I'm Alright.
Happy 17th Birthday Naruto!
A/N: Hello! This is just a fic I wrote in celebration for Naru's bday! A short excerpt of lyrics in the fic (not much, songs listed at the end.). Rated T for language. Starting is a bit dark. Slight hints of yaoi. NaruSasuNaru, but you can just view it as being really close friends. :D R&R please~ enjoy~
Disclaimer: I do not own anything about Naruto, but the plot of the following story :P
My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I turn seventeen today.
I hate today. Well I hated today.
Today was the day that I hated above every other. My birthday.
The day I was born, the day people hated.
I see them, I see them whisper and curse at me.
"See that kid? Yeah, the kyuubi."
"He brought terror to the village."
"He is evil."
"He will rampage once more."
"The day the Yondaime died for us."
"Its all his fault."
"He is a monster. I hate him!"
'"YEAH? WELL I HATE YOU TOO! BITCH!"
You see, I could have yelled that out to her. But it only proves her point. I keep my head down as I walk back from the Hokage Tower. Tsunade wanted to wish me happy birthday-
"Hey brat, happy birthday! Why so down? I got you some cake!"
She tried to cheer me up, a rather fruitless attempt. I faked a smile and did my usual gesture – scratching the back of my head. It's all an act. It has been an act for a long time already. My friends don't know, they wouldn't understand anyways. They watch me go about my everyday business just the same and no one expects a thing. But its okay I guess, I've never been the one to talk about my feelings anyways. So actually, I can't really call them friends right? I mean if they don't know the real me, and can't truly cheer me up? But they are happy. Well they seem happy with the company I provide them, so yeah, that's makes it okay, I'm alright.
"What are you talking about old hag? I'm fine! Thanks for the cake." I (try to) smile at her, give her a hug and make my way out of the door.
"Take care ok, kid?"
"Yeah, I'll try."
I'm at my apartment now, once again. Looks quite grey, I make a mental note to clean it sometime. (Sometime before I turn 50, heh.)
"Hello, I'm home…"
No reply. But its okay, I'm alright. Totally expected. Just this ritual I do every time I return.
The rustle of moving plastic bags are all I hear, covering the always empty silence. I set the small box down and sit, just looking at the prettily decorated box.
What a waste.
I slowly lift the pink lid up and a sickly sweet smell fills the area, and I look at the small cake. Brown with white icing – Probably a chocolate mud cake or something like that. The top was bombarded with an array of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" insane lettering, probably thought it was somewhat cool if I like that stuff.
Ok, maybe you are confused. Lemme clear things up.
My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I turn seventeen today,
I pretend to smile and be happy around my friends because I'm pretty sure it makes them happy.
Unknown to people, I don't like chocolate. Too rich for me.
I'm not that crazy.
I think I'm pretty good at acting.
I'm very lonely – just because you have people all around you doesn't mean you can't be, that's just another aspect of loneliness.
I miss someone. A lot.
But its okay, I'm alright.
I close the box, I'll give it to that stray cat outside, yeah he'd enjoy it more than me.
I open my cupboard in search for some ramen. Yes, DO actually love ramen. One of the few things in this world that gives me that jolly warm feeling in my tummy. Yeah, I like that.
"Fuck! I'm outta ramen! Noooooo!"
Great, just great. You know, just the day I loathe going out on I run out of ramen.
My stomach is protesting its emptiness and I'm outta food blaaahhh, I'm not eating that cake. Sighing, I pull on my grey hoodie, grab the cake, wallet and keys.
Stepping outside I hear soft mewls and I turn to see a familiar small timid cat. I bend down and place the miniature cake on the concrete floor.
"Here you go Kuto (Kushina+Minato, geddit?), come on." I coax the cat towards the cake and it slowly licks it, backs away, and then looks at me. Its dark eyes stare into mine and something in me stirs.
"Its chocolate that bad? Heh, your eyes remind me of his." The failed attempt to try to forget, I scratch the back of Kuto's head and soft purrs are heard. Kuto is another thing in this world that makes me feel warm. I love this cat.
