Title: Echoes
Rating: PG-13 for subject matter including sexual assault
Disclaimer: I don't own the Gilmore Girls and I will make no money from this story.
Distribution: This site. All others, please ask me first
Summary: Rory's life turns upside down after her graduation from high school. Author's notes: This is a particularly vicious plot bunny that sank in its teeth and won't go away. It's still a work in progress that I will try to update regularly but no promises.
Feedback: Always welcome. Click the box at the bottom of the page or email me at Abrewer@flagler.edu
The moping had been going on for over a month now. Ever since her graduation, Rory had been quiet and withdrawn to the point of nearly disappearing. She went to work at the Inn, then came home and disappeared into her room. She didn't go out with Jess or hang out with Lane and she never returned Paris's phone calls. Work, home and Hartford on Fridays became Rory's routine. At first Lorelai had put it down to school ending, and then the cancellation of their trip to Europe. With the war in Iraq driving up oil prices, it was just too expensive to fly. But as the weeks slipped by and her daughter's depression deepened instead of easing, Lorelai was beginning to get worried. Something was very wrong with Rory. Lorelai had every intention of finding out the cause. What she hadn't planned on was having this particular discussion in front of her parents.
"Rory what's wrong? You've been sulking for over a month." Emily Gilmore was nothing if not direct. The younger Gilmore's had barely sat down with their drinks when Emily went on the offensive.
"Nothing's wrong Grandma. I'm just tired." Rory answered the question automatically. She was sick of people asking but didn't have the energy to fight about it.
"You are not fine and this is more than being tired. Ever since school ended you've been in this funk every time we've seen you and it's getting worse. You aren't talking, you aren't eating. You're so withdrawn I think you're going to vanish into the couch. What is going on?"
"Mom maybe this isn't the best time to be having this discussion." Lorelai stepped in, trying to diffuse her mother. "Could is possibly wait?"
"No, this cannot wait. And just when do you think we can talk about this? We only see you on Fridays. Look at her Lorelai. She's lost at least ten pounds in the last month."
"Well she had the flu last week." Lorelai knew she was making excuses. And truth be told, she knew her mother was right and was only pressing the subject because she was concerned.
"Stop it!" Rory hadn't meant to scream but she couldn't help it. "Stop talking about me as if I wasn't here!" She jumped to her feet, not noticing that she knocked over her soda. "I'm fine! I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with me! I'm fine!" With that she fled the room, racing up the stairs to her bedroom.
"Sorry about that," Richard said as he emerged from his study. "That phone call had to be taken and it took longer than I thought to settle some issues. What did I miss?"
Neither his wife nor his daughter answered him. They were too busy staring at the doorway Rory had disappeared through. Worry was giving way to fear and twinges of panic. "Mom, Dad, would you please excuse me?"
"Of course. I'll tell Lila to keep dinner warm. It'll be ready when Rory is." Emily Gilmore was a lot things, but dumb wasn't one of them. Whatever was wrong with Rory needed to be sorted out and keeping dinner warm for her was least she could do.
Rory was facedown on her bed, sobbing into a pillow. She didn't even notice her mother come in. It wasn't until Lorelai sat down next to her, that Rory noticed her. She immediately threw herself into her mother's arms, still sobbing incoherently. It wasn't until about 10 minutes later that Lorelai could make out what Rory was trying to say. Chiefly, "I'm sorry." She was repeating the phrase over and over again, like a mantra.
"Baby what's wrong? What happened?" Lorelai couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Rory this upset.
"I can't tell you. You're going to be so mad."
Lorelai got a hand under her daughters chin and forced her to look up. "Rory there is absolutely nothing that you can't tell me. Nothing. I'm you mom, I love you and I will always love you. Nothing you say could ever change that."
Rory was silent for a moment, steeling herself and trying to put off saying the words for just one more minute. "Do you remember the party I went to with Paris? Right after graduation?"
"Yes." Lorelai's curiosity was piqued now, but she didn't asked questions.
