Wondrous Cave
by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Based on "The Cave Caper"
Russia: Утиные Истории # 10
Launchpad was acting as scout master to the Jr. Woodchucks.
"Today, we are going to earn your Jr. Woodchuck medal in spelunking." Launchpad began.
"What's spillunking?" Dufus asked.
The other kids laughed. Launchpad ignored them and answered:
"Spelunking is cave exploring."
"We've explored caves before." HDL said in unison.
Being triplets, they do that sometimes.
"I know. But this time, it will count towards you gaining the medals. So I guess that makes the times you did it before as practice." Launchpad said.
"Now, are we all ready? Does everybody have a flashlight that works with brand new batteries in it? Everybody tied together so we can't get lost and can help each other? Everybody got their water flasks, their salt tablets, and their first aid kits?" Launchpad asked.
"You ask that every time we go exploring!" Huey complained.
"Hey, I'm absent-minded and disorganized. So I try to do things on automatic pilot. Do the same thing, time after time, until I do it without thinking." Launchpad explained. "So...are we all prepared?"
"Yes." the Jr. Woodchucks replied.
So down the cave they went. Now, the Beagles Boys were hiding from the cops in an abandoned cabin nearby. They saw HDL and Launchpad enter the cave. They did NOT see the rest of the Jr. Woodchucks. And the Beagles jumped to the conclusion that our heroes were treasure hunting again.
So the Beagles decided to follow our heroes until the Ducktales Ducks found whatever treasures the Beagles THOUGHT they were looking for, so the Beagles could steal it. The Beagles do this so often the possibility our heroes were NOT looking for treasure THIS time did not occur to the Beagles.
So the Beagles followed our heroes down the cave. However, the Beagles did NOT have flashlights, water, salt, rope or first aid kits. Our heroes kept to well-traveled parts of the cavern.
"Why don't we take the shortcut?" Huey asked.
"Because some of us are beginners who have never been cave exploring before. The shortcut branches off and some of its passageways have never been explored. That's no place for beginners. We COULD get lost or trapped in a cave in." Launchpad explained.
"We could get where we are going a lot faster." Dewey said.
"IF we don't make a mistake and take the wrong cavern. Besides, what's our hurry? We got all day." Launchpad replied.
"I thought you believed in taking chances." Louie said.
"Not when there is nothing to gain. I wouldn't be helping anybody; I would not showing off in an air show. And I wouldn't be the only one taking chances, I'd be dragging you guys into it." Launchpad said. "So we are taking the slow left cave. It's prettier, anyway."
"Your wife, Sharan says you suffer from claustrophobia." Dufus said.
"Sharan's right. I don't like narrow places with low ceilings. But I'm here anyway, right?" Launchpad replied.
And when the cave forked into two caverns, one going left, one going right, our heroes took the slower, longer left passageway. The Beagles, who had overheard our heroes talking, took the short cut to the right.
"This way we can get there first and steal the treasure!" Big Time said.
He still thought our heroes were treasure hunting. The right hand passageway was better lit then the left. More light from the surface managed to filter down into it. You could see where you were going just fine without flashlights, at first. But, as the Beagles went further down the passageway, further from the surface, there was less and less light to see by.
The Beagles stumbled on stones in their path and fell down. Splash! They landed in a little pool. The wet Beagles got up. They saw a light up ahead and followed it. The light came from our heroes' flashlight. The Beagles had stumbled down the WRONG passageway and were now BEHIDE our heroes.
Since our heroes had a flashlight and the Beagles didn't, they followed our heroes as quietly as they could. This wasn't easy in wet clothes in a cool cave.
"Ah-choo!" Big Time sneezed.
The other Beagles sneezed, too. They tried to smother their sneezes; they tried to keep them quiet. But in caves, sounds echo.
"Did you hear somebody sneeze?" Huey asked.
"Could be. Other "people" could be spelunking today. These caves are popular." Launchpad replied.
"You don't think its trouble, do you?" Dewey asked.
"Huh? But we're not treasure hunting! Why would anybody interfere with a Jr. Woodchuck field trip?" Launchpad asked.
"We've been "interfered" with plenty of times in the past." Louie said.
"I KNOW that. I was THERE, a LOT of those times. But there was usually something worth stealing at stake...oh boy. Now you got ME worried. What if somebody is after you boys? "Launchpad asked.
"You mean to kidnap us so our Uncle Scrooge will ransom us?" Huey asked.
"We could always give them the "ransom of Red Chief" business." Dewey asked. (1)
"I wouldn't recommend trying that. You get a kidnapper too mad, and he might hurt you guys. or worse." Launchpad replied."
"What are we going to do, Launchpad?" Dufus asked.
"Let's not overreact. It could have just been another spelunker. Hey, it could have been a bat squeaking or an owl hooting, with all these echoes. Up ahead this passageway branches off into several passageways that circle around. Let's take one of the other passageways and see if anybody follows us." Launchpad replied.
Soon, they reached a fork in the cavern. There was a large, main passageway and a much smaller passageway. Our heroes took the path less traveled. This cave went in one big circle and led to other passageway that went in circles. Our heroes listened and peeked thru "peepholes". They soon heard and saw that they were being followed...by the Beagle Boys.
"It looks like you were right, boys. I don't think the Beagle Boys are spelunking. They must be trying to kidnap you. Let's have a little "fun" with them, shall we?" Launchpad asked.
Meanwhile, Mr. McDuck has received word that: A: his nephews were supposed to return from a Jr. Woodchuck field trip and are overdue and B: the Beagles Boys were spotted in that area. Naturally, Mr. McDuck got Duckworth to drive him out there so he could search for his nephews.
