I'd like to think this will go somewhere. Maybe, maybe not. I started writing this a while back just for kicks. I found it again recently in one of those suprising amuzing and yet incredibly lame moments when I look back upon my old work and think, " Oh my god! I'm Hilarious" and immediately regret it a few seconds later.
Well, enjoy it. Or not.
It had been a long hard day.
Lerdavian had traveled all day, walking on the only lonely road that seemed to lead anywhere. She had made it to a hot spring inn that had happened to run a special that day. She naturally took advantage of it and got a room.
„..ahhh.." she exhaled as she sunk deeper into the deliciously hot water which sent shivers up her spine. The water felt so good on her tired muscles she felt like she was going to melt .
Then she heard yelling coming from the other side of the fence that divided the hot-springs.
"DAMMIT TOBI GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"
There was a large splashing noise which was preceded by a large whacking noise.
"..but Tobi can't swim! HELP SENPAIII!SENPAII!"
"I'm not getting near that uhn.."said another voice.
"SENPAII!AHHH!". There was another large splashing sound and then gurgling noises. The slightly confused expression on Ler's face was slowly changing as a rather large vein began to make its appearance on her forehead.
"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DAMNED BRAT!"
"AHH! HIDAN'S TRYING TO DROWN POOR TOB...*gurgle**gurgle*SPLASH* Then there was the sound of wet footsteps on concrete.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIII..AHH FUCK!" There was a large thud and then a crack.
"DAMMIT KAKUZU WHAT THE FUCK!"
"Don't cause such a ruckus Hidan, I was only just able to get us a real bargain on the rooms and I don't need us getting kicked out.." growled another low voice.
"FUCK YOU KAKUZU! I DO WHATEVER THE HELL I..."
"CAN WHOEVER IS ON THE OTHERSIDE OF THIS GODAMNED FENCE SHUT THE HELL UP!" Screamed Ler finally losing her temper.
"WELL WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE AND MAKE ME BITCH!"the annoying voice shouted back.
That's it. Lerthought to herself rising from the water just then casting a quick glance towards a woman with blue hair on the other side of the hot spring.
Hidan leaned against the edge of the pool and smirked after a long pause of silence from the other side of the fence.
"That's what I thought bi...", he was interrupted as a figure dive tackled him from the fence.
"DIE YOU SON OF A ..." Ler's rather obscene comment was cut off as she hit the water, effectively pouncing on the silver-haired ass-wipe. What? She thought it first. You were probably thinking it too!What? There was a large splash and not to mention looks of confusion on the faces of the other guys in the pool.
"YOU CRAZY BITCH GET THE FUCK OFF!" Hidan yelled attempting to flail his arms and somehow throw her off.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Fumed Ler. She was behind him and was attempting to choke him.
Itachi sweat dropped and quietly left the pool unnoticed.
"..Ummm..girl ..that won't work cuz he's immortal...yeah." said a voice to Ler's right.
Hidan was still flailing about and Ler was still frantically trying to choke him.
She looked up momentarily and saw a person with blond hair that parted over one eye. She was dumbfounded for a second realizing he wasn't turning blue at all.
"FUCKING PSYCHOTIC WHORE! I'M GOING TO..."
Then she gripped Hidan harder (not letting go of her vicious choke) and began shaking him more vigorously (who knew it was possible?).
"FUCK YOUR IMMORTALITY!" screamed Ler who had begun to beat Hidans head on the rocks on the side of the pool.
"DAMMIT BITCH THAT FUCKING HURTS! SHIT!" shouted Hidan angrily as his head was being repeatedly smacked against the rocks.
"OUCH!DAMN! FUCK!SHIT!BITCH LET GO!" he yelled. The other people in the pool were snickering bemusedly.
(woo time-lapse :DDD)
After about 5 minutes of smacking hidans head against the rocks he appeared to be ...er...out-cold , Ler looked up for the first time then sweat-dropped a little.
"...uh...Hi.." she said and made a quick little two finger wave with her freehand.
A weird blue man crept through the water and then stopped and smirked."...You do know that you are the only girl on this side of the baths.."he said stalkerly while creeping a little closer.
"..Uh.."Said Ler blushing, realizing her surroundings. Then she quickly jerked her head around and then used one hand and pointed.
"No I'm not! there's totally a blonde chick right there!"
"I AM NOT A CHICK UHN!" Yelled the pissed of blonde guy now standing up shaking his fist revealing an obvious lack of boobage. The bluish guy and the other misty figures in the pool began to snicker.
"..Oh.."Said Ler surprised and slightly embarrassed.