"I had a good time. Jess couldn't go, he was working but Paris and Jamie were there and kids from Chilton, and it was fun. There were people from a couple other schools as well and it was really crowded. I lost Paris around 10 o'clock. We just got separated, it wasn't on purpose." Rory's voice sounded very far away, as if she was reliving memories. "I got a soda. It was really hot in there from all the people. Right after I finished it, I felt funny. Kind of dizzy, like I was going to faint or something. I tried to find a bathroom and that's where everything gets fuzzy. I was opening doors and the next thing I remember was waking up in a bedroom. Paris found me. My- my clothes were-" She couldn't finish the sentence. "Mommy I was raped."
For a split second Lorelai saw red. Pure, blazing rage shot through her system, directed solely at the son-of-a-bitch who'd hurt her daughter. A whimper from Rory broke through the haze of anger and forced Lorelai back to the here and now. "Oh sweetheart. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. This is not your fault." Her own tears were falling now as she held Rory close, trying to reassure her. "It's not your fault."
Rory sniffled and forced back a wave of nausea. "But that's not the worse part. Oh God, mom. I don't even know how to say this." The world was beginning to whirl around her and there was a roaring noise in her ears. "I'm pregnant."
The world stopped turning. The last time Lorelai had heard those words utter with such anguish was when she had told her parents that Rory was on the way. "What?"
"I'm pregnant Mom. I'm so sorry." Rory broke down sobbing again. Lorelai automatically held her close, trying to comfort her daughter the way she had when she was baby and screamed with fits of colic.
"It's okay sweetie. Everything's going to be okay."
"How? How can anything be okay again? My future, college, all those dreams we spent years talking about, it's all gone. How am I supposed to be foreign correspondent now? What's Jess going to say? Or Lane? Or anyone at home? What are Grandma and Grandpa going to say? They're going to be so mad. And not just at me, but at you too and you didn't do anything wrong."
"Neither did you." Once again Lorelai made Rory look up. "Look at me. You didn't do anything wrong. Not a thing. None of this is your fault. Not any of it. Do you understand me? This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. I am not angry at you. Your grandparents won't be either." Over Rory's head, Lorelai made eye contact with her shaking, gray faced mother who nodded her assent. She'd been hovering in the doorway, having followed Lorelai up. Emily was fairly certain she was going to be sick at hearing what had been done to her granddaughter. Watching Lorelai comfort Rory, Emily decided to go downstairs and tell Richard what was happening. The very least she could do was spare Rory that ordeal and it looked like the girls could use some privacy right now.
"I'm so ashamed. What's going to happen to me? Or to it?" Rory gestured at her stomach, nearly breaking her mother's heart.
"I don't know babe. I wish I could wave a magic wand and undo all of this. But I can't and we're just going to have to figure out a way to deal." Lorelai was ready scream but her anger and frustration was going to have to wait. "Are you sure you're pregnant?"
"I've missed a period when I've never been late before, I've been throwing up in the morning for the last week and a half, and the 10 home tests were all positive."
"That's adds up to sure. When did you have time to take 10 pregnancy tests? And where did you get them? You haven't gone out in weeks. I can't even get you to Luke's for coffee anymore."
"That's what you're fixating on? Where I got the pregnancy tests?" Rory was relived to hear a note of humor in her mother's voice. It meant her world still existed in some manner.
"Well yes, because if I think of anything else I'll go charging out of the house and will probably kill some innocent boy in my attempts to avenge my daughter. And no, that wasn't a joke. If I ever find out who did this to you, I will kill him. And your father and grandparents will be right behind me."
"No!" Rory pulled away from Lorelai, staring at her mother in horror.
"No. what?"
"At home, people, Dad, you can't tell them about this. I don't want anyone to know who doesn't have to. You can't tell anyone."
"First, your grandparents already know. Grandma was listening outside the door to make sure you were okay." Rory's face crumbled at this pronouncement but she didn't speak. "And second, if you keep the baby, people are going to figure it out. You can't be pregnant and not get huge, it doesn't work like that. It never has, it never will. And third, I can't keep this from your Dad. It's too huge"
"I don't know what to do Mom." The lighthearted moment was over and the gravity of the situation came flooding back to both of them. "I keep trying to get my mind around this whole situation and I just can't. My whole world just shattered and I have no idea how the put the pieces back together. I don't even know if I can." Once again Rory began to cry, but not nearly as badly as she was before.
