"Never again" I screeched slamming the door to the lodging house and
storming into the room. "Another fight with Spot?" my best friend Patch
asked me. "Not that you need to answer that since we all could hear you
two screaming at each other from in here" Clink said. I scowled at them,
"he's a jerk, I don't know what I ever saw in him." The majority of the
room rolled their eyes. "In other news" Copper started "your not the only
one having troubles in paradise" she indicated upstairs. I stopped my
ranting long enough to hear faint yelling from upstairs. It sounded like
Shasta and Jack. "Yeah well relationships are highly over rated anyway"
I said bitterly kicking the counter where Kloppman usually stood. "They
never work out, why every one thinks they're so great is beyond me." I
continued. I turned around looking for some support, but found half the
people in the room making out and the other half trying to discreetly
leave. Patch looked up from her embrace with Kid Blink "Maybe your
relationships don't work out, but some people's do" she said with a
gooey look to Blink. I stifled a scream, and went upstairs into the room
where us girls stay, I had been right, it was Jack and Shasta fighting, not
caring that I was interrupting I threw myself on my bed pouting. "Do
you mind?" Jack asked "we're trying to fight here" "Not at all" I said
rolling over and staring at them "please, feel free to continue" Shasta
gave me a death look as Jack dragged her out of the room, yelling the
entire way.
"July wake up" someone hissed quietly. I opened my eyes, a form taking
shape next to me. "Jack is that you?" I asked, not waiting for an answer
I looked outside "It's not even light out yet what the hell is your
problem?" He looked at me "Get dressed, I wanna talk ta ya, go out onta
the roof" I stared at him stupidly but before I could respond he was
halfway across the room, quickly picking his way through the mess we
had left. I sat up wondering what Jack could possibly want to talk to me
about. It wasn't the first time I had been awakened in the middle of the
night, hell spot's goons were always coming in and telling me to meet
spot at the bridge for night long make out sessions or poker games, or
some nights, both. I jumped silently off the top bunk landing on a pile of
clothes, I rooted through them and pulled out a wrinkled blue dress,
probably Patch's who slept under me, definitely not Jewel's, who was
sound asleep to the left of me. All her clothes were folded or hung up
neatly. I quickly wove my way through the mess with ease, since I had in
part created it I knew what was where. I got changed, and brushed my
hair not caring much about how I looked. Trying to wake myself up I
splashed some cold water on my face and crept out the window.
Jack was there already, having had the head start. He was staring off in
the distance. I cleared my throat rather loudly, he came out of his daze
and turned towards me. "What is it Kelly?" I asked "Listen, I know it's
late" he started, yeah well no kidding, I figured it had to be no later then
1 in the morning "But I had to talk to youalone" I eyed him "what
about?" he looked at me in a way he hadn't in a long time, this intense
gaze, that forced me to look back at him. "I can't stop thinking about
last year." I tore my gaze away. "What are you trying to say Jack?" he
continued to stare at me and came closer "you know Shasta and I are
having problems, and I heard you say you were never gonna go out wit
spot again" I looked at him again "yeah and?" "I was wonderin if you
still cared about me-like you used to, cause I wanna get back wit you." I
bit my lip so hard it started to bleed and almost choked on my tounge.
"Jack are you serious? We went out a year ago, you cheated on me
remember why would I be stupid enough to set myself up for that again.
Besides." He wasn't listening to my futile arguing. "Think about it" he
said kissing me softly, and leaving the roof.
I stood there, brushing my fingers over my lips, they tingled just like they
used to. Finally regaining some control of myself I re-entered the
bunkroom, all the girls still sound asleep. Knowing I wouldn't be able to
fall asleep anytime soon, I took out my journal and slipped off my boots,
bear foot I padded back up to the roof and sat down. Twirling my blonde
hair absent-mindedly I picked up the book from my lap, my still
trembeling fingers dropping it. I looked down, it had opened to the first
page, against my will I started to read.
August 4, 1898
Today's mine and Derek's fourteenth birthday, We had a good time and
got some great stuff from everyone who came to our party. Mother says
that we're two of the most spoiled children and that it's all Father's fault,
but she never does anything to stop him.
The party was held late tonight but the fun started when we first woke
up.
"Miss Ashli..Miss Ashli do wake up." Greta, my maid begged me, giving
me a light shove. I stubbornly rolled over ignoring her. "Miss Ashli if you
don't get up right now I'm going to make sure you can't attend that
party, that's what I'm gonna do." I opened my eyes, realization dawning
on me "It's my birthday" I screamed happily jumping up on the platform
bed clad in my white silk nightgown. "Forgetting about me already are
you?" Derek asked walking into my room already dressed and ready for
breakfast. "Never" I said with a grin, untangling my feet from the masses
of twisted sheets, I jumped on him giving him a hug. Greta laughed and
pulled me off Derek "Go get dressed dear" she said shooing Derek from
the room. I hurridly pulled on the forest green dress as Greta entered the
dressing room and began to button up the back. I studied her reflection
in the mirror in front of me, brown hair going gray in some spots, up in a
bun already falling out, a cute face with wrinkles around her green
shining eyes. I compared her to my own, long blonde hair and aqua
eyes. I was still short at 14, 5'0 exactly while already Derek was 5'6.
"How old are you?" I asked Greta after examining us both in the mirror.
"Never mind that" she said playfully swatting me with the hairbrush she
had used to put my hair Into the french braid it was now in. I smiled at
her, and ran out of the room, skidding to a stop when I reached the
stairs. Derek was waiting for me as I hopped onto the banister and slid
down knocking us both to the floor when I reached the end and went
flying off.
We walked into the We walked into the dining room together, mother and father were
already seated and ready to be served. Father was reading the paper
when we arrived, something he does every morning. Daddy's the Mayor
of Bridgewater which is where we live, Mother stays home with Derek
and me, when she can but she's always running off to her women's club
meetings and social events with Father. They looked up when we came
in "Happy birthday darlings" mother said enfulging us in a hug, she was
the sweetest lady "a real catch for that wild Cosimano" I heard one man
describe her. Derek and I got our looks from her. Even at 40 she was as
stunning and beautiful as she had been in the photographs from their
wedding.
Derek and I sat down as Jorge our butler came out with two plates of
steaming French toast and bacon setting them down in front of us. We
finished quickly and were sent off to school.
Derek and I go to a private school on the east side of Bridgewood near
where we live, so we often walked to school instead of getting a ride
from Phillip. "I'll race you to the end of the street" I challenged Derek.
He sighed but adjusted his books and said "alrightGO!" when we reached
the end of the street we were both out of breath laughing. He had
beaten me by a second. We calmed down by the time we got to school.
Kids were all over the sprawling front yard of the school, I spotted my
best friend Lindsey sitting by the fountain and dragged Derek over with
me to say hi. "Happy birthday!!" she exclaimed when we she saw us. It
was like that all during school, Derek and I were well known because of
our father's job. When we got home we were sent up stairs to do our
homework and to change out of our school clothes. Derek came into my
room asking for help with his math, I took the sheet from him and
showed him what to do, and handed him the science homework. For the
life of me I couldn't understand that stuff. We finally finished and set all
the books aside, as Greta kicked Derek out again to go get ready and set
to work on me. I smiled into the mirror as I pulled on a white dress that
flowed in silky waves. She put my hair up adorning it with baby's breath
and stepped back to admire her work. Derek knocked on the door, I
opened it with a huge grin. The door bell sounded as we made our way
down stairs.
The party was beautiful, the parlor was covered in roses and the furniture
gleamed more the usual. We danced the night away till it was 1 in the
morning and the last guest had left. Mother smiled at us "Off to bed with
you two now" I frowned slightly I couldn't possibly sleep. "I want to
keep dancing" I said spinning across the floor. Father picked me up like I
was still a little child and carried me upstairs "ahh but you must princess"
he set me on my bed and kissed my forehead leaving the room.
August 10, 1898
They're gone!! I'll never see them again, my mother and father are dead
and so Is Derek, I don't know what I'm going to do, my family is gone,
why didn't I go too, why am I still here? Why did god do this to me
why??????
The day started off same as any other weekend day. Derek and I slept
late and went down to breakfast. Normally Mother and father were done
by then as usual. We took our seats as Jorge, brought us our meals.
Mother came out of the kitchen followed by Nancy the kitchen maid.
Nancy was carrying a picnic basket and mother was talking to her
briskly. "Have Phillip put it in the carriage Nancy dear, we'll be out
shortly. "Good morning children" She said addressing Derek and me.
"Good morning mother" we said. "What's going on?" Derek asked.
Normally I'd be as curious as he was but I wasn't feeling very well at all.
I pushed my plate away from me. "Your father is taking the day off,
we're going on a picnic across the baywhy Ashli dear, whatever is the
matter, your paler then a sheet." I felt hot and started to shake "I don't
feel too well." I mumbled. Mother felt my forehead "My god your
burning up, we best get you to bed." I tried to stand but was so woozy I
almost fell over. "Charles get in here!" mother yelled to daddy, who came
in, took one look at me and picked me up carrying me upstairs. I had a
temperature of 103 and mother said that the picnic would have to be
canceled. I hated to do that to Derek I knew how much he loves to go
fishing with father in the bay. "You still go." I said "it'll only make me
more upset if I make you guys miss out." Mother got that concerned
look on her face. "We wouldn't think of it honey." Derek stood on the
other side of the bed I turned to him. "Derek go, Greta can take care of
me, pick me some of the tiger lilys so I can have them with me, you know
they make me feel better and only grow on the other side of the bay." He
looked at me and then at mother. "Please, go have fun for me." I said.
