A/N: Hello there! I decided to take a short break from my Phineas and Ferb/Harry Potter crossover for this. I really wanted to do this for a long time. Don't worry, I'm still going to do the crossover. From now on, I'm updating each fic every other week. For example, this week I'll start this thing, next week I'll update the crossover, and the week after that I'll update this again. So! This is my second movie parody, so it might be even better than my Harry Potter parody.

Just so you know, this fic is not going to have too much commenting on the acting, because it tops Harry Potter by so much. And no, I'm not going to give Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone a break. Daniel Radcliffe and Zachary Gordon were the same age when they started each series. Heck, even Connor and Owen were slightly better. But that's just because they were offered candy. You know how it works - a three-year-old would do anything for candy. And they've managed to make Manny spoiled yet adorable at the same time. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HATE HIM WHEN HE'S SO ADORABLE. So yeah, I'm not going to bash the actors so much. *pauses to think about it* Well, maybe Andrew McNee (Coach Malone), but other than him, the acting is fantastic. You know, on the movie level, it is a whole lot better than Harry Potter. Yes, I did just say that.

Disclaimer: I do not own the film/book Diary of a Wimpy Kid or any other film/book in the series, or Harry Potter.

~We now present you… commercials~

20th Century Fox Logo: I AM AS MUCH MORE LOUD AND ANNOYING THAN THE WB LOGO AS EVER.

Celebrating 75 Years logo: 20TH CENTURY FOX STARTED IN 1935. JSYK. *becomes a Diary of a Wimpy Kid-style drawing*

Diary: Why yes, I am Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

Celebrating 75 Years logo: Do I look like a wimpy kid to you?

Diary: Fine, I'm Diary of a Film Company. Also, it's September.

Darryl F. Zanuck: Yeah, it's 1934. I think we should merge our company with Fox. It -

Diary: Look, I may have the 20th Century Fox Celebrating 75 Years logo on my cover, but I'm still Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Also, shouldn't it be mid-August? Because most public schools in America start in late August, not mid-September.

Rodrick: Yeah, I don't care. Imma pull an entirely original prank now. At least our filmmakers can keep people as ginomongous jerks, and not just as typical bullies.

Sirius Black and James Potter: Don't blame us, blame Steve Kloves!

Rodrick: Sure. And for those of you who haven't read yoneld's Harry Potter parody, ginomongous is a combination of ginormous and humongous.

Parody readers: The prank?

Rodrick: Oh yes, the prank. Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Zachary Gordon, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Wimpy Kid, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg, Greg -

Greg: I can't hear you, I'm sleeping.

Rodrick: Oh, screw it. GREG!

Harry Potter fans: Yay! This movie will actually be canon, if the beginning is any indication!

Filmmakers: LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Greg: The heck is going on?

Rodrick: School!

Greg: But it's mid-August!

Rodrick: So why have Mom and Dad been calling you for an hour?

Greg: I couldn't hear them, I was sleeping.

Rodrick: Whatever, you're still gonna be late. And just when you're starting middle school, too…

Greg: Huh? *looks over at alarm clock*

Alarm clock: Sorry about that, Greg, but Rodrick made me say it's eight o'clock.

Greg: Oh, okay then - wait, what?

Rodrick: NOTHING! *glares at the alarm clock*

Soundtrack: Let me now trick the movie watchers by making them think it really is morning.

Book readers: Wait, that's not right… we saw right through Rodrick in the book!

Greg: Okay… so why was I still sleeping?

yoneld: Looks like the filmmakers have decided to keep Greg's extreme naivety in. I can't believe he even fell for it in this version, and so much more with the book version. I mean, seriously, even RODRICK couldn't sleep through the entire summer. He was kind of obvious about it. And in this version, there is no way he would have gone to sleep late on the night before school started. I remember waking up earlier than I was supposed to on the first day of school, especially when it was a new school.

Greg: I know, right? It's ridiculous – wait, what?

Rodrick: Hello? I'm, like, still here and stuff?

Greg: So why was I sleeping?

Rodrick: Because you didn't listen to Mom and Dad and played your DSi until late or something like that.

Greg: Do I even have a DSi?

