GUESS WHO'S BACK! Completely different fandom, completely different ship. This is my first Linstead fic so.. enjoy.
P.S LINSTEAD IS LIFE.
xoxo
Mornings. No one likes them. Especially not in their line of work when their mornings usually start at 6am, and that's on a good day. That's why when she feels her boyfriend gently shaking her awake on the first day of their long weekend off, she's already pissed. Intelligence had been so busy recently with case after case, day after day, working weekends had slowly become a normal thing for the unit. They are a specialized unit after all. Voight had noticed how run down and exhausted his entire unit was becoming so decided to shut down Intelligence for a few days, giving his employees 4 days off to rest and recuperate.
"Babe," Jay whispered as he shook her shoulder as she lay on her stomach with both arms stretched under her pillow, "You need to wake up soon so we can hit the road and beat all the traffic" shaking her shoulder again and placing a kiss on her head as he sat on the bed beside her.
"Mmm.. Jay" she moaned in her tired, groggy voice wondering why she ever agreed to his plan of spending their days off up north. Northern Wisconsin to be precise. "One more hour, please" she begged as a yawn escaped her, "I'm so tired"
"No, we need to get going, come on Erin, get up, please" he begged and whined and continued to shake her awake. He slowly started to pull the covers off of her body, letting the chill of the Chicago air force her to wake up.
"I forgot I was dating a 13 year old," she huffed, clearly not amused. It was their day off and all she wanted to do was sleep. Not drive for a minimum of 6 hours to spend the weekend surrounded by bugs in a cabin. At first she found Jays excitement cute, she loved how enthusiastic about Wisconsin he was and truthfully that's the only reason she agreed to go. If he were happy, she would be happy. But right now, at 7am, she was annoyed, at herself for agreeing and at him for waking her so early.
"Great, you're gonna be a in pissy mood all day" Jay mumbled beneath his breath but with the small proximity between them she obviously heard, narrowing her eyes at him. He chose to ignore her impending gaze and stood from the bed. "We are leaving in one hour!" he called as he left her bedroom, leaving her to get ready.
Jay stood in the kitchen drinking his second cup of coffee whilst checking the weather report and traffic reports on his phone, hoping nothing would get in the way of their journey. Rainy skies through the whole of Illinois but clear skies across the whole of Northern Wisconsin, he could deal with that. If it was cold in Wisconsin when they got there, he knew he'd be in for a weekend of moaning from Erin, and that he did not have the energy for. As he stood chewing on a slice of toast he noticed her emerge from the bedroom. Her dark blonde hair down in its natural curl, her make up at a minimal, as usual, one of her 100 pairs of jeans hugging her curves and a navy tank top covered by his black hoodie. God, I love it when she wears that.
"What?" she questioned, noticing him staring at her with his eyebrow raised. She dropped her duffle bag by the couch, which was all packed up and ready for their weekend away. "If I have to be in the car for hours, I want to be comfortable" she answered her own question, knowing he was going to give her a sarcastic comment about wearing his hoodie. He always did.
"Its fine, Erin. If you really don't want to go, we don't have to?" it killed him to say it, he was so excited to show her something that was such a big part of his life growing up, but keeping her happy was more important. He knew he would be able to get her there at some other point anyway and right now he just didn't want to argue. She had been so hot and cold lately.
"No, its fine, we're up and ready to go, so we may as well.." she said walking closer to him and wrapping an arm around his waist, stealing the slice of toast from his hand and taking a bite before handing it back to him, "and I'm sorry for being so grumpy earlier."
"Baby, its okay" he held her closer and dropped a kiss to her hair "eat some breakfast then we can leave" he said, nodding towards to plate of bacon and scrambled eggs she had only just noticed waiting for her on the counter. This man is perfect.
8 and a half hours later, they finally arrived at Joshua James Lake. One Erin Lindsay, pissed off it had taken them 8 and a half hours to get there, he promised her it would take 6, 6 and a half tops. One Jay Halstead, pissed off that his girlfriend insisted on stopping every other hour to pee because she "likes drinking lots of coffee and water throughout the day" and then she needed road snacks, and then they had to stop for dinner, knowing they had no food or groceries in the cabin. He'd sort that out in the morning.
As they pulled up outside the cabin, Erin's jaw dropped. This was not what she was expecting. "Jay, you said it was a cabin, not a lake house! A lake-freaking-mansion!" she was in awe at the size of it. She thought it would be a little wooden cabin, nothing special, something old and warn out. She remembered him telling her about it being built in the 1920's and this place looked like it was brand new. He smirked at her reaction, maybe he hadn't told her the entire truth.