So they went, leaving me with books and games I could do when I
wasn't sleeping. They said they would be back by supper time, crossing
the bay at night was a bad idea, there was this one area that was thinner
and covered with sharp jagged rocks. You needed light to maneuver the
boat through it safely. By 8:00 they weren't back yet, I was feeling a
little better, Greta was convinced that it was just a 24 hour virus. By the
time 8:30 rolled around I was feeling sicker then ever and it wasn't a
virus. 9:00 I was beyond worried and petrified so against Greta's word, I
got dressed and walked out by our side of the bay. I couldn't see
anything and could only make out a small part of the island across the
fog. "Where are they?" I asked myself. The night was cold and stormy
fog covered every inch of ground around me. Thunder sounded and I
watched the streak of lightening fly through the air. My family was out
there somewhere. It started to pour as Greta came running out of the
house yelling for me to get inside. I let her drag me in, my blonde hair
matted in my head. I sneezed, and tried to cover it up but it didn't work.
Greta drew me a hot bath and told me to stay there till I was warm
again. I did as she said but it was 10:00 and my family still wasn't back.
"they're probably hiding it out in a cave somewhere" Greta said
reassuringly, Cosimano Bay Island was known for it's caves, and little
waterfalls, so I nodded. Greta sent me to bed, knowing full well I
wouldn't be able to sleep, but she said I could at least rest till we found
out more. I really was tired and started dozing off and before I knew it I
was asleep. A knock at the door woke me up. I looked out the window,
it was still raining. I heard voices downstairs, sure it was my father I ran
down the stairs stopping dead in my tracks when I saw a poliice officer
standing there holding his hat in his hand with a sorrowful expression on
his face. "I'm really very sorry it's a horrible loss to Bridgewater." And
with that he left. Terrible loss? What loss? "what's he talking about?" I
asked with a confused look, surely they weren't talking about my family.
Jorge closed the door and looked at me slowly, tears glistened in his
eyes. I shook my head no, It couldn't be, I wouldn't allow it. "Oh honey
I'm so sorrythey got stuck in the fog, the boat went down in the rocky
pass last night, they all drowned." I shook my head again "no, your lying
to me, I know you are!" I ran from the room and out to the water it
wasn't true, it couldn't be. And yet it was. And that's how I killed my
family.
They're funeral was held two days later in my back yard, Everyone from
the town came, all with apologies and their sympathy, bringing food and
flowers like any of it meant anything, my family was gone and they were
bringing casserole like it would replace them. How much did they think
one girl could eat all by herself. And that's what I was, alone.
The sheriff who had found my families bodies was there too, he had a
handful of tigerlillys that he said were in Derek's hand, trust Derek never
to forget a promise. And then it was all over, the three Mahogany
coffens were placed in the ground never to be seen again. Then there
was only one question left, what happened to me?
I wandered downstairs from my room in a daze of sorts, it seemed
routine and that's all I have now. Some men were in a conversation in
the sitting room when I walked in, I was used to strange men being in
the house now, the last few days had been filled with strangers. "She
has an uncle in New York that we could send word to." One said. "I
don't know he's a bachelor and probably wouldn't have had much
experience with little girls." Another threw in. I struggled to remember
who I knew that lived in New York, I had been there once before when
daddy brought me and Derek for our 12th birthdays. "It couldn't hurt to
ask, Frank I believe his name is, Frank Burns." Mother's half brother, I
remembered. I met him that one time in New York and didn't like him
that much though we only saw him that once. "She has no other
relatives that we know of, her grandparents died years ago and her
parents had no siblings but Frank." The men looked at the guy who
seemed to be in charge. "It's settled then, the child should be with her
blood relative." I didn't like being talked about like I wasn't in the room
but didn't say anything, instead I just went into the kitchen and sat down
at the table. I wasn't eating much lately but I was hoping it would take
my mind off going to New York. Two weeks later a telegram came saying
to send me over, I was packed up and ready to go by the end of the day.
I knew the lawyers and social service people just wanted to be rid of me
and move on with the next case so I didn't take a long time saying good
bye to everyone. Leaving Greta was the hardest. "I wish you could come
live with me but they just wouldn't allow it." She said wiping a tear off
her face. I nodded not knowing what to say. "You keep in touch
though." I nodded again, the men at the door were getting impatient. I
threw my arms around Greta "Goodbye, I love you." And then walked out
the door and into the waiting carriage.
We got on a train and rode first class to New York, stopping every once
and awhile to change trains. Finally Mr. Carroll and I made it to the New
York train station. While we waited for my luggage he explained to me
how my finances would work. Since I was the only survivor of my family
the money would be mine when I turned 15 till then the bank of
california was holding it. They would use whatever nescessary to keep
the house mine. Unless when I was 15 I decided to sell it, which I doubt
will happen. I asked what happened to my parents and Derek's stuff and
Mr. Carroll said it was all put into storage for now, our luggage came then
we stopped talking. We pulled up at an apartment building in Queens,
Mr. Carroll got my suitcases and walked me inside. We found Uncle
Frank's apartment and knocked on the door. I knew from the moment he
opened the door unshaven and dirty that this was going to be bad.
"Huh wha? What do you want, I won't buy anything." The man at the
door said moving to close the door. I shrunk back a little, the man was
dressed in ripped clothes that had dirt streaks everywhere, his hair was a
mess, and it looked like he hadn't shaved in a month, surely they weren't
planning on leaving me alone with this man. "My name is Mr. Carroll sir,
and this is your niece Ashli." Mr. Carroll said putting a hand on my
shoulder and pulling me forward gently. I looked up at Uncle Frank in a
mix of wonderment and horror. "What? Oh oh right, I thought that was
Wednesday." He grumbled. "It is Wednesday." I said softly, I was
imposing on this man, I wanted to go back to California immediately but
Mr. Carroll's hand on my shoulder kept me firmly in place so running was
not an option.
Uncle Frank opened the door the rest of the way, unchaining the lock, and let us in to the dimly lit room. I gasped a little my room was bigger
than the room we were standing in now and it was the main area. Mr.
Carroll looked around, and clucked his tounge a little and looked for a
moment like just maybe he would take me back with him. But his face
clouded over and instead he mumbled "god go with you child." And left.
I stood timidly by the door, "come here, get your bags, your not little
miss rich anymore and I won't be cleaning up after you." He said. I did
as he said. "Follow me, from now on, it's your responsibility to take care
of the things around here, and you can start with dinner." He led me to a
tiny room no bigger than the broom closet back home. "I eat at 7 o'clock
exactly so get your crap unpacked and get working." I couldn't breath, I
was in total shock "butbut I've never cooked before." I said shrinking
back a little. "Learn." He said sharply before slamming the door shut. I
fell back on the narrow bed, absorbing it all in what was I going to do?
I know it's been months diary but I have no time to write anymore.
Looking back now, I see that the first night was the easiest. What would
I give to just have to do the cooking and cleaning now. Instead of being
the free entertainment for anyone who comes along. A week after I first
came to NY, I was settling into the pattern of NY time, and waking up at
5:00 to make breakfast and clean the house. By the time I was done it
was time for lunch. Frank only left once he ate lunch locking me in my
room. He'd be gone for hours before coming back at 7:00 for his dinner
often bringing friends with him, and always plenty of alcohol. He
ordered me around, like a bar maid having me bring drink after drink till I
thought there was no way I could walk anymore and I just prayed they'd
pass out soon. But the drunker he got, the more violent, I had bruises up
and down my arms from his deadly grips and punches. One day he lost a
lot of money to someone in a poker game, he didn't have the money to
pay, so the man said he'd take me for the night and that's how I became
the whore of Queens.
I pushed aside clothes in my dresser looking for something relatively
clean but there was nothing. All my clothes were ripped and tattered,
stained with alcohol and sizes too small. I sighed and just kept what I
had on. "ASHLI!" Frank barked from the other room. I opened the door
and shuffled out, my head down. 'Yes?" I asked, my blonde hair falling
limply over my face. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." He snapped.
I looked up, his eyes were the color of ice, fittingly describing his soul.
"Get us some beer." I nodded and walked the few steps to the kitchen. I
got the drinks and walked back out where Frank and some men were
sitting around a table. I'd seen them all before, all except one. The new
man stared at me making me feel uneasy, I shifted from foot to foot
waiting to see what Frank would want next. The man picked up a piece
of my hair fingering it, "you're a pretty one." He commented. He handed
frank some money. "Right over there, first door." Frank said. I let the
man drag me into the room, surprised at how jaded I had become, I knew
what was going on but a few sharp blows from Frank told me there was
nothing I could do about it, now I hardly cared.
I'm pregnant, Frank is really mad about it too. Like it was my fault
somehow. I started getting really sick in the mornings, Frank beat me
something awful the first day for not getting up and having his breakfast
made. The blood ran off my head from the bottle he hit me with. It got
worse from there, I never thought it would hurt so much. I cried myself
to sleep each night, having a child was supposed to be a happy good
thing, instead I didn't even know whose it was. It wasn't fair, what had I
done to deserve this.
I walked into the kitchen holding my back, doubling over from the pain I
grabbed onto the small table. Taking three eggs I made a mental note to
remind Frank that we needed more. I fried the eggs, making coffee and
toast at the same time and set it down on the table. I walked to the
bottom floor and to the door smoothing my hair a little, fixing my apron
over my stomach which was becoming rather big and looked down the
street for a newsie to buy Frank's morning paper from. Normally the
same one was by our apartment each day but he was no where in sight. I
cursed, Frank would kill me if his paper wasn't waiting for him. I walked
down the street a little in my bare feet having outgrown my shoes some
time ago. Turning the corner I came face to face with a boy in a spotted
shirt, red-ish suspenders, a cane and slingshot and the biggest smirk I've
ever seen. "oh, excuse me." I muttered, his eyes captured my attention
and I finally realized I was staring. I noticed the stack of papers under
his arm. "Are you a newsie?" I asked. "No, I hold these for my health, of
course I'm a newsie." He replied looking me up and down, raising an
eyebrow. "A little young for that ain't you?" I grabbed a paper ignoring
the question and gave him a penny. "I'se." he started before Frank
approached us. "you little whore, I told you never to leave the house,
what the hell are you doing?" he seethed all but dragging me back to the
building. "Hey, what are you doing?!" The boy exclaimed following
Frank. I shook my head at him, Frank would kill that boy happily. "She's
crazy in the head, dangerous to be around." Frank said and slammed the
door shut. The second we were alone in our apartment he back handed
me so hard I was knocked out cold.
