He felt those lips press against his. His partner was the rougher of the two of them in absolutely everything, except kissing, his kisses were gentle, sweet. They tasted of cheap booze and restaurant burgers, but he could never get enough of it. He knew it was breaking about one million rules, but at the rate things were going, he was going to fall anyway so why not make the best of things?
They pulled away from each other and he looked into his partner's eyes. The most beautiful deep green he'd ever seen on a human, they conveyed the whole spectrum of human emotions from sadness to joy, strength to weakness, fear to longing. He felt he could read into his soul just by looking into those eyes. His partner felt almost the exact opposite, all he saw in those angelic blue eyes was a mystery. They looked at the world with a bizarre sense of wonder, like the eyes of a newborn child. They took in everything around them with careful detail and accuracy, he never had to take in anything more than once. He found everything amazing from the smallest ant to the tallest tree. Everything was beautiful and special, no two things were alike.
There were so many differences between the pair it was a surprise to even them that they were together. When Dean looked at the world, he struggled to see the good in it and in people. He was a lost soul on the endless plain, but no matter what came his way he never backed down. He held his head high no matter the circumstance. He had been trained from a young age to be a grad 'A' hunter. He was born to save people from the things that hid in the dark, the things most people only saw in nightmares and horror movies. He was a wise cracker and was never at a loss for a witty comeback. His chiseled chin and prominent features made him a hit with women which he never minded. He followed orders when they came from his father, but otherwise he made them. Dean cared for his brother Sam more then anyone else in the world even to the point where he'd trade his life for Sam's. He even did once and that was how they had met.
Castiel, his name alone held an air of importance to it. He was an angel of the Lord who had been sent to Earth for one purpose, rescue Dean Winchester from Hell. The vessel he inhabited, a man named Jimmy Novak had to be the most innocent looking man Dean had ever laid eyes on. What he lacked in physical strength he made up for in smarts and wherewithal. Like Dean he followed orders from his father to a 'T' or that is he used to, before he found out about the corruption of the highest levels of Heaven. The archangels had taken over Heaven and had put the pieces in place to begin the end of it all, the apocalypse. It had begun, the end was nigh, Lucifer was free from his cage and the end of the world was coming. The archangel Raphael had told Castiel that God was dead and now the only way to achieve paradise on Earth was to defeat Lucifer.
That's where both Dean and Sam came into play in the grand scheme of things. Two brothers, a younger that looked up to and revered the elder brother with all his heart, but was looked down upon and outcast by the older. The Winchester brothers were a living
re-enactment of Lucifer and Michael. Dean was to be the vessel for Michael and Sam of Lucifer. Neither of the brothers wanted to consent to the angels though for a fight between them would inevitably lead to the death of one or the both of them. Castiel was on a seemingly unending journey to find God for this very purpose. He didn't want them to have to fight and he didn't know what else to do. What he did know was that he had to hurry, he was slowly being cut off from God's powers... Castiel was falling. He knew if he could find God though he could set everything right again.
Lucifer's words to him rang like a bell in his head. If they defeated Lucifer he had said Castiel was next. He was committing so many sins that it wasn't a surprise to him that he was, he himself was surprised they hadn't totally cut him of from his powers yet. It was happening a little at a time though, soon he'd no longer be an angel, soon he'd be a human. Lucifer had asked Castiel to join him and he'd replied no, it would take more than a threat to turn him. Castiel wasn't so easy to sway on such serious matters, especially when it could end up hurting the Winchesters in some way.
Dean got up from where he sat on the old, moth-eaten bed of the cheap motel the Winchester's had booked for the hunt they were on. Castiel looked up at him admiring how strong an air he gave off just by looks.
"Do you have to go?" Castiel asked him even though he knew the answer.
"You know I do. I have to keep up my appearance or Sam will begin to wonder and poke his nose in." Dean explained
They had been keeping their relationship a secret from Sam. Only because they were afraid of how he would react if he found out though. This meant Dean had to keep up his appearances with women or Sam would begin to wonder what was up, he was already starting to catch on. Dean still wasn't totally comfortable with the whole fact Castiel and him were together in the first place so he didn't mind in the least, but Castiel did.
"I wish you didn't have to" Castiel told him, hoping that maybe this would be the one day Dean would agree with him.
"I'm sorry, I'll try not to be gone long." Dean apologized as he grabbed his brown leather jacket and threw it on over his blue flannel shirt. He turned back to where Castiel had been sitting when he reached the door, but he was already gone. Dean felt a small knot in his gut as he left the motel and headed for his Impala.
