RECAP of "Dead or Undead": Set after Dead in the Family; Victor is dead (tortured by Eric, killed by Sookie); Eric is King of Louisiana; Sookie's house was burned down (by Judith, who also burned down); Bill is MIA, last seen by Eric (who drove a metal stake into his chest); the IRS is targeting the two-natured including Sam and Alcide; Eric and Sookie just got human married (see Hagar at Hooligan's for the bachelorette party).
Chapter One
Today definitely qualified as the most stressful day in months. I spent all morning shaking hands with what felt like the entire the staff of E(E)E – Extreme(ly Elegant) Events. It's not that I was angling for a job with Special Events, especially given my history with one of its partners, but a certain paranoid Viking had insisted that I "screen" every human, witch or were before they came to our house, which we didn't live in yet, to cater a reception for our wedding, which happened months ago, that we were holding for all of the local big wigs, who hadn't been invited to the real thing.
Actually, given the way the last two E(E)E catered events I attended had turned out, I thought maybe Eric was being more pragmatic than paranoid. I had been on my knees praying that Quinn, my more recent ex, wouldn't be involved in the organizing and it was quite a relief when he wasn't among the crowd. I picked up a few thoughts from the group that led me to believe Quinn was keeping as far away from this event as possible. I hadn't seen Quinn since the night Eric and I finally re-consummated our relationship, and truth be told I wasn't sure I even wanted to see him again.
Of course, then there was my other ex, also unseen for several months, though I was beside myself with worry over Bill. He hadn't been seen or heard from in five months since the night when Judith, his vampire-sister and current flame, had burned down my house and herself with it. (Okay, I did have a hand in Judith being burned in the fire, but it sounds a lot better this way and she was trying to kill me at the time). I had worried for a while that Eric really had killed Bill that night, but Eric assured me over and over that staking a vampire with an aluminum chair leg would not finally kill him, only humiliate him to the point of wishing he were dead. Still, that left the big question of what happened to Bill?
Between reading dozens of minds all focused on serving drinks or being drinks (I had to screen the "Willing Donors" as well) and worrying about the current locations of my exes, I was worn out by lunch time. Naturally that was precisely when Amelia called to let me know about her house-warming gift that had gotten a little too warm.
"I'm so sorry, Sookie!" Amelia told me for the seventeenth time. "But I got it out really quick and it's just the one side of the house that looks a little charred. I'll call dad and I'm sure he can send someone out to touch up the paint before tonight."
"I can't believe you almost burned down our house! We haven't even moved in yet!" I yelled into the phone.
"I know, I know. I'm so sorry! Look, let me call dad and see if he can get someone out. I'll finish up the spell –"
"What? No! Amelia, honey, I know you mean well, but just let it go. If you really want to do this for us, please just wait until tomorrow. I really can't take any more stress over tonight." I was getting past my anger and heading straight to exasperated.
"Oh, Sookie, I know how stressed you are. I'm really sorry. I promise I'll get it fixed."
"Call Mr. Carmichael and see what he can do about it, but please just leave the spell for later." I was almost begging.
"Okay, Sook. I will. I'm so sorry."
I figured twenty apologies was all I could take, so I left the disaster in her questionable hands. Amelia was one heck of a powerful witch, but she seemed to get ahead of herself way too often. I thought she might have learned her lesson from the Bob-cat experience and her subsequent punishment from her coven, but apparently not. The anxiety from that phone call was enough to make me skip lunch and head straight for the next disaster: the cleaners.
I had taken Eric's tuxedo in two weeks earlier, as soon as Mr. Carmichael told us the house was finally ready. They were expecting it already, since Eric always hosted a special event at Fangtasia for Halloween. But today, it was no where to be found. After two hours of search and shouting, I headed over to the only tuxedo shop in Shreveport, but they didn't have anything close to Eric's standards or size.
There was a costume shop next door, the kind that pops up in September and disappears come November, but I figured that was worth a shot. The customers were mostly fangbangers excited by the selection of leather and latex, but there were more authentic items near the back. Unfortunately, they also didn't have a tux that would work, but they did have a barbaric leather belt with an elaborate braided metal buckle and bronze tassels. It screamed over the top, so of course I got it. I didn't think Eric would find it an adequate replacement for his best suit, but the thought of him trying it on without a suit underneath was enough to perk my mood up a little.
Before heading back to Eric's house, I went by our house to check that everything was in order. The guards were in place and the decorators from E(E)E were on the scene. Amelia had already left and, thankfully, the house was still mostly in tact. In fact, Mr. Carmichael had already sent a crew over and they had almost finished covering the scorch marks by the time I got up the nerve to walk around the house. Well, at least that was something.