"It's going to be all right sweetheart. I promise; I'll do whatever I can to help you fix this. You're going to get through this. Everything will be some form of okay."
Rory eventually cried herself to sleep, still clinging to her mother. Lorelai didn't dare move until she was sure Rory was out. When Rory's breathing became deep and regular, Lorelai carefully tucked the comforter around her and made her way downstairs. Her parents were still in the living room.
"I'm sorry about dinner."
"Never mind that. Is Rory all right?" Emily was still having a difficult time processing the information she'd been given and decided the best course of action was to focus on the here and now.
"She's sleeping now." Lorelai paused automatically to pour a drink. She didn't even look at what she was drinking. All that mattered was that a drink would keep her grounded. "Do you guys mind if we stay here tonight? I don't want to wake her up."
"Of course." Emily didn't like the look on her daughter's face. Shock, horror, and anger had driven every bit of happiness and lightness from her eyes. At this moment Lorelai looked every bit of her 34 years and then some. "Come into the kitchen, I saved you a plate."
"Thank you." Lorelai didn't notice what was on the plate her mother set in front of her; she just ate it without tasting it. The elder Gilmores were uncharacteristically silent, waiting for their daughter to speak instead of peppering her with questions they way they usually did. "I think I finally understand how you two must have felt when I was 16. My entire world just exploded. My daughter went to a party, someone drugged her drink and raped her, and then to top it all off she was left pregnant. She didn't tell anyone what had happened to her and she blames herself for the entire thing. The first words out of her mouth were 'I'm sorry'. And then she started worrying that we would be mad at her or that you guys would be angry with me." Lorelai fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. This was not the time to cry.
"I'm going to call my attorney in the morning and then a private investigator," Richard said quietly. "Whoever it was that did this is going to pay."
"While I agree with the sentiment, could you hold off on that until I talk to Rory some more and make sure that is what she wants?" Lorelai asked. She didn't want to start a fight. "She's very embarrassed and ashamed and I don't want to make things worse. I think she's barely holding on as it is"
"If that's what you think is best." Richard sat down heavily at the table, with Emily taking the seat next to him. "But if that little bastard is ever identified-"
"You can help me kill him. Believe me, I have every intention of causing him pain if I can. He hurt my daughter. He will die." Suddenly exhausted, Lorelai pushed the plate away. "I'm sorry. I just can't eat anymore."
"Don't worry about it." Emily reached out and took her daughter's hand. "Whatever you need for Rory, we're right here. Don't hesitate to ask."
"Thank you Mom. I think the first thing I have to do is get her to a doctor. She needs to be checked out. I'll call in the morning and try to get an appointment for Monday. And after that- I don't know. I suppose a lot of this is up to Rory."
"Yes it is. You know better than I do how scared she must be right now."
"I never thought- not in my wildest fears for her did this possibility cross my mind. She's always been so level-headed that I never worried she do some of the stupid things I did. I worried about car accidents and college acceptance letters, things beyond her control, but not this. I can't even begin to think about how she's going to cope or what she'll decide to do. I'm afraid she might keep the baby just because I kept her. That she'll take the teen mom route because that's what she thinks she has to do, not because it's what she wants to do."
"What do you want her to do?" Emily kept her voice gentle.
"I'd like her to have an abortion. Bad enough she's pregnant, but because she was raped? I don't see how she could want to keep the baby."
"And if she does?"
"Then I get use to the term 'Grandma'. Oh god, Grandma! I thought I'd have to be old before I got that title."
"So did I," Emily replied dryly. A second later, all three of the kitchen's occupants broke out laughing. For one glorious instant, the tension of the day dissipated.
"I'm tired." Lorelai couldn't prevent a yawn from escaping as she stretched. "Mom, could I possibly borrow some sweats from you to sleep in?"
"Of course. I'll tell Lila to leave them in the guest room and we'll see you in the morning." Lorelai gave each of her parents an uncharacteristic hug before heading up. The evening had left her emotionally drained and exhausted.
