I don't own Harry Potter. I also don't own the song, Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton. i love this song and this is my first songfic, i just kinda put some of the lyrics into the story so it's sorta a different songfic. But i hope you like it! Enjoy and please review!

Tears in Heaven

A room of people separated them…it always did. We were always on opposite sides…no matter how hard you tried to change it.

I can see the movement of red hair over the panicking crowd, I can see the shiny tears of the wizards and witches, I can see the shaking body of the students, but I can't see you. You were covered by them all.

You once told me that death is an amazing thing…I thought you were bonkers, I thought the pressure and the prophecy had finally gotten to you. But then you spoke with such gracefulness and passion that I couldn't help but feel something in the pit of the deep dark abyss that was me.

You once told me that heaven existed; I was ready to scoff at you for believing the foolish muggles. But you had that glint of fire in your eyes and I didn't want to extinguish it…so I went along with it.

You once told me that we didn't belong in heaven. Heaven was the home of the angels and only for those who was ready to move on. And heaven was where everything would be okay and no one was ever separated. I refused to meet your searching eyes.

You once called me an angel. But then you tilted your head in that cute way of yours and you spoke again. You said I was more of a fallen angel, but then you had that confused look on your face again. I didn't speak at all, I didn't want to ruin your imaginations, Merlin knows you can never be like this in front of the public. You snapped your fingers, startling me. You looked at me and the wind picked up on the tower and your tousled hair got even messier. Opening your lips, you spoke in the most loving tone, you said that I had the beauty of an angel. I was speechless. You finished by whispering that you never want me to go back to heaven. I couldn't help but snort.

I said with an arrogant tone, "None of us are going to that heaven place that you believe is real,"

You didn't speak after that. You just looked at me with those emerald eyes filled with so much sadness.

The next day you were gone.

Off to fight the Dark Lord, you didn't even say goodbye. I was ready to give you the cold shoulder when you came back. I didn't once think of what would happen if you didn't.

Well, guess what?

You came back.

There was just one little problem.

Your green eyes were no longer open, you lips were no longer red, your black messy hair no longer had that bounce in it, your hands no longer held warmth, you were no longer…there.

I didn't want to look. I didn't want to look at the hands that would never caress me and never did, I didn't want to see the body that would never curl upon me and never did.

I didn't want to see your lips that would never meet mine…except that one time. I blew it off as an accident but there was a strange look of longing in those jade eyes.

Now I look over the grounds of the majestic castle and I think. I look up toward the sky and wonder if you're up there. Perhaps you're resting on that cloud right there, the one with a purple tint to it. The color would look amazing next to your eyes.

Or…maybe you're sitting on that star, riding it like a broom. A shadow of a smile crossed my face as I thought of it, imagining you speeding across the sky on that shining star.

Then I imagined me sitting behind you, but the dream quickly faded.

Oh Harry…

Are you in heaven right now?

Did you make friends with the angels?

Are you happy?

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?

Maybe you would have given me that cute confused face of yours.

Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?

Maybe you would have shown me that mask of yours.

Would you hold my hand if I saw you heaven?

Maybe you would have, but it won't matter because your hands would still be cold.

Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?

Maybe you would have, but you would then leave me standing alone and follow the others who actually belonged in heaven.

Do you like it there Harry?

If I climbed up the snowy mountain and rode the silvery dragon to reach heaven, would you have smiled?

If I reached out my hand and asked you to come back, what would you say?

You probably would have refused.

You would have looked at me with those eyes filled with love and sadly shake your head. You would mouth a silent no. you would press your fingers to my cheek and wipe away the tears that were bound to be there. You would then lean over and kiss me.

But I wouldn't respond.

You know why?

You're so cold Harry, my cheeks would grow pale as the coldness from your fingertips seeped into my skin. My lips would turn pale blue from your icy breath. It's so cold, you're so cold.

Why?

You were supposed to be warm. Harry…why aren't you my warmth anymore? Why is it different?

There's so much coldness.

Overcome by it, I would leave heaven and drop down back to reality. As I am right now, bundled up in your cloak, at the Astronomy tower. The closest I could get to heaven.

I couldn't stay in heaven, not even in my imagination.

I'm sorry Harry.

I'm not ready yet, I need you so much…but I…can't.

It's not time.

But I promise you, when it's time, I'll meet you up there. And then we would race around the sky dodging rain and clouds on our stars that were like brooms. Then we would laugh and grin and I would pout because you would always be a bit further than me. But then I would catch up and you would give me that mischievous look of yours.

However, that's in the future.

Right now, I'm staying down here looking at you up on the sky riding the big shiny star waiting for me. And I smile at you as I see you laugh and play with the angels.

Tears are running over my cheeks and my quivering lips. You look so happy Harry.

I can't wait to be with you again, to feel you again.

You will wait for me, won't you Harry?

You will remember me, won't you Harry?

Please do.