I went over the guest list with the gate attendants one last time before driving back to Eric's house. It was still an hour before sundown, so I busied myself rummaging through Eric's closet for another tuxedo. Nothing. I was starting to get myself into a real panic when the doorbell rang.
It was Michael Morrison, Eric's new day man, and to me he looked like an angel sent from heaven. Or, more accurately, from the cleaners, because he was holding Eric's tux. I was so relieved I actually started crying, which, of course, made Michael three shades of uncomfortable.
"How did you find it?" I asked.
"The cleaners called a little after you left. I guess they put it under 'Stackhouse' instead of 'Northman'."
"Michael, you're a life saver!" I gave him a hug, grabbed the tux and disappeared back into the house. I hung the tux on the closet door and pulled out my dress. It was the palest blue, almost white, and made of a satin chiffon material that Eric was partial to, on me at least. The front had a deep V neck, and the back was so deep that the V ended just at my waist. The dress sparkled in the dim light of the room.
Figuring we could shower together when the sun set, I climbed into bed with my dead Viking and suddenly my anxiety was gone. I slipped under his arm and waited for the bond between us to spark back to life when he rose for the evening. As expected, a feeling of absolute happiness swept over me as he woke. I could feel through the bond his pleasure at having me beside him, and as he pulled me in closer I felt his pleasure down lower, too.
Ever since we had renewed our bond, it was a hundred times stronger than it ever had been. During the day, I was always aware of Eric, but when he was awake it was like he was sharing part of my mind. Not that I could hear him that way (except for the occasional glitch that scared me senseless), but he was constantly on my mind and I was sharing his moods through the bond as if they were coming from me.
"Is everything in order for this evening?" Eric asked while his hands started caressing me from shoulder to hip. Did I mention that we also seemed to have an insatiable (Word of the Day – Erotica Edition) appetite for each other, too?
"Yep," I answered, turning around to face him. "No members of the Fellowship of the Sun tried to sneak onto the staff and Michael managed to track down your tuxedo after the cleaners misplaced it. Also, Amelia almost burned down our house, but Mr. Carmichael sent over a paint crew to restore it."
I felt Eric's amusement at the last part, but he continued along his train of thought reaching his hands down lower.
"How long until the reception?" he breathed before leaning in to kiss me.
"Two hours," I said, a little breathless, reaching down to massage him, too. "But I think everyone usually shows up late to these things." We didn't say much else for the next hour.
Luckily I'd washed my hair in the morning, so it didn't take too long to get dressed. My anxiety had kept me from eating all day, so my dress fit great and from Eric's lingering stare when he saw me and the lust emanating from him through the bond, I figured it must look great, too. Eric walked over to me, staring down the length of my dress and back up to meet my eyes.
"There's something missing," he said.
"Yeah, here and even more in the back," I replied, moving my hand to point out the deep drop in the front of the dress.
Eric placed his hands on my hips, then slowly brushed them up over my breasts and then up around my neck. He leaned in to kiss me and when he pulled back I felt the weight of a chain around my neck. I looked down to see a stunning sapphire sitting between two smaller diamonds.
"Eric," I started to say something, but I wasn't sure what, so I stopped.
"We need something to keep everyone's eyes off your perfect breasts in that dress," he said lightly, but I could feel his satisfaction that he'd rendered me speechless with the gift. Eric placed my shaw over my shoulders, giving them a gentle massage.
As soon as we were in his Corvette, my anxiety came back in full force. Eric gave me a reassuring smile and kissed my cheek. "Don't worry, you're beautiful," he said. Beautiful or not, parading around as the most famous Vampire-Human couple in the country was akin to putting a big red and white bullseye target on my head. Seeing as how I already seemed to attract danger like moths to a flame, this was down right suicidal.
Eric had agreed to marry me when I asked (I know, I know, I should have let him ask, but he'd already vampire-married me and that seemed to be enough for him) because he knew it was something I wanted. But it also served his political agenda well, since it made us the spokes couple for Vampire rights. Eric was now receiving large donations from the general fund and various organizations that wanted to legalize Vampire-Human marriages, and a vote was coming up in the Louisiana state senate in a few weeks to do just that.