Rating: PG-13 for subject matter including sexual assault
Disclaimer: I don't own the Gilmore Girls and I will make no money from this story.
Distribution: This site. All others, please ask me first
Summary: Rory's life turns upside down after her graduation from high school. Author's notes: This is a particularly vicious plot bunny that sank in its teeth and won't go away. It's still a work in progress that I will try to update regularly but no promises.
Feedback: Always welcome. Click the box at the bottom of the page or email me at Abrewer@flagler.edu
The moping had been going on for over a month now. Ever since her graduation, Rory had been quiet and withdrawn to the point of nearly disappearing. She went to work at the Inn, then came home and disappeared into her room. She didn't go out with Jess or hang out with Lane and she never returned Paris's phone calls. Work, home and Hartford on Fridays became Rory's routine. At first Lorelai had put it down to school ending, and then the cancellation of their trip to Europe. With the war in Iraq driving up oil prices, it was just too expensive to fly. But as the weeks slipped by and her daughter's depression deepened instead of easing, Lorelai was beginning to get worried. Something was very wrong with Rory. Lorelai had every intention of finding out the cause. What she hadn't planned on was having this particular discussion in front of her parents.
"Rory what's wrong? You've been sulking for over a month." Emily Gilmore was nothing if not direct. The younger Gilmore's had barely sat down with their drinks when Emily went on the offensive.
"Nothing's wrong Grandma. I'm just tired." Rory answered the question automatically. She was sick of people asking but didn't have the energy to fight about it.
"You are not fine and this is more than being tired. Ever since school ended you've been in this funk every time we've seen you and it's getting worse. You aren't talking, you aren't eating. You're so withdrawn I think you're going to vanish into the couch. What is going on?"
"Mom maybe this isn't the best time to be having this discussion." Lorelai stepped in, trying to diffuse her mother. "Could is possibly wait?"
"No, this cannot wait. And just when do you think we can talk about this? We only see you on Fridays. Look at her Lorelai. She's lost at least ten pounds in the last month."
"Well she had the flu last week." Lorelai knew she was making excuses. And truth be told, she knew her mother was right and was only pressing the subject because she was concerned.
"Stop it!" Rory hadn't meant to scream but she couldn't help it. "Stop talking about me as if I wasn't here!" She jumped to her feet, not noticing that she knocked over her soda. "I'm fine! I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with me! I'm fine!" With that she fled the room, racing up the stairs to her bedroom.
"Sorry about that," Richard said as he emerged from his study. "That phone call had to be taken and it took longer than I thought to settle some issues. What did I miss?"
Neither his wife nor his daughter answered him. They were too busy staring at the doorway Rory had disappeared through. Worry was giving way to fear and twinges of panic. "Mom, Dad, would you please excuse me?"
"Of course. I'll tell Lila to keep dinner warm. It'll be ready when Rory is." Emily Gilmore was a lot things, but dumb wasn't one of them. Whatever was wrong with Rory needed to be sorted out and keeping dinner warm for her was least she could do.
Rory was facedown on her bed, sobbing into a pillow. She didn't even notice her mother come in. It wasn't until Lorelai sat down next to her, that Rory noticed her. She immediately threw herself into her mother's arms, still sobbing incoherently. It wasn't until about 10 minutes later that Lorelai could make out what Rory was trying to say. Chiefly, "I'm sorry." She was repeating the phrase over and over again, like a mantra.
"Baby what's wrong? What happened?" Lorelai couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Rory this upset.
"I can't tell you. You're going to be so mad."
Lorelai got a hand under her daughters chin and forced her to look up. "Rory there is absolutely nothing that you can't tell me. Nothing. I'm you mom, I love you and I will always love you. Nothing you say could ever change that."
Rory was silent for a moment, steeling herself and trying to put off saying the words for just one more minute. "Do you remember the party I went to with Paris? Right after graduation?"
"Yes." Lorelai's curiosity was piqued now, but she didn't asked questions.