"It is a cabin, it still has all the original wooden foundations, but as my granddad and then my dad got richer, so did their taste in décor and style. It's had quite a few additions built on it over time. Come on, lets go inside" he proceeded to get out of the drivers seat, one of the only times she had ever let him drive, and collected their bags.
"I can carry my own, you know," she mumbled as she followed him up the steps to the front door. A large glazed wooden door with a big circle window in the middle.
"I know you are more than capable of carrying your own duffle bag, but I am your boyfriend so you shouldn't have to carry it" he sighed, all day she had been making remarks and dampening the mood. Erin Lindsay was the most stubborn person he knew. He put the key in the door and after 2 twists to the right they heard it click and he pushed the door open. He quickly walked over to the right of the door and punched in a code to turn the alarm system off. "Mom was always paranoid about this place, so it has a fancy alarm system" he explained his fast actions to settle her confused face. "So this is it" he stretched his arms open and wide showing her the grand foyer. A large family room off to the left, a large kitchen/diner to the right, large central staircase in the middle and you could vaguely see a games room in the back. As Erin's eyes looked around, she let out a low whistle, he was right. It did still have the original wooden foundations, but with large glass windows and stone being used for the extension, the cabin was bright and nothing like the dark, small log cabin she was expecting.
"Its beautiful, Jay" she turned to him, saying what seemed to be like her first positive comment of the whole day, "I can see why you like it here so much" he couldn't hide his smile, glad she finally approved. He showed her around the downstairs of the house, the kitchen/diner was all open plan and looked like it was perfect for parties. Jay had told her about how Will used to bring his friends up here during summer for a week of partying, something he would never approve of. This place meant too much to his family, his mom in particular; to let some college kids risk ruining it. Golden Boy aka the son, who was to become a surgeon, was allowed to do anything he pleased in the eye of Dr Halstead, Jay's father. He showed her the room which they had named the family room many years ago, which consisted of lots of couches, a large TV, a shelf full of board games, scrabble being one of them, a chess table, and in the corner by a large bay window looking out to the lake stood a black grand piano.
"Can you play?" Erin asked, her thumb pointing towards the piano with an eyebrow raised, Jay had never mentioned it.
"Not as well as Katie, my sister, she loved to play. It was hers and my moms thing," he said with a said smile. She knew his mom had passed a few years back. The lake house was her favorite place.
"Come on, there's more" he said clearing his throat as he picked up both of their duffle bags, throwing them over his right shoulder and taking her hand in his left. He guided her up the stairs and pointed to three guest bedrooms, which were his own, his brother Will's and his sister Katies from when they were children. They will be our kids bedrooms, one day he thought to himself. Then he guided her into the master bedroom, which she was certain was bigger than her entire apartment. She had never seen a bed so big with such plushy cushions and an en-suite bathroom so grand, the things they could do at this place. The bedroom was bright due to the large windows that lead to a balcony over looking the lake, even though the sun was starting to set.
"Jay" was all she managed to gasp out as she took in her surroundings. How did she get so lucky? The place her man has brought her to for their weekend of rest and relaxation was absolutely gorgeous, perfect in fact. Just what she needed. And she had moaned and bitched all day long. He pulled her into his embrace knowing she was at a loss for words but he could practically see the cogs turning in her head.
"Its been a long day, why don't you unpack some stuff and get ready for bed, I need to go and check that everywhere downstairs is locked up" he held her close for a moment longer and felt her nod against his chest. "I'll be back up soon," he said before placing one final kiss on her forehead and turning to head back downstairs.
When he returned 15 minutes later with a glass of water in each hand, he saw his girl dressed in one of his t-shirt and her pajamas shorts, stood outside on the balcony. He didn't remember packing that t-shirt; she must have packed it herself. She always did like wearing his shirts to sleep in; she had most nights for the few months they'd been dating. The smell of him and the warmth they provided were something she'd hate to sleep without now. He placed one glass on his bedside table and one glass on hers before walking outside to her. Lost in her own thoughts she didn't even notice his presence until he snaked his arms around her slender frame from behind. She jumped slightly and her body tensed, but then quickly relaxed as she realized it was him and she melted into his embrace.
"I'm sorry" he chuckled at her reaction "I didn't mean to make you jump" resting his chin on her shoulder.
"Do you always sneak up on people, Halstead? Seriously, I didn't even hear you coming" she moved her own hands to rest on his, gently stroking up and down his arms.
