Kakashi's Snapshots

As a jounin sensei, there are some things he's bound to notice about his genin.

Origin: This story was originally started by another author on this site, anjentine (fanfiction .net/u/1241968/anjentine) so if parts of it seem to differ in writing style, that's probably from the original story. I tried to edit those parts as little as possible, so most of it is untouched original material, but there may be a few added paragraphs inserted in between. Also, anjentine has a great Code Geass story up called tomorrow, so if anyone's interested go read it.

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies; if I claimed I owned Naruto, all the characters would probably come maim me or something because of my inability to find decent inspiration outside of the character analysis stories like the ones I've written so far. The original concept and idea, as well as a few paragraphs in the first and second part belong to anjentine.

When Kakashi first meets Team 7, he figures they have absolutely no chance of passing his "survival test" and would just add to his list of failed teams. After all, what chance does a ditsy fangirl, an arrogant avenger (who happens to be the subject of said fangirl's affections), and a hokage wannabe have of working together?

He's in for a surprise, though, when the arrogant avenger manages to ignore his instructions and share food with the hokage wannabe, even if it was just because he doesn't want the hokage wannabe to be a liability. Still, it's the sort of thing he's looking for, and that's good enough for Kakashi. Besides, there will be time to work on the more specific aspects of teamwork and friendship later.

Actually, it might be because he sees some sort of resemblance to his own genin team and wonders briefly whether the gods are smiting him for some offensive action he doesn't even remember doing, or maybe some offending excuse for his lateness by mocking him with what seems to be his old team reincarnated.

After telling them they pass, along with many accusations of him misguiding them and squeals of excitement, Kakashi actually takes the time to look at his team (because they are actually a team now, and not just some academy students that managed to pass the academy tests).

He sees a handsome young boy, hands in his pockets, and scowling, thinking about days long past and promises unkept. There's something about the way he carries himself, arrogant and proud, that reminds the silver-haired jounin vaguely of himself.

He sees an immature little girl, latching onto the boy's arm whenever she gets the chance, and squealing things like "Sasuke-kun!" and "You're so cool! Will you go out with me?" even as he tries to shake her off.

He sees a short blond, barely reaching up to his elbow, sticking his tongue out at the other male in the team and shouting death threats and stupid challenges like who can eat the most ramen in his direction.

In short, it is a raucous group of beginner shinobi who make their way down the streets of Konoha, but that's okay, because Kakashi can see that this team will accomplish great things. After all, he is their sensei, and the strongest bonds always start off a bit rocky than others.

After countless missions full of sweat, blood, tears, chasing cats, pulling weeds, and chasing said cat yet again, this is what Kakashi sees:

He sees the same young man as before, except Sasuke is no longer scowling, and the edges of his face have become more relaxed. He's found a new family, and it's a good one. Kakashi notices that the boy is holding his head higher, and (he doesn't know if it's just his imagination or not) there's a bit more spring in his step.

He sees that Sakura is no longer hanging onto her black-haired teammate's arms as if for dear life, but instead conversing with Naruto about something or other (Did Kiba really do that? Of course he did, Sakura-chan! Well, I wouldn't put it past him.) That surprises Kakashi a little, but not really, because they've all been through a lot and now the only form of violence the pink-haired girl shows toward Naruto is that of a light smack on the head or arm. There's always the short pause to ask her (stillcrushbutmaybeit'sgrownintosomethingbigger) dear Sasuke-kun if he's hungry, or if he found the conversation she and the blond were having interesting, and if he would like to join in.

He sees Uzumaki Naruto (futureHokageblahblahblah) because that's grown into part of his name now, and Naruto would be devastated and scandalized to hear it was left out, jabbering and yelling and pulling out his hair like the idiot he is, but that's okay, because he's found a family too, and this one won't shun him for something he doesn't even understand yet.

Kakashi's not oblivious to their attempts at seeing under his mask as they believe him to be, and in actuality, he finds their (admittedly futile) ideas quite creative. It is somewhat of a surprise that Sasuke joins in, but then again, Naruto does have rather unique methods of persuasion, some of which Kakashi doesn't even want to know about, after seeing Naruto's Sexy Jutsu...but then again, maybe he does want to know about it...

He also wonders, briefly, whether Naruto was the one who came up with all the ideas, what with the inviting him to ramen and then having each member of Team 7 tail him. And if he did, then he has severely underestimated Naruto's skills of planning and plotting which may become useful in the future if honed right. Then he reminds himself he doesn't really care (but he does).

He's not sure whether to feel amused or insulted with the fact that they apparently forget he's a jounin, perhaps a bit of both. But did they honestly think that he wouldn't be at least a little suspicious?