He killed my baby. The only person I had in the world he took away from
me.
I had a boy, I named him Derek Anthony. The lady from next door came
over to midwife. Frank told her I had run off and gotten married only to
have my husband die a week later leaving me pregnant and the lady felt
so bad she offered to help. I thought nothing would make up for the
nine months of hell carrying him had been, but just holding him in my
arms was enough. I couldn't get over how much he looked like my father
and Derek. I guess I was drugged up because I had it in my mind that
Frank didn't mind this anymore that he was as happy as I was. But that
wasn't the case, as soon as Mrs. Simms left he took Derek from my arms.
I was still in bed weak, and unable to move. I had lost a lot of blood and
Mrs. Simms said it was a miracle that Derek and I both made it through it
alive especially since I was still healing from "the accident that took your
husbands life"
"Where are you taking him?" I asked "What you didn't think I'd let you
keep the brat did you?" he asked sneering. "Frank, what are you talking
about, what are you going to do?" I asked panicking. "Don't worry about
it." He snapped. "FRANK!" my voice shot up a few notes. "Where are you
taking my baby?" He laughed, a pure evil laugh and left the room. I
sobbed uncontrollably, hyperventilating.
I slid off the bed and crawled to the kitchen, taking the knife I cut one
wrist but fainted before I could cut the other.
I woke up a few days later, not able to understand why I was still alive.
Turns out Mrs. Simms came over to check on me and found me lying on
the floor in a pool of blood. Frank came back and told her Derek had died
and he had brought him to the doctors leaving me alone thinking I would
be ok. I couldn't even cry any more, nothing was going my way.
Something was nagging at my brain, today was something that used to
be important. It finally came to me. It was my birthday.
It was hard to believe that only a year a go I was still happy, surrounded
by my family and friends and no one treated me badly. I closed my eyes
willing myself to sink into my pillow and disappear. 15, I was supposed
to be happy, and warm and safe at home. Not with an uncle who abused
me, and was now dancing around in the living room already on his 8th
drink because a letter came in the mail saying the Cosimano estate now
belonged to me.
Two weeks later things had changed, for Frank anyway. His clothes were
all new, more people came over for longer times all new friends attracted
by the money. One night after counting the money as he did every night
he looked to me while I was cleaning off the table and snickered. "Just
wait till I sell that house of yours, it should bring in a good amount." He
locked the safe and reattached the key to his belt. "no" I whispered.
"You can't, I won't let you." He looked at me like I was the dumbest
person he'd ever seen. "You, little girl can't do anything to stop me." He
turned to step into his room but stopped suddenly grabbing his arm. He
fell to the floor his face twisted in pain. "Ashli, get help" He gasped. I
started for the door and stopped turning on my heel. I had two options
get help or take what belonged to me and get out. And When I thought
about it, it wasn't really even a decision. I walked over to him, he was
sweating bullets "why *pant* haven't you *gasp* gone yet?" he asked. I
smiled sweetly half out of my mind but seeing things with clarity and
took the key off his belt. "wha" he started but had a spasm and couldn't
continue. I took the money and put it in a bag along with the official papers and walked towards the door again. "Youcan'tdothis" Frank
gasped out. "You, uncle, can't do anything to stop me."
I walked around New York City seeing things I've never seen before,
enjoying the freedom. I had forgotten what it was like to be free. I had
no idea where I was, or where I was going but I knew one thing: no one
would ever hurt me again.
I finally fell asleep on a statue of a man, I wouldn't know where I was
even if it was light, but I didn't care. I woke up early and went into a
store buying some stuff I'd been needing, including a bag to keep
everything in. I needed a place to stay I knew that much. And in case
Frank lived a place to hide. The first place he'd look would be California
so I figured I'd be safest to stay in NY where he wouldn't be expecting
me to go. I wandered over to a restaurant where I'd seen a lot of people
going. Opening the door I stopped to take it all in. "Hey come on in, we
don't bitewell not most of us anyway." A girl said with long brown hair
and soft brown eyes smacking an Italian looking boy on the head. I
looked around cautiously, I hadn't seen any of them before, and I prayed
they didn't know me too. I stepped into the main part of the restaurant
holding my head high. "Hey, I'm Patch!" the girl exclaimed. I panicked
for a second trying to think of a name, then thought back to what my
father used to say. "If you had it your way Ash every month would be
July." "I'm July" I said shaking her hand. She introduced me to
everyone, my head was spinning with names. "You becoming a newsie?"
someone I think her name was Pigs asked. I thought about it, and
nodded "it was my intention." I said still not willing to commit to
friendship. She smiled. "Great you can stay with us girls at the lodging
house!" I nodded and looked around at everyone trying to figure out if
any of them were a threat. "That's a nice dress." Key said looking at it. I
swallowed, I forgot newsies were supposed to be poor. "Yeah I found a
few bucks the other day and decided to go shopping." I lied. "Wish I was
that lucky" Jewel said smiling. A guy with dark hair, Bumlets I think, put
his arm around her.
The bell rang above the door and a boy with a cowboy hat and bandana
came through the door. "Hey Cowboy look we got a new girl here."
Patch's boyfriend Blink said. He stepped down "so we do, I'm Jack." He
said spitting in his hand and holding it out. I'd seen newsies do this
before outside Frank's window, I spit in my own hand. "July" I said
shaking his hand. He had warm eyes that sparkled down at me. I cleared
my throat and looked away. He grinned. "I'll show you to the lodging
house."
Selling papers is just about the hardest thing ever, how they do it every
day is beyond me. By the third week I bought my papers and just threw
them away. I didn't pair up with someone like everyone else did
although a lot of them asked me to. I wasn't sure if Frank had died that
night or not, till one day flipping through the paper I saw a single
paragraph, not more than a few sentences, the headline read "Local
Queens man, found dead in apartment." It was over, I was free, I
couldn't believe it, but still I wasn't about to trust people I had just met.
I think they were catching on to me after a month, Jack gave me weird
looks over dinner, he was cute, and cocky and so sure of himself. I ignored him, trying to ignore the feelings I had for him sure they would
go away, I would make them go away. But I couldn't make him go away
and it was a problem.
"Hey July" he called running over to me after I had bought my papers. I
stopped walking letting him catch up. "Mush found a new girl, and is
selling with her today, so I don't have a partner, wanna be mine?" he
asked. I didn't want to seem rude, and I was more at ease with him then
I was with most of the other guys so I smiled the best I could and
nodded. We continued walking, not talking much. Every time he stopped
to sell a paper I stuck a few of mine somewhere, only selling when
someone asked for one. "Hey your pretty good" he said noticing my
depleated stack. I nodded. "Did you do it back home?" he asked. I
stopped, I couldn't let him ask questions, no one could know what I had
been. "Uh, yeah.something like that." I said quickening my step.
He caught up with me. "We have to bring you to meet Spot, he's the
leader of Brooklyn." I nodded "whatever." We ran into Copper and Clink
then, I acted happier than I really was to see them glad they showed up
when they did. I had to say that out of all the newsies Copper and Clink
made me laugh the most. "Hey July!" Copper yelled "We need your
opinion, why is an orange called an orange but a banana isn't called a
yellow?" Clink asked. I grinned "For the same reason no one calls a
lemon yellow, there's too many, there is only one real orange fruit, all the
rest are little oranges." Copper nodded. "Makes sense to me, what about
tomatoes, why not red's?" "That's easy, tomatoes are redish orangeand
orange is already taken, so they named it something completely
different." Clink said. Jack looked at the three of us like we had 10 heads
combined and shook his head. "I just don't get you guys" he muttered
taking his hat off and scratching his head. "You're not supposed to."
Copper said grinning. "Well anyway I'm bringing July to meet Spot, you
guys wanna come?" he asked. "Sending the poor girl to her doom
already? Have some compassion cowboy." Clink said. "What is this kid
some sort of freakishly big person?" I asked. Copper and Clink
snickered. "Not quite." I shrugged "than nothing to worry about, with a
name like spot how bad could he be?" Jack didn't say anything, just
started walking again, Copper and Clink following along with me.
Never in my life have I ever met someone so..rude and cocky, so self
arrogant. I could kill him and I just met the kid. But that's not the worst
part, he's the kidthe kid from Queens that sold me the paper when I was
still pregnant, and he recognized me. I can't let him know who I am and
what I've done. I can't I'll do whatever it takes to keep him from
knowing.
We stepped onto the docks, slick with water from boys jumping in and
out. I looked around looking for someone who looked dignified, or at
least like a leader but saw no one. So imagine my surprise when Jack
pointed out a skinny guy, only a few inches taller than me. "Him?" I
asked holding back my laughter with difficulty. "Don't laugh" Jack
warned. "Why is it a crime over here in Brooklyn?" I asked rolling my
eyes. Jack sighed and walked me over to this so called leader. "Heya
spot" he said spitting in his hand and holding it out. Spot turned and did
the same, I almost choked when I saw his eyes, the same eyes that
captured my attention months ago. My heart skipped a beat, my mouth
went dry. "is July" Jack was saying. 'Please don't recognize me' I
silently prayed all the while spitting and shaking. His eyes we're on me, I
could feel his fiery gaze even though I was staring off into the distance.