All of that was well and good, but there's always a catch and, for us, this was the Fellowship of the Sun who decided to make us the targets of all kinds of attacks that probably had Gran turning over in her grave. They were just down right crude. Not to mention that they'd become increasingly militant over the past few years, even going so far as to blow up the last regional summit in Rhodes. As if that wasn't enough, there were also the vampires who thought no human ranked high enough to be married to any vampire, let alone a King, and regarded me about at the level of something icky stuck on the bottom of their shoes. All in all, I thought I had pretty good reason to be worried about tonight.
When we got out of the car, Eric pulled me into one of his signature breath-taking, can't-remember-my-own-name kisses before we made our grand entrance. The main living area of the house was fairly well packed with people, with a band set up next to the fireplace. The back doors were opened to allow access to the deck and provide a bit more space. The wait staff was running around serving drinks wearing the usual black slacks and long sleeve white shirt, so I was the only human suffering from the chill October breeze that was sweeping in. Eric absent-mindedly rubbed his hands up and down my back, which only made me shiver more, though for a completely different reason.
Most of the vampires I had seen before. The first to come greet us were Russell Edgington, the King of Mississippi, and his husband Bartlett Crowe, the King of Indiana. Eric had performed their marriage ceremony at the summit in Rhodes, and the two newlyweds were still smoldering at each other.
"Miss Stackhouse," Russell said as he made his way up to us, "Or I suppose it's Mrs. Northman now. You are looking more radiant than ever, and I must say, my dear, your tastes are constantly improving." He gave Eric a lusty smile as he inclined his head towards me. Turning his full focus to Eric, he continued, "Congratulations, Your Majesty. Your latest exploits have indeed been impressive. I hope our joint endeavors are equally profitable." I wasn't sure if Russell was counting me as one of Eric's exploits, but I decided to let it go. I'd always gotten on well with the King of Mississippi, and I didn't see any need to change that just now.
Eric nodded to him. "I have no doubt they will be."
We were greeted by the Queen of Arkansas, who to me looked a bit strained, but maybe she wasn't having as easy of a time running her newly acquired state as Eric. The King of Kentucky also made an appearance, but he seemed to leave immediately after he paid his respects. I got the sense he was a little paranoid about safety.
The next couple to greet us I had met in New Orleans when I went down to clean out Hadley's apartment. Genevieve Thrash was a very dignified woman who I thought outclassed her husband, David, the Lt. Governor of Louisiana. Both were werewolves who had been in constant negotiations with Eric since he became King.
"Congratulations, Your Majesty," said the Lt. Governor.
Eric nodded. "I hope that our marriage will soon be recognized by your government."
"Having a prominent spokes-couple such as yourselves will no doubt help to persuade the senate, I am sure." I can't read Were minds as well as humans, but I could read enough to know he was sincere. The Lt. Governor hoped that if he could convince the state senate to legalize vampire—human marriages, that it would open the door to more rights for the Weres as well. I hoped he was right.
While he and Eric talked politics of marriage, Genevieve leaned over towards me. "I never had the chance to thank you, Mrs. Northman, for your thoughtfulness in New Orleans. I trust this event will be less, ah, exciting?" At the party for Sophie-Anne and her husband Peter in New Orleans, I had warned Genevieve that the party was about to get bloody in time for her and her husband to make a graceful exit before Eric and the rest of the vamps sent heads rolling.
"Please, call me Sookie," I said, "and you're certainly welcome. We don't have quite that much entertainment planned this evening, but I hope you and the Lt. Governor enjoy yourselves." She smiled back at me as the two headed for the bar.
Eric firmed up his grip on my arm when the next royalty made his way to us.
"Mr. Northman," Felipe nodded towards Eric. Felipe de Castro, the King of Nevada, was also the King of Louisiana and Arkansas before the coup. Victor Madden, Felipe's envoy of sorts for Louisiana, had orchestrated the take over and seen it through only to be overthrown himself by Eric before he could be crowned King. Eric had told me that he paid Felipe a large sum of money after the take over, but I doubted if that really made Felipe fine with the loss of his expanded domain.
"Mr. de Castro," Eric returned the nod along with the emphasis on the lack of title. Yep, definitely some tension here. I tried to push my calm through the bond to get Eric to relax, but it wasn't working.
"And Miss Stackhouse," Felipe didn't take his eyes off of Eric as he addressed me. "I do regret the loss of you almost as much as Louisiana. Though perhaps your Viking would be willing to offer your services from time to time." From his tone and partially extended fangs, it was clear he wasn't just after a mind reader. Now it was Eric's turn to try to keep me calm.
"Actually, it's Mrs. Northman now," I said to him causing my Viking to grip my arm a little harder.
