Summary: Does Edward like being a father?
Disclaimer: So, yeah. I own nothing.
A/N: Pretty much pointless. But I'm taking requests for any other stories you guys want me to work on. So please, feel free to request.
I took my wife's waist firmly, driving her closer. Our lips never parting as our tongues danced with one another. The desire fresh in each other's taste, us intertwining into one with the same intentions. "Is Renesmee sleeping yet?" Bella's voice was quite muffled as I took her lower lip in mine several times, lowering her slowly onto the bed, her pulling at my hair.
"I'm a bit distracted at the moment." I replied with an even more inaudible voice. She giggled, only pulling me closer than we already were. I embraced in this action with ease, giving her everything she wanted. And her only returning the excitement we both yearned for.
I sat up, only for my shirt to practically be ripped from my chest. Bella laughed as I playfully frowned at the torn fabric now lying on the floor. She pulled at my belt, pulling me down.
"Daddy?" We both stopped with our actions, our ears flickering. We waited for her voice to say something else. Both of us well aware that she may just be dreaming of me and talking in her sleep. But in fact we were wrong. "Daddy, please come here." She begged with a shaking whisper, knowing that she would be heard.
I looked a tad disappointed as I sat up looking down to Bella. She only smiled up at me. "Do you want me to go?" She asked, tracing a finger up and down my firm stomach.
"Of course not. Ness asked for me, I should go." Kissing her forehead, I lifted myself from the bed. Not bothering to put my shirt back on, I walked from our room with nothing but a pair of jeans.
I was at her room in exactly 10 seconds since she called my name. Opening the door gently, I walked into her room seeing a sobbing little girl, clutching onto her sheets with a fast beating heart. I did not hesitate to join her by her side. And she did not hesitate to crawl into my lap.
She continued bawling into my chest. Shaking violently from her cries. I fought an urge to cry myself at the thought of her feeling sad. "What's wrong? Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I prompted her to answer but she remained silent. Waiting until she was calmed down, I asked again with a more edge to my voice. "Please tell Daddy what's wrong, so I can fix it."
"It's nothing you could fix." Her voice was so rough that a moment passed where I thought she surely must be sick. I pushed the thought from my mind.
"I can try." I said kissing her temple.
"Today at school, for Halloween, the teacher read us some scary stories." I wiped her tears away quickly, wiping her nose with the sheet. "At first they were cool. Nothing but ghosts and zombies. I didn't think they were really that scary so I just listened for the sake of the class. But then she moved onto the story about….vampires." She squeaked out the last part as if it pained her to say it. "And-and it was about a family, who drank blood…and-and-and…"
"Shh, darling." I rocked us both as she continued.
"Monsters. That's what the teacher called us, she called us monsters. Your not, Daddy. You and Momma aren't and neither am I. I wanted so badly to tell them how wrong they were. I couldn't th-though."
I thought of the times we had tried to explain to Renesmee, not to use her gift at school. Not to run too fast, or jump too high. That she could only eat normal foods, and not drink blood. All those times we were basically asking my daughter to not be who she was. Herself. We asked her a great deal of a lot the moment we had sent her off on the school bus. Everything building up to the point where it pained her to not be able to tell them of how her parents could run faster than a racecar. Jump higher than thought possible. Tackle an animal with such strength and snapping its neck with little effort. All the things Nessie would never tell the humans, but all the things she wished to share.
"I'm sorry." There simply was no other words to say. To show Renesmee just how much I felt sorrow for her that she had to endure this. I hated that.
Silence enfolded us for a long while before she spoke up again. "Daddy, will you walk me?" I would deny her no request. She loved being walked around the small cottage, and although small, we had ventured every corner of our home with interest. Often turning out the lights, and us three playing hide and go seek in the dark. Though my wife and I could easily smell her scent and hear her heartbeat, we played along anyhow.
"Of course." I picked up her up with ease, as her head fell onto my shoulder. Humming her lullaby, we walked around the cottage that I knew all too well. Bella had come out of our room and watched me from the kitchen table for a long time before I seated myself at the table as well. "What are you smiling about?" A grin pulling at my lips at the thought of my dear Bella finding something amusing.