I left Kuto with the unwanted cake and make my way through towards the streets. Hood up. Naruto down.
I sill hear their whispers. But its okay, I'm alright.
Ichiraku just closed not too long ago – after lunch, before dinner time, 3:45 P.M. Dammit, my time planning sucks. Oh well I'll go another day. I gotta stock up my pantry now anyways.
I quickly make my way dodging those staring eyes; I ignore them. The white, clean expanse fills my eyes as I walk into the supermarket. I like places like these. So big I can almost hide here; the maze of aisles, rows and rows of them. My hand drags along the shelves as I walk towards my instant ramen section. So kakoii I tell you, always such a hard time picking which ramen I wanna eat. I load and reload my basket, in my ever changing decision of "Spicy? Or Non spicy? Miso? or pork?" and finally end my decision with a "AH, ALL OF THEM!"
I quickly pay for my items still ignoring that scowl of the cashier guy. I see his eyes, I feel their glare. Quietly wanting him to speed his job up. I grab my stuff and hear him mumble.
"Monster."
Many people would ask,
"But didn't they already forgive you? Didn't they already accept you?"
Well, that's most people. There are always a remainder of the population who abide by their own beliefs strongly. Yeah they "respect" my power and etc. but they still hate me. They hate me for what I have inside. But its okay, I'm alright.
I still hear the whispers. But its okay, I'm alright.
I jog back to my apartment, cast a glance around for Kuto, and find him curled up in a cute ball right against my door. I step closer and his dark eyes open. I open the door and for the first time since he made his appearance to my apartment; just under a year ago, I left the door open letting him in. He looked at me inside and at the floor. His wet nose sniffs and he puts his paw just past the door frame and looks at me.
"you are so cute. Come in." I smile and close the door behind.
"I'm home…."
"Meow." I love this cat.
I like to talk to Kuto, he listens. Like actually sit there and watch me while I (insanely talk to him – talking to animals!) slowly reveal what I really am like. I open one ramen cup and take a whiff of the contents. Hm, not that hungry anymore…. Oh well. I spent a long time with Kuto. Just me lying down and him n my belly, just speaking my mind. My stomach once again protests it's emptiness, but I ignored it. The charcoal cat stood up and walked to the front door and gently raked it's paw on the door.
I wasn't that dumb, I open the door to let him out and make my way back to my bed. 7:25 P.M. now, I check my clock. The day is almost over! Joyous celebration. Thinking about celebration, why am I not having a party or hanging out with my friends you might ask? Because Tsunade-Baachan let me have the day off – meaning all my friends and teachers are working or out on fun missions while I get to rest. You know what? I'm going to take a walk. Yeah, by the seaside. One of my favourite places. Its getting a bit more chilly in October (and its also evening too) so not many people would be by the beach. I head out again. Hood up, Naruto down. And once again, for the billionth time;
I hear the whispers. But its okay! I'm alright!You'd think I'd one day snap at everyone. But I know that this is life! You can't change much, so I'll just accept it. I stroll on the pathway overlooking the water.
A pang of nostalgia hits me, as I look down onto the small wooden pier.
I know who used to sit there. But this time its different. There is no warm glow of the setting sun, there is no light breeze. This time there the water is lit by the luminosity of the moon, the water is quite still. There is no one there.
I make my way down the steps. Listening to the old pier creak under my weight. Taking off my shoes, I my feet dip into the cool water as I look out to sea.
Memories flooding back to me;
Blurs of navy, blurs of black.
Side by side we walk together.
Together.
I feel so small, so, useless. So many things I do end up in the negative. I can't do much right.
Remember the day, remember the night...
Remember the weekend walk to the coldest fight in the rain,
We said our goodbyes.
Honey my love washed out as you made up your mind in the rain… (1)
Sighing, I lifted my feet out of the water and held my shoes. Standing up, I turned my body to head back. Lifting my head to up to look at where I'm walking to, my eyes stop at a pair of feet. I close my eyes.
