A/N: This one was written for probably the most well-known RWBY fanfiction writer, and good friend, momoxtoshiro. On Tumblr, she had been complaining about the lack of good Monochrome fics to read so I decided to at least add another Monochrome fic, goodness being a bit subjective. That said this is something I still kinda like, as it perfectly captures my silly writing style. After this, all the other uploads are based on prompts, including what is basically my favourite thing I've ever written, which I realize will never live up to the hype.

Weiss's normally pale face was bright red this evening as she licked her thumb and flipped the page. The rustling of the paper was the only sound in the room as the heiress of the Schnee Dust Company continued to read and get increasingly embarrassed with the words she read. Oh this was awful! Positively dreadful! That a teammate… No, her girlfriend that Weiss trusted her life with on a daily basis would read such filth!

That was when the door burst open. Weiss screeched in horror, scrambling to hide the ill-gotten publication under her pillow.

"You okay, Weiss?" asked Blake, surprised to see her teammate so flustered and frightened. The two sisters said they were going to spar for a bit longer, so Blake had returned to talk with Weiss and get some sleep. She swore she saw something sticking out from under the heiress's pillow but decided it would be better not to ask. After all, she too had her own secrets she'd rather not get out.

Weiss rolled over so that she was facing the wall and not her girlfriend who lay down on the opposite bed. Weiss felt herself sweat more and more, wondering if Blake's cat ears had picked up the sound of flipping pages. Did certain pages sound different when flipped? Could she already know about Weiss's misguided curiosity before she even entered the room? Could her sensitive nose pick up the smell of her nervous perspiration?

"Uh, Weiss, are you okay?"

"Y-Y-Y-Yes of course!" stammered Weiss, bolting upright in her bed and turning to face her confused companion. "W-W-Why do you ask?"

"Well, you are shaking a lot and stammering," Blake said, tilting her head just a little as she eyed up the pale girl. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Before she could stop herself, Weiss snapped under the pressure. Throwing her pillow up, she picked up and threw the book hidden under it at Blake in one quick motion. The raven haired girl, while surprised, allowed her instincts and reflexes to kick in, snatching it out of the air. As soon as she saw the black and red cover, her own face grew a darker shade of red. "How… How did you find this?"

"It wasn't hard!" Weiss snapped back, glaring daggers at the increasingly embarrassed Blake. "I was cleaning up the room because you oafs left it in such a deplorable state that I almost killed myself tripping over all the junk! So I tidied everything up and lo and behold, there is your filth! It's inconceivable that my own gir… teammate could read such trash!"

Blake was embarrassed by this situation but another emotion was rapidly taking over: anger. "These books aren't trash!" she exclaimed, jumping up from her bed. "Samantha Ensei is a magnificent writer who could weave tapestries with words the likes you couldn't even imagine! Just because it's…"

"Enough!" Weiss raised her hand to Blake's face, turning her head away. "You will never convince me that S. Ensei writes is anything more than gutter trash! Honestly, I had hoped you would've had some decent taste, Blake."

"Oh, yeah? And what boring manuals do you read, Weiss?" Blake was fuming. Her favourite author's honour was on the line and she wouldn't let some uppity heiress continue to stampede all over it, girlfriend or not. "I'm a Boring Princess and I Can Only Enjoy Myself When Walking Over What Other People Love?"

Weiss shook her head. "Obviously not, Blake; there's no way you'd catch me reading a novel of such a ridiculous title. No, my choice of literature is far superior to the tacky musings of some misguided ninja lover. No, I only read the finest works of Carolina Aptain."

Blake had been ready to tear into Weiss then and there but she recognized the author name. She blinked in surprise. "Wait… You mean The First Mate's First Mate?"

Weiss laughed. "So it seems it isn't inconceivable that you have some slight knowledge of proper writing. That's a start, at least."

Blake's laughter was far more raucous, as more than a little of it was from relief. The girl doubled over as Weiss watched on with an arced eyebrow.

After the laughing fit wore out, Blake fell back onto her bed, wiping a tear from her eye. "I was so afraid you were angry I was reading smut…"

"Not at all," Weiss said as she sat down next to her and rested her hand in her girlfriend's. "I should hope that you would at least choose some not written by a talentless hack about some worn out clichés."

"Pardon?" Blake was sitting back up. "And what exactly is wrong with Ninjas of Love?"

Weiss scoffed. "What's next? Are you going to ask me what's wrong with not taking a bath for several weeks? Ninjas are so boring and ridiculous! That and Ensei couldn't write a believable love interest if someone handed her the outline for one."

"And pirates aren't? All they do is go around stealing from hard-working people for themselves! At least ninjas fight for honour! That and Aptain's worldbuilding is awfully shallow. So shallow, in fact, that the boats would be considered beached!"

Weiss gasped at the accusation. "You take that back!"

"Make me!" replied Blake, sticking out her tongue.

"Oh I'll make you alright," smiled Weiss, a dangerous glint in her eyes. "Make you walk the plank, you scurvy cat!"

The two girls' laughter rang in the room as the hugged, tackled, tickled, and kissed the night away.