My name is Felicity Alexis Albert Maximillian. I am a drop dead gorgeous blond girl with a perfect figure and an amazing personality. I have moved to Ikebukuro because I heard it's an interesting place, full of excitement. I hope I get to meet the so-called "Black Rider"!
I step off of the train station. The first thing that happens to me is me getting hit by a random vending machine! Oh my god, what kind of person is mean enough to throw vending machines at girls as pretty as me? Wait...could it be...Shizuo Heiwajima, the strongest man?
Yes it was. He immediately ran over, in hysterics because he had left a nick on my flawlessly beautiful face.
"I'm so sorry, you very attractive woman" he panted in a remarkably sexy way.
I kept telling him that it was okay, and also that he was cute and we should go out sometime. This seems to have rattled him, because he's afraid of hurting me. Little does he know that I am the Toughest Girl on Earth, so he can't harm me! (Actually I'm from Fargaia (which I know is called Filgaia in English-language Wild Arms games but I like the Japanese name better so deal with it (also I speak Japanese fluently so I generally prefer Japanese name varieties over other languages (and no, I am NOT a weeaboo, you queef!))), which also makes me an alien.)
I took his hand and he led me to his place. We went out to dinner, then we watched a movie. Then we made beautiful love all night long. Ikebukuro IS a really amazing place. I got it on with a super hottie the first day of my visit, yay!
When the morning sun came all over our faces, we quickly snapped our eyes open and decided to go buy manga. We got to the store, and I wanted to buy yaoi but Shizuo got really angry and started screaming in my ear. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! THAT CRAP IS THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL!" I was persistent, and sexily begged him to buy me some. He couldn't say no when I stared at him with my big blue eyes and jiggled my girls just a little bit.
As we were walking back home with a stack of yaoi manga balancing on Shizuo's head, we were passed by a black cat that sent chills down my spine. Wait, that wasn't a cat...it was...IZAYA ORIHARA! The man you NEVER want to meet!
Izaya walked up to me and started to fondle my rack, whispering dirty things in my ear. This did not fly well with my boyfriend, who let out a wild scream, then proceeded to chuck the yaoi manga at Izaya like ninja stars. Izaya dodged all but the last one, which shaved off part of his hair. Half-bald, he ran away crying because his amazing hair had been ruined.
Shizuo laughed at him, then motioned at me to follow him. We went back to his place and spent another wonderful night together. This was the life...or so I thought. Little did I know I was soon to meet some real sickos...