Title: "I've Been Killed by Love."
Author: villegirl17 aka Brittley aka Anamaric
Summary: Anamaria's view of her relationship with Jack Sparrow to "Killed by Love." by Alice Cooper.
Pairing/Rating: Sparramaria aka Anamaria and Jack/PG
Disclaimer: I wish I own them, but I don't!
A/N: This song makes me cry but I'm in love with it.
Once again, she's in her bed curled into a ball and holding in the tears that would make her a coward to the world. Once again, she's made a fool of herself to her captainas he walked off deck in the arms of another. In the very arms of a well known whore to spend his 'pleasurable company'. That she knew the other woman wasn't what bothered her in the least, she thought. No what bothered her was the fact that he was with someone else who wasn't her, and the painful thoughts of what tomorrow would bring...
I got more to loose
more to loose than you
cause I'm the only one
in love between us two...
It's been hours since he and the others have left and yet the quiet does nothing like it usually would to ease her mind. All she can think of is how many times he probably kissed someone tonight. How he probably smiled as one girl caressed him and another laughed at his witty jokes. God, her hands hurt form clenching them into fist so tightly to keep her anger bound. Why does he do this to her she'll never know. Does he not see how much she cares for him? It's like a bad star has been placed in her future, and that star is revolving around her happiness keeping it all locked away...
I know that I've been
struck by lightening from above
cause I've been killed by love...
She finally gets some sleep, but it is fitful at best and she awakens to the sound of his boots back on deck. She knows it's him staggering on board because of that dumb song Will's wench taught him is being hummed. Rolling over she makes sure her cabin is locked before pulling the covers over her head. It seems her 'friendly captain' likes to tell his adventures of the night to the first person he sat eyes on, and she knew her heart couldn't take that at the moment.
He does knock however but eventually he gets the message and saunters from her way to his own cabin. She gives a sigh of relief until she thinks again about how bad tomorrow will be. Tomorrow, she will have to see him after trying to persuade him to stay on deck earlier. Tomorrow, Jack would want to know why. She's far from daft and she knows she'd have no home nor pride if it surfaced that she loved him. She couldn't live if he threw a fit and demanded her to leave after telling her the feelings weren't mutual. It actually caused her to inhale and blink away those disturbing tears. To think she was in love with him from the moment they meant, and he never thought of her. She just silently cried and cried behind her protective door until sleep reclaimed her.
I've got a longer fall
A longer fall to take
Cause I'm a bigger fool
with a bigger heart to break...
The Next Night...
So they were off again to another adventure and everybody was having fun below deck. Everyone that is but her as she instead sat scowling across the table as her said 'Captian' for being so arrogant as to force her to attend.
"I'll not have you ruining the good mood Ana. So, attend this evening like everybody else, or I'll be forced to throw you from me crew! Savvy?" were his exact words and the look in his eyes was enough to make her agree. And although she slapped him for it, there really was nothing she could do. So here she was, pitiful and remorseful that she was alone with no one to talk to. It had been three whole hours since the party began, and all that he said to her was 'sorry luv' when he accidently bumped into her.
The anger rose in her chest and fumed thoughout her body like poison. How can he be so blind was dishearting. If she'd been killed in a battle, she wondered, he would most likely toss her lifeless body overboard and go about his day. She shook her head and slid out as quietly as possible...
You pushed me way too far
A push became a shove
Cause I've been killed by love
All that night, the party raved and so did her thoughts. She was miserable feeling what she did and yet not having the means to escape it. If she did leave the Pearl, she risked being found by the Navy or worse her old enemies perhaps. Not only that, but how would she support herself. She'd most likely stave before finding a job in the Caribbean that didn't include her selling her body. Women were of little value otherwise she knew. If she died, she'd never have the chance to be happy or for someone to really love her.
He didn't notice her, and some of it might have to do with her attitude she knew, but she didn't want anyone else to see her either. Confused and upset, she held her head in her hands and cursed the day she was born...
Drop me off in a crowded lonely city
Everybody there was crying
Drop me off in a town without pity
And let me be the one that's dying
Killed by Love...