Elsewhere, Launchpad and the Jr. Woodchucks were having "fun" with the Beagles, leading them around in circles. Leading them to caves where bats were sleeping peacefully and then, once they were a safe distance away and the Beagle were just entering the bats' caves, making LOUD noises and waking the bats up. The bats screamed and flew in all directions and dropped guano on the Beagles.
Our heroes lead the Beagles to caves that were hot due to hot springs bubbling up in them. Our heroes had canteens, the Beagles didn't. Soon, the Beagles were thirsty, but the springs were too HOT to drink from. When they did find a cool spring, it was SALTY. Launchpad made sure they were a safe distance from the Beagles, as the Beagles were getting ANGRY.
Meanwhile, Mr. McDuck was speaking with the Trins original Troop Leader (2), who has since been promoted to running the Jr. Woodchuck campgrounds. That's WHY Launchpad took over as their Troop Leader.
"I was the one who called you. It's not the first time a troop has been late returning from a field trip. However, considering who YOU are and considering that the Beagles were spotted in the area shortly after they left the camp grounds...I got worried and I contacted you." O'Rig said.
"They were heading to some caves to do some exploring. I can lead you there." O'Rig continued.
"Do so right away! I have a feeling in my bones that my lads are in trouble!" Mr. McDuck ordered.
So O'Rig led Mr. McDuck to the cave entrance.
In the caves, Launchpad and the boys had led the Beagles to a cave that circled around so monotonously that the Beagles went around and around and around SEVERAL times before they even realized that they were getting no place and SEVERAL more before they FINALLY found the entrance to the exit. Or, rather, found their way out to caves that led someplace.
"Now I'se know what a hamster in an exercise wheel feels like! And I'se DON'T like it!" Big Time grumbled. "Come on, brothers! We're finding the treasure they are after!"
Our heroes overheard this.
"WHAT treasure? We're on a Jr. woodchuck field trip! We're just exploring these caverns, not treasure hunting!" Launchpad shouted out.
"Says you! We know you're looking for treasure and we is going to find it and steal it!" Big Time responded.
"Launchpad, they've got it into their heads that we are looking for treasure. Nothing we say is going to convince them otherwise." Huey said.
"Maybe if they find a 'treasure", we can slip out of these caves and escape!" Dewey said.
"I'll check the Jr. woodchuck guidebook for information on these caves." Louie said.
And he did so. Soon, our heroes walked into a cavern. Launchpad shown his flashlight on shiny, clear stones in the cavern. The stones were common quartz, but the Beagles didn't know that. Our heroes pretended to be gathering the stones, then fled when the Beagles rushed into the cavern. The Beagles didn't have flashlights, so they didn't get a close look at the stones, or they would have realized they were worthless. Or, then again, maybe they wouldn't. I understand that diamonds in the rough don't look like much.
While the Beagles were grabbing as many worthless quartz crystals as they could, our heroes heading OUT of the caverns. To run into Mr. McDuck and O'Rig.
"Unca Scrooge!" the boys yelled.
"Mr. McDee!" Launchpad said.
"What trouble have you gotten my lads into this time, Launchpad?" Mr. McDuck demanded.
"The Beagles Boys thought we were treasure hunting! The boys came up with the idea of leading them to a cave with plenty of quartz crystals in it. They don't have a flashlight, so they think they are diamonds. We better get out of here so we can call the cops." Launchpad replied.
"Why didn't you boys call the police before? I bought you cell phones!" Mr. McDuck asked.
"In a CAVE? We'd never connect!" Huey answered.
As soon as they were out of the cave, they called the cops. O'Rig hadn't done so before in case the boys were just lost or dilly-dallying. The greedy Beagles kept gathering up quartz crystals until they heard sirens. Only then did they take the "diamonds" and run. The Beagles always carry bags to put their loot in. They had stuffed the "diamonds" into the bags and ran...but the quartz crystals were heavy as...rocks.
It didn't take long for the cops to catch up with them.
"We didn't do nothing illegal! Them caves don't belong to nobody, so we didn't steal these diamonds!" Big Time said.
"Diamonds?" Mr. McDuck asked. He examined the stones. "Quartz. Common Quartz."
"You're wanted for jailbreak. And these caves belong to the park department. Stealing or trying to steal from them is illegal." Cop told the Beagles.
And arrested them.
Mr. McDuck was following the trail of dropped quartz crystals the Beagles had left behide.
"What are you looking for, Uncle Scrooge? These are just worthless common quartz crystals." Huey asked.
"Certain gem stones like amethyst are related to quartz...are a type of quartz.."(3) Mr. McDuck replied.
"You couldn't sell them even if you found them, Uncle Scrooge. This land belongs to the parks department, remember?" Dewey reminded him.
"No, but I'd pay a lot less taxes if the parks department had something it could sell on this land!" Mr. McDuck replied.
And he followed the trail to the caves lined with quartz crystals. He looked, but saw nothing but quartz. Finally, he found some geodes and some birth stones.
Soon, the park department and the Jr. Woodchucks (who owned some of the land) were selling junk jewelry and geodes. They found junk jewelry made even of quartz sold well if it LOOKED real and was pretty. And Duckburg at least didn't have to raise it's taxes. This is about the best you can expect right now.
The End.
(1) I have kicked around the idea of somebody kidnapping the boys and them promptly driving him nuts, ala "the Ransom of Red Chief" by O'Henry or "Home Alone".
(2) I think Disney was annoyed at Launchpad for "replacing" him- and as far as I know, they never even bothered to give him a NAME. Didn't they just refer to him as the Grand Mogul?
(3) Yep. So is Citrine.