Rodrick: Book Three seems to be hinting at that. Anyways, Mom figured that out, and she's about to implode. She told me to get you while she conveniently waits in the car so that you don't see she's still sleeping. Now move it, idiot!

Greg: Whoa, okay, calm down, man – wait, what?

Rodrick: Move it!

Greg: But I just heard you say that Mom is –

Rodrick: YOU HEARD NOTHING!

Greg: Okay, I don't have time to get dressed here! I have to get dressed while I'm eating and getting my schoolbag ready, because that always works so well! Also, notice how I conveniently forgot to look at the window.

~And now we cut to the kitchen. When are they going to start using decent transitions?~

Greg: Hmm, what should I wear while going downstairs… I could just put on the shirt, because putting on pants while walking is extremely difficult, but that would actually be sensible, and we can't have that, can we? *puts on his pants*

yoneld: Not even in the book.

Book!Greg: *would never walk around with his shirt off unless it's at a swimming pool or something or pour breakfast cereal or milk directly into his mouth from the container*

Movie!Greg: *waits until he's in the kitchen to put his shirt on and pours breakfast cereal and milk directly into his mouth from the container*

Book readers: *implode*

Filmmakers: HE'S IN A BIG RUSH!

Greg: I appear to be great at non-canonically multitasking. Let me now non-canonically pour milk directly into my mouth while getting my school bag. *non-canonically pours milk directly into his mouth while getting his school bag*

Filmmakers: It's all about the ru-

Audience: OMG WE KNOW THE RUSH ALREADY!

Greg: And now I'll shove sugar into my mouth while checking my hair. *shoves sugar into his mouth while checking his hair*

yoneld's sisters: *laugh particularly hard at that one*

Greg: NO MORE MULTITASKING! *ties his shoelace without multitasking*

Chair: Yeah no.

Frank: I WILL BASH YOUR BRAIN OUT WITH THIS PLASTIC BROOM!

Greg: Whoa, calm down, Dad!

Frank: Oh, it's you. The heck are you doing? And how did I get here so fast?

Greg: Maybe you just heard the other noises and got here just now.

Frank: I still don't know what the heck you're doing.

Greg: I thought you've been calling me for an hour! I was getting ready for - *finally looks at the window*

Owl: Me sorprende que no he inspirado las cruces de Harry Potter. Además, no me preguntes por qué estoy hablando en español. *glares at yoneld*

yoneld: What? I had to make you speak some language!

Frank: *there is no way I can top that line* School doesn't start in two weeks! And FYI, school doesn't start at four o'clock in the morning! Now, you woke up your baby brother, and if he doesn't go back to sleep –

yoneld: Trust me, babies sleep through everything.

Frank: We're talking about toddlers?

yoneld: Oh. I don't know, then.

Susan and Manny: TIMING!

Book readers: Okay… not exactly what we were imagining for Manny, but then again, I don't think you can find anyone who looks like Manny.

Frank: Hi, guys!

Susan: Good luck trying to get him back to sleep. I wanted to sleep till six.

Manny: BUBBY!

Audience: D'aww…

Susan: Greg, what are you doing up making all this racket?

Greg: I think it may have been Rodrick. I mean, I specifically remember setting my alarm clock to the right time, so he must have changed my clock, and I know for a fact he woke me up! Also, I appear to be confused.

~And of course Rodrick is faking sleeping~

Frank: Changed your clock, my foot.

Greg: But I swear –

Susan: I don't want to hear it.

Greg: But –

Susan: Just do what I'm about to do: get out of here! *gets out of here with Manny*

Frank: *sniffs the air* Even I, with my dog-like sense of smell, cannot find the source of this horrible smell. *also gets out of here*

Rodrick: *smiles* Oh, it's totally me.

Greg: The smell or the changing my clock?

Rodrick: Both.

Greg: You're a big jerk, you know that?

Rodrick: Why thank you. *turns into paper*

Greg: What am I going to do with this guy? *also turns into paper*

~And the title sequence begins. Pay close attention, we're going to have the same title sequence format in the next movies, too~

A/N: I finally got my desktop fixed, so that's a relief. Next week I'll do the Phineas and Ferb/Harry Potter crossover, so the next update will be in two weeks.

Review or you will start speaking in random languages for no particular reason.