"I knew you'd be here." The familiar voice said, "Hello Naruto," my eyes slowly open, familiar body, familiar chest, familiar collarbones, familiar neck, familiar face. Familiar eyes.
"Happy Birthday Idiot." He held out a bag with something in it.
My eyes widen in shock as I take in his appearance. I just stood there, eyes slightly bulging. He smiles. Such a familiar smile.
"You wanted some Ichiraku ramen right?"
Super glomp.
Our two bodies clashed together as I tackled him into a bear hug.
"Woah! Idiot! You are gonna make me spill this!"
I twine my fingers through his hair as I held his head to stare at. With all force Kami could ever give me, I still couldn't stop smiling.
"I don't care bastard! You are here! You are freaking here!"
"Shhhh, I'm a missingfuckingnin! I had some Jounin tailing my ass when I came into a 4 kilometre radius of this over-protected city! Be quiet!" he chuckled at my uncontrollable hyperactiveness, and shoved me off him. Then suddenly he transformed into a very familiar cat. Charcoal, dark eyes, Kuto?
"WHAT THE SHIT!"
Kuto slinked around my legs and purred. His eyes bore into mine.
"Ohhhh," I bent down to put on my shoes and Sasuke sat next to me patiently. I still couldn't stop smiling. I grabbed the bag and started walking off the pier.
"Meow!"
Kuto/Sasuke called and I turned back to see what's wrong. Kuto/Sasuke clawed my jeans and stood on his hind legs leaning on me.
"Ah, lazy Sasuke!" I picked him up and started heading home.
I plopped Kuto/Sasuke down and opened my door, and walked in.
"I'm home…"
"Welcome home Naruto," He transformed back.
I smiled even bigger than before.
Sasuke and I shared the ramen, I was happy to share with him.
"I didn't know you like ramen too!"
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Naruto." He smirked
I shoved him off his chair.
"Oh and I got something else for you," He bit his finger and summoned something.
With a small poof, a white box sat in front of my eyes. I've never thought to use summoning for small things like this.
"You didn't like that chocolate cake this morning, and I thought you deserved one…." He drifted off. "So happy birthday, Naruto" Sasuke smiled. My thoughts went squishy… Gah.
"Stop that Sasuke!"
"Stop what?"
"Smiling!"
"Why?"
"Its so different!"
"And you blushing isn't?"
"What?" I barely noticed the warm tingles in my cheeks. Ahhh fuck. "I'm not blushing! It's the ramen!"
"The ramen isn't spicy… Its miso pork, your favourite…"
"…"
He cracked up in laughter and almost ended up rolling on the floor. But that's not Sasuke, so even its not possible, he laughed somewhat gracefully. I just blushed more… Whilst he comically dried a tear in his eye, he said,
"As I learned this morning, you aren't a fan of chocolate, and over-decorated cakes, so, here is my version of your birthday cake." He lifted the cardboard lid and revealed a cream coloured cake. The top was decorated with a simple golden piping that read
"Happy Birthday Naruto"
the way it was simple made it so beautiful. In my opinion at least.
I looked closely, around the base of the cake was in very small but intricate gold piping-
I've known you for 17 years, I'm still not tired of you. You are inspirational Naruto, superlative, and kickass. From Sasuke.
"You made this?"
"I enjoy to bake in my free time."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SASUKE BAKES!"
"I'm serious." He said unfazed.
"…"
"…"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SASUKE BAKES!"
I went to look for a knife in the kitchen, I came back to see the lights off and a candle placed in the cake. The warm glow of a single flame only accentuated Sasuke's handsome features. We sat there for a few minutes, I was taking in his slightly matured appearance. I've never said this out loud, but he is so fucking cool!
"You gonna make a wish?"
I smiled and looked at the candle.
I wish I can be friends with Sasuke forever. Just me and him. Like old times. Please.
I blowed out the candle and instantly I couldn't see anything.
