Megacrossover Earth: My Little Human: Friendship is Sufficiently Advanced
Celestia had just finished her day running Equestria and it was time to turn things over to her sister Luna. Tonight, she had scheduled tea with the partially reformed Discord to check up on his progress. He had shown signs of improvement during the past few months, although there were still the annoying, but ultimately harmless, pranks he would pull on Canterlot's populace. Many ponies in the city demanded that she return him to being imprisoned in a statue. However, Celestia felt that Discord had already had enough punishment.
This time, she had a guest, a unicorn named Delancie who studied pre-Equestrian history for a living. He possessed a grey beard and a diploma for a cutie mark. Delancie had told Celestia that he was very happy to meet a dracoequus, which was considered mythological before Discord first showed up more than a thousand years ago. According to Equestrian mythology, the dragoequi were as old as the world itself, but had been banished tens of millennia ago.
Discord arrived in the dining room wearing a red bathrobe and holding a pipe in his hand. Last time, he had been dressed like an ancient Pegasus centurion. While he may have had many flaws, Celestia always appreciated his sense of style. For a mad god of chaos, he sure liked to make himself presentable.
"Hello, princess. Let's get this tea party started."
He snapped his fingers and the teapot on the table became animate, pouring green tea into everyone's cups. Celestia actually enjoyed this and felt that this was a sign that Discord could enjoy using his powers without harming anypony.
"It's good to see you Discord," Celestia said, "This is Delancie, Professor of Ancient History at Canterlot University. He's been really looking forward to this event."
Discord looked at Delancie and stared at him with a knowing look, as if the two had met before some time before in the distant past. Delancie's reaction appeared to be a knowing awareness, as if he was expecting this reaction.
"Nice try," Discord said, "But I can still see in more than three dimensions. It helped me keep sane when Celestia imprisoned me. I know who you are."
This statement surprised Celestia enough to spit the tea she was drinking out of her mouth. To all appearances, Delancie was a perfectly ordinary, if slightly eccentric, unicorn. She saw no sign that he was more than that. She began to worry that Delancie was actually another dracoequus in disguise for some unknown reason. The thought of that surrounded horrible in itself.
"Well, my cover is blown," Delancie said. He turned to Celestia and said, "Sorry that I mislead you, Your Highness, but I am actually a being from a higher continuum and so is Discord. I've created this body as a way of interacting with normal ponies. You can start calling me Q if you want."
"You've demeaned yourself," said Discord with an angry tone, "Instead of taking an awesome body like mine, you've become a mere pony."
"You've taken the form of a dracoequus because you know it scares ponies. I take this form because it is what the natives of this world are most accustomed to. Besides, I prefer subtlety, something you can never understand" Delancie responded.
"Wait, you're not really a dracoequus?" Celestia asked Discord.
Discord started laughing and said, "You silly thing, dracoequi are a myth cooked up by ponies in the days before Dream Valley. Can you imagine there being more than one of me? There would be mass chaos and destruction everywhere."
"Don't worry," Delancie said, "Some of those old stories are real, such as the hero Megan's fight against Tirek. I've met her myself. Time runs slower on the human Earth than this world. It's been three thousand years here, but only thirty years over there. If you want, I can arrange a meeting between the two of you. She currently works as a horse trainer and nutritionist and is married with two children."
"I already know about Megan and the human world. In fact, some of the books in the secret part of the Royal Archives were brought over by Megan and her siblings. In fact, Luna and me have read all of them. Why else do you think almost every city in Equestria has a name pun related to the human Earth? I just choose to have my little ponies think humans are mythical." Celestia had also learned some details about humans from Doctor Whooves, who had frequently encountered them in the past, but she decided that it was best to tell neither of her guests about the Time Lord staying in Ponyville.
Delancie explained, "It all started when I decided to visit the one you know as Discord. I came here in the form of a pony because I prefer to appear as the species that I am appearing to. While I studied the history of this world, I discovered that humans, my favorite creatures in the multiverse, were once present in this world's distant past, such as your beloved Megan. I also discovered that this world has equine counterparts to some of the people on the human Earth. In fact, I learned that, for some unknown reason, there are human counterparts to the current bearers of the Elements of Harmony."
"Human counterparts?" Celestia asked curiously.
Delancie used his horn to conjure several images suspended in mid-air showing six humans resembling human versions of Twilight Sparkle and her friends. "Yes. Twilight's counterpart currently is an agent for the U.S. government who deals with the paranormal and the rest reside in Plainesville, Missouri. Sadly, none of them are friends. That's where Discord comes in."
"Wait, you want me to make them friends? Only a few months ago, I learned about the magic of friendship," Discord responded.
"Let me explain," Delancie responded, "You are going to test them by causing chaos and confusion in Plainesville, as long as you don't kill anyone. Fortunately, I know someone who can craft his own version of the Elements and deliver them to their rightful bearers. If they can successfully use their powers to defeat you, I will talk to the rest of our people about the possibility of ending your exile. If I find out that you do kill someone, I'll turn you to stone."
Celestia suddenly had a worried feeling in her heart. "Sorry Delancie but I do not trust Discord enough to let him leave Canterlot."
"Did I ever say that you could be part of this deal" Delancie responded in a condescending tone.
Discord began to react happily to this news. "So, what are these humans like?"
As Delancie used his magic, the suspended images changed to various shots of humanity. "They are a chaotic species, yet full of great potential. Higher powers are watching over them to makes sure that they do not stupidly destroy themselves. Humans have come awfully close on a few occasions. I remember that time some Air Force planes almost unknowingly set off a doomsday machine, but local Russian superheroes were able to stop them."
He looked at Celestia and asked, "You know what superheroes are?"
"Yes," Celestia answered, "There are a few comic books left by Megan's brother Danny. They are a bit too juvenile for my tastes, although Luna likes the ones about Batman."
Delancie then turned to Discord and said, "Superheroes are special beings who use their powers to fight evil. On Earth, most of them wear costumes and use some kind of cool alias like The Flash or Wolverine. In fact, all of the human counterparts to Twilight Sparkle and her friends have powers of some kind. You can read about them on this."
Conjuring up a small black device and handing it to Discord, he continued, "This is a PearPod, by the Pear Company. It contains an offline copy of Infowiki, an encyclopedia on the Internet that anyone can edit. The Internet is a vast network of thinking machines that people use to watch cat videos and other useless junk. You can read as much as you want."
As Discord looked at the PearPod for several minutes, his face started to smile. "Excellent," he said, "The human world sounds like my kind of place. I'll accept your offer."
The two shook hands while Celestia's eyes rolled. Doctor Whooves had told her that their were powerful beings on Earth whose job it was protect the planet from harm, but they were unlikely to pay attention to a single town. She had know idea what would happen to Plainesville, but from what Doctor Whooves had told her, humans generally weren't very good when dealing with extraterrestrial or extradimensional threats.
Once he was done shaking hands, Delancie said, "Well, it's been great being with you, Your Highness, but we've got six lovely ladies to unite." He snapped his fingers and the two beings disappeared in a white flash.
Celestia got out of her seat and headed straight towards her bedroom. With full determination to make sure to protect whatever innocent lives Discord may threaten, she wrote a new letter to the recently crowned princess Twilight Sparkle.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I need you to get the Doctor as soon as possible and tell him to come to my palace immediately. Discord has left our world for a world populated by humans and I need to make sure that he does not harm any of them. Remember to keep this a secret and do not tell anyone else besides Spike and your fellow bearers of the Elements.
Your mentor and friend,
Princess Celestia