Jack kept talking but I couldn't hear anything. "So July." Spot started
"Where ya from?" he knew, I could read it all over his face, he knew and
he was going to use it to his advantage. "Boston." I answered, figuring I
might as well play dumb about it. "Yeah? Is that so? I hear they have a
lot of whores down there, that true?" I shrugged "Why would I know, I
have no use for them, if you're so desperate, I suggest you pick someone
in your own turf." He cocked an eyebrow. I cursed myself for getting
bitchy, but I wasn't going to bow down to this arrogant, kid who looked
like he hadn't been fed in months. "A little sure of ourselves are we?" he
asked. Jack looked between us "do you two know each other?" I looked
at Spot, it was his call, if he told I was prepared to deny (deny deny).
"No, but listen Jacky" He said leading him a few feet away. I stood there
fuming, he hadn't told Jack, which could only mean one thing-he was
going to black mail me for everything I was worth. "I don't think she's
the type of person you want to have around." He was saying. "But you
don't know her, she's been with us for awhile and is catching on real
quick" Jack said. I didn't miss the glare spot shot my way, one that could
freeze hell over, and I hoped he got my look of victory. I had forgotten
Copper and Clink were with me, they were talking to each other glancing
between spot and I so rapidly I'm surprised they didn't throw up from
motion sickness. "What are you" I started but Jack came over and took
me by the arm leading me towards the bridge. "Come on you two." He said. Clink looked at Copper and they started their chatting again
(because it never stops ya know *ducks*) I didn't know if I should say
anything to Jack or not, I figured out pretty quickly he was mad about
something Spot said but I couldn't hear most of their conversation.
Finally a few minutes from Manhattan he said "Don't worry about Spot,
he gets like that sometimes" I nodded, so he still hadn't told on me. I
wanted to know what he was up to, what he had in mind so I could be
prepared.
The next few days we're a lot like the past weeks, except I found myself
getting closer and closer to Jack. We sold together every day, he told me
about Santa Fe and though the idea sounded ridiculous to me, who was I
talk always dreaming of going back to California. He talked about the
strike a lot, so proud they had beaten the mighty Pulitzer. I didn't tell
him much of anything about me, when he asked I changed the subject. I
still hate selling, and Jack finally noticed and even though he was
suspicious about how I made my money didn't seem to care that much.
He asked me out today, just out and asked while we were in Central Park
selling to the rich crowd.
I looked up at the sky shielding my eyes from the sun. "nice day" I said
to no one in particular. Jack finished selling to a lady with a bird on her
hat and answered me. "Yeah it is" he said. I could tell something was on
his mind but didn't say anything. We kept walking a little ways before he
just out and said it. "Will you be my girl?" I stopped in some sort of
shock, thinking about what had happened to me, did I want to set myself
up for something like that, I scolded myself in my mind, jack was
different, Jack cared, and against everything I swore I wouldn't do, I
nodded. "Yeah" I said with a grin. He smiled and things were the same
but different.
Spot wasn't happy to hear about Jack and me, and he came all the way
out to Manhattan to tell him so. Jack said he didn't care what Spot
thought of me and sent him on his way. I was scared of the way Spot
was acting, still not sure if he was going to do something, but I didn't let
on and just smiled triumphently when Jack stood up for me. I think Jack
wants to smooth things over with him though, he asked me to help plan
a surprise party for spots 16th birthday, like the kid wasn't already
expecting one, being as full of himself as he is. But I agreed nevertheless
figuring I didn't have anything to lose, and would get me out of selling
for the next two weeks.
"No way" I said shaking my head "I am not planning a party for that.that"
I couldn't think of a word that was strong enough to say how I felt
"that.thing" I finished. Jack gave me a pleading look "please." He
begged, giving me the puppy dog eyes. I sighed in frustration "When's
the mutt's birthday again?" Jack's eyes lit up, I was stuck now. I had
two weeks to get things in order so I started enlisting a little help. I
decided to have it a warehouse in the Bronx, getting him there by saying
one of his guys was gonna fight a Bronx newsie. Tibby's was going to
help supply food, with a donation by Denton of course. Medda would
perform, at Jacks (and most of the other newsies) insistence.
Spot entered the warehouse presumable totally unaware of what was
going on, I still say he knew all along. It was a miserable day to say the
least, I wanted to hurt myself for even agreeing to helping Jack,
especially after what happened.
Jack dragged me over to spot who stood surrounded by females of all
sorts and sizes, he pushed through the crowed, making the noisy girls
stand back. "Happy birthday spot" Jack said spit shaking with him. Spot
leaned back on the table behind him, which was heaped with food and
drinks, staring at me expectantly. I glared at him and looked away.
Jack's hand on mine tightened as he gave me a warning look "happy
birthday" I muttered cursing Jack a mile a minute in my mind. Spot's
triumphant smirk made me want to claw his eyes out, I stood there my
own eyes blazing with anger while jack babbled on. "You know July
planned all this" he said. "Is dat so?" Spot asked studying me "yeah well
any excuse for a party" I muttered trying to keep my temper. "Or in your
case any excuse to get drunk." My mind went wild, all I wanted to do
was kill him, jack finally realized that I was a few seconds away from
killing his best friend and pulled my arm leading me a few yards away.
"I hate him" I fumed "he's so full of himself and arrogant" Jack tried to
shut me up, I was drawing quite a bit of attention to myself and finally I
stalked out of the building.
And if that wasn't bad enough, Patch came and told me that Jack had
danced with some other girl the entire time after I left, the nerve!
I was sitting in Central Park, more then anything I wanted to be by the
ocean, but the nearest body of water was in Brooklyn and I wasn't going
there. So I had to make due with grass and rocks. I was cooling down
some, the hate now just smoldering embers. I heard someone approach
but didn't turn to see who. The person sat next to me, placing their
hands on their knees and looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I
saw Patch. "Hey" I said figuring I had to talk sooner or later.
"hi" she said softly and leaned back to rest on her elbows. "You alright?"
I continued to stare at the rock in front of me "yeahwell no, he just gets
me so mad, he thinks he's so great and can't deal with the fact that I
won't bow down to him. He's obnoxious and rude, and pretentious I
can't stand him!!" I blurted out. Patch nodded understandingly and put
a hand on my arm. "He's not so bad when you get to know him." I
whirled around to face her "fine take his side." I spat out standing up.
She stood up and looked me square in the eye "don't be dumb I'm not
taking his side and you know it." I nodded "I know I'm sorry, he just
makes me so frustrated." I looked at Patch and could see there was
something she wasn't telling me "what is it?" I asked. "It's about Jack"
she started "after you lefthe danced with Shasta, the entire time they left
together." The rage I felt bubbled up inside me again and I had to do all
that I could not to let forth with every profanity I know. I bit back my
anger, turned and walked back to the lodging house leaving Patch alone
in the park.
I fell alseep early that night before anyone had even gotten back, bitter
tears rolled down my face as I wiped them away angrily. For the next
few days I avoided Jack and Shasta until they cornered me leaving no
escape.
"July! We have to talk" Jack yelled out as I deliberatly ignored him and
kept walking away from the distribution center. "July!" he yelled again. I
picked up the pace a little but Jack ran and caught up pinning me against
a building, Shasta in tow. "We have to talkto explain" he started. I
glared at them bitterly "I think you've explained your selves well enough
these last few days" I said in a cold voice. "We didn't mean for it to
happen honest." Shasta said "It doesn't matter if you meant for it to
happen or not, it did, your not who I thought you were and that's all
there is to it" I snapped. She looked at me like I'd slapped her across the
face "July" Jack tried again "be reasonable." My eyes narrowed "that's
easy for you to say, fine you want reasonable, I hope you two are happy
together, but don't come bitching to me Shasta when he leaves you for
the next new girl who comes along." I pushed past them and stalked
away, glad they didn't follow.
So that was the end of that, life goes on. While I was going through this
little love crisis I had ignored everything around me, so I was a little
surprised when I found out that Tibbys was being shut down due to
failing the health inspection. The newsies were all riled up about it too,
supposedly the only way Tibbys would stay open is if Tibby himself could
pay the fine. With his profits we doubted this would happen but the
newsies were dead set on keeping the restaurant open.
"Can't we sell extra or somethin' and help em out?" Boots asked. A few
yeah's came from around the room. "How would a few extra cents help
pay a fine dat big?" Jack asked shaking his head. I still wasn't on
speaking terms with Jack or Shasta so I paid him no attention as more
ideas were called out. After an hour of useless futile arguing nothing
was decided as we all went our separate places. I headed for the bunkroom where Jewel, Copper, Clink, Cone, and West were sitting,
discussing the best way to make money for Tibby. "What do you think
Jules, sell extra or sell the stuff we don't need?" West asked. I shrugged
"they both sound like bad ideas to me, why don't you get a job that will
actually pay money, I'm sure Medda will hire you." They gave me
shocked looks "as a waitress not a whore" I said rolling my eyes. Copper
nodded "that might work." Clink hit her on the shoulder "you only wanna
do it so you can meet guys." Copper grinned "I don't see you objecting
to the idea." Jewel laughed at them, "you two have boyfriends
remember, Jake and David those nice kids down stairs" "What's wrong
with looking they'll just cheat on you anyway so look at is as a head
start" I muttered. "I sense bitterness." Copper started. "Please save
your psycho-babble for later, I have a headache" I begged. Copper
grinned "ok, but I'll find you later, you can count on it." "grrrreat" I said
with a grin lying down on my bunk and quickly falling asleep.