Dean drove to the nearest bar and as he entered, he surveyed the dimly lit room for the most available female in the bar. His eyes fell upon a woman who was sitting alone on a bar stool, her dirty blonde hair falling in loose curls over her shoulders. He made his way casually over to the empty stool beside her.
"This seat taken?" Dean asked her and the woman turned her head to see who was talking.
"Oh uh... no" She replied.
"Good" He smiled as he took the seat.
"What would you like?" The barkeep asked him
"Two beers, one for me and the other for this fine lady beside me." Dean said and the woman blushed a bit.
"Coming right up" The barkeep said.
"So what's your name?" Dean asked her
"Its Amanda" She replied turning to face him. "What's yours?"
"I'm Dean" He answered.
"Well Dean, you sure work fast don't you? I'm sure you buy all the women you see a drink." Amanda said
"Only the exceptionally gorgeous ones" Dean replied and she blushed under her collar.
"So I'm exceptionally gorgeous?" She questioned still blushing
"Of course" He answered.
"Here are your drinks" The barkeep interrupted as he slid the beers down the bar to them.
Dean took a quick sip of his before he turned back to Amanda. He spent the rest of his time talking to her and putting moves on her, but by the end of the night she still wasn't buying. Despite his best efforts Dean went home alone that night. He fell asleep soon as he hit the bed in the motel. When Sam came back a bit later he chuckled to himself when he spotted Dean collapsed on the bed. He was quiet getting ready and crawling into his own bed so as not to wake Dean.
Dean woke late in the night to a soft fluttering sound. He opened his eyes and let them adjust to the dark room around them. He lay still on his moth-eaten mattress as shapes became more visible to him. He could see the shape of a human standing a few feet from his bed and his heart raced.
"Hello?" Dean questioned aloud, grabbing the handle of the knife he kept hidden under his pillow. He was ready to spring and attack in the situation called for it.
"Hello Dean" He heard the familure voice of Castiel respond.
"Cas? Don't do that!" Dean exclaimed
"Sorry" He replied.
"I was about to stab you" Dean told him.
"Sorry" Castiel repeated.
"Its fine" Dean said. "What do you want?" He asked as he looked at the digital clock on the nightstand be the bed. It read 3:30am in neon green. He knew from expirience that he wouldn't be getting back to bed and he grumbled under his breath. "So what's so important that you had to wake me up?" He asked again.
"We need to talk" Castiel said.
"Should I wake Sam?" Dean asked
"No" Castiel replied. "We need to talk about you."
"What about me?" Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You have to stop it" Castiel told him.
"Stop what?" Dean questioned "You're being a little vague here Cas."
"You know what I mean, the women" Castiel said.
"What about them?" Dean asked him
"You have to stop" Castiel answered
"Why?" Dean wondered a little outraged.
"Try to understand how I feel," Castiel replied and turned away from Dean.
"Do you think I like having to do this?" Dean asked him
"Yes actually I do" Castiel answered turning even further away.
"Look at me!" Dean shouted and grabbed Castiel by the shoulder and spun him around so he was turned toward him again. Castiel looked up at Dean slowly their eyes locking.
"Show me some respect" Castiel told him.
"You should go" Dean told him.
Castiel shook his head, his eyes pleading for the words he knew he was about to hear to never leave Dean's lips.
"We're done" Dean said and turned his head away.
By the time he turned back Castiel had disappeared. Dean plopped down onto the edge of his bed. He was still staring at the spot where Castiel had stood when Sam woke up four hours later. As Sam left to grab them some breakfast before they had to start investigating for the day Dean remained in his spot.
Weeks passed with zero word from Castiel.
"I miss you," He whispered softly to himself as a solitary tear ran down his cheek and he quickly brushed it away.
He could feel those soft lips on his.
As the day began to wane Dean decided to go out. He entered the closest bar he could find and bought himself a drink.
"Hey handsome" He heard a female voice say beside him. He turned to see a woman beside him. Her pale green eyes reflected the dim light from the bar making them appear as if they were sparkling. "What's your name?" She asked
"Dean" He replied duly.
"Well Dean, its Friday night. Don't be so glum" She told him.
"What if I do?" He asked
"Well... then maybe I just wont go home with you." She winked at him and he felt a familiar smile cross his face for the first time in weeks. "That's more like it. Now how about you and I get out of here?" She asked
"Hold on! I don't even know your name" He said.
