The ticking in the room began to make me nervous. I tapped my fingers softly against the wooden desk, watching the door across my office. It was as still as my cold heart. I shivered and spun around in my chair, looking out the window. Snow. It was snowing. God how I hated the snow. Why did it have to get so cold? Why couldn't it always be warm? Why couldn't sunflowers be planted outside of my house? My sunflower I keep in my office is barely surviving the cold temperatures. The Baltic's don't mind the cold weather, but if I try to warm it up, they begin sweating.
Of course, this doesn't bother me, but I simply hate sweat on everything they touch. It's disgusting. Maybe that's why I won't even take my coat and scarf off anymore. It's so cold…
Another shiver ran down my spine. I closed my eyes, seeing nothing but darkness. Darkness. I liked it. It didn't show me the cold. It wouldn't ever show me General Winter. I could've simply sat there with my eyes closed forever, but I knew it could never last forever. That's why I must bring the darkness to me. Darkness is to become one with me, da?
A knock broke me out of my thoughts.
"Enter," I simply said, not even turning my attention to any nation that stepped through.
"M-Mr. Russia, I brought you s-some tea…" Ah, Lithuania.
"Take it back. I won't need it," I mumbled. A moment later, I heard a plate be placed on my desk.
"M-Mr. Russia, are you o-okay? Y-You seem a little… off…" Toris's voice came soft and sweet. I smiled to myself and slowly spun back in my seat to him. He began to shake, eyeing my smile.
"Darkness wants to become one with me, da?" I said. He gave me a puzzled look.
"Darkness…? Are you t-tired?" He asked. I laughed a child's laugh to myself, taking a key out of my pocket.
"Silly Lithuania, the darkness that will shield me from the cold." I giggled, taking a rusty key out and unlocking a shelf in my desk. Without even looking at the small nation, I knew he understood nothing I said. Another giggle escaped my lips as I opened the shelf and the beautiful friend sat there, dirty and abused, but still shined with some dignity.
"I-I'm sorry s-sir, but I-I don't understand…" Toris's voice trailed off.
"Of course you wouldn't. Come outside with me, da?" I slipped the beautiful instrument into my coat pocket without the silly nation spotting it and stood up. Lithuania nodded quickly, looking nervous as ever. This amused me so much, but I resisted playing with him and lead him out into the hallway. We stood side by side. I would miss this. My favorite nation to play with. Which reminds me, where is the small nation?
"Where is Latvia?" I asked. In the corner of my eye, Lithuania looked as though he were panicking.
"Ah, uh, well, I think he's, er, with Estonia in the kitchen…" Ah, we're headed that way anyway. I turned a corner, and almost laughed when I glanced over to see Toris trying to catch up. I don't walk fast, do I? Of course not. He's just slow. Silly, slow Lithuania.
When I entered the kitchen, the first to notice was the funniest little country in the house.
"A-Ah R-Russia-san!" Latvia stuttered, jumping up from his seat and smiling nervously. I walked up to him and put a hand on his head, feeling how shaky he was just from my touch. It almost warmed my heart to see how nervous he got around me. I giggled.
"Latvia, I'm going to be leaving. You'll keep all my things in order, da?"
"W-Where are y-you g-going, R-Russia? A-Are you g-going to g-get d-drunk a-again at F-France's b-bar? L-Last t-time you g-got drunk there s-so b-bad I-I thought e-everybody w-would call you d-drunkard or d-drunkie o-or s-something…"
"Latvia!" Both Lithuania and Estonia cried out. I just smiled, pressing my hand hard against his head. If I could, I would squash him right there, but of course, bodies aren't meant for that. Even France told me once. Bodies, both male and female, were… something about being beautiful… er…
"I-I think I hear someone at the door! Let me go get it!" Estonia said, already running out of the room. I caught him easily by the arm and pulled him back into the room with ease, seeing his face frighten for a moment.
"I will miss you, Estonia." I said in a simple way, seeing his confused eyes, and let him go. All three countries stared at me as though I were crazy. I am crazy, da? I know I am, and I don't feel any different than when I was a child.
Of course, when I was a child…
Almost instantly I shook my head. "Come Lithuania," I said and headed off into the backdoor. A moment later the brunette came out of the house and ran to catch up, for I was already half-way through my large backyard. Snow ate up my boots and I could feel little drops of snowflakes land in my head. A frown came on my face.
When I stopped, far from the house, Toris stood behind me, and without looking I could tell he was nervous and cold.
"S-Sir, what are we doing out here?" He asked. I spun around to him and trudged towards him. He must have thought I would something bad because he began backing away, but I was too fast. I captured him into my arms and gave him a hug.
"M-Mr. Russia…" Toris started, and I swear I could feel his heart pounding hard against his chest.
"Ah, Lithuania, I will miss you the most." I murmured. What is that irritating wetness in my eye? It angered me a little. What the hell is dripping from my eye down my face?
"M-Mr. Russia," I felt the smaller nation struggle, and reluctantly I let him loose. Just a little. He studied my face, and looked surprised. What was he so surprised about?
"Sir…" Toris whispered, wiping the wet drop off of my cheek. I grimaced and touched my own cheek, and almost began frightened. I was… crying? No, I'm not crying! It must be a mistake. I don't cry, da.
Before Lithuania could react, I was already steps away from him, searching my pocket for my beautiful friend. He stared at me. I stared back.
Finally, I pulled it out. It shined in the snow, making me wish this could go faster.
"Russia!" Toris cried, staring at the item in my hand. I put it to my head. His eyes widen with frantic. "Russia, what are you doing?" He cried again.
"Darkness becomes one with me, da?" I said, smiling and laughing, yet I could feel one of those damned tears running down my face.
"R-Russia-san, this—this isn't the answer!" Lithuania said, almost yelling. Suddenly I dreaded taking this silly, naïve nation out with me, but what's done is done.
I pressed my finger teasingly against the trigger, not hard enough for it to blow, but enough to see Lithuania gasp and cover his mouth, watching me with scared eyes.
"Be good, my silly little nation," I said, closed eyes, and welcomed the darkness.