Kakashi thinks that one day he just might take his mask off to show them, for his entertainment only of course, it would be bad for his reputation if people began thinking that he was actually fond of his genin (even while he knows it to be true). Of course, it's times like this where he wonders just why he wears his mask anyways and decides that it brings good entertainment.

When Kakashi hears about Sasuke's defection to Sound, he's not quite sure what to do.

Even worse is when he hears that Naruto has gone after him. He's out the window and onto their trail before the Hokage can even finish her sentence, and he knows he could very well be punished for that, but at this point he just doesn't care.

All he can think about is that if Naruto dies, it would be completely his fault. At this point, all his regrets are flashing through his mind.

He should have paid more attention to Naruto's training...He should have trained Naruto personally instead of passing him off to Ebisu during the Chunnin Exams...He should have been glad that Naruto had an A-rank jutsu in his arsenal, in case anything ever happened to him.

And all of a sudden he feels grateful that Jiraiya decided to take Naruto under wing, even after he swore not to take on another apprentice, not after Minato-sensei.

Minato-sensei.

And just like that, with wide frantic eyes, Kakashi realizes the truth. It feels like a physical blow, and for a second, Kakashi stumbles, before he regains his footing, and goes, if possible, even faster toward the area where Naruto and Sasuke are supposed to be fighting. At least, he hopes they're fighting, because god forbid, fighting is better than dead, and he knows now that if Naruto died, he would never forgive himself.

Because Naruto is Minato's son.

Because Naruto is Minato's son, and Kakashi was too blind, too stupid to realize the truth, making him no better than the villagers and their little "demon brat". It's obvious once he actually looks at who Naruto is, but he has always pushed Naruto away in favor of Sasuke, blinded by his hope to repay Obito in some way, but what would Obito think of him now?

With that thought, Kakashi pushes off the last tree and sprints toward where Naruto's prone body is, lying on the ground, thinking the worst, but still hoping for the best (which at this point doesn't seem very good).

After the failed Sasuke retrieval mission, Kakashi tries to avoid visiting the memorial rock, too overtaken by shame and guilt to be able to visit those who had selflessly given themselves to their duty, but above that, their comrades. He doesn't know how he can face Obito and Minato-sensei after what he's done, and tells himself each day that he'll visit another day, that he's too busy today, or that he just can't. But as always, the guilt builds, and he feels even more ashamed of not visiting the memorial rock than for his actions before.

Kakashi lets himself loose that day. He collapses near the memorial rock and everything just pours out. How he truly believed he was doing what was best, how he should've seen that it wasn't so, how he had probably failed as a teacher more than the biggest failures in failure history.

And though he may be imagining it, he believes the rain may have let up slightly, enough to let a small beacon of light through, and in that light he sees the faces of his sensei and teammates. He doesn't know if it's a sign of him finally losing it, but he hears their voices.

Rin's, always with the sound of hero-worship, looking at him they way Sasuke's fangirls always looked at him, though thankfully she grew out of that into gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) chastisement and reprimanding.

Minato's, always so encouraging, so forgiving, so full of the affection for his pupil that Kakashi knows he could never deserve, and yet, Minato was and still is always unwavering in his beliefs that everyone makes mistakes and everyone can be redeemed.

And Obito's—and Kakashi's heart clenches painfully at the sound of it—loud, boisterous, always shouting a challenge of some sort, but now with a sense of maturity, telling him that he couldn't possibly have known, and he shouldn't mope around about it for the next hundred years.

Even if it is just Kakashi going a bit crazy, he can't deny that these voices affect him in a profound way that resonates within his very being. He feels a bit refreshed, and knows that he can change his ways starting now, change the way he teaches, and above all, change the way he values others, especially his comrades and teammates.

Three years later, and Kakashi can't help but admit, even if it's not within his right to do so, that he's proud of Team 7—all of Team 7. He won't admit it out loud, because he just knows it won't sit well with the public (Naruto), but to some degree, he's still proud of Sasuke, even if he has no right to do so.

Part of this lies with the fact that he was the one who indulged Sasuke in his need for power. If he had just restrained him, taught him about what true power was used for, perhaps things would be different. Maybe, just maybe, if Kakashi had shown Sasuke the value of teamwork, the value of working together, the value of being able to trust your comrades, maybe Sasuke would realize that revenge was not the most important thing in the world at the moment...

But there's no way to go back. No way to fix the fact that he all but shunned Naruto and Sakura to train Sasuke, to give him enough power to pursue his ambition, and possibly kill his friends and newfound family in the process.

