Prologue
Was it really worth it? The images flashing before my eyes, running laps through my thoughts, and the nightmares that attack my slumber. I know it was my only choice if I was to follow my dreams, but was it really worth ruining somebody else's? Sometimes it's just certain images, other times seconds, minutes, horrifying hours of revisiting my past. Some people may have thought of me as a hero for saving little Thalia's brother, I don't understand their reasoning. I am nothing but a killer, a young boy of District 11, just wanting to follow his dreams and not pondering his consequences. A young boy who thought being a victor was the only way to achieve his goals, to pay for a stylists' education, to become a tribute's designer. He shocked many, was considered a life saver, thrilled the starving crowds of his district, but the games changed him. Instead of being the happiest man alive, because no district person has ever been able to follow dreams that were as outrageous as his, he was miserable. Never had he realized how terrible being a victor was. Never had it appeared to him that he would be the face of murderer to those poor families of children he had killed. Never had he considered that nightmares would take over his sleep and scaring images would fee his waking hours…
That boy was me.
Chapter One – Thalia
"You can't catch me!" Thalia shrieked as I chased after her.
"We'll see about that!" I called back , just a couple feet away from her. Stretching and taking extra-long strides, I caught up to her and picked her up by the waist.
"Cinna!" she shrieked some more as I twirled her around in the air.
"Is something wrong?" I asked, playing stupid, and completely stopping twirling. Carefully I plopped her down on the ground.
"Not that I don't like it when you do that, but I have to go! My mom is waiting by Apple Orchard Number 4!" she said.
"Oh alright, I guess you can go!" I said pouting.
"You know I'm sorry! It's just that you know what tonight is!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Thistle's having her baby and you had to leave her side for your shift picking strawberries and you took her shift picking grapes. Run along now! I know you'll make a great aunt." I reply with a smile.
"Thanks Cinna! You're the best!" I kiss her on the cheek and she runs off, her long blonde curls flowing behind her in the wind.
Smiling to myself, I think about how perfect she is. Being in District 11, she kind of sticks out like a sore thumb. While mostly everyone here is dark skinned with black hair and brown eyes, Thalia has light skin and beautiful long blonde curls. Her crystal clear, blue eyes shine like the sky. She may be different, but from the moment I saw her, I knew she was right for me. The two of us, just twelve years old, are a perfect couple and always will be. She is the love of my life and I would do anything to protect her. Thistle, One of her older sisters, was having her first baby while we were in the fields this morning and I could tell that was where her heart was at the time being. Every time she turned around I had been adding strawberries to her basket, so that she could finish quicker. I don't mind the extra work. Anything for my Thalia.
I wonder how Thistle is doing. I know she is going to be a fantastic mother, just by the way that treats her sisters, even by the way that she treats me! Food is scarce in their house and they usually go to bed hungry. But if you re poor and have a wide stretched family that is growing with hungry mouths to feed, you are going to be hungry. I mean, Thalia has 13 sisters! Her parents passed away due to disease years ago, so it had just been her sisters all this time. There's Gemma(24 with a one year old baby), Thistle, (22 and is having a baby right now), Melody and Willow (twins, 20), Autumn (18), Summer, (17), Sunny (15), Merida, Ember, and Scarlette (triplets, 14), Thalia (12), Ever (9), and the youngests, Meadow and Lillian (twins, 6).
Judging by the sun, it was getting late, almost 5:30, and I was going to Thalia's home to visit and see how Thistle was doing around 6:30. Shoot. I forgot to get food ready so I could just grab it and go when I get home! Collecting myself, I start the walk home, deciding on what I should bring to Thalia's for rations.
Stumbling, I walk home. Within ten minutes, I arrived at my doorstep. My parents were still in the fields, since today was the day of their extra shift. Next to the door, I slide my feet out of my shoes. The worn leather had molded to my feet and holes threatened to break through at any moment. Our one floor home has a small kitchen, a living room with a rickety, old television used for the mandatory Capitol viewings, suchas The Hunger Games, a large cot for my parents to sleep, a tiny bathroom with only cold water, and if you climb a latter, there is a small loft that is my room.
The rungs of the latter are familiar to my nimble fingers as I climb swiftly up to my room. It is no effort to me, since I climb trees all the time in the orchids.
In my room, I finally can relax. Later on this evening I will stop by Thalia's house and visit Thistle. I make a mental note to remember to bring some food.
Turning around, I see my fabrics. Colors upon colors stacked up in the corner of my loft. The sewing kit beside the table. The endless colors of thread. It all brings a grin to my face. My dream is to become a stylist for The Hunger Games. To be praised and famous for my designs that tributes can model! It is a dream that shouldn't even be thought of, living in District 11. The wind breezes through my window, flipping open the cover of my sketchbook and landing on a random page. Some of my colored pencils roll onto the floor and I see the sketch it opened to. It was my latest design. A red, floor length gown that blazes with fire around the skirt when the model twirled. Sparkles created the sleeve and I thought it was quite beautiful. But, I could never have enough money to afford to make it. All of the supplies I currently have were a present from a rich relative I had that died years ago. That's when the idea struck me.