"Its Anna" She told him.
"Well I'm sorry Anna, but I have somewhere I gotta be" He told her. "Maybe tomorrow night."
"It's a date" Anna smiled and she left the bar.
Dean finished his drink and ordered two more before he returned to the hotel. Sam and him had a case to solve and Dean knew if he couldn't keep it together something could go horribly wrong and someone could die. Dean knew he couldn't do the job with his head up in the clouds.
Sam and Dean returned late that night and they both collapsed soon as they hit the bed. Dean found himself waking up in the middle of the night despite his exhaustion. He looked at the clock, it read 3:30am and Dean rubbed his face with his palm. He then sat up and just stared at the wall contemplating his life for the longest while.
When he got bored he stood up and paced back and forth in front of his bed like a caged animal. He pounded his fists against the wall in frustration and tears rolled down his cheeks. He slammed the wall with his fists till they were sore and his knuckles were bloody. Sam woke during his fit, but never opened his eyes. He was used to Dean's fits and he thought it better to just let him get it out of his system uninterrupted. When Dean wanted to talk he'd listen, but for now he though it safer to just let him be. Dean finally gave up around 4 in the morning, plopping back onto his bed and passing out. Sam got up from his bed quietly and left the hotel.
Sam knew something was wrong and he also knew it had something to do with Castiel's sudden disappearance. They hadn't seen the angel in over two weeks which considering the circumstances was odd. The apocalypse was on and just now he'd decided to be missing in action. Sam kind of hated to admit it, but they could use his help with tracking down Lucifer.
Lucifer, light-bearer. Sam had read every book and article he could find on him in hopes that something could help and that one piece of information in particular peeked his interest. His name translated directly from Latin meant light-bearer. Sam found that interesting although he wasn't sure why. Lucifer, the fallen angel, cast out of Heaven for hating man and loving God above all else. It was odd how much Sam felt he could reflect on his story. As Lucifer drew closer to prosueding Sam to be his vessel. Sam wouldn't... couldn't let that happen. He'd earn Dean's trust back, he had to and he knew if he gave in that would never happen. It was going to be hard enough to do that as it was. After what he'd done... he'd chosen a demon, Ruby over his own brother and he'd paid for it. He had been the one to kill Lilith the first born demon and in doing so he had broken the 66th seal and set Lucifer free in the first place. It was Sam's fault all of this was happening, but Sam knew he could turn it all around. He'd find a way to kill Lucifer if it was the last thing he did.
When Dean woke Sam was still gone. As night drew closer Dean wondered where Sam went off to. When 9 o'clock hit and Sam still wasn't back, Dean decided to go back to the bar he'd gone to the night before. He sat on a creaky bar stool and drank beer after beer. By the time 10 o'clock hit he'd had five. Then he laid eyes on Anna as she entered the bar. She waved when she met his eyes and approached him.
"Hi Dean, I was afraid you wouldn't show" Anna said.
"Why wouldn't I? Promised I would didn't I?" Dean replied
"Well you don't necessarily look like the kind of guy to keep his word" She told him.
"Well you got me there" He smiled and she giggled a little and Dean felt like something was right for the first time in the longest time. "What do you say we get out of here?"
"Thought you'd never ask" She answered.
Anna followed Dean out of the bar and to the Impala. He opened her door for her and then got into the driver's side of the car. He drove till they reached a spot where the road turned to dirt and the houses and telephone poles turned to trees. Dean halted and parked the car and Anna and Dean just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. They moved to the backseat of the Impala. Dean slowly leaned in and kissed her lips.
He felt his hand on his shoulder.
Anna lifted off his shirt and kissed him again. She laid him down on his back and her hand brushed over his left shoulder. There was a permanent, raised, red mark in the shape of a hand from where Castiel had pulled him from Hell. She placed her hand over it and kissed him yet again.
He felt those soft lips on his.
Bodies mingled together in a heap. Sweat and passion coming together all in one moment. They gave to the others every need. The car filled with the music and sounds of the moment.
He felt his body on top of his.
Hand grasped and pulled at hair. Both time and reason had no meaning. Dean unleashed all the pain, wanting, suffering and need he'd been keeping pent up for the past few weeks.
He felt those arms around his body.
He saw it all. He wasn't a peeper or a stalker, at least not by normal standards. He had been watching Dean closely though. He had promised himself that he'd stop, but he just couldn't help it. The things he was feeling were so strange and unusual to him that he wasn't quit sure how to deal with them.