"..So..where were we.."Said the blue guy stalking creepily through the water who oddly enough looked like a shark.
".meep.."mumbled Ler terrified slowly backing into a corner using the unconscious guy as a shield/wall thingy. Then another random annoying voice came out of nowhere.
"TOBI WILL SAVE YOU GIRL-CHAN!" NYAAA!" there was a sudden flash of swirling steam and orange and then a large splash.
Ler blinked to prevent water from getting into her eyes and then looked up to see a strange figure with a swirly orange mask flailing about on the blue guy.
"HURRY UP GIRL CHAN!" yelled the masked guy.
"TOBI GET THE HELL OFF!" yelled the blue guy trying to pry the masked guy off his face.
"NO! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI MUST SAVE GIRL-CHAN FROM MEAN KISAME-SENPAI!" yelled the weird masked guy.
Ler quickly dumped Hidan and plopped on the other side of the fence in one fluid movement and ,fortunately, slipped away in the confusion unnoticed.
Thank Elvis for steam.
Ler's blood was still racing because she was still pumped after beating the heck out of that annoying guy.
"Meh", shrugged Ler and she grabbed her towel and headed to get her things in the tiny dressing room. She walked into the room and threw a robe on and grabbed her stuff out of a cubby hole then stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. When she looked up the annoying silver-haired guy was there with an extremely pissed off look on his face.
"Move it dick-breath."Ler muttered as she pushed the guy out-of-the-way and began walking in the direction of her room.
"YOU INSOLENT FUCKING HEATHEN!"yelled the silver-haired rude guy.
"I'm tired you ass, I want to go to bed so leave me alone." Ler growled not turning to face him. Though secretly inside she was still too pumped to sleep.
"JASHIN WILL FUCKING..."Hidan began but was interrupted.
"I don't give a flying fuck what Jashin will do, leave me alone I'm tired.."she said casually, pausing for a moment.
"What the fuck did you say you fucking heathen bitch?" said Hidan his face slowly turning redder.
Deidara and Sasori were walking in the hallway when they heard the commotion in the hall.
"What's going on.."muttered Sasori disinterestedly.
"I think that Hidan is flirting with some chick.." replied Deidara.
"Hm."Said Sasori slightly amused.
"Oh? You want me to repeat myself? Fine." Said Ler toying with him.
" 'I .Don' . A. ." Ler smiled to herself then turned around to face the angry rude man.
"You..fucking..heathen..BIIIITCH!" Yelled Hidan running down the hallway.
"...Sonofa.."began Ler her eyes widening in shock. The angry guy was hurtling down the hallway. She began to turn but it was too late.
THUD!
They both hit the ground.
Hidan had tackled the chick..I mean..er..Ler to the ground. When Ler opened her eyes he was straddling her torso with a stupid look on his face like he was going to say something else. Ler flushed slightly due to the awkwardness of the position then somehow managed to knee him hard in the balls.
"AHHH!FUCK!JASHIN-DAMMIT YOU WHORE!GAAH!" Yelped Hidan as he rolled to the side clutching his valuables.
"You ASS!"yelled Ler in response, who was now standing up. She stepped over to where Hidan was rolling on the floor in agony and began squishing his head underneath her foot.
"GAAAH!"yelled Hidan.
Deidara was in pieces laughing at Hidan. Sasori..well..he was cracking up on the inside. Kisame and Kakuzu walked up to the other two.
"What's so funny Deidara..."said Kisame.
"That.."said Deidara tearing up from laughing so hard. He pointed at Hidan getting his head squished on the ground by some chick.
Kakuzu and Kisame glanced over and began laughing profusely.
"HAHAHA..That..dip.."began Kakuzu but couldn't finish due to the intensity of the laughter.
Hidan manage to twist to the side a little and yelled." YOU ASS KAKUZU! ONE OF YOU HELP ME!"
"Nah, it's more fun watching.." replied Kakuzu.
Hidan gritted his teeth then realized something else was within his range of vision. He called out suddenly.
" I SEE LONDON ! I SEE FRANCE! I SEE..." needless to say he didn't get to finish the phrase.
"YOU ….!" yelled Ler giving him one final kick that sent him flying into the other guys knocking them over.
Ler stormed off to her room which was just a little up the hall and slammed the door behind her.
'Well that was fun', thought Ler sarcastically in her mind. She put some PJ's on and hopped in bed. It took a while to actually fall to sleep but once she did..she was a rock.
Hopefully That wasn't too bad.
I know, I know, "That's what she said."