Behind Closed Doors.

This is a little different than the stories I usually write, but I'm trying to break a writer's block, so bear with me. If I continue, it'll be a series of short one shots, about the numerous items in Dumbledore's office, (I'll end making most of them up). Please read and review, flames are very welcome, if you truly feel there is reason for it.

Let's start with the most famous of the items, the Sorting Hat.

I've seen many students come and go, many new headmasters reign supreme, and many new pranks. But I've also seen all the founders leave or die, one by one, until new people enter the office. Some new people treated me with great respect, others are scared of something that can so clearly unravel one's every thought, and others merely take no notice of the lowly hat.

I've seen students run away screaming from my reading of their thoughts. In my opinion, if they can't take it, they should go to Beauxbatons. What a joke that school is. They teach the students "the art of flower arranging."

I'm a firm believer that Hogwarts is the only magic school worth attending. Well, not exactly. A good friend of mine set up a school over in America, since the students and their parents cannot logically fly over to catch a train. It'd defeat the purpose of having continents. Trust me, I remember when that happened.

I remember the greatest couples, Rowena Ravenclaw and Godric Gryfinndor, Tom Riddle and Emily Patterson (a muggle born, go figure), Albus Dumbledore and Atera Potter, Lily Evans and James Potter, and Frank Longbottom and Alice Hutchins.

I remember the stupidest pickup lines. James Potter often had those.

"I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you tonight?"

"I lost my number, can I have yours?" (Lily was appalled when James admitted he had no idea what a number was. She then launched into an hour explanation about telephones and the muggles' use for them. James wasn't listening.)

I've seen the most unusual troublemakers; Godric Gryfinndor had an eye for those with pranks. He had hidden qualities for his students.

"Sorting Hat, I'm going to die soon. So we made you. I know that every certain head has told you a secret quality. Rowena wanted those who were intelligent, as she said out loud. But she also wanted those who already had knowledge of the magical world, as Rowena was never very patient. Helga wanted young lovers destined to be together. He wanted purebloods and those with the ideals of them. Just give me pranksters. At least two, bond like brothers, every seven years. Keep things amusing."

The most interesting pranks have happened around here. Albus Dumbledore was, of course, one of those pranksters. As I once remember, a very angry headmaster scolding Albus for making a mermaid seduce his teacher. During that time, his good friend Caelum Black was setting a tree on fire, in the Great Hall.

Or the time a first year set of Weasley twins stole me. Once, I had told them that I was very bored just sitting in Albus' office. So they did the only logical thing they saw, they stole me to show me a good time. It was quite amusing. They snuck me out into Hogsmeade, and brought me into Zonko's. They always were my favorite pranksters I've sorted.

Them, or Sirius Black and James Potter who would drop by merely to talk to me. Of course, usually, they were merely looking for an alibi for a prank they had just pulled. It's such a shame they had to pick Remus Lupin in their little group, they could have been such great pranksters. But Remus often talked them out of the more advanced pranks. Such a shame.

Yes, so now I sit here, my song is already written and it is only October. Maybe some new Gryfinndor will come amuse me. Heck, I'd settle for a Hufflepuff.