"I was in the Army babe, its one of my many skills"
She wanted to reply with a sarcastic comment, but honestly she was just too tired for their witty banter tonight, as much as she did love it. For once, she just wanted to enjoy a calm, quiet moment with him. As she stood looking out over the waters she could imagine their children playing in that lake, Jay teaching them how to dive off the wooden deck and teaching them how to fish off the end of the pier. She could imagine them playing on the tire swing, which was currently broken but knowing Jay, it wouldn't be broken for long. Erin Lindsay was imagining her future with this man, something she had never done with anyone before. Is this what love feels like? She was sure it was. They hadn't said it yet, but she was almost certain that's exactly how she felt. The ache inside her heart, the butterflies she still gets in her stomach when he smirks that grin of his, the way that he is completely unaware of the affect he has on her, and the way he is completely unaware of how different her life is because of him. Jay Halstead has made her believe in herself, believe in love and in the future. But was she ready to tell him? Just do it.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, watching the sky, which was a deep shade of orange slowly turn blue, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I've been so moody to you all day, all week even and you don't deserve it. I'm just.. 'I'm sorry" she continued to whisper in her raspy voice as she turned around in this embrace, not letting his arms fall from around her. Why is my throat so dry? I am not going to cry over this.. am I?
"Baby, it really is okay" one of his hands moved to cup her cheek, making her look directly at him. Are her eyes always this beautiful? "I know you're exhausted from work, I am too. And we've had such a rough couple of months; we're all tired and stressed out. Now can we please try and relax and enjoy our weekend away" he finished with a gentle kiss to her lips, the first one of the day. She'd been too moody for him to even attempt to give her a real kiss earlier on in the day.
I do not deserve this man, he is simply perfect she thought to herself as he slowly released her lips, his hand travelling back from her cheek down to rest at her waist again. "I love you," she whispered as she opened her eyes before her brain at time to catch up with her heart and she instantly felt her cheeks start to turn a shade of pink. Did I just say that out loud? That smile of his that makes my knees go weak clearly proves that I did, in fact, say that out loud.
"I love you too, Erin," he whispered back, feeling her breathe a sigh of relief against his chest as he leant down to kiss her one more time with a little more force than their last. A slight chuckle escaped him because he knows she shocked herself by saying it. Dammit, I wanted to say it first. "How about we go to bed, have an early night and then tomorrow you won't be so grumpy?" hopefully.
"Shut up, Halstead" she gently punched his shoulder, loving how they can go from arguing, to loving, to teasing all within a few moments. "I like that plan" and within minutes she is in bed, the bed she has been craving to get in from the second her eyes landed on it. Her head on his chest, the sound of his soft breaths slowly lulling her into a much needed slumber.
Waking up to the bright sunlight beaming through the windows, Erin let out a low grumble. Why must this beautiful house have so many windows? She really couldn't complain though, for the first time in months she actually felt completely refreshed. She spread a hand out to Jay's side of the bed finding it empty and cold, letting her know that he had been out of bed for quite some time. After stretching her legs out and her arms above her, Erin wiped the sleep from her eyes and slowly got out of bed. She instantly walked over to the balcony to open the doors, for a brief moment of fresh air. The air in Wisconsin is so much cleaner and fresher than the air back in Chicago. I could get used to this she thought with a deep breath, before closing the doors once more and leaving the bedroom to search for her man.
Walking down the stairs and turning left she found Jay dressed in a pair a shorts, a V-neck t-shirt at a baseball cap place backwards on his head. He was surrounded by grocery bags and was carefully placing items in cupboards and the fridge. How long has he been up for?
"Morning, sleepyhead," he smiled when he noticed her enter the kitchen. "I've stocked us up on enough food to feed our entire district," he gestured to the mountain of food he had bought that morning. "Coffee?" he asked, handing her a small mug of her favourite drink, which she happily accepted.
"Why didn't you wake me? It must be like what, 10 oclock?" she asked even though she knew full well why he didn't wake her up. Taking a sip of the delicious brew that he knew how to make exactly to her liking. Black with just the right amount of sugar.
"You needed sleep, babe. And its actually almost 11." He noticed her shocked expression right away. As much as she hated early mornings, she hated wasting the day even more. "Before you argue with me on this, you needed sleep, baby. You needed some rest and that is exactly why we are here, okay?"
"Thank you," she truly meant it. He knew her so well. "And I'm in a much better mood than yesterday"
"Thank God!" he explaimed with a joking sigh. "You know, yesterday was the first day in about 7 weeks that we didn't have sex!" he said as he removed the baseball cap and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it over slightly.
"What are you talking about?" she asked boys actually count? Gross.
"Yeah. I mean, I know we've been tired a lot recently but we still made time for ourselves, whether it was a morning wake up call, an afternoon quickie, just before bed, or you waking me up in the night because you felt like it! It still happened!" he laughed. Did she really not know they did it that often? "And yes, men do count" he smirked as if he could read her mind in that moment.
