Pietro Must Die!

Hey there folks! L1701E here! Here's a fun little one-shot. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to Marvel Comics and Sunbow Entertainment. And here's your quote: "Enemies! We need enemies!" - Dawn of War

Misfit Manor

"PIETRO, YOU JERK!!!" Angelica Jones screamed as she walked into the room. Behind her was a very angry Lance Alvers. Both the geokinetic and the fire-powered mutant were covered in whipped cream.

"You know what? I am getting sick and tired of Pietro's garbage!" Lance growled.

"What happened?" Paul asked as he and Xi walked in from the basketball court.

"Yes, and why are you covered in whipped cream?" Xi blinked.

"Thank that jerk Pietro." Angelica sighed. "He's obsessed with setting up me and Lance."

"Well, Lance's pining over Kitty does get rather an-" Xi started.

"Don't start, Xi. Please." Lance groaned.

"But you two aren't interested in each other." Paul blinked.

"Yeah, but for some reason, Pietro thinks we'd go well together." Angelica sighed.

"And it ticks off John to no end." Lance grumbled.

"You know, whenever I watch John roast Pietro, it's the only time I am ever actually glad that that lunatic has a thing for me." Angelica chuckled.

"You know what? That gives me an idea…" Lance grinned evilly.

"What?" Paul blinked.

"We'll need your help." Lance said to Paul and Xi.

"Why not?" Xi agreed with a shrug. "I could use some amusement."

"We'll also need Pyro for this plan."

"No problem." Angelica smirked. "I'll have John here."

A couple minutes later

Angelica knocked on the door to Pyro's room.

"Enter and fry! WAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!" Pyro cackled from the other side. Angelica opened the door. "Fire Angel?" John was sitting on his bed, playing air drums with a couple of drumsticks. A small bonfire was burning in the wastebasket.

"Hi John." Angelica smiled.

"What's up, Sheila? Want a date?" John grinned.

"Look, Allerdyce…" Angelica sat down on the bed. "I've gotten to thinking…"

"Yeah?" John grinned. Angelica mentally smirked.

I am going to enjoy this. Using Pyro is fun. "Well John, maybe I've been a little hard on you. Sure you're nuts, you set fires, and have a habit of driving everyone crazy, but underneath it, I can see that you really are a nice guy."

"Of course I am, Sheila." John grinned. "Not to mention good-looking."

"Well John, I had gotten to thinking, maybe we could go down to the mess hall and have something to eat? It's Taco Day, and Roadblock's cooking." Angelica asked. She hoped this worked. John was crazy, but he was far from stupid.

"Really?" John blinked. "Well, sure! I'll be there! Name the time!" But then again, love tends to guide judgment. Angelica told him the time and walked off. "Roadblock's tacos are rippa!"

"See you there!" Angelica grinned. Man, I hope Lance managed to convince Pietro.

"HOPE!!!!" John whooped, pumping his fist in the air.

Sometime later

Pietro Maximoff whistled as he walked toward the mess hall.

I can't believe it! Pietro thought happily. Man, Lance is finally listening to common sense! He's willing to give Angelica a shot. Oh man, Pietro Maximoff, you are a freakin' genius! And Lance finally saw the light and saw me as the genius I am. Now there can be a relationship around here that's normal, and better looking than Todd and Althea. Todd and Althea are disgusting. The sight of Todd making out with her sometimes makes me want to puke. Pietro walked into the mess hall and found Angelica sitting there, eating some of Roadblock's tacos. Pietro grinned and sat across from Angelica. "Hey Angelica."

"Hey Pietro." Angelica replied.

"So, I see you are willing to give Lance a shot." Pietro smirked. Angelica started her act.

"Yeah, Lance is a sweetheart. He needs somebody who cares about him. Kitty's just stringing him along. And besides, guitar players are very attractive."

"Would explain why Lance gets more fan mail than me." Pietro groaned.

"Anyway, he's a nice guy, and he needs a break." Angelica nodded.

"Only too true." Pietro agreed. "Todd and Althea are disturbing, Lance annoys everyone with his constantly trying to win Kitty, and Craig and Wanda are too afraid to make a move toward each other." Angelica mentally grimaced. Todd and Al had thought the world of each other, and they both felt different in their own way their whole lives. In the case of Craig and Wanda, they were the object of each other's first crushes, and both of them were too proud to ask for advice.

"If you say so." She shrugged. She eyed John walking on. He was walking on air, based on his silly grin. Angelica mentally smirked. Time to change the act. "YOU JERK!!!" She hollered, smacking Pietro across the face. John heard, and he looked ticked off. John knew why Pietro would be trying to talk to Angelica.

"Huh?" A confused Pietro blinked.

"I don't like Lance in that way, you idiot! How dare you make that insinuation!" Angelica growled.

"PIETRO, YOU'RE TOAST!!!!" John roared as he ran toward Pietro. Pietro screamed. He tried to run off, but he found Angelica grabbing his wrist. A shocked Pietro looked at an evilly-grinning Angelica.

"Lance and I cooked up this little plan, Speedy. Hope you like it."

"You red-headed little AAAAGH!!!!" Pietro screamed as John tackled him to the ground and started pounding him. "OWWW!!!!! HELP ME!!!! SAVE ME!!! SAVE THE PIETRO!!!"

"Your acting rocked!" Lance grinned as he ran up with Paul and Xi. Lance and Angelica high-fived.

"This is most amusing." Xi smiled as he pointed a camera at John making Pietro's face into fried hamburger meat.

"You'd do great back home in Hollywood." Paul grinned.

"Let's go get some tacos." Angelica smiled. The four Misfits went to the front.