Hello, dear readers. It's me again. I don't necessarily ship Ten/Donna, but they are my mother's OTP. I've written two Ten/Donna fics so far and I figured that it's time for me to write a fic that takes place between the two fics. That is why I decided to write How To Not Murder A Time Lord. I hope that the Ten/Donna shippers out there will be happy with this.
Chapter 1: The Seduction
Donna Noble was somewhat pleased and also slightly confused by the changes in her relationship with the Doctor. She hadn't been aware of his initial attempts at wooing her, but looking back on it, those attempts had been adorably incompetent. For someone who was probably the smartest being in the universe, the Doctor really was an idiot. He was an adorable idiot, though. Now they were in a romantic relationship. They had been for a few months. There was still the running for their lives to avoid being arrested/married to alien royalty/disintigrated but the times in between were simply lovely. The Doctor was charming as always. Sometimes it was because of his fumbling and inability to shut up. Other times, he had that expression, the one where he could soak knickers with a single smirk. Was he even aware of it? Donna could never be sure. This was the Doctor and he was a master of mixed signals. Lately the mixed signals had been exceptionally frustrating because now that they were together, there were times when Donna wanted to jump the Doctor and do rather adult-oriented things with him.
Today, she decided, she would seduce him. She had looked up some information on the internet and would definitely do it. Oh, yes. The Doctor would be putty in her hands. With that thought in mind, Donna headed to the console room. The Doctor was currently doing some repairs on the TARDIS and seemed thoroughly occupied. He was not wearing his jacket and he was covered in streaks of grease, or at least a grease-like substance.
How To Gain His Interest
1. Have Confidence: Men are attracted to confidence. In fact, many men find confidence more attractive than pure physical beauty. Try to be more assertive. It's important to feel confident and attractive when trying to gain the interest of a man. In other words, do not try to be something you are not. Be up front.
Donna was generally a confident person, so this would not be all that difficult. She walked up to the Doctor and grabbed his legs. She then pulled him out from under the console. The expression on his face was one of mild irritation. "Donna, as much as I'd love to converse with you, the TARDIS really needs these repairs."
The Time Lord stood up and almost brought a grease-covered hand up to caress Donna's face, but he paused before returning his hand to his side. Donna smiled at the Doctor and said, "I think that we need to go on an adventure."
"I told you, Donna, the TARDIS needs repairs." the Doctor replied.
"Are they that important?" Donna asked impatiently
"Very important." the Doctor said with a nod.
A groan came from the TARDIS and the Doctor walked over to the console. "Oh, don't be like that." The Time Lord cooed. He then pressed a kiss to the console. "The Doctor is going to take care of you."
Donna raised a brow and asked, "Are you dating me or the ship?"
"You, of course." The Doctor said with a raised brow.
"All right." Donna said with a grin, which faded when the Doctor spoke up again.
"With you onboard, it's much less lonely." the Time Lord said in an I've-definitely-slept-with-my-ship tone. "It's not just me and the TARDIS."
Oh god. Donna really didn't need to hear this. She knew that if she directly accused the Doctor of being intimate with his ship, he would probably deny it. In a cool voice, the redhead said, "Well, as long as you don't try any infidelity with your bloody ship, I won't ask questions."
"Whatever gave you that idea?" the Doctor asked innocently.
Donna opened her mouth, closed it, and spoke once more. "You know what? Never mind. Just... do your repairs."
With that said, Donna walked away. That was one of the weirdest things she had ever experienced, and she travelled with the Doctor. As she walked out of the console room, she didn't look back to see the confused expression on the Doctor's face.
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2. Dress In A Flattering Fashion: If you're trying to seduce a man, make sure you dress in a flattering fasion to get his attention. Confidence is key. If you don't feel sexy, you won't appear that way to a man. If you're more comfortable in jeans and tees, try picking a flattering, sexy casual outfit rather than forcing yourself into an evening gown.
Donna searched through her wardrobe to find an outfit that would gain the Doctor's attention. Miniskirt? No, she wasn't 21 anymore. Cocktail dress? Too much leg. Lingerie? That was way too up front. She wanted to seduce the pants off the Doctor, not scare them off. The TARDIS had put some rather risque outfits in Donna's wardrobe. Sometimes she wondered if the ship was messing with her after that comment about infidelity with the TARDIS. Donna let out a sigh and said, "I'm sorry, okay? I know that you and the Doctor's relationship is platonic. I shouldn't have implied otherwise."
The TARDIS let out an approving hum. Donna returned her attention to searching through her clothes. Finally, she found it. It was a calf-length sundress, white with little bananas embroided on the right lower side of the skirt. It was silly but rather adorable. After putting on a strapless push-up bra, she slipped the dress on. She took a look at herself in the full-length mirror. It showed just enough leg and enough cleavage to tease without being indecent. It was demure but sexy. Oh, yes. This was definitely the right outfit to seduce the Doctor.