"I had a good time. Jess couldn't go, he was working but Paris and Jamie were there and kids from Chilton, and it was fun. There were people from a couple other schools as well and it was really crowded. I lost Paris around 10 o'clock. We just got separated, it wasn't on purpose." Rory's voice sounded very far away, as if she was reliving memories. "I got a soda. It was really hot in there from all the people. Right after I finished it, I felt funny. Kind of dizzy, like I was going to faint or something. I tried to find a bathroom and that's where everything gets fuzzy. I was opening doors and the next thing I remember was waking up in a bedroom. Paris found me. My- my clothes were-" She couldn't finish the sentence. "Mommy I was raped."
For a split second Lorelai saw red. Pure, blazing rage shot through her system, directed solely at the son-of-a-bitch who'd hurt her daughter. A whimper from Rory broke through the haze of anger and forced Lorelai back to the here and now. "Oh sweetheart. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. This is not your fault." Her own tears were falling now as she held Rory close, trying to reassure her. "It's not your fault."
Rory sniffled and forced back a wave of nausea. "But that's not the worse part. Oh God, mom. I don't even know how to say this." The world was beginning to whirl around her and there was a roaring noise in her ears. "I'm pregnant."
The world stopped turning. The last time Lorelai had heard those words utter with such anguish was when she had told her parents that Rory was on the way. "What?"
"I'm pregnant Mom. I'm so sorry." Rory broke down sobbing again. Lorelai automatically held her close, trying to comfort her daughter the way she had when she was baby and screamed with fits of colic.
"It's okay sweetie. Everything's going to be okay."
"How? How can anything be okay again? My future, college, all those dreams we spent years talking about, it's all gone. How am I supposed to be foreign correspondent now? What's Jess going to say? Or Lane? Or anyone at home? What are Grandma and Grandpa going to say? They're going to be so mad. And not just at me, but at you too and you didn't do anything wrong."
"Neither did you." Once again Lorelai made Rory look up. "Look at me. You didn't do anything wrong. Not a thing. None of this is your fault. Not any of it. Do you understand me? This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. I am not angry at you. Your grandparents won't be either." Over Rory's head, Lorelai made eye contact with her shaking, gray faced mother who nodded her assent. She'd been hovering in the doorway, having followed Lorelai up. Emily was fairly certain she was going to be sick at hearing what had been done to her granddaughter. Watching Lorelai comfort Rory, Emily decided to go downstairs and tell Richard what was happening. The very least she could do was spare Rory that ordeal and it looked like the girls could use some privacy right now.
"I'm so ashamed. What's going to happen to me? Or to it?" Rory gestured at her stomach, nearly breaking her mother's heart.
"I don't know babe. I wish I could wave a magic wand and undo all of this. But I can't and we're just going to have to figure out a way to deal." Lorelai was ready scream but her anger and frustration was going to have to wait. "Are you sure you're pregnant?"
"I've missed a period when I've never been late before, I've been throwing up in the morning for the last week and a half, and the 10 home tests were all positive."
"That's adds up to sure. When did you have time to take 10 pregnancy tests? And where did you get them? You haven't gone out in weeks. I can't even get you to Luke's for coffee anymore."
"That's what you're fixating on? Where I got the pregnancy tests?" Rory was relived to hear a note of humor in her mother's voice. It meant her world still existed in some manner.
"Well yes, because if I think of anything else I'll go charging out of the house and will probably kill some innocent boy in my attempts to avenge my daughter. And no, that wasn't a joke. If I ever find out who did this to you, I will kill him. And your father and grandparents will be right behind me."
"No!" Rory pulled away from Lorelai, staring at her mother in horror.
"No. what?"
"At home, people, Dad, you can't tell them about this. I don't want anyone to know who doesn't have to. You can't tell anyone."
"First, your grandparents already know. Grandma was listening outside the door to make sure you were okay." Rory's face crumbled at this pronouncement but she didn't speak. "And second, if you keep the baby, people are going to figure it out. You can't be pregnant and not get huge, it doesn't work like that. It never has, it never will. And third, I can't keep this from your Dad. It's too huge"
"I don't know what to do Mom." The lighthearted moment was over and the gravity of the situation came flooding back to both of them. "I keep trying to get my mind around this whole situation and I just can't. My whole world just shattered and I have no idea how the put the pieces back together. I don't even know if I can." Once again Rory began to cry, but not nearly as badly as she was before.
