or voice my opinion or anything.

Just nine and a half months more of silence.

I listened, and James kept trying to direct questions towards me, but it took so long for me to write the answers that the conversation had generally moved on by the time I had finished.

It was infuriating, but I knew that it wasn't their fault. Christopher of course would want to talk to his old friend, and Ella had become good friends with James while he was staying in the palace with them.

So eventually, I was given charge of baby Jonathan who sat on my knee. He was starting to doze off, and I held him as his little head leaned on my arm. He looked so peaceful and adorable. It almost made me want to imagine being a mother. But not yet. I didn't want to be a mother yet. I wasn't ready for that.

I just rocked him back and forth, unable to sing him a lullaby or coo over him. I just silently held him.

The hours passed, and eventually, the coachman arrived to take the Howard's family back home. I was about to hand Jonathan back to his father, but James came up to me, and complained that he hadn't seen his godson yet. I passed the sleeping child over to him, James' hands brushing my arm as he took the small boy. He began whispering all sorts of things to him, most of them about how to cause the most trouble for his parents. I almost laughed at some of the absurd things he was saying. But James only smiled at me and said.

'I'm his godfather, someone has to teach him how to misbehave! That's my job.'

I only rolled my eyes at my husband, and he went back to telling the baby how to cause havoc. But I could tell that he really did care for his godson. It was just the way he was looking at him. He loved the tiny little boy.

Ella and Christopher began to talk to me. Christopher had promised to find something on the Fae, and to see if there was anything he could do to try and get the curse lifted. He had told me earlier that maybe I could look through some of the books in the library and see if there was anything I could learn. It was most likely a fool's errand, but I had to try.

James eventually gave Jonathan back to his parents, and we watched as the three of them climbed back into the carriage and waved out of the window. Both of us waved back as the carriage took off and before too long, they disappeared out of sight.

I lent my head on James's shoulder as we watched them go.

'Now, where were we, before they arrived?' James teased, his arm snaking down my back and he pulled me in at my waist.

I pretended to think about it for a moment, and James huffed a laugh, before leaning down to kiss me sweetly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in tighter to me. My lips moved over his, and he groaned as he deepened the kiss.

Then he suddenly pulled back and gave me a smug smile.

'No, you're right, I can't remember either.' He teased.

I wasted no time in pulling his face back down to mine so he could kiss me again. He pressed his lips firmly to mine, and kissed me fiercely.

And I knew in that moment, that things weren't perfect. They were never going to be. But I was happy, with him.

And that was all I really needed to be.