The justice holograph popped up in front of them as they were about to step into the TARDIS. The Doctor didn't walk into it, no – he stepped straight through it then stepped back on his heel, surprised, with Donna right behind, "What's this now?" He hadn't anticipated anymore problems since he knew he had already straightened problems one to five hundred.
Or thereabouts – there was a lot of running involved, and it was hard to keep count.
Donna lost count after fifteen – they just became 'The next one' or 'Run' or 'Oh, dear that looks dangerous' which all lead to the assured continued existence of the alien planet.
"You are required to stop and return to Capital." The holograph, in the form of a glowy silhouette of a nude woman, was still and serious.
He leaned in hands in the pockets of his long, sandy trench coat and grinned cheekily, "Another problem or do I just have a fan? "The glow around her, her visible aura, darkened in response to his tease, though her expression did not change. Donna sensed that this was not going to end well. The Doctor went on blithely, that gleeful, school boy look straining on his cheeks – the man really did smile too much some days.
Nice smile – gorgeous, perfect for disarming pretty girls, and boys, and piss off enforcement.
"Well, I am rather a foxy looker, and brilliant to add – building that… oh you wouldn't understand from bits of string AND a kettle, talk about dejavu! …I'm bound to end up with fangirls!" He smoothed his hand through his hair in a gesture that was meant to be modest and coy, but also managed to look vain as well, "… Who are you again?"
"Solis.2 police system – you are required to face sentencing for seven hundred eight charges that the Solis overlord system has counted from various charges – you are to come with me to settle them."
The happy, mischievous time lord turned blank for a moment then erupted into disbelief at the mention of 'charges'. Then he became indignant.
"Charges? I just saved you, well not you, you're not sentient, are you?" the left brow quirked up, a gesture that itself was like an accompaniment to the invisible question mark on the statement. Solis.2 managed to look disgusted this time, and lost the cool, computerized tone she was using, "VERSION POINT 2, I have emotion loop circuits and adaptive programming, and…. And ave a faster download rate than you at any rate!"
"Sorry." He looked at his red soled chucks, "Didn't mean to insult you."
Solis.2 ignored the apology, and continued, recovering her almost monotone, "It should mean nothing to me – but you have been cornered on these charges and you may not leave the planet until you pay recompense."
"Aw, just tell me the charges, red tape - it's all the same everywhere, give a man your trust and what do you get? Red tape!" He ruffled his hair again, this time in agitation. Donna resisted the urge to smile out of spite because really, the Doctor been around for what, thousands of years and he still doesn't realise that he's gonna be slapped with these anywhere he leaves a big mess behind. He should know the ways of legality. She was a secretary so she knew all about red tape. The doctor acted like he didn't, affected a genuine cluelessness and hoped those big, glittery eyes of his got them/himself out the bind.
Solis.2 began spewing charges, yes spewing – at a steady projectile at the Time Lord. There were the inevitable breaking of laws that could only be alien, 'No saving the world on a Thursday' type laws and stuff that could only be equated to being charged for indecent exposure, but wasn't indecent exposure. Then came the irreverent stepping on governmental important persons that hold high position's toes, and the trampling of protocol like it was rubbish, and embarrassing key person, destroying a good portion of said property – and by this time Donna could almost mouth along with Solis.2 the list of infarctions.
"….Arson, endangerment of the Triad, sexual harassment-"
"Wait!What? Sexual harassment!"
Everyone stopped, and the Doctor did a mental one eighty.
"I never touched anyone!" He shouted.
"It's filed here, inappropriately touching a meta boundry quark."
Donna looked nonplussed.
Solis.2 further elaborated, "The walls, Doctor, the organic walls – "
The walls, the bloody walls with the giant roses on them, the Doctor rubbed his face, shifted his foot, "Those walls… aw no!" He sighed.
"…are sentient, more so than I am – they just don't show it in front of strangers."
"Well, I knew that but we were in a hurry, so I might of not thought about that too deeply before licking them," The Time Lord defended himself rigorously, "It was for a very science-ey reason, I swear!"
Solis.2 did not respond.
Donna rolled her eyes, "Doctor, do you know how many walls you licked and poked? Forget walls, your time lord DNA must be all over!"
"Donna, I don't like what you're implying!" The time lord glared at her, she glared back.
"We were in a HURRY, like I said! No time for formalities when the world's about to fall out the sky!" Even the exclamations on this statement had exclamations. The Doctor sniffed, indignant and put out, and tried to move and reach for the door of his big, blue box but a red, glowing line ran a circle around his feet and when he put one foot in front the other, he yelped.
"Ouch – no fair! Enforcer ring really?"
"JUST STOP MAKING A FUSS AND COME WITH ME!" Solis.2 screamed. Geez, he was stubborn, couldn't he just understand that he was making her job hard. If he had a problem, she could hardly do anything about it. She was just a police system, not a law system, or a justice system.
The Doctor was turning crimson from incredulous anger, and his eyes were widening.
"I didn't do anything! Donna say something!" He appealed to his companion.
"How many times have I told you not to chew on the dam scenery!" She snapped.
"Donna!" he said, or cried or squeaked – it was hard to tell which. But it was funny, the way his face twisted – stern, angry, beseeching and horrified was all turned together, resulting in despair at the universe. Now he had to do something boring like go to court.
"I haven't anything to do with the fancy charges?" Donna asked while the Doctor figured in his head a scheme to get out of this one.
"No, and we couldn't in any case since we have no authorization from the shadow proclamation to try a level six species for anything but capital crimes, you qualify as a accomplice, nothing more." Donna waved her fingers, "Good, I'll just wait in the TARDIS then Doctor, till you lot are done – see you when you get back!"
"Teleport activated." A white glow enveloped the Doctor.
"Donna, don't you dare!" a muffled shout was heard.
She didn't have too.
The Doctor varnished, along with Solis.2.
Donna wondered what the TARDIS had in the way of booze.
...
Next time maybe he'll think before he chews the scenery.
...
Doubt it
The Doctor was seen at five, Jade heart time, escaping towards his vessel, known as the TARDIS with a horde of holographs and other enforcement behind him, Daily Aquarius reports. Authorities remain tight lipped as to why.
"Glad to see you back Space man!" Donna smiled graciously.
"Don't think, I'm forgetting this." The Doctor muttered.
"AW, is the lettle, wheetle martian upset?"
"No, Donna, I'm not - and haven't I told you I'm not a martian."
"Have a beer."
Ah, sure - did I tell you about the fangirls on..."
A/N - This was written after I read some screen caps of off glitterdome, where there were some joking about David Tennant chewing the scenery. I just had too, it's a humor one shot, so sorry any OOCness. It's all in good fun.