Castiel was new to the whole concept of having emotions. They were all such a strange new experience to him. This instance was no different. He wasn't really sure what it was that he was feeling. It could have been rage, frustration, jealousy, hate, anger or all of the above he couldn't tell. All he knew though was that he didn't like this emotion and he wished for it to go away and never return.
Castiel wished he hadn't seen them. He wished he'd never followed Dean and that girl to this place. Above all else though he wished that none of this had happened at all. That Dean and him were still together and had never broken up.
Castiel wasn't sure on what to do. What he did know was that he wanted this raging emotion to stop. He wanted to hurt Dean the way he was hurting now. Then an idea came to the angel, Sam. Castiel was aware of how much the Winchester's cared for each other. He knew like most that if you really wanted to hurt one of them you had to hurt both of them.
He knew where Sam was and he knew he could get there before Dean. Sam had moved to a cheaper motel closer to the job site and since Dean had been gone he had left its location and motel phone number in code on a notepad in their old room where Dean could find it. The plan was flawless.
He felt those lips press against his.
Dean drove Anna home under the cover of total darkness. It was around midnight and Dean was sure Sam had to be at least a little worried. Even if Sam might know what he was doing he didn't know where Dean may be and that was the aspect that was sure to worry him and get him into an argument.
After dropping off Anna, Dean drove to the motel and upon entering found the code Sam had scrawled on a notepad on the side table of his bed. Dean wasn't surprised Sam had gone without him one of the many problems with being a hunter was being tight on money and that meant having to search for the cheapest motel in the area. They got by on credit-card scams and money Dean won from poker games every now and then. They had at least twenty different names for every state they entered and none of them were Sam and Dean Winchester.
These scams also meant though that they had to finish jobs as quickly as possible before someone caught word. This meant they had little time to relax and went many nights without any sleep. Just another price of the job.
Along with that though Dean knew that staying in the same motel for to long was dangerous. Remaining in the same location to long meant it was easier for them to be found, captured and or killed. The more they moved the harder this became.
Dean grabbed the phone from it's hook on the table beside the bed. He punched in the phone number Sam had left in code in his note. The phone rang once, twice, three time. It rang five more times before the automatic voice message picked up. Dean punched in the number again, but no one picked up. He put in Sam's cell number.
"Come on, Sam pick up." Dean said to himself as the phone rang and he grew worried.
When no one picked up he decided to try once more, but no dice. Dean knew something was up. Sam would never ignore his phone unless something was wrong. Dean grabbed his jacket off the bed he'd thrown it on and ran to the Impala as quickly as he could. He threw the car into drive and punched the gas. He pushed the car as fast as it would go and still willed it to go faster. With the troubles they faced everyday every single nanosecond counted. One second off could mean life and death for someone in this field. He spun the wheel with quick precision making every turn on a dime and not bothering to stop for a light or sign. He had one more curb before he got to the hotel.
The neon red 'n' in the hotel's sign flickered on an off. He felt the bed against his back and his body on top of his before he even saw the room.
Sam heard the knock on the door and he rushed to answer it hoping it would finally be Dean. Upon opening the door though he discovered it to be Castiel.
"Oh Cas!" I thought you would be Dean" Sam said.
"I know" Castiel said.
"So where have you been all this time?" Sam asked him
"Away" Castiel answered.
"Where to?" Sam asked
"Just away"Castiel repeated
"I don't get you. The apocalypse is here , you disappear for nearly a month and when you finally do return you don't even bother to explain where you were or why you left!" Sam said aggravated
"Trust me I'd explain if I could, but its... its complicated." Castiel explained
"Try me" Sam demanded. "I know it had something to do with Dean. He's been like a slow train wreck since you disappeared. Please, I need to know what's wrong and he wont tell me. So please tell me." Sam pleaded and Castiel looked away
"Look at me!" His words echoed in his ear.
Castiel sighed and looked back up at Sam. The motel phone rang in the back of the room.
"I should get that, it could be Dean" Sam said and turned toward the direction of the phone.
"Its not" Castiel lied and Sam placed his attention back onto Castiel.
"Tell me what's going on" Sam demanded of Castiel once more and he pondered on wether or not to tell him. He also debated on what to tell him and what not to tell him. Castiel sighed again.
"This isn't easy for me either" Castiel finally said. "You don't know what I've sacrificed! I..." He trailed off. "If I could take it all back... If I could change the course of events I would." Castiel told Sam and his eyes grew soft and regretful as he looked at him.