"Felipe," Eric said, "you are welcome to contact my second should you need my assistance managing your kingdom." Felipe's smug expression faltered momentarily before he turned to leave, his cape swinging around behind him.
"Well this is sure fun," I complained.
"Dance with me," Eric said, not quite asking. I could feel that his desire to be alone with me was almost as strong as mine after our banter with de Castro.
We walked out to the middle of the room and everyone else fell back to give us space. Eric took me in his arms and we began floating around the room to the music. After the first dance, more couples started joining us on the floor, and after the third my feet were in favor of sitting the next one out.
Once we were apart, more people started lining up to talk with the Viking King of Louisiana, and I was glad to be sitting the politics out for a bit, too. Amelia spotted me then and came rushing over.
"Sookie, you look amazing!" She said, giving me a big hug. "I'm so sorry about the accident earlier."
"Don't worry about it. It looks like your dad got everything sorted out."
"Yeah, he's really sorry he couldn't make it tonight," she said. I could hear in her thoughts that he wasn't sorry at all that an emergency had come up. As much as Mr. Carmichael liked having the business with the top vamps in Louisiana, he sure wasn't fond of having to hang out with them.
Amelia and I caught up a little on the events of the day. "So, how's Pam?" I asked.
"Good. She's got a new friend," I could practically hear the quotation marks in her voice, "so we haven't seen each other too much. To be honest, though, I'm kind of glad. There's been a lot going on with the witches now that my probation is over, and it's kept me pretty busy." I couldn't help but read in her thoughts that the time apart was easing tensions with the witches in her cover. As a rule, witches aren't fans of the fang.
I saw the opening in her comment and took it. "About that, I really appreciate you wanting to help me and Eric out, but the basic wards you had on my house would be great. More than enough. I don't want you to put yourself out." Or blow up my new house, I added to myself.
"Don't worry, Sook," she said. "It's all done now. I figured it was the least I could do for you." I could see that Amelia was feeling guilty for having left me the day before I was attacked and Gran's house was burned down. She thought that if she had stayed a little longer, she could have done something to stop it.
Just went I was about to say something about it not being her fault, Amelia's thoughts went from lingering guilt to eager lust. I looked up to see Alcide Herveaux coming over to us.
"Sookie," he said, pulling me into a warm hug. He was definitely growing in to his role as the Shreveport pack leader. He radiated power. I'd always had a strong attraction to Alcide, but we'd never quite made it to couple status. That was probably the only reason I was able to keep my thoughts in check while he was holding me. That, and the wave of jealousy I was feeling coming through my blood bond. I pulled back from him before Eric's temper could rise.
"Alcide," I said, "I'm so glad you could make it."
"I didn't have much of a choice," he said in a husky voice. "But it's good to see you, anyway." I noticed for the first time that the strain of being pack leader was making its way into his eyes.
Amelia was screaming in my head for an introduction. "Alcide, this is Amelia." He nodded in recognition. Amelia had dated Trey Dawson, a member of Alcide's pack, until he died in the Fae War. Amelia was flirting with Alcide, who seemed pretty happy to reciprocate, when I noticed Russell approaching the bar for another True Blood. I excused myself, though the two hardly noticed, and walked over to him.
"Your Majesty," I said, "I was wondering if I could ask you a question."
"Of course, my dear." Russell replied, curious.
I thought about my phrasing before I spoke. "Have you seen Bill Compton recently?" I asked.
Russell's face broke into a smile. "Is he missing again?" Russell asked, clearly amused. "He does seem to be difficult to keep track of. But, no, I do not know where he is." For some reason, I believed him. It had been a long shot, but since the last time Bill went missing he'd ended up being tortured in Russell's barn for several days, I had felt compelled to ask.
"How are you enjoying married life?" I asked, feeling a need to lighten the topic.
"It is most rewarding, as I am sure you'll agree," Russell said. He looked over towards Eric and his fangs slid out a little. "Tell me, my dear, does he really satisfy his hunger with only you?" I didn't think Russell was just talking about blood, but either way the question would have had my Gran smacking the rudeness from his face. Luckily, I'd learned enough about vampires, and vampire royalty, to keep my hands by my side.
"Eric and I are quite happy, as well," I replied with a smile.
Russell made a longing sigh. "Perhaps in ninety-nine years when I am eligible once more . . ." He went back over to Indiana with two bottles of True Blood.