"Shit" she whispered and put her coffee down on the counter. Jay quickly took advantage of her distraction and pulled her in close to him.
"Don't worry though, we can make up for it today." He pressed a hot open mouth kiss to her neck; glad she was finally in a good mood. Yesterday was painful at times.
Reluctantly she pulled herself out of his embrace and put some distance between them, "I'm actually going to go for a quick run around the lake first if you don't mind? Not all of us got to spend our childhood here, you know" she winked at him hoping he would be okay with it.
"Of course, babe. I'll fix that tire swing whilst you're gone." She smiled to herself as she went to change; she knew it wouldn't take long for his OCD self to fix it, or for his inner 14 year old to want to play on it.
"Oh and Erin?" he called after her when she returned after changing into her running gear, slightly curious as to why she even brought gym wear to the lake, they were supposed to be relaxing. He didn't think much in to it anyway. She liked to run. End of. She raised her eyebrows at him to let him know he had her full attention. "Be careful, I love you."
"I will, I love you too" God I love saying that.
2 hours later when Erin returned, small brown paper bag in hand, she noticed Jay fixing a wooden plank on the decking. Nail and hammer in hand. Is there anything my man can't do? She quickly snuck into the house and up into the bedroom, locking the door behind her as she hid the brown paper bag at the bottom of her duffle bag. No no no please god no. After a quick shower and getting dressed into some denim shorts and a tank top she glanced down from the balcony, noticing that Jay was no longer outside. She could faintly here some classical music in the distance and it took her a moment to realize it was Jay, playing that gorgeous grand piano downstairs. She could listen to that all day. After an inner battle with herself, she walked over to her duffle bag to retrieve the brown paper bag, the thing that had played on her mind for the last few hours. 7 weeks. Surely not? I mean, its not possible. She emptied the bags contents into her hand and pulled the white plastic from the white cardboard box. 3 minutes, the box read. 3 minutes to determine my future, great. Heading back to the bathroom, her stomach felt tight and she felt a little woozy because of what her brain was telling her. She had thought so much in the last couple of hours and really, she was just about to confirm what she already knew. Shit.
Erin tiptoed down the stairs and followed the beautiful sound her boyfriend was creating in the family room. When he said he couldn't play well, my god was that an understatement. Again, is there anything he cant do. Clearly not. She carefully and quietly crept around Jay who was sat at the piano bench, fingers working magic. She didn't want to disturb him and she definitely didn't want him to stop playing. This gives me more time she thought to herself. She sat beside him and rested her head against his shoulder as he continued to freely play a tune she had never heard before, but loved it anyway. After a while of him playing, the need to hold his girl become all to much, so he slowly finished the song and turned to face her, resting his hands on her hips as she close to him.
"How was your run?" He asked, "Did you see the swing? I also fixed a busted part of the deck and got a splinter," he held up his right index finger and pouted. He is so adorable.
She could see the very tiny cut on his finger and leaned in to kiss it, "poor baby" she teased before realizing what she said. Her face instantly dropped and she inwardly sighed.
"Its okay, I'm just as good with my left hand" he smirked, God that face he pulls, he needs to stop that she thought as she bit her lip, hard. "Er, are you okay?" he asked, noticing her sudden change in mood. He thought today was going to be a good day.
"Umm, I don't know.." she started, she didn't know how to have this conversation. His reaction terrified her. Heck, what she had to say to him scared her shitless. This really could make or break them.
"Erin?" he asked as a hand cupped her cheek, his eyes full of concern, "you're worrying me. Whatever it is you can tell me. You know I love you." He really did. He would've told her that months ago if he didn't think she'd run for the hills.
Her hand held on to his just like it had so many times before as she leaned her face into his palm. How could such a small gesture offer her all the support she needed. She laced her fingers in his and pulled his hand down from her face, leaving them resting on his lap. "Earlier, you said something.."
"What was it babe, if I've upset you I'm really sorry, please just tell me what it is?" he rushed to say, by the look in her eyes he knew she was worried and that only made him worry even more.
"7 weeks, Jay. Its not possible." She stated, hoping he would click on.
"Erin, what are you talking about?" worried, frustrated, he didn't know what he felt. More the former, but still. He stood from the piano bench, pulling her up with him in the process and guiding her over to the couch. As they sat down he was reminded of just how comfortable that old couch was. Much of his childhood was spent on that couch watching movies with his mother and siblings, which usually lead to a mid afternoon nap.