Donna searched for a while before locating the Doctor in the ship's green house. The Time Lord was barefoot, with his jacket hanging off of a lawn chair and his sleeves rolled up. He looked gorgeous in the warm but digitally generated sunlight. He looked like he was harvesting some plants. He already had a basket full of plump, juicy-looking strawberries. As the Doctor placed a stalk of the plant he was harvesting in the basket, Donna cleared her throat. The Time Lord looked at his companion and smiled. A smudge of dirt was on his left cheek. God, he looked scrumptious. "Hello, Donna!" the Doctor said cheerfully.
"Hello, Doctor." Donna replied before asking, "What are you doing?"
"Picking strawberries and rhubarb." the Doctor replied. "I'm going to make a pie later. With any luck, I won't burn it this time."
"That sounds like something worth trying." Donna said. She sat down on the lawn chair, making sure to flutter her skirt.
The Time Lord glanced at her and said, "Nice dress, by the way?"
"Thanks." Donna replied with a smile before coyly saying, "Does it give you any ideas?"
"Of course." the Doctor said, standing up. Donna's face fell when the Doctor continued, "It reminds me that I need to pick the bananas."
With that said, the Time Lord walked off. Donna let out a groan and facepalmed. Why, oh why, was the Doctor so oblivious to her attempts at getting his attention? She had to look up more information on how to seduce a man. Surely at least one of these things would work.
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3. Use Body Language: Do not be afraid to use your body to flirt. This can help a man see you are interested in him sexually. Sit up straight and do not lower your chin. This makes you look confident about your body. Do not be afraid to use gentle, light touches. Touch his arm or shoulder. Place your hand on his knee. Tug at his hair.
"Don't you just love parties, Donna?" the Doctor asked, adjusting his tie.
For a moment, Donna was distracted by just how dashing her Time Lord looked in that tuxedo. She herself was dressed in a calf-length burgundy strapless bodycon dress that she felt slightly self-conscious in. She decided to wear a faux fur shawl with it. "I'd better not be kidnapped and almost get kidnapped by a handsy duke again." Donna drawled.
"I'll keep an eye out for perverted men who want to grope you if you keep an eye out for crazy women who want to marry me." the Doctor replied.
"I'm your girlfriend, so I'd be pissed off if someone else married you." Donna said irritably.
The Doctor raised a brow and teasingly said, "Why, Donna Noble, is that an offer?"
Donna blushed and glared at the Doctor as she smacked him in the back of the head. Getting the message, the Time Lord said, "All right, no more jokes about weddings, then."
"You'd better not do it again." Donna said. She adjusted her shawl and continued, "Now, let's get to that party."
"All right." the Doctor replied. "Just make sure that I don't invent any cocktails centuries ahead of time if I get drunk."
"Wait, what?" Donna was confused.
The Doctor rubbed the back of his head awkwardly and said, "Ah, never mind."
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To Donna's relief, the Doctor had gotten three hours into the party without getting drunk thanks to his weird Time Lord biology. After the 'magic' show was over, the Doctor had spent a while twirling his companion around the dance floor before her feet began to get sore and she had to stop. The Doctor walked away, much to Donna's annoyance. Fortunately, he returned quickly. This time, he had a champagne flute for her and a banana daiquiri for himself. He then sat down to her. With a smile, the Time Lord said, "Having fun, Donna Noble?"
"A lot of fun." Donna replied with a smile.
"Good." the Doctor said. "I can't wait to get you back out on the dance floor."
Donna placed a hand on the Doctor's shoulder and said, "That sounds like fun."
"Oh, very much so." the Doctor replied. "Then, I'll try the banana sorbet with banana nut biscuits!"
Donna smirked and placed a hand on the Time Lord's thigh. "I can think of other things that we could do for fun." The human said seductively.
"Like what?" the Doctor asked, still not getting the message.
"Things that involve," Donna glanced around before whispering in the Doctor's ear, "the coat closet."
"I know exactly what you are thinking." The Doctor said smoothly.
"How wonderful." Donna said, reaching up to stroke the Time Lord's hair.
Unfortunately, it was not to be. With a grin, the Doctor continued, "I've always wanted to count the buttons on the coats in that room."
Donna groaned and facepalmed. The Doctor raised a brow and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing." Donna snapped. "I just..."
"You just what?" the Doctor asked. "You can tell me, Donna."
4. Men tend to be up front about sexual desire. They respond well to blunt suggestions, so don't be shy about expressing what you want.
"I want to go into the coat closet and have my way with you!" Donna hissed in the Doctor's ear.
"Wait, what?" the Doctor said dumbly.
"Do I have to spell it out?" Donna groaned. "You, me, in the closet, doing filthy things with our sexy bits."
The Doctor was silent for a moment. Donna raised a brow and said, "Well?"
The Doctor searched for an excuse before saying, "I, ah, don't have a condom! You're ovulating!"
"Doctor, I have an IUD." Donna said, rolling her eyes.
"Um, I have crabs!" the Doctor said fearfully.
"Wait, what?" Donna was annoyed at this.
"Yes!" the Doctor replied. "In the galley, ready to cook! We need supper! Yes, supper!"
With that said, the Time Lord bolted from the ballroom. Donna knew that she would be able to find him in the TARDIS. Why he was so afraid, she didn't know. What she did know was that she had to look up some more information: how to be patient with your significant other.