Sam's cell went off hin his jeans pocket.
"Hold on its Dean" Sam said and reached into his pocket for his phone.
"I know" Castiel said. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Sam asked as he pulled the phone from his pocket. He met Castiel's eyes and he picked up on the feeling that something was wrong.
"I'm sorry" Castiel repeated and before Sam could even blink Castiel had punched Sam backwards with all his strength.
Sam flew back and hit the wall. The whole wall shaking with the impact. Leaving an indent in the wall where he had hit. He staggered forward in excruciating pain. He'd been trained to work through the pain and that's what he knew he had to do if he wanted to survive this.
He moved forward and swung at Castiel nailing him clean in the jaw. He spit blood and hit Sam back. Blood drizzled down his face from a gash in his head. They traded punches till they both heard the sound of gravel being crushed under tires.
"Sam!" They both heard Dean holler.
Dean rushed into the room and saw them covered in blood and sweat. Castiel looked at Dean and his usually sweet and kind blue eyes turned cold. Dean came at Castiel and aimed to hit him in the gut. Castiel hit Dean to the ground with his full force, knocking him out cold before Dean could even land the punch. He then turned and hit Sam backwards.
Hands touched.
Castiel pulled a knife from his pocket and came at Sam. Sam made contact with Castiel at the same moment that he hit Sam in the chest with the knife.
Lips touched.
Castiel stood back and extended his right arm. He concentrated all that remained of his angel powers on the knife.
Bodies touched.
The knife moved and twisted deeper into Sam's chest as if guided by an unseen hand. It neared Sam's heart and he reeled in pain and agony.
"We're done" The voice echoed.
Castiel gave his palm a finale flick and the knife twisted in the last inch and hit Sam's heart. Sam fell to his knees, his eyes rolling into the back of his head and blood pouring from the open wound. Castiel walked forward and pulled the knife from his chest and Sam fell forward to the ground. Castiel looked at his lifeless body with unfeeling eyes. He picked up the motel phone and dialed 9-1-1 and disappeared before the cops and ambulance showed up.
His hand rested on his shoulder.
Dean woke up in the middle of the next day. His body ached all over and he had a brace on his head and neck. The police came in after he'd been up for a bit and told him that his brother was dead and they had no idea who had done it. That it was as if the murderer had vanished completely. Dean knew who had done it he had seen it. He knew he couldn't tell them it had been an angel though, they'd accuse him of being crazy.
"Hello Dean" He heard a voice say after the police had left to allow him to get some rest.
Dean cranked his head to the left and saw it was Castiel, sitting in the chair beside his bed.
"What're you doing here?" Dean asked coldly
"I wanted to explain myself" Castiel answered.
"Sure, is that what you told Sam before you...?" Dean trailed off as he chocked back tears.
"No" Castiel said. "You don't understand I... I had to" Castiel told him.
"You had to! Why?" Dean shouted
"Because I saw you!" Castiel told him angrily
"Saw who?" Dean questioned
"You and that... that girl!" Castiel shouted
"So what?"Dean shouted back
"You were purposely trying to hurt me! I had to hurt you back!" Castiel yelled
"Purposely!" Dean yelled louder hoping that someone would hear their quarrel and come running, but he doubted anyone would. He was sure Castiel had done something to make it so no one could hear them. "Its not my fault you were watching me!"
Castiel didn't reply. He knew Dean was right it wasn't his fault. Castiel refused it to be his own fault though.
"Why did you come here Castiel?" Dean asked and Castiel was hurt a bit at just the fact Dean hadn't called him by his nickname.
"I... I want to be with you" Castiel told him.
"Its to late for that" Dean replied coldly.
"To late?" Castiel said with a hint of questioning
"You killed Sam!" Dean hollered "I can't... I can't forgive you for that. I can't love you and we can't be together anymore" Dean told him and Castiel's eyes grew soft and were the eyes of the angel that Dean used to love.
Castiel looked at Dean and a tear rolled slowly down his cheek before he vanished from sight. Dean looked away from the spot where he had stood. Dean had a new goal, after he killed Lucifer he was going after Castiel and he wouldn't stop till he was dead. Castiel had a new plan, he'd go to Lucifer. There was nothing holding him to man now and he knew Dean would be after him. He'd fight by Lucifer's side against Dean till he was dead.
He felt those lips press against his.

-The End-