"It's going to be all right sweetheart. I promise; I'll do whatever I can to help you fix this. You're going to get through this. Everything will be some form of okay."
Rory eventually cried herself to sleep, still clinging to her mother. Lorelai didn't dare move until she was sure Rory was out. When Rory's breathing became deep and regular, Lorelai carefully tucked the comforter around her and made her way downstairs. Her parents were still in the living room.
"I'm sorry about dinner."
"Never mind that. Is Rory all right?" Emily was still having a difficult time processing the information she'd been given and decided the best course of action was to focus on the here and now.
"She's sleeping now." Lorelai paused automatically to pour a drink. She didn't even look at what she was drinking. All that mattered was that a drink would keep her grounded. "Do you guys mind if we stay here tonight? I don't want to wake her up."
"Of course." Emily didn't like the look on her daughter's face. Shock, horror, and anger had driven every bit of happiness and lightness from her eyes. At this moment Lorelai looked every bit of her 34 years and then some. "Come into the kitchen, I saved you a plate."
"Thank you." Lorelai didn't notice what was on the plate her mother set in front of her; she just ate it without tasting it. The elder Gilmores were uncharacteristically silent, waiting for their daughter to speak instead of peppering her with questions they way they usually did. "I think I finally understand how you two must have felt when I was 16. My entire world just exploded. My daughter went to a party, someone drugged her drink and raped her, and then to top it all off she was left pregnant. She didn't tell anyone what had happened to her and she blames herself for the entire thing. The first words out of her mouth were 'I'm sorry'. And then she started worrying that we would be mad at her or that you guys would be angry with me." Lorelai fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. This was not the time to cry.
"I'm going to call my attorney in the morning and then a private investigator," Richard said quietly. "Whoever it was that did this is going to pay."
"While I agree with the sentiment, could you hold off on that until I talk to Rory some more and make sure that is what she wants?" Lorelai asked. She didn't want to start a fight. "She's very embarrassed and ashamed and I don't want to make things worse. I think she's barely holding on as it is"
"If that's what you think is best." Richard sat down heavily at the table, with Emily taking the seat next to him. "But if that little bastard is ever identified-"
"You can help me kill him. Believe me, I have every intention of causing him pain if I can. He hurt my daughter. He will die." Suddenly exhausted, Lorelai pushed the plate away. "I'm sorry. I just can't eat anymore."
"Don't worry about it." Emily reached out and took her daughter's hand. "Whatever you need for Rory, we're right here. Don't hesitate to ask."
"Thank you Mom. I think the first thing I have to do is get her to a doctor. She needs to be checked out. I'll call in the morning and try to get an appointment for Monday. And after that- I don't know. I suppose a lot of this is up to Rory."
"Yes it is. You know better than I do how scared she must be right now."
"I never thought- not in my wildest fears for her did this possibility cross my mind. She's always been so level-headed that I never worried she do some of the stupid things I did. I worried about car accidents and college acceptance letters, things beyond her control, but not this. I can't even begin to think about how she's going to cope or what she'll decide to do. I'm afraid she might keep the baby just because I kept her. That she'll take the teen mom route because that's what she thinks she has to do, not because it's what she wants to do."
"What do you want her to do?" Emily kept her voice gentle.
"I'd like her to have an abortion. Bad enough she's pregnant, but because she was raped? I don't see how she could want to keep the baby."
"And if she does?"
"Then I get use to the term 'Grandma'. Oh god, Grandma! I thought I'd have to be old before I got that title."
"So did I," Emily replied dryly. A second later, all three of the kitchen's occupants broke out laughing. For one glorious instant, the tension of the day dissipated.
"I'm tired." Lorelai couldn't prevent a yawn from escaping as she stretched. "Mom, could I possibly borrow some sweats from you to sleep in?"
"Of course. I'll tell Lila to leave them in the guest room and we'll see you in the morning." Lorelai gave each of her parents an uncharacteristic hug before heading up. The evening had left her emotionally drained and exhausted.