A/N: Many, many, many thanks to Ghostwritten2 for being a beta at all hours. Rating is for hard language
My sincerest apologies to Frank McCourt, whose writing style and memoirs inspired this piece.
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Uncle Owen was full of the good, solid of kind of knowledge, the kind you can only get from making a living out of the near-lifeless wastes of Tatooine, but Luke had a feeling that he may be wrong about Old Ben.
Uncle Owen said he was a crazy wizard, but Luke thought that he was more sad than crazy. His Aunt Beru had had a crazy sister who'd come to live with them for a while after she'd 'broken down'.
(Luke had asked what they meant, because people couldn't break down like a faulty speeder, people are people, but everyone shook their heads and wouldn't answer)
Ben wasn't anything like her. He didn't throw things or turn his face to the wall or shriek nonsense any time Luke had seen him, so how could he be crazy the way poor Neela Whitesun (whose two little boys lay under the sand even though she insisted they followed her around and wanted to be fed) was crazy?
Luke knew all these things about Ben because one time Biggs had found him running and errand for Aunt Beru and shuffled his feet and said Luke, will you come with me to bring Dad home?
Why should I? Luke asked, his voice thick with bitterness
And Biggs said that Dad had been out drinking to the Death of the Republic he was scared to do it by himself and Luke felt ashamed and said of course he would.
They made their way through the haze and shadows of the cantina, Luke feeling a little daring because this place was utterly forbidden and not even Uncle Owen came here because he said drink made even an honest man a wretch and there were precious few honest men to be had on Tatooine. This was no Mos Eisley, all the men here wore the simple homespun garments of the moisture farmers and they nursed their simple drinks and maybe pretended they were on a much more interesting planet, because that's the only thing Luke could think of that was fun to do while sitting still in a badly-lit bar.
Mr. Darklighter was seated at a table in the corner with his arm draped over another man and was telling him how he'd seen all the men in his squadron but him have a chance to lay their lives down for the Republic during the Clone Wars even before they'd properly started and those identical sumbitches with their fancy guns had come in and fucked the job good and well.
They'd fought and died, he said, because once the Separatist Bastards were gone the Republic was going to come in clean out the Hutts and no man on Tatooine would have to pay for the privilege of a night's sleep free from fear of gangsters. The Empire didn't care, he said, who lived or died so long as everyone died good and quietly, but they hadn't heard the last of Tem Darklighter because he remembered how the Republic had promised him freedom for his little boy and a chance to make it as far as the Core and have a real job, away from this hellhole planet.
And the man he was draped over said that if he heard one more word about the pisspot Republic he'd punch Tem's lights out, and Tem rounded on him and called him a cowardly Imperial cocksucker and Biggs pulled on the edge of his tunic and said Please Dad, please come home, Mom says Gavin's crying and there's no water to be had in the house because you haven't brought any money home. Tem says his son's got more balls than any of the Empire Boot-lickers presence, and asks Biggs if he's willing to lay down his life for the Republic. Biggs says Yes, please come home, Dad, and his voices cracks a little but Tem asks Luke the same question.
Luke says Mr. Darklighter, you're not thinking straight, and the smell of drink is thick on Mr. Darklighter's breath. But he puts his hands on Luke's shoulders and asks if Luke is a cowardly little Imperial Cocksucker, and Luke is afraid so he doesn't answer and this time Mr. Darklighter shouts ARE YOU A LITTLE IMPERIAL COCK SUCKING SON OF A WHORE? And Luke cries and says he doesn't know because his Momma is a dead and Biggs isn't crying yet but he's gonna and that's when Ben shows up out of nowhere. He's only slightly steadier on his feet than Mr. Darklighter but he puts his hands on the drunken man's shoulder and turns him around-
Don't you talk to this boy like that.
Mr. Darklighter takes a swing at Ben (it flies wide) and says I did my part for the Republic, I can say what I damn well please, and flecks of spit fly out of his mouth with every word but Ben only looks him straight in the eye and says
Don't you talk to this boy like that. Get out.
And Ben's speech is slurred and almost defiled by the familiar Tatooine patois because he's got a touch of Coruscant in his tongue and power in his words and Mr. Darklighter just spits at his feet and takes Biggs' hand and stumbles out the door and into the red light of the setting suns.
Ben gets on his knees, creaking and cracking the whole way down, so he can look Luke in the face and says that this is no place for Anakin's boy, that this whole planet isn't good enough for Anakin's boy, and he gets back up so he can reach over and drain the contents of his mug and declares that galaxy has gone to rot and is full of small men and was never good enough for the likes of Little Luke Skywalker, and the men say hear, hear and raise their glasses. Ben's hand is unsteady but gentle as he grasps Luke's own and says Let's go home, Little Skywalker. It's getting late.
That was what he said out loud. But in his head, Luke heard Ben's voice saying Anakin, Anakin, my poor dead Anakin, and that voice is wracked with tears rather than drink.
Luke asked his Aunt Beru once if hearing other people's thought-voices makes you crazy, and she says no, that's just the Suns talking to special little boys, and it could be their secret, between Luke and his Aunt and the Suns. You're not crazy, Lukey, you just have a touch of your Daddy's light in you. Luke asks if Ben's got the light in him, too, but Aunt Beru just looks a little worried and tells him to run along and find out why the vaporator on the east side in making clunking noises again, and then to see if his little friend Biggs can play.