Nevertheless, he can't help but feel some amount of pride whenever he sees how far the last Uchiha has come. Sasuke is talented. No doubt about that. He may not be the genius that Itachi was, but there is still a certain degree of skill that Sasuke has that allows him to rise up above the others who were in his academy class. Kakashi can't take credit for this, but he can take credit for helping Sasuke start off. To mold the clay, even if said clay has defects, and has probably been molded wrong. But it's the thought that counts, and Kakashi really did try. Of course, Naruto would be absolutely scandalized that Sasuke was getting credit yet again but...

Kakashi knows Naruto has the will and the power to surpass Sasuke. Maybe he isn't at that level yet, but Kakashi knows for sure that one day he will be.

He honestly can't claim teaching Naruto or Sakura anything, really, but he supposes the main thing that matters is that they were on his team...well that and bragging rights, as much as he has morals and a conscience, Kakashi's not really willing to pass up the fact that he had the future-Rokudaime Hokage on his team.

And yet no matter what he tells himself, he can't help but feel guilty. And he knows that that guilt is justified. It's something he deserves.

Everything Naruto learned came from Jiraiya; everything Sakura learned came from Tsunade; and just for the mix, almost everything Sasuke learned came from Orochimaru.

Kakashi laughs bitterly at the parallels. Here he is, with a team that has strange likeliness to his own gennin team, and even to the original Sannin team, and he neglects—almost outright refuses—to train what he immediately dubs in his mind as "the weaker two". Of course, hindsight is a bitch—this he knows more than anyone, and it seems he still can't learn his lesson—and he belatedly realizes that he was given, and had ignored, the chance to train what could have been the neo-Sannin team.

Sometimes Kakashi wonders...

He wonders what would have happened if he had restrained Sasuke, had shown him what true power was used for, had impressed more deeply the need for camaraderie over self goals.

He briefly entertains the thought of time travel and wonders what he would do if he could in fact travel back in time. He finds himself planning out every single detail of what would happen, how his team react, and how, ultimately, they would form the strongest team known to mankind. At some point, Kakashi realizes that there's nothing more he would wish for than a second chance, but then reality sinks in and he has to remind himself that there is no going back, no way to change things into what could have been.

And on his darker days he wonders if things could have been worse if he did actually try. Maybe Sasuke was too lost in the darkness to ever give up his need for revenge, and maybe keeping them together would have just strengthened the bond that was destined to break. And if he had done that, maybe it would have come off worse for Naruto and Sakura, and even himself.

Kakashi pushes these thoughts away, because he point blank refuses to believe that Sasuke is actually gone. He knows for a fact that one day Naruto will beat the sense back into him, and even though they may never be the same Team 7 that they were at one time, things will go back to being as normal as you can get in an ever-changing ninja world. Because what kind of sensei would he be if he didn't have faith in his students?

A/N: Well that's that. And I'm quite pleased with the result. I actually wrote most of it a year ago and then came back, reread it and was all like "I wrote that?". I will never cease to amaze myself :3.

Anyways, comments: this fic was mainly to indulge in a bout of Team 7-ness with a presumed happy ending that may or may not actually come (but hey, we can hope, right?). It's a much-explored concept, with what Kakashi really thinks of his first team, and what he sees in them, and I just figured I'd do my own version of it. I'm not really sure I got the point across with the whole second-to-last section about Kakashi being proud of Sasuke (or even Naruto and Sakura for that matter), so if there's any confusion, feel free to drop a review or PM (though I must admit, I wrote part of it then forgot where I was going with it a little while later, so I might not be able to clear things up too much xD). The last section can be considered a bit of foreshadowing to another story I might write later (ahemeventually), but that'll probably be once I decide to move into multi-chaptered pieces, which I'm not sure if I'll actually end up doing (or it might even end up as another one-shot as a companion piece once I figure out how that would work). For now I'll leave the interpretation of the meaning up to the reader's digression.

Once again, the conception of the story is credited to anjentine; I just played around with what was already started because I find myself sorely lacking in both inspiration and the drive to actually do something, so I was understandably much more eager to finish a story rather than start a completely new one (and who knows how I managed to get through Reverse Psychology by myself). That said, my next story (once I actually get around to writing it) will probably be an original, though I do have a whole list of unfinished stories I might end up wanting to finish, both from myself and other authors.

A happy birthday goes out to Kakashi, as I'm sure he would enjoy being the main character of a fic totally and completely dedicated to him, and a happy (or not-so-happy) end of summer to those of you who have ended up having to actually do something productive once again (and yes, I am one of those people).

As usual, all comments, criticism, and questions are welcome in the form of either reviews or PM's.

~chrishuyen

Word Count: 2,630
Posted September 15, 2010