So the fight to keep tibbys open kept on going strong, a few girls did get
jobs at medda's working night hours. The guys got odd jobs around the
city. I could have paid the fine but if just up and gave the man $500
dollars my secret would be out and the last thing I wanted was for the
newsies to know about my past. Because my past is dead just like most
of theirs, something they'd rather forget so why bring up mine? I could
give a anonyomous donation though and I did, if not to keep Tibby's
open then to get everyone settled down again.
storming into the room. "Another fight with Spot?" my best friend Patch
asked me. "Not that you need to answer that since we all could hear you
two screaming at each other from in here" Clink said. I scowled at them,
"he's a jerk, I don't know what I ever saw in him." The majority of the
room rolled their eyes. "In other news" Copper started "your not the only
one having troubles in paradise" she indicated upstairs. I stopped my
ranting long enough to hear faint yelling from upstairs. It sounded like
Shasta and Jack. "Yeah well relationships are highly over rated anyway"
I said bitterly kicking the counter where Kloppman usually stood. "They
never work out, why every one thinks they're so great is beyond me." I
continued. I turned around looking for some support, but found half the
people in the room making out and the other half trying to discreetly
leave. Patch looked up from her embrace with Kid Blink "Maybe your
relationships don't work out, but some people's do" she said with a
gooey look to Blink. I stifled a scream, and went upstairs into the room
where us girls stay, I had been right, it was Jack and Shasta fighting, not
caring that I was interrupting I threw myself on my bed pouting. "Do
you mind?" Jack asked "we're trying to fight here" "Not at all" I said
rolling over and staring at them "please, feel free to continue" Shasta
gave me a death look as Jack dragged her out of the room, yelling the
entire way.
"July wake up" someone hissed quietly. I opened my eyes, a form taking
shape next to me. "Jack is that you?" I asked, not waiting for an answer
I looked outside "It's not even light out yet what the hell is your
problem?" He looked at me "Get dressed, I wanna talk ta ya, go out onta
the roof" I stared at him stupidly but before I could respond he was
halfway across the room, quickly picking his way through the mess we
had left. I sat up wondering what Jack could possibly want to talk to me
about. It wasn't the first time I had been awakened in the middle of the
night, hell spot's goons were always coming in and telling me to meet
spot at the bridge for night long make out sessions or poker games, or
some nights, both. I jumped silently off the top bunk landing on a pile of
clothes, I rooted through them and pulled out a wrinkled blue dress,
probably Patch's who slept under me, definitely not Jewel's, who was
sound asleep to the left of me. All her clothes were folded or hung up
neatly. I quickly wove my way through the mess with ease, since I had in
part created it I knew what was where. I got changed, and brushed my
hair not caring much about how I looked. Trying to wake myself up I
splashed some cold water on my face and crept out the window.
Jack was there already, having had the head start. He was staring off in
the distance. I cleared my throat rather loudly, he came out of his daze
and turned towards me. "What is it Kelly?" I asked "Listen, I know it's
late" he started, yeah well no kidding, I figured it had to be no later then
1 in the morning "But I had to talk to youalone" I eyed him "what
about?" he looked at me in a way he hadn't in a long time, this intense
gaze, that forced me to look back at him. "I can't stop thinking about
last year." I tore my gaze away. "What are you trying to say Jack?" he
continued to stare at me and came closer "you know Shasta and I are
having problems, and I heard you say you were never gonna go out wit
spot again" I looked at him again "yeah and?" "I was wonderin if you
still cared about me-like you used to, cause I wanna get back wit you." I
bit my lip so hard it started to bleed and almost choked on my tounge.
"Jack are you serious? We went out a year ago, you cheated on me
remember why would I be stupid enough to set myself up for that again.
Besides." He wasn't listening to my futile arguing. "Think about it" he
said kissing me softly, and leaving the roof.
I stood there, brushing my fingers over my lips, they tingled just like they
used to. Finally regaining some control of myself I re-entered the
bunkroom, all the girls still sound asleep. Knowing I wouldn't be able to
fall asleep anytime soon, I took out my journal and slipped off my boots,
bear foot I padded back up to the roof and sat down. Twirling my blonde
hair absent-mindedly I picked up the book from my lap, my still
trembeling fingers dropping it. I looked down, it had opened to the first
page, against my will I started to read.
August 4, 1898
Today's mine and Derek's fourteenth birthday, We had a good time and
got some great stuff from everyone who came to our party. Mother says
that we're two of the most spoiled children and that it's all Father's fault,
but she never does anything to stop him.
The party was held late tonight but the fun started when we first woke
up.
"Miss Ashli..Miss Ashli do wake up." Greta, my maid begged me, giving
me a light shove. I stubbornly rolled over ignoring her. "Miss Ashli if you
don't get up right now I'm going to make sure you can't attend that
party, that's what I'm gonna do." I opened my eyes, realization dawning
on me "It's my birthday" I screamed happily jumping up on the platform
bed clad in my white silk nightgown. "Forgetting about me already are
you?" Derek asked walking into my room already dressed and ready for
breakfast. "Never" I said with a grin, untangling my feet from the masses
of twisted sheets, I jumped on him giving him a hug. Greta laughed and
pulled me off Derek "Go get dressed dear" she said shooing Derek from
the room. I hurridly pulled on the forest green dress as Greta entered the
dressing room and began to button up the back. I studied her reflection
in the mirror in front of me, brown hair going gray in some spots, up in a
bun already falling out, a cute face with wrinkles around her green
shining eyes. I compared her to my own, long blonde hair and aqua
eyes. I was still short at 14, 5'0 exactly while already Derek was 5'6.
"How old are you?" I asked Greta after examining us both in the mirror.
"Never mind that" she said playfully swatting me with the hairbrush she
had used to put my hair Into the french braid it was now in. I smiled at
her, and ran out of the room, skidding to a stop when I reached the
stairs. Derek was waiting for me as I hopped onto the banister and slid
down knocking us both to the floor when I reached the end and went
flying off.
We walked into the We walked into the dining room together, mother and father were
already seated and ready to be served. Father was reading the paper
when we arrived, something he does every morning. Daddy's the Mayor
of Bridgewater which is where we live, Mother stays home with Derek
and me, when she can but she's always running off to her women's club
meetings and social events with Father. They looked up when we came
in "Happy birthday darlings" mother said enfulging us in a hug, she was
the sweetest lady "a real catch for that wild Cosimano" I heard one man
describe her. Derek and I got our looks from her. Even at 40 she was as
stunning and beautiful as she had been in the photographs from their
wedding.
Derek and I sat down as Jorge our butler came out with two plates of
steaming French toast and bacon setting them down in front of us. We
finished quickly and were sent off to school.
Derek and I go to a private school on the east side of Bridgewood near
where we live, so we often walked to school instead of getting a ride
from Phillip. "I'll race you to the end of the street" I challenged Derek.
He sighed but adjusted his books and said "alrightGO!" when we reached
the end of the street we were both out of breath laughing. He had
beaten me by a second. We calmed down by the time we got to school.
Kids were all over the sprawling front yard of the school, I spotted my
best friend Lindsey sitting by the fountain and dragged Derek over with
me to say hi. "Happy birthday!!" she exclaimed when we she saw us. It
was like that all during school, Derek and I were well known because of
our father's job. When we got home we were sent up stairs to do our
homework and to change out of our school clothes. Derek came into my
room asking for help with his math, I took the sheet from him and
showed him what to do, and handed him the science homework. For the
life of me I couldn't understand that stuff. We finally finished and set all
the books aside, as Greta kicked Derek out again to go get ready and set
to work on me. I smiled into the mirror as I pulled on a white dress that
flowed in silky waves. She put my hair up adorning it with baby's breath
and stepped back to admire her work. Derek knocked on the door, I
opened it with a huge grin. The door bell sounded as we made our way
down stairs.
The party was beautiful, the parlor was covered in roses and the furniture
gleamed more the usual. We danced the night away till it was 1 in the
morning and the last guest had left. Mother smiled at us "Off to bed with
you two now" I frowned slightly I couldn't possibly sleep. "I want to
keep dancing" I said spinning across the floor. Father picked me up like I
was still a little child and carried me upstairs "ahh but you must princess"
he set me on my bed and kissed my forehead leaving the room.
August 10, 1898
They're gone!! I'll never see them again, my mother and father are dead
and so Is Derek, I don't know what I'm going to do, my family is gone,
why didn't I go too, why am I still here? Why did god do this to me
why??????
The day started off same as any other weekend day. Derek and I slept
late and went down to breakfast. Normally Mother and father were done
by then as usual. We took our seats as Jorge, brought us our meals.
Mother came out of the kitchen followed by Nancy the kitchen maid.
Nancy was carrying a picnic basket and mother was talking to her
briskly. "Have Phillip put it in the carriage Nancy dear, we'll be out
shortly. "Good morning children" She said addressing Derek and me.
"Good morning mother" we said. "What's going on?" Derek asked.
Normally I'd be as curious as he was but I wasn't feeling very well at all.
I pushed my plate away from me. "Your father is taking the day off,
we're going on a picnic across the baywhy Ashli dear, whatever is the
matter, your paler then a sheet." I felt hot and started to shake "I don't
feel too well." I mumbled. Mother felt my forehead "My god your
burning up, we best get you to bed." I tried to stand but was so woozy I
almost fell over. "Charles get in here!" mother yelled to daddy, who came
in, took one look at me and picked me up carrying me upstairs. I had a
temperature of 103 and mother said that the picnic would have to be
canceled. I hated to do that to Derek I knew how much he loves to go
fishing with father in the bay. "You still go." I said "it'll only make me
more upset if I make you guys miss out." Mother got that concerned
look on her face. "We wouldn't think of it honey." Derek stood on the
other side of the bed I turned to him. "Derek go, Greta can take care of
me, pick me some of the tiger lilys so I can have them with me, you know
they make me feel better and only grow on the other side of the bay." He
looked at me and then at mother. "Please, go have fun for me." I said.