She giggled quietly as my daughter's snoring continued on my shoulder. "We will never be able to assure her that there are no monsters under her bed." We both smiled just a little bit wider. It was true, to say at the least. We were considered monsters, but according to Renesmee, we were angels sent from God. "Edward, can I ask you a question?"
"Anything." I whispered.
She bit her lip, looking a bit uneasy which made me the slightest bit nervous. "Do you like being a father?"
The question caught me so off guard that I had to refrain from laughing out loud. What a silly question, but unfortunately Bella could not be anymore serious. There was no hint of laughter in her features, and this frightened me.
"What kind of a question is that?" I whispered.
"You didn't answer me." She said.
"To answer then, yes." There was no dishonesty in my reply. I truly did love being a father. To hold a little girl that I knew was half me, half my wife. Being called "Daddy" when ever she needed me, and to be kissed on the cheek before she went to bed. The look of pride she showed when she would see me win a wrestling match with her Uncle Emmett. If anything, I was the one to look up to her. But she didn't know that.
"I like being a mother too." Her eyes drifting to the sleeping child in my arms.
"Why did you ask that?" It was no longer pure curiosity that had me asking, but a bit of offense. Had Bella been doubting my love for being a father? Perhaps she came to the conclusions that I didn't enjoy the full package of being with her. Yes, we had our arguments, had our moments. But a child? Bella gave me a child that was a bit of a surprise. Neither of us knew that Renesmee was possible, but if we had, would we have prevented it? The thought made me cringe with disgust. A life with out my Renesmee was barely fulfilled.
"I'm not saying you act like you don't enjoy being one, but this wasn't planned. Edward, Esme put an extra room on the cottage just to be used for whatever we wanted, not to be used as a nursery for our daughter. The last thing that was going through Esme's mind was a baby. And I love Nessie with all of my heart and I thank the lord every night to giving me something that we didn't know we could have. Are we damned to hell? No. I believe everything happens for a reason, and Renesmee was certainly not planned but she was meant to be born. And we were meant to be the parents. I've never doubted your love for her, but I always wondered what goes through your head. What went through your mind when you held her for the first time? Or when you had to get up and leave from our bedroom to calm down a crying little girl? Edward, your in people's minds all the time, but what are you thinking?"
I couldn't come to say what was actually on my mind. To tell her that I in all honesty, I hadn't an answer. How is one to respond to a question such as hers? I certainly didn't know what to say, because I didn't know what should be said. I only wished that somehow that I'd been prepared for something such as this, in the past. But being that I can't look into my wife's thoughts as I can with everyone else, it was a surprise to me with every little thing she's done or will do.
I shook my head when my voice failed to say the words that I knew I wanted to say. But did I really want to answer that way? Such a tricky question Bella asked me, but I must answer at the fullest. I wanted to answer honestly. Nothing but the truth. Though speaking at the moment was trouble enough. "I love my daughter." I whispered, gazing down to the sleeping angel in my arms. A pumping heart with blood lay beneath her skin that still amazed me to this day. I melted in her embrace. "And," I continued quietly as Bella patiently awaited for my response. "I don't like to think of a life without her in it. I don't know if it makes sense, but a life without her, a life where she never existed…and though some say that you can't miss what you never had. But I know that if Renesmee was never born, we would never be…whole." My wife was nodding her head as she listened. It was reassuring to know that I had some sense in my words. "I love being a father because I am one. I love her because she is my daughter. If you had asked me two years earlier whether or not I wanted to be a father, I would have said no." She sucked in a sharp breath.
"Really? But right before the wedding, you said you wished that I could have a child, that we could conceive-"
"For you, love. Only for you. I was only thinking of the things you would miss once you were changed. And that meant not bearing children." My tone took a sad turn when I felt Nessie wrap her arm around mine, holding it tightly. It comforted me, but made me feel remorse at my own thoughts that I once had. "I'm a different person now. I'm not the same boy you met in Biology class, I am now a man. I once thought that I could never have a child, and so I never desired one. But now that I have her…" I took a strand of bronze curl and laid it neatly on the top of her beautiful head. "I realize now that I was made to be a father…a husband." I said as I took my wife's hand.
Bella never responded to what I said, but for the rest of the night she smiled from ear to ear. And as the weeks went by and our lives were filled with nothing but the joys of being with our daughter, I swear she looked at me so completely different.
She looked at me as a man.