As Erin was about to start explaining, a large rectangular box on the coffee table in front of them took her attention away from Jay. "What's that?" she asked, nodding towards the box, buying herself just a little more time. Keep him distracted.
"Just a box of old home videos. I found it whilst looking for supplies earlier on. I thought maybe we could watch some later." He noticed her nod, taking in what he was saying as if it was so important. It really wasn't. "Stop stalling, Erin Lindsay. Talk to me." And just like that his eyes were back on hers, waiting for an explanation.
"Jay," she sighed for what felt like the thousandth time. "You said earlier that we've had sex every day for the past 7 weeks." Why wasn't he getting it? He's actually gonna make me say it. "Babe, its physically not possible for me to do that. I am a girl, you know"
"I am more than aware, babe" he smiled as he leaned in to kiss her; still curious as to where she was taking this. "Trust me, I know."
"For a detective, you're extremely slow, Halstead." She said bluntly, eyebrows furrowed. Why don't you understand she felt like shouting.
"Okay, I'm sorry, just tell me what it is, baby?" and bang goes the dynamite. Oh shit. "Oh!" he sucked in a deep breath, gripping her hands tight to reassure her that he was still there. He might appear to be out of it, lost in thought, but he is still there. "You mean, you're…. we're..?" he chocked to say. Shocked, surprised, angry, excited. For the first time in forever, she couldn't read his expression. The partners could always read each other; it was part of their job. They always knew what the other was thinking, but right now, she was absolutely clueless.
"Yes, Jay" she whispered so quietly, trying with all her might not to cry. Erin Lindsay does not cry. "I'm pregnant" and boy was she terrified. She didn't know how he felt about this. She couldn't do it alone. She needed him more than ever. She hadn't even realized that the tears had started to fall until she felt the pads of his thumbs brushing the dampness away from her cheeks.
"Don't cry, baby. This is good news! We're having a baby!" and with that his lips were on hers, waiting for hers to move along with his, and sure enough they did. "Are you sure?" he asked with a hand placed on her still flat and very toned stomach.
"When I went for a run, it was to go to the store. I saw that we passed one about a mile or two away from here on the drive up. So I went to get a test earlier, and I did it and it was positive" she sniffled in, taking a deep breath. "I mean, I know its only early days, but it does explain why I've been so moody recently, and… and I can just tell, you know?" he nodded agreeing with her but wishing she had let him drive her to the store instead, he understood why she did it though.
"I'm going to be a father?" he asked but it was more of a statement. One hand on her stomach, the other holding her face as she nodded again. "I love you so much" he whispered before pulling her face to his once more, needing to kiss her again, tasting the salty tears that had fallen down her face. Pulling away, he opened his arms and let her cuddle into his embrace. If its one thing he knew about Erin, its that she thinks. And she thinks a lot. Right now he was happy to just relax into the couch, his girl resting on his chest, and let her do all the thinking she needs. And he'd be there for her when she wanted to talk.
Hours could've passed, he wasn't entirely sure. Truth be told, he thought she had fallen asleep against his chest, maybe he had fallen asleep at some point too. But the growing damp patch on his shirt alerted him that she was very much awake. Why didn't I notice sooner? He cursed himself.
"Erin, what's wrong? He asked for the millionth time that day, gently rubbing a hand up and down her back as she lay against him. "Why are you crying?" he knew she would be thinking about everything and anything, but his girl doesn't cry often.
"Its silly, really." She waved him off, not moving from her position on him. He knew he would get a similar response.
"No its not, something is clearly bothering you." He said as he pushed her off of his chest with both of his hands, wanting to look at her face. He quickly wiped her tears away just as he had done earlier on.
"How am I supposed to be a mother, Jay?" she asked and it broke his heart. "I didn't have a very good one growing up, I was a street kid, you know? Junkie for a mom and prisoner for a dad. I don't know how to do this. I don't want to be a bad mom for our baby, but I don't even know how to be a good one. I didn't have a childhood like you, you have a summer house and home videos and great memories of growing up. I don't have any of that." He held her as she spoke and he understood every word. He knew about her past, he was one of the few people who did. He hated it, he wished he could take the pain away from her and he wished her childhood were more like his.
"Erin, listen to me okay?" his hand was back on her face making her look at him, his eyes so soft and gentle she was sure she would get lost in them. "You're going to be the best mom. Don't you ever doubt yourself. Growing up with bad parents sucks, but you know exactly what not to do. I've never met someone as loving and as caring as you, especially when it comes to children. We see so many children in our line of work and you are always amazing with them. You're a natural. And you're not alone in this, I don't know how to be a dad either. We'll get through this together. I'll always have your back."
Review.
Shall I continue?