So they went, leaving me with books and games I could do when I
wasn't sleeping. They said they would be back by supper time, crossing
the bay at night was a bad idea, there was this one area that was thinner
and covered with sharp jagged rocks. You needed light to maneuver the
boat through it safely. By 8:00 they weren't back yet, I was feeling a
little better, Greta was convinced that it was just a 24 hour virus. By the
time 8:30 rolled around I was feeling sicker then ever and it wasn't a
virus. 9:00 I was beyond worried and petrified so against Greta's word, I
got dressed and walked out by our side of the bay. I couldn't see
anything and could only make out a small part of the island across the
fog. "Where are they?" I asked myself. The night was cold and stormy
fog covered every inch of ground around me. Thunder sounded and I
watched the streak of lightening fly through the air. My family was out
there somewhere. It started to pour as Greta came running out of the
house yelling for me to get inside. I let her drag me in, my blonde hair
matted in my head. I sneezed, and tried to cover it up but it didn't work.
Greta drew me a hot bath and told me to stay there till I was warm
again. I did as she said but it was 10:00 and my family still wasn't back.
"they're probably hiding it out in a cave somewhere" Greta said
reassuringly, Cosimano Bay Island was known for it's caves, and little
waterfalls, so I nodded. Greta sent me to bed, knowing full well I
wouldn't be able to sleep, but she said I could at least rest till we found
out more. I really was tired and started dozing off and before I knew it I
was asleep. A knock at the door woke me up. I looked out the window,
it was still raining. I heard voices downstairs, sure it was my father I ran
down the stairs stopping dead in my tracks when I saw a poliice officer
standing there holding his hat in his hand with a sorrowful expression on
his face. "I'm really very sorry it's a horrible loss to Bridgewater." And
with that he left. Terrible loss? What loss? "what's he talking about?" I
asked with a confused look, surely they weren't talking about my family.
Jorge closed the door and looked at me slowly, tears glistened in his
eyes. I shook my head no, It couldn't be, I wouldn't allow it. "Oh honey
I'm so sorrythey got stuck in the fog, the boat went down in the rocky
pass last night, they all drowned." I shook my head again "no, your lying
to me, I know you are!" I ran from the room and out to the water it
wasn't true, it couldn't be. And yet it was. And that's how I killed my
family.
They're funeral was held two days later in my back yard, Everyone from
the town came, all with apologies and their sympathy, bringing food and
flowers like any of it meant anything, my family was gone and they were
bringing casserole like it would replace them. How much did they think
one girl could eat all by herself. And that's what I was, alone.
The sheriff who had found my families bodies was there too, he had a
handful of tigerlillys that he said were in Derek's hand, trust Derek never
to forget a promise. And then it was all over, the three Mahogany
coffens were placed in the ground never to be seen again. Then there
was only one question left, what happened to me?
I wandered downstairs from my room in a daze of sorts, it seemed
routine and that's all I have now. Some men were in a conversation in
the sitting room when I walked in, I was used to strange men being in
the house now, the last few days had been filled with strangers. "She
has an uncle in New York that we could send word to." One said. "I
don't know he's a bachelor and probably wouldn't have had much
experience with little girls." Another threw in. I struggled to remember
who I knew that lived in New York, I had been there once before when
daddy brought me and Derek for our 12th birthdays. "It couldn't hurt to
ask, Frank I believe his name is, Frank Burns." Mother's half brother, I
remembered. I met him that one time in New York and didn't like him
that much though we only saw him that once. "She has no other
relatives that we know of, her grandparents died years ago and her
parents had no siblings but Frank." The men looked at the guy who
seemed to be in charge. "It's settled then, the child should be with her
blood relative." I didn't like being talked about like I wasn't in the room
but didn't say anything, instead I just went into the kitchen and sat down
at the table. I wasn't eating much lately but I was hoping it would take
my mind off going to New York. Two weeks later a telegram came saying
to send me over, I was packed up and ready to go by the end of the day.
I knew the lawyers and social service people just wanted to be rid of me
and move on with the next case so I didn't take a long time saying good
bye to everyone. Leaving Greta was the hardest. "I wish you could come
live with me but they just wouldn't allow it." She said wiping a tear off
her face. I nodded not knowing what to say. "You keep in touch
though." I nodded again, the men at the door were getting impatient. I
threw my arms around Greta "Goodbye, I love you." And then walked out
the door and into the waiting carriage.
We got on a train and rode first class to New York, stopping every once
and awhile to change trains. Finally Mr. Carroll and I made it to the New
York train station. While we waited for my luggage he explained to me
how my finances would work. Since I was the only survivor of my family
the money would be mine when I turned 15 till then the bank of
california was holding it. They would use whatever nescessary to keep
the house mine. Unless when I was 15 I decided to sell it, which I doubt
will happen. I asked what happened to my parents and Derek's stuff and
Mr. Carroll said it was all put into storage for now, our luggage came then
we stopped talking. We pulled up at an apartment building in Queens,
Mr. Carroll got my suitcases and walked me inside. We found Uncle
Frank's apartment and knocked on the door. I knew from the moment he
opened the door unshaven and dirty that this was going to be bad.
"Huh wha? What do you want, I won't buy anything." The man at the
door said moving to close the door. I shrunk back a little, the man was
dressed in ripped clothes that had dirt streaks everywhere, his hair was a
mess, and it looked like he hadn't shaved in a month, surely they weren't
planning on leaving me alone with this man. "My name is Mr. Carroll sir,
and this is your niece Ashli." Mr. Carroll said putting a hand on my
shoulder and pulling me forward gently. I looked up at Uncle Frank in a
mix of wonderment and horror. "What? Oh oh right, I thought that was
Wednesday." He grumbled. "It is Wednesday." I said softly, I was
imposing on this man, I wanted to go back to California immediately but
Mr. Carroll's hand on my shoulder kept me firmly in place so running was
not an option.
Uncle Frank opened the door the rest of the way, unchaining the lock, and let us in to the dimly lit room. I gasped a little my room was bigger
than the room we were standing in now and it was the main area. Mr.
Carroll looked around, and clucked his tounge a little and looked for a
moment like just maybe he would take me back with him. But his face
clouded over and instead he mumbled "god go with you child." And left.
I stood timidly by the door, "come here, get your bags, your not little
miss rich anymore and I won't be cleaning up after you." He said. I did
as he said. "Follow me, from now on, it's your responsibility to take care
of the things around here, and you can start with dinner." He led me to a
tiny room no bigger than the broom closet back home. "I eat at 7 o'clock
exactly so get your crap unpacked and get working." I couldn't breath, I
was in total shock "butbut I've never cooked before." I said shrinking
back a little. "Learn." He said sharply before slamming the door shut. I
fell back on the narrow bed, absorbing it all in what was I going to do?
I know it's been months diary but I have no time to write anymore.
Looking back now, I see that the first night was the easiest. What would
I give to just have to do the cooking and cleaning now. Instead of being
the free entertainment for anyone who comes along. A week after I first
came to NY, I was settling into the pattern of NY time, and waking up at
5:00 to make breakfast and clean the house. By the time I was done it
was time for lunch. Frank only left once he ate lunch locking me in my
room. He'd be gone for hours before coming back at 7:00 for his dinner
often bringing friends with him, and always plenty of alcohol. He
ordered me around, like a bar maid having me bring drink after drink till I
thought there was no way I could walk anymore and I just prayed they'd
pass out soon. But the drunker he got, the more violent, I had bruises up
and down my arms from his deadly grips and punches. One day he lost a
lot of money to someone in a poker game, he didn't have the money to
pay, so the man said he'd take me for the night and that's how I became
the whore of Queens.
I pushed aside clothes in my dresser looking for something relatively
clean but there was nothing. All my clothes were ripped and tattered,
stained with alcohol and sizes too small. I sighed and just kept what I
had on. "ASHLI!" Frank barked from the other room. I opened the door
and shuffled out, my head down. 'Yes?" I asked, my blonde hair falling
limply over my face. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." He snapped.
I looked up, his eyes were the color of ice, fittingly describing his soul.
"Get us some beer." I nodded and walked the few steps to the kitchen. I
got the drinks and walked back out where Frank and some men were
sitting around a table. I'd seen them all before, all except one. The new
man stared at me making me feel uneasy, I shifted from foot to foot
waiting to see what Frank would want next. The man picked up a piece
of my hair fingering it, "you're a pretty one." He commented. He handed
frank some money. "Right over there, first door." Frank said. I let the
man drag me into the room, surprised at how jaded I had become, I knew
what was going on but a few sharp blows from Frank told me there was
nothing I could do about it, now I hardly cared.
I'm pregnant, Frank is really mad about it too. Like it was my fault
somehow. I started getting really sick in the mornings, Frank beat me
something awful the first day for not getting up and having his breakfast
made. The blood ran off my head from the bottle he hit me with. It got
worse from there, I never thought it would hurt so much. I cried myself
to sleep each night, having a child was supposed to be a happy good
thing, instead I didn't even know whose it was. It wasn't fair, what had I
done to deserve this.
I walked into the kitchen holding my back, doubling over from the pain I
grabbed onto the small table. Taking three eggs I made a mental note to
remind Frank that we needed more. I fried the eggs, making coffee and
toast at the same time and set it down on the table. I walked to the
bottom floor and to the door smoothing my hair a little, fixing my apron
over my stomach which was becoming rather big and looked down the
street for a newsie to buy Frank's morning paper from. Normally the
same one was by our apartment each day but he was no where in sight. I
cursed, Frank would kill me if his paper wasn't waiting for him. I walked
down the street a little in my bare feet having outgrown my shoes some
time ago. Turning the corner I came face to face with a boy in a spotted
shirt, red-ish suspenders, a cane and slingshot and the biggest smirk I've
ever seen. "oh, excuse me." I muttered, his eyes captured my attention
and I finally realized I was staring. I noticed the stack of papers under
his arm. "Are you a newsie?" I asked. "No, I hold these for my health, of
course I'm a newsie." He replied looking me up and down, raising an
eyebrow. "A little young for that ain't you?" I grabbed a paper ignoring
the question and gave him a penny. "I'se." he started before Frank
approached us. "you little whore, I told you never to leave the house,
what the hell are you doing?" he seethed all but dragging me back to the
building. "Hey, what are you doing?!" The boy exclaimed following
Frank. I shook my head at him, Frank would kill that boy happily. "She's
crazy in the head, dangerous to be around." Frank said and slammed the
door shut. The second we were alone in our apartment he back handed
me so hard I was knocked out cold.
