Hello! Today's not a good day so I decided to write this in order to cope with the whole Hotch's departure (yes, again, I'll never get over it). ALSO BE AWARE IT CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR S12EP06. This one is very different and I guess it's more about what I always say when someone tries to put me down:"a girl can dream". So, here's my dream mixed with the original plot of the show and some other feelings.

Also, thank you for my amazing beta Betty Drake for reading all of this in less than one hour (she's awesome, really) and for encouraging me to publish :)

And a HUGE thank you for reviewing 'It must be the heat', I'll be answering all of you privately soon. By the way, I'm working on a sequel! *mischievous grin*

Disclaimer: The characters are intellectual property of CBS, therefore, this is a fan work without financial gain and with the only purpose of entertainment.

"What?!" her exclamation came a bit more altercated then she presumed. Emily was still shaken to the bone after the last case and now this. When they talked on the phone weeks ago, she knew there was something unusual going on. She had that feeling because in which damned world would Hotch go away for a special assignment without calling for help? Her help. Because he never did this time and she knew he wouldn't have if she hadn't volunteered.

At first, she thought it was just a sign that he'd be back as soon as it was all over, but then, he didn't pick up the phone for the last few days and her mind wandered for two things. One, he was busy; two, something absurdly wrong was happening. She took the latter because even when they were through the worst cases, they managed to have at least a 'Hello, have a nice day. Busy but good.'

They promised each other this. They promised they'd always keep an eye on each other since Foyet. He was always overprotective of her and she always had that concern both about him and Jack, so it was no big deal.

Now Dave just told her about witness protection and Peter Lewis going after Jack at his school and the resignation letter… Emily's head spiraled for a minute, trying to register all the explosion of information. Her eyes widened in tingling fear.

"And there's more, I am sorry to say."

"Sure, there's always more." she snickered, shrugging her disapproval as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Kid, it came to me that he requested one last thing." her frown mimicked his and she was almost sure she just shot his famous glare.

"You're talking like he's… dead."

The thought of burying him tore her to pieces. She couldn't bear the thought any longer and she shook her head in denial. "We're gonna find that Mr. Scratch and he'll come back."

"Emily, I don't think he would want to come back, not after all that happened to his family through all these years. Not after he said he wants you to take his place!" the lump in her throat became painful. No way. He didn't. He'd never do that. He promised that, he promised… Oh lord.

"No way! I can't do that. You take his place." she denied protectively.

Rossi's office never seemed so small and suffocating.

"I'll tell you what's about to happen: we will go after Peter Lewis, we're gonna destroy this son of bitch's life just like we did with Doyle and Foyet before him and everything will be alright just like it used to be!"

The room sank into devastating silence. Emily kept the last word, stubbornness spitting everywhere as a defensive mechanism. For a few minutes, she considered leaving the room, storming off to wherever she could go with a half gas tank.

Dave watched her reaction with careful eyes. He was worried and sad and as hurt as anyone who practically lost his best friend for God knows how long would be, but he kept his self-control in order to help the team and he always thought the brunette would do the very same. If not for them, she'd do that naturally due her persistent urge to be the strongest. There was something else going on.

"Emily…" she felt a large palm touching her back. "I know that this is by far the worst moment this team has ever gone through, but we're gonna make it together and I need your help with the others. I can't even imagine how JJ and Reid will react to the news; put aside Garcia. You know how she is. I need your help. We need your help. That's what Hotch would want you to do."

She sighed in defeat. He was right. Even with all those matter of facts, there was something she couldn't forbid and if she had to be honest with herself, she'd grieve his departure in unassuming silence every single day because of that. It would be, by far, one of the greatest woes she'd have to face in a while.

"You're right…" her hand reached for her pants' pocket, the small metal chain entwining her fingers. She had to do this. For him, for her, for the four of them.

Rossi stared at her vacant eyes, her hand inside her pocket and the nervous twitch on the corner of her lips. She was quivering inwardly, he was sure of that.

"I need you to be honest with me. Is there anything else going on with you?" his question was crystal clear. It had to be or he'd never have an answer. "I want you to tell me now."

She met his eyes with an expression of pure vulnerability. Her hand gave him one of the two things she's been hiding from every human being. Even from herself at some points. The older agent looked down to find a slim metal chain holding a shiny silver wedding band. No other words were needed as he stood silently questioning how and why they bothered to hide this from their family.

"You lost a friend, I lost my husband." the words were murmured almost like they were the greatest secret one could bear. Dave had no reaction but a look of empathy and somehow surprise filling his features. "Tell me…" she gasped, trying to avoid the tears. "Tell me how I tell this to a little girl…" Emily looked down again, grabbing her ring from his hand. "Never mind."

She spun on her heels in order to vanish from the office before she was caught crying her eyes out. Emily reached the door knob, almost swinging the door open when she heard a voice behind her.

"How old is she?"

Emily slipped a faint smile due the thought of the small black haired girl with her mother's eyes and her father's dimples, "She's three."

"You have the chance of coming back home one day for the three of them, kid…" his hands slipped inside his front pockets; Dave knew the risk of the chase, but he also knew Emily would do anything in her power to save them. "I'll tell you what I told Aaron once; you have a family, don't let the purest thing in your life slip away."

To be continued...

Please, if you can, take a minute to tell me whether you like it or not! I'll be delighted to hear from you!