I felt a warmth near my face and a smelt a foreign scent.
"Open,"
Mouth opened.
His clean finger wiped a dollop of icing onto my tongue and I closed my mouth, analysing the flavour. God that's delish.
"Flavour?"
"Vanilla. My favourite."
"Hn,"
"How did you know?" I questioned, still in the darkness feeling his warmth.
"Sometimes, you just have to pay attention. You are my best friend Naruto, how could I not?" My eyes finished growing accustomed to the darkness and I saw his face subtly lit by the moonlight. He was smiling. I was smiling.
We sat there for… god knows how long, just quietly talking through the night and picking around with the cake. I loved it. Every single second. I've never been so happy, so contented.
Sasuke abruptly stood up, and gestured for me to stand up too. Once I did, he pulling me into a hug. Shocked as I was, I hugged him back. Listening, knowing he was going to speak soon. I felt so secure. I comfortably rested my forehead in the crook of his neck, him being a inch or so taller than me. I relished the scent assaulting my senses. He smelt so, clean. Like rain. So pure, so natural.
Why can't we just stay like this forever?
"I'm sorry, Naruto."
"I knew that would come soon enough," I mumbled into his smooth porcelain skin.
"I'm sorry,"
"Its okay. I understand if you have to go..."
"Thanks. But I want you to listen carefully, and do not tell this to anyone. Absolutely no one."
"You know you can tell me anything, Sasuke. There's no doubt about it."
"I'm going to kill Madara."
My body tensed and I lifted my head to look into his eyes.
"Are you crazy? He's fucking Madara!-"
"Itachi told me something before the died. He gave me something too…"
I didn't question it, I knew I was better off not knowing excess information.
"So, I just need you to make sure Konoha doesn't do anything sudden okay? I've got it all planned out. Don't worry."
He felt my fear.
We made our way to the window.
"I just don't want you to end up dead Sasuke!"
"Don't worry."
He opened the window.
"I just need you to trust me, Naruto." I felt shivers down my spine.
"Yeah, but be careful."
"Don't worry about me, I want to know if you will be okay without me for a while."
He put one leg out of the window.
"its okay, I'll be alright!"
"That's what you always say." Can he fucking read my mind? "Listen…"
"Listening…."
"I want you to know Naruto, that I'll be back. But in the mean time, you gotta also know, that you are perfect in my eyes."
Your endless, deep, midnight eyes.
He carried on, "You are amazing, and there should be nothing bringing you down, you deserve the best there ever is. You are unbelievable. I savour every moment I'm with you till the last millisecond. You are magnificent, glorious, brilliant, wonderful, marvelo-"
"Stop it Sasuke!"
He laughed
Sitting on the window still now.
"And don't forget it Naruto, don't. Even if you are alone in your world, I'm always somewhere near, I'll always be your friend. Goodbye Naruto, I'll be back, soon. Happy birthday." He smiled and I was captured.
And once again I'm left in my empty apartment. His laughter echoed in my mind, his smile imprinted in my mind. I'm in my empty apartment. He left once more.
But its okay, I'm alright. Why?
My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I turn seventeen today.
I love my birthday.
I love someone too. I promise I will tell him that, when he comes back.
-Because I know he will be back.
FIN
A/N: AHH I love how it turned out! Do you? Sorry if there are typos…
Happy birthday Naruto, this is my (early) present to you! And readers, I hope you enjoyed it!
Review? Oh clearing this up, Kuto the cat is actually Sasuke. He visits Naruto sometimes, and this is the only way to disguise himself (LOL I know this totally isn't true. But oh well.) Here is a side convo:
"Call Kakashi and his team off, tell him he doesn't need to track Sasuke today."
"Yes Tsunade-Sama!" messenger darted off.
Naruto was too lonely. I'm sure I can trust Sasuke. He really has some light in him after all…
(1) Song is Remember the Day by Capital lights. I love this song!
ps. do you use tumblr? if so, go read my profile info. theres stuff for you.