He killed my baby. The only person I had in the world he took away from
me.
I had a boy, I named him Derek Anthony. The lady from next door came
over to midwife. Frank told her I had run off and gotten married only to
have my husband die a week later leaving me pregnant and the lady felt
so bad she offered to help. I thought nothing would make up for the
nine months of hell carrying him had been, but just holding him in my
arms was enough. I couldn't get over how much he looked like my father
and Derek. I guess I was drugged up because I had it in my mind that
Frank didn't mind this anymore that he was as happy as I was. But that
wasn't the case, as soon as Mrs. Simms left he took Derek from my arms.
I was still in bed weak, and unable to move. I had lost a lot of blood and
Mrs. Simms said it was a miracle that Derek and I both made it through it
alive especially since I was still healing from "the accident that took your
husbands life"
"Where are you taking him?" I asked "What you didn't think I'd let you
keep the brat did you?" he asked sneering. "Frank, what are you talking
about, what are you going to do?" I asked panicking. "Don't worry about
it." He snapped. "FRANK!" my voice shot up a few notes. "Where are you
taking my baby?" He laughed, a pure evil laugh and left the room. I
sobbed uncontrollably, hyperventilating.
I slid off the bed and crawled to the kitchen, taking the knife I cut one
wrist but fainted before I could cut the other.
I woke up a few days later, not able to understand why I was still alive.
Turns out Mrs. Simms came over to check on me and found me lying on
the floor in a pool of blood. Frank came back and told her Derek had died
and he had brought him to the doctors leaving me alone thinking I would
be ok. I couldn't even cry any more, nothing was going my way.
Something was nagging at my brain, today was something that used to
be important. It finally came to me. It was my birthday.
It was hard to believe that only a year a go I was still happy, surrounded
by my family and friends and no one treated me badly. I closed my eyes
willing myself to sink into my pillow and disappear. 15, I was supposed
to be happy, and warm and safe at home. Not with an uncle who abused
me, and was now dancing around in the living room already on his 8th
drink because a letter came in the mail saying the Cosimano estate now
belonged to me.
Two weeks later things had changed, for Frank anyway. His clothes were
all new, more people came over for longer times all new friends attracted
by the money. One night after counting the money as he did every night
he looked to me while I was cleaning off the table and snickered. "Just
wait till I sell that house of yours, it should bring in a good amount." He
locked the safe and reattached the key to his belt. "no" I whispered.
"You can't, I won't let you." He looked at me like I was the dumbest
person he'd ever seen. "You, little girl can't do anything to stop me." He
turned to step into his room but stopped suddenly grabbing his arm. He
fell to the floor his face twisted in pain. "Ashli, get help" He gasped. I
started for the door and stopped turning on my heel. I had two options
get help or take what belonged to me and get out. And When I thought
about it, it wasn't really even a decision. I walked over to him, he was
sweating bullets "why *pant* haven't you *gasp* gone yet?" he asked. I
smiled sweetly half out of my mind but seeing things with clarity and
took the key off his belt. "wha" he started but had a spasm and couldn't
continue. I took the money and put it in a bag along with the official papers and walked towards the door again. "Youcan'tdothis" Frank
gasped out. "You, uncle, can't do anything to stop me."
I walked around New York City seeing things I've never seen before,
enjoying the freedom. I had forgotten what it was like to be free. I had
no idea where I was, or where I was going but I knew one thing: no one
would ever hurt me again.
I finally fell asleep on a statue of a man, I wouldn't know where I was
even if it was light, but I didn't care. I woke up early and went into a
store buying some stuff I'd been needing, including a bag to keep
everything in. I needed a place to stay I knew that much. And in case
Frank lived a place to hide. The first place he'd look would be California
so I figured I'd be safest to stay in NY where he wouldn't be expecting
me to go. I wandered over to a restaurant where I'd seen a lot of people
going. Opening the door I stopped to take it all in. "Hey come on in, we
don't bitewell not most of us anyway." A girl said with long brown hair
and soft brown eyes smacking an Italian looking boy on the head. I
looked around cautiously, I hadn't seen any of them before, and I prayed
they didn't know me too. I stepped into the main part of the restaurant
holding my head high. "Hey, I'm Patch!" the girl exclaimed. I panicked
for a second trying to think of a name, then thought back to what my
father used to say. "If you had it your way Ash every month would be
July." "I'm July" I said shaking her hand. She introduced me to
everyone, my head was spinning with names. "You becoming a newsie?"
someone I think her name was Pigs asked. I thought about it, and
nodded "it was my intention." I said still not willing to commit to
friendship. She smiled. "Great you can stay with us girls at the lodging
house!" I nodded and looked around at everyone trying to figure out if
any of them were a threat. "That's a nice dress." Key said looking at it. I
swallowed, I forgot newsies were supposed to be poor. "Yeah I found a
few bucks the other day and decided to go shopping." I lied. "Wish I was
that lucky" Jewel said smiling. A guy with dark hair, Bumlets I think, put
his arm around her.
The bell rang above the door and a boy with a cowboy hat and bandana
came through the door. "Hey Cowboy look we got a new girl here."
Patch's boyfriend Blink said. He stepped down "so we do, I'm Jack." He
said spitting in his hand and holding it out. I'd seen newsies do this
before outside Frank's window, I spit in my own hand. "July" I said
shaking his hand. He had warm eyes that sparkled down at me. I cleared
my throat and looked away. He grinned. "I'll show you to the lodging
house."
Selling papers is just about the hardest thing ever, how they do it every
day is beyond me. By the third week I bought my papers and just threw
them away. I didn't pair up with someone like everyone else did
although a lot of them asked me to. I wasn't sure if Frank had died that
night or not, till one day flipping through the paper I saw a single
paragraph, not more than a few sentences, the headline read "Local
Queens man, found dead in apartment." It was over, I was free, I
couldn't believe it, but still I wasn't about to trust people I had just met.
I think they were catching on to me after a month, Jack gave me weird
looks over dinner, he was cute, and cocky and so sure of himself. I ignored him, trying to ignore the feelings I had for him sure they would
go away, I would make them go away. But I couldn't make him go away
and it was a problem.
"Hey July" he called running over to me after I had bought my papers. I
stopped walking letting him catch up. "Mush found a new girl, and is
selling with her today, so I don't have a partner, wanna be mine?" he
asked. I didn't want to seem rude, and I was more at ease with him then
I was with most of the other guys so I smiled the best I could and
nodded. We continued walking, not talking much. Every time he stopped
to sell a paper I stuck a few of mine somewhere, only selling when
someone asked for one. "Hey your pretty good" he said noticing my
depleated stack. I nodded. "Did you do it back home?" he asked. I
stopped, I couldn't let him ask questions, no one could know what I had
been. "Uh, yeah.something like that." I said quickening my step.
He caught up with me. "We have to bring you to meet Spot, he's the
leader of Brooklyn." I nodded "whatever." We ran into Copper and Clink
then, I acted happier than I really was to see them glad they showed up
when they did. I had to say that out of all the newsies Copper and Clink
made me laugh the most. "Hey July!" Copper yelled "We need your
opinion, why is an orange called an orange but a banana isn't called a
yellow?" Clink asked. I grinned "For the same reason no one calls a
lemon yellow, there's too many, there is only one real orange fruit, all the
rest are little oranges." Copper nodded. "Makes sense to me, what about
tomatoes, why not red's?" "That's easy, tomatoes are redish orangeand
orange is already taken, so they named it something completely
different." Clink said. Jack looked at the three of us like we had 10 heads
combined and shook his head. "I just don't get you guys" he muttered
taking his hat off and scratching his head. "You're not supposed to."
Copper said grinning. "Well anyway I'm bringing July to meet Spot, you
guys wanna come?" he asked. "Sending the poor girl to her doom
already? Have some compassion cowboy." Clink said. "What is this kid
some sort of freakishly big person?" I asked. Copper and Clink
snickered. "Not quite." I shrugged "than nothing to worry about, with a
name like spot how bad could he be?" Jack didn't say anything, just
started walking again, Copper and Clink following along with me.
Never in my life have I ever met someone so..rude and cocky, so self
arrogant. I could kill him and I just met the kid. But that's not the worst
part, he's the kidthe kid from Queens that sold me the paper when I was
still pregnant, and he recognized me. I can't let him know who I am and
what I've done. I can't I'll do whatever it takes to keep him from
knowing.
We stepped onto the docks, slick with water from boys jumping in and
out. I looked around looking for someone who looked dignified, or at
least like a leader but saw no one. So imagine my surprise when Jack
pointed out a skinny guy, only a few inches taller than me. "Him?" I
asked holding back my laughter with difficulty. "Don't laugh" Jack
warned. "Why is it a crime over here in Brooklyn?" I asked rolling my
eyes. Jack sighed and walked me over to this so called leader. "Heya
spot" he said spitting in his hand and holding it out. Spot turned and did
the same, I almost choked when I saw his eyes, the same eyes that
captured my attention months ago. My heart skipped a beat, my mouth
went dry. "is July" Jack was saying. 'Please don't recognize me' I
silently prayed all the while spitting and shaking. His eyes we're on me, I
could feel his fiery gaze even though I was staring off into the distance.
