Not a Tomboy


Kevin yawned loudly as he tapped his foot against the side of the table, resting precariously on only two legs of a chair. His arm hung languidly over the back and he stared into the distance. Nazz was supposed to come over any minute now - she'd sounded urgent over the phone, so he relaxed himself while he waited for her arrival.

Fifteen and still emerging from puberty, Kevin stood at 5"5' and was lean yet muscular. Aside from the Eds becoming friends with the other residents of the Cul-de-sac, not much had really changed over the years. Peach Creek was still full of wacky adventures on a daily basis, most of which Kevin gratefully watched from the sidelines. High school was small as ever, maybe 100 kids in enrolled altogether. Kevin stuck to his primary posse like glue, meandering only casually with his other classmates (save for Eddy, who he was relatively close to by this point, an ironic outcome a twelve year old version of him would've never predicted). There was no doubt that he, Nazz, and Rolf were an unbreakable trio.

Rolf was remained his outlandish self. Tall as a tree and built like a mountain, he was still known as the foreign kid, refusing to leave behind his old-country traditions. And honestly, Kevin wouldn't have had it any other way. Rolf might've been uncanny, but he'd grown accustomed to the familiarity of farm stench and bizarre foods.

Nazz, on the other hand, hadn't blossomed in the way that Kevin had expected her to. She wore baggy clothes to hide all the curves that had developed and over the past two years had slowly diminished her use of make-up altogether. She kept her hair relatively short, keeping the two bangs that framed her face. She was also still a cheer leader, but lately, Kevin had heard her expressing to Sarah that she'd wanted to quit.

He never mentioned it to her, figuring she'd eventually go back to her girly ways that seemed so prominent when they were younger... Eventually.

Kevin scratched his chin, contemplating making himself a sandwich while he waited, before there was a shrill rapping at his door. Kevin cracked his neck and pushed back from the table, the chair hitting the floor with a dainty thud. He smiled. He and Nazz hung out regularly, but it was still always a pleasure to see her. Even though he and Rolf were close, he and Nazz were closer.

Upon opening the door, he was met with a very skittish looking Nazz. She smiled sheepishly as he moved to the side to let her in.

"Sup Nazz," he drawled as he shut the door behind her.

"Hey Kev..." Her voice was just above a whisper, and had he not been listening for a response, he wouldn't have heard one.

"Um." He scratched the back of his head as he eyed her. She was looking at his shirt, as though meeting his eyes was too much to handle. "What's up?"

She inhaled deeply, eyes slipping closed for a fraction of a second, before she smiled at him once again, this time with a distinct demure. "Can we talk in your room?"

He nodded and led her up, growing more concerned by the moment. He couldn't even think of the last time she'd ever been so solemn about something with him. Usually, she was so...

Not this.

She seated herself on the bed as though it were her own, bouncing on the mattress and playing with a loose thread on the blanket as Kevin sat down a few inches away from her. He waited for her to speak. He might've been a relatively petulant guy with others, but this was Nazz, and he had a specific gentility reserved solely for her.

There was no gradual halt, as he'd expected. Instead, she released a trembling breath and allowed her fingers to fall still, before the clutched at each other. It struck him as very sudden.

"Kev," she murmured with anxiety clear in her tone. "What do you think of... Transgender people?"

"Transvestites?" He inquired with a scratch of his hat, noting that the word he used had elicited a grimace from his friend. "I dunno. They're weird, I guess. Why?"

He watched her shoulder sink. For a moment, there was silence, as Kevin stared awkwardly and wondered when she would speak again.

"What would you say..." She breathed out, her voice full of agony. "If I told you I am transgender?"

That didn't go where he expected it. His eyes widened and he physically jumped, causing the bed to shake gently with his movement. "What?" He demanded, feeling his brows furrow.

He watched her heave a shuddering sigh, before she turned to face him. Her face was red. "I'm... I'm a boy, Kevin."

His hands twitched towards each other as he shifted backwards. "Wh- You... Like... But... I've seen you in a bathing suit. You have... Uh..."

She shook her head as he failed to comprehend. "I have a vagina and boobs, but I'm still a boy."

He frowned in utter confusion. "I don't get it."