That comment had sure knocked me off my perch. Vampire marriages, at least the ones between two vampires, were suppose to be sacred for one hundred years. I suppose 'until death do we part' was a bit too much commitment for the undead. Now here Russell was talking about pursuing Eric once his marriage to Indiana was expired with no thought of little mortal me at all. I suppose he knew I'd be dust in the ground by then, but that reality didn't exactly comfort me. In fact, it had been bothering me more each day, though I did my best not to bring it up with Eric anymore. He'd made it clear that he wanted me for as long as I was around, and while I didn't doubt his sincerity when he said it, I wasn't sure he'd really feel the same when my skin started sagging like an elephant's knees.
Eric must have felt the sadness sweeping over me after my conversation with Russell, because he was standing next to me not a minute later with a questioning look on his face.
"He doesn't have Bill," I said, thinking of a way to deflect his question before the asked.
"Sookie, I've told you, I have people looking for him. You do not need to waste your time on this." Eric was irritated that I was so concerned about Bill's whereabouts. Before I could respond to remind his why I was concerned, the music stopped playing. We looked to the band and Bubba had walked up to the microphone.
"Miss Sookie. Mr. Eric," he said, inclining his head towards us. Then, without further preamble, the band started to play and the King closed his eyes. "Hold me close, hold me tight . . ."
Eric did, and we were the only ones on the dance floor while Bubba serenaded us with "I want you, I need you, I love you". As I listened to the words, if I hadn't known different, I would have sworn Bubba had written it just for us. All of my worries about tonight or Bill or Felipe or Russell disappeared. At the end of the song, Eric leaned in to kiss me and the world fell away. When it came back, Bubba was in the middle of "Love me tender", and I was thinking things really couldn't get any better than this.
Of course, that's exactly the moment the alarms went off.
The next thing I knew my ears were filled with the ringing of sirens and Eric was flying me to the center of the house where the stairwell to downstairs was located. "Stay here," he said before kissing me and running off.
Amelia came over to stand beside me, then we both ran over to the windows to see what was going on. Far out at the edge of the property I could see what looked like an enormous burning cross. Oh goody, the Fellowship of the Sun decided to crash in after all. A few of the more fanatical members charged forward with burning torches, but as soon as they crossed onto our land their torches went out and I couldn't see.
"What's going on?" I asked no one in particular.
Alcide had just come back in. "The Fellowship decided to make an appearance. They're trying to burn a cross in the yard, but the idiots can't seem to get the fire started." Alcide seemed calm, almost amused, so I relaxed a little. Then I heard Amelia bursting with pride beside me.
"The wards?" I asked, stunned.
"That's what I was working on today. No one can bring fire across your land or start one on it. The only exception is the fire place in the living room and the stove. Anything else goes out or won't get started."
I was so happy I kissed her right on the lips. "You're the best witch I know!"
"Happy house warming," she smiled back, oozing with pride and a twinge of lust. Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her.
"Between the guard dogs and the witchcraft, you seem to have an impenetrable fortress," Russell commented, a little envious. The vampires were back now that the situation seemed under control. Alcide stiffened his posture next to me, clearly taking exception to the guard dog comment.
"Yes," Felipe agreed. "The Viking has acquired an extraordinary assortment of talents. Perhaps I should not have let Louisiana go quite so easily." He stared at Amelia and me as he spoke, and I could see scheming behind his black eyes.
Fortunately Eric returned then. "Alcide, your pack has rounded up the trespassers. Please see that they are held until the police arrive." Alcide glared at him, grunted and left. "Your Majesties," Eric said addressing Russell, Bart and Felipe together. Russell and Bart made to leave, but Felipe hesitated before going. Eric's bloodlust was rising and bringing other things up with it. He pulled me into a deep kiss and moaned in protest when I broke away so that we could get back to our guests.
The party resumed while the protestors were rounded up, just to make the point that they hadn't disrupted anything. Eventually, the guests started to leave and soon Eric was giving final orders to Rasul in the driveway.
I heard to front door close and almost at the same time Eric swept me up into his arms and, in a very Rhett moment, carried me down the stairs to our bedroom. A moment after he set me on the bed, Eric's clothes were on the floor and he was sliding my dress down over my shoulders.
"Does this mean we can move in now?" I asked Eric once his mouth moved off of mine and wandered down my body.
"Yes," he said between kisses. "But you'll have to invite me in." His fingers were probing inside me while his tongue danced around them.
"Come in," I said. "Oh God! Please, come in." His mouth moved back up to mine so I could taste myself on his lips. Then he came in and we spent the last three hours before dawn christening every room in our new home.