Jack kept talking but I couldn't hear anything. "So July." Spot started
"Where ya from?" he knew, I could read it all over his face, he knew and
he was going to use it to his advantage. "Boston." I answered, figuring I
might as well play dumb about it. "Yeah? Is that so? I hear they have a
lot of whores down there, that true?" I shrugged "Why would I know, I
have no use for them, if you're so desperate, I suggest you pick someone
in your own turf." He cocked an eyebrow. I cursed myself for getting
bitchy, but I wasn't going to bow down to this arrogant, kid who looked
like he hadn't been fed in months. "A little sure of ourselves are we?" he
asked. Jack looked between us "do you two know each other?" I looked
at Spot, it was his call, if he told I was prepared to deny (deny deny).
"No, but listen Jacky" He said leading him a few feet away. I stood there
fuming, he hadn't told Jack, which could only mean one thing-he was
going to black mail me for everything I was worth. "I don't think she's
the type of person you want to have around." He was saying. "But you
don't know her, she's been with us for awhile and is catching on real
quick" Jack said. I didn't miss the glare spot shot my way, one that could
freeze hell over, and I hoped he got my look of victory. I had forgotten
Copper and Clink were with me, they were talking to each other glancing
between spot and I so rapidly I'm surprised they didn't throw up from
motion sickness. "What are you" I started but Jack came over and took
me by the arm leading me towards the bridge. "Come on you two." He said. Clink looked at Copper and they started their chatting again
(because it never stops ya know *ducks*) I didn't know if I should say
anything to Jack or not, I figured out pretty quickly he was mad about
something Spot said but I couldn't hear most of their conversation.
Finally a few minutes from Manhattan he said "Don't worry about Spot,
he gets like that sometimes" I nodded, so he still hadn't told on me. I
wanted to know what he was up to, what he had in mind so I could be
prepared.
The next few days we're a lot like the past weeks, except I found myself
getting closer and closer to Jack. We sold together every day, he told me
about Santa Fe and though the idea sounded ridiculous to me, who was I
talk always dreaming of going back to California. He talked about the
strike a lot, so proud they had beaten the mighty Pulitzer. I didn't tell
him much of anything about me, when he asked I changed the subject. I
still hate selling, and Jack finally noticed and even though he was
suspicious about how I made my money didn't seem to care that much.
He asked me out today, just out and asked while we were in Central Park
selling to the rich crowd.
I looked up at the sky shielding my eyes from the sun. "nice day" I said
to no one in particular. Jack finished selling to a lady with a bird on her
hat and answered me. "Yeah it is" he said. I could tell something was on
his mind but didn't say anything. We kept walking a little ways before he
just out and said it. "Will you be my girl?" I stopped in some sort of
shock, thinking about what had happened to me, did I want to set myself
up for something like that, I scolded myself in my mind, jack was
different, Jack cared, and against everything I swore I wouldn't do, I
nodded. "Yeah" I said with a grin. He smiled and things were the same
but different.
Spot wasn't happy to hear about Jack and me, and he came all the way
out to Manhattan to tell him so. Jack said he didn't care what Spot
thought of me and sent him on his way. I was scared of the way Spot
was acting, still not sure if he was going to do something, but I didn't let
on and just smiled triumphently when Jack stood up for me. I think Jack
wants to smooth things over with him though, he asked me to help plan
a surprise party for spots 16th birthday, like the kid wasn't already
expecting one, being as full of himself as he is. But I agreed nevertheless
figuring I didn't have anything to lose, and would get me out of selling
for the next two weeks.
"No way" I said shaking my head "I am not planning a party for that.that"
I couldn't think of a word that was strong enough to say how I felt
"that.thing" I finished. Jack gave me a pleading look "please." He
begged, giving me the puppy dog eyes. I sighed in frustration "When's
the mutt's birthday again?" Jack's eyes lit up, I was stuck now. I had
two weeks to get things in order so I started enlisting a little help. I
decided to have it a warehouse in the Bronx, getting him there by saying
one of his guys was gonna fight a Bronx newsie. Tibby's was going to
help supply food, with a donation by Denton of course. Medda would
perform, at Jacks (and most of the other newsies) insistence.
Spot entered the warehouse presumable totally unaware of what was
going on, I still say he knew all along. It was a miserable day to say the
least, I wanted to hurt myself for even agreeing to helping Jack,
especially after what happened.
Jack dragged me over to spot who stood surrounded by females of all
sorts and sizes, he pushed through the crowed, making the noisy girls
stand back. "Happy birthday spot" Jack said spit shaking with him. Spot
leaned back on the table behind him, which was heaped with food and
drinks, staring at me expectantly. I glared at him and looked away.
Jack's hand on mine tightened as he gave me a warning look "happy
birthday" I muttered cursing Jack a mile a minute in my mind. Spot's
triumphant smirk made me want to claw his eyes out, I stood there my
own eyes blazing with anger while jack babbled on. "You know July
planned all this" he said. "Is dat so?" Spot asked studying me "yeah well
any excuse for a party" I muttered trying to keep my temper. "Or in your
case any excuse to get drunk." My mind went wild, all I wanted to do
was kill him, jack finally realized that I was a few seconds away from
killing his best friend and pulled my arm leading me a few yards away.
"I hate him" I fumed "he's so full of himself and arrogant" Jack tried to
shut me up, I was drawing quite a bit of attention to myself and finally I
stalked out of the building.
And if that wasn't bad enough, Patch came and told me that Jack had
danced with some other girl the entire time after I left, the nerve!
I was sitting in Central Park, more then anything I wanted to be by the
ocean, but the nearest body of water was in Brooklyn and I wasn't going
there. So I had to make due with grass and rocks. I was cooling down
some, the hate now just smoldering embers. I heard someone approach
but didn't turn to see who. The person sat next to me, placing their
hands on their knees and looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I
saw Patch. "Hey" I said figuring I had to talk sooner or later.
"hi" she said softly and leaned back to rest on her elbows. "You alright?"
I continued to stare at the rock in front of me "yeahwell no, he just gets
me so mad, he thinks he's so great and can't deal with the fact that I
won't bow down to him. He's obnoxious and rude, and pretentious I
can't stand him!!" I blurted out. Patch nodded understandingly and put
a hand on my arm. "He's not so bad when you get to know him." I
whirled around to face her "fine take his side." I spat out standing up.
She stood up and looked me square in the eye "don't be dumb I'm not
taking his side and you know it." I nodded "I know I'm sorry, he just
makes me so frustrated." I looked at Patch and could see there was
something she wasn't telling me "what is it?" I asked. "It's about Jack"
she started "after you lefthe danced with Shasta, the entire time they left
together." The rage I felt bubbled up inside me again and I had to do all
that I could not to let forth with every profanity I know. I bit back my
anger, turned and walked back to the lodging house leaving Patch alone
in the park.
I fell alseep early that night before anyone had even gotten back, bitter
tears rolled down my face as I wiped them away angrily. For the next
few days I avoided Jack and Shasta until they cornered me leaving no
escape.
"July! We have to talk" Jack yelled out as I deliberatly ignored him and
kept walking away from the distribution center. "July!" he yelled again. I
picked up the pace a little but Jack ran and caught up pinning me against
a building, Shasta in tow. "We have to talkto explain" he started. I
glared at them bitterly "I think you've explained your selves well enough
these last few days" I said in a cold voice. "We didn't mean for it to
happen honest." Shasta said "It doesn't matter if you meant for it to
happen or not, it did, your not who I thought you were and that's all
there is to it" I snapped. She looked at me like I'd slapped her across the
face "July" Jack tried again "be reasonable." My eyes narrowed "that's
easy for you to say, fine you want reasonable, I hope you two are happy
together, but don't come bitching to me Shasta when he leaves you for
the next new girl who comes along." I pushed past them and stalked
away, glad they didn't follow.
So that was the end of that, life goes on. While I was going through this
little love crisis I had ignored everything around me, so I was a little
surprised when I found out that Tibbys was being shut down due to
failing the health inspection. The newsies were all riled up about it too,
supposedly the only way Tibbys would stay open is if Tibby himself could
pay the fine. With his profits we doubted this would happen but the
newsies were dead set on keeping the restaurant open.
"Can't we sell extra or somethin' and help em out?" Boots asked. A few
yeah's came from around the room. "How would a few extra cents help
pay a fine dat big?" Jack asked shaking his head. I still wasn't on
speaking terms with Jack or Shasta so I paid him no attention as more
ideas were called out. After an hour of useless futile arguing nothing
was decided as we all went our separate places. I headed for the bunkroom where Jewel, Copper, Clink, Cone, and West were sitting,
discussing the best way to make money for Tibby. "What do you think
Jules, sell extra or sell the stuff we don't need?" West asked. I shrugged
"they both sound like bad ideas to me, why don't you get a job that will
actually pay money, I'm sure Medda will hire you." They gave me
shocked looks "as a waitress not a whore" I said rolling my eyes. Copper
nodded "that might work." Clink hit her on the shoulder "you only wanna
do it so you can meet guys." Copper grinned "I don't see you objecting
to the idea." Jewel laughed at them, "you two have boyfriends
remember, Jake and David those nice kids down stairs" "What's wrong
with looking they'll just cheat on you anyway so look at is as a head
start" I muttered. "I sense bitterness." Copper started. "Please save
your psycho-babble for later, I have a headache" I begged. Copper
grinned "ok, but I'll find you later, you can count on it." "grrrreat" I said
with a grin lying down on my bunk and quickly falling asleep.
So the fight to keep tibbys open kept on going strong, a few girls did get
jobs at medda's working night hours. The guys got odd jobs around the
city. I could have paid the fine but if just up and gave the man $500
dollars my secret would be out and the last thing I wanted was for the
newsies to know about my past. Because my past is dead just like most
of theirs, something they'd rather forget so why bring up mine? I could
give a anonyomous donation though and I did, if not to keep Tibby's
open then to get everyone settled down again.