"What's wrong?" I asked, pulling back to look at Spock. It took me all of three seconds to see that something was seriously up and I stopped. As much as I really hated to do it (and certain parts of my anatomy protested more than others) I lifted myself from on top of my T'hy'la and knelt beside him, waiting patiently for him to speak.
Even after 2 years of being bonded, and quite a while of 'courting' (I told him it sounded silly, but he always called it that) Spock was not where near as open with me as I wished he was. I had accepted a while ago that he wasn't going to be the let's-talk-about-it kind, which sort of came as a given with the whole Vulcan thing. But when something was bothering him, I could tell. I could also tell that he wanted to talk about it, but either felt like he shouldn't or didn't know how.
So, I just asked him and waited patiently for him to form his thoughts. I watched as a muscle in his jaw worked and his eyes darted down quickly before returning back to my own, both unconscious gestures that I don't think he even knew that he did every time he was conflicted about something. I never told him, either, because he'd make a conscious effort to stop doing them, if he realized.
"Do you still find me physically appealing?"
Well, that was way out of left field. It took me about ten seconds to figure out why he would even ask that, then I remembered—the scars.
About 2 months ago Spock had gotten jumped real bad on an away mission. It was a weird, scaly, six-legged panther-thing the size of a freakin' race horse. It had torn his chest to shreds, as well as slashing a nasty cut across his face. They had all healed well, but you couldn't really hide stuff like that. The scars across his chest were pretty gnarly, even with his super Vulcan healing. He had light green criss crosses all across his chest that rose up from his usual, smooth skin. The one on his face had healed up almost perfectly, but a faint line running from his forehead, beneath his bangs, halfway down his cheek was visible if you more than glanced at his face.
I realized I'd been silent for a long time when I felt Spock's anxiety and self-doubt coming across the bond. He shifted slightly and looked away again before I shook my head rapidly.
"No, no, no. Spock," I said and reached forward, softly touching his face and nudging him to look back at me, which he reluctantly did.
"It is an important aspect to human relationship. You can no longer say 'it'll get better when it heals', Jim. They are not healing anymore. Does my appearance disturb you?" he asked.
"Spock," I said more forcefully, using the same tone he did with me when he thought I was being unreasonable. I shook my head again."I don't care what you look like. I love you. You can barely see the one on your face. Plus... they're a little sexy," I said and gave him a smirk, sending playful thoughts across the bond.
The left eyebrow went up and I chuckled softly. "I love you," I said and leaned forward to kiss his lips. "I love your face," I whispered, tracing my lips over the line on his face, placing a soft kiss on his closed eye.
"And I love your body," I said as I pushed him back into the pillows. He seemed content to allow me to do so as I trailed kisses down his chest, along the green lines.
I felt his fingers under my chin, nudging my face back up towards his and I complied, sliding my body up his until we were face-to-face.
"And I love you, T'hy'la," he said softly before leaning forward to kiss me.
Insecurities aside, it turned out to be an awesome night.
((A/N: I'm back! School's over, (finally! I graduated! Whoo!) so maybe I'll finally have enough spare time to write some stuff. This was mostly prompted by Peachly (who you should all thank. Lol) who asked me how my writing was coming. I felt a little guilty about it, since she just punped out two awesome chapters. One for That Would Be Illogical, and a new one for her cute family fic, Sbahnak (I spelled it right! From memory, even. Lol) Plus, this whole scenario was kind of set up by our roleplay. So, good work to her for getting me to actually type some stuff up AND being an inspiration ^^))