Hope seemed to glimmer in Nazz's eyes as she attempted to explain, drawing forth her hands. "Like... Mentally. I feel like a boy, even though I have a body of like... A chick."

"Are you sure you're not just like... A lesbian or somethin'?" He inquired with a skeptical look.

She seemed hurt by this comment, which instantly made Kevin feel guilty. "Yes, I'm sure. I like boys and girls, anyway."

"So you're double-gaited." He clarified, wondering why that had never come up before. "If you like boys, why can't you just be a girl anyway? Wouldn't that just be easier? Since like... Most guys aren't gay."

She rose a brow. "It doesn't work like that, Kev. I can't just choose. If I could choose, I'd be a cisgender girl."

He filed away the word 'cisgender' to ask about later, being that all the information she was shooting at him was a lot to soak in on it's own. He contemplated the situation for a moment, before he turned to her once more.

"But... You used to be a girl, right? You liked make up n' girly things... What changed?"

Nazz wrinkled her nose at this comment. "I tried to force it. Maybe I learned to like some of those things over time, but I couldn't make myself feel right when I tried to be a girl, no matter how hard I tried." She paused for a moment. "...Nothing ever changed, Kev. I just... Discovered it. But I've been unhappy for a long time..."

This was all so difficult for him to fathom. Was he supposed to mentally refer to her as a 'he' now? It was so damn hard. He looked at Nazz, and when he saw the pain in his friend's eyes, begging for him to grasp this concept and accept, Kevin knew it was a lot harder for... Him.

His countenance became understanding as he stared at Nazz. "Musta taken a lot of guts to tell me about all that."

He grinned when Kevin said this, posture brightening significantly. "So... You're cool with this?"

Slowly, Kevin nodded. "Yeah, man. I mean, you're like, my best friend." His expression turned somewhat brash. "This is gonna take a little while for me to get used to, all right? Just hit me if I screw up."

He nodded, before he leaned forward and embraced Kevin. Kevin hugged back, rolling his eyes. "...Thanks Kev."

"Sure thing bro," he mumbled as he pulled away. "But most guys don't get all touchy feely on each other."

Nazz sent him a mildly dour glance. "Don't critique me, dude. I've been, like, conditioned to be a girl my whole life, so of course I'm gonna be a little girly here and there."

He shrugged with a laugh. "Anything else I should know?"

He nodded. "Please don't use the word 'transvestite' again. It's... Not cool."

"Whatever you say, dude." Kevin replied. "I'll avoid it."

Nazz smiled at him admiringly. "You're... Really okay with all this?"

He stared at Nazz for a second. The person he grew up with, thinking that his friend was a girl this whole time, having shared so many laughs with and spent so much time with. Nazz was right - nothing changed about him. He was still Nazz, and coming out wouldn't change that for Kevin.

"On one condition." Kevin sent him a wry expression.

Nazz blinked at this. "What is it?"

"Quit cheerleading. You're gonna make people think you're a girl or somethin'."

Nazz smiled, his eyes watering, before he laughed freely and tugged Kevin into an embrace once more. He gladly returned it, laughing with his friend, despite having just labeled hugs as unmanly. When they pulled away, Kevin gave Nazz a noogie and received a gentle push.

"Okay but no foolin'," Kevin piped up. "Let me lend you some of my clothes. If I'm gonna help you look how ya feel, I ain't gonna let you look like some washed-out chump."

With that promise, Kevin and Nazz spent the waning evening being open about their friendship entirely, a barrier now removed. And the two of them knew that it'd be a bond that no one else could hinder.


The end!

I hope you guys enjoyed. I don't see enough trans representation in fanfics (let alone media, but that's a different story). To any cisgender people out there, I hope this was informative for you. But keep in mind that Nazz, at least, in this story, is only one trans boy among many. His words can't possibly speak for them all, despite harboring a relative truth. Also please note that although Kevin is incredibly ignorant when it comes to gender, he's willing to learn and he's also willing to take responsibility for his mistakes.

I guess part of this was sort of venting for me. It was also just that I think we should honestly make more trans headcanons, because honestly, there are more trans/nb people out there than you may think.