As babies, and twins, and adorable twin babies Declan and I were forced to take many pictures together. They're actually quite hilarious to look at, really. We'd be dressed in similar fashions, patterns and colors of course. I would have a ribbon in my hair and he would have a tie. We would hold hands for the camera, I would lie on his lap for the camera, we would hold flowers for me for the camera. Oh the things you can make 8 month old children with no free will of their own do. The favored pose, by everyone from the photographer to the recipients of the pictures, was the kissing pose. I would have on a summer dress and a hat (stylish even in diapers, I was) and he, in his baby tux, would lean in and kiss me on the lips.
I still don't understand why adults find so much joy in that.
When we were a little older and living in France, it was an expectation that every time you saw someone you were close to, you'd kiss them hello and goodbye. So whenever we went to our gender-separated private schools in the morning we heard "Declan, kiss your sister goodbye." And at night, "Fiona, dear, give your brother a kiss goodnight". It was always just on the cheek, but it would drive my brother crazy. Whenever Mother would turn away he's spit on the ground as if to rid himself of the germs that my cheek apparently held.
I'd always make sure to make my kisses extra enthusiastic, just see him scowl.
When I was 10 and we were living in Germany my brother got into his first fight…over me. Some stupid 12 year old boy had been in quite a mood and knocked me down in his quest for someone with lunch money. Well naturally I was wearing a skirt. And naturally he caught a glimpse when I fell. So he began making lewd, embarrassing comments about my blue soft cotton panties.
I didn't even see where Declan came from. All I was his fist make contact with the boy's jaw. Now, Declan isn't exactly a fighter but he must have been mad enough because he won.
"Are you ok, Fi?" he asked while helping me up. He didn't wait for me to answer (not that I could when I was trying not to cry out of embarrassment) and pulled me into a crushing hug, kissing my hair. "He won't bother you again. I promise"
And I believed him.
It had been an expectation of Declan since we could walk that he dance with me at least once at all of the schmooze fests and diplomat parties our parents threw. He hated it, avoided it with all his might, and waited until there was only one dance left to do it, but he always asked me politely, complete with a sarcastic bow. And then we would dance, and he would step on my foot on purpose , a stupid move considering I would reciprocate the action and was always wearing heels.
But by the time we hit 13 there really was no use in complaining or avoiding it, and he would ask me several time throughout the night for a dance. And before and after every dance we would bow and kiss my hand.
He's always been quite the card, really.
I broke up with that Sebastian guy at the age of 15 over a letter. We'd been apart from each other for a year and a half and we both knew that our relationship was nothing more than a pen-pal wish. It still pained me to do it. I was breaking up with my first boyfriend! So I cried the entire afternoon, and into the evening, and I even missed supper. So Declan came up to my room to make some sarcastic remark, only to stop cold. He spent the rest of the night holding me in my room and listening to me wail, all the while kissing my cheeks hoping to soothe me.
I woke up the next morning to a bouquet of flowers and breakfast in bed.
Riley was a mistake. A huge, stupid, colossal mistake and I have no one to blame but myself. And maybe Declan. After all, I was just trying to prove my theory to him since he didn't believe me about Riley's sexuality. Right? Oh heck, I have no one to blame but myself. That 'playa' of a jock turned out to be nothing more than a jerk. And although I'm happy he finally figured out what was 'wrong' with him, I hope to never see him again. The day I heard that he called me an ice queen, I spent the entire lunch period out in the garden with a very bored Declan ranting. Tactless as he often is, he said to me "In all honestly, Fiona, it's not like he wasn't being truthful." Even at my darkening glare he only continued "you do have a tendency to be a bit…cold toward other human beings". With a kiss to my temple, he was gone.
But the day he heard Riley call me a bitch…he was on a tear. He almost went after him, until Sav convinced him that trying to beat up Riley would most likely result in sudden death. So my brother settled for taking me out shopping that evening, hugging me every time he got the chance and kissing my forehead whenever I looked as if I might even be thinking about what had happened.
And I smile every time I see him with another girl, knowing he isn't this sweet to any of them.
But then came Holly J Sinclair, the oh so High and Mighty of Degrassi. De facto student council president, chairperson of every committee there was, coordinator of every pep rally and planner of every school function. She was the kind of girl Declan and I would always silently make fun of. Who put that much effort into public school? Get your education and get out, sweetheart. So I figured Declan wouldn't take her too seriously. The day that she hit the back of his car while texting was quite humorous. "Stay in the car" Declan had ordered my half heartedly while rolling his eyes, preparing himself to hear the onslaught of "I'm so so so so so sorry"s that was sure to come. He played the role of a diplomat's child quite well, and I smirked to myself at how easily the charm rolled of his tongue. I flat out laughed when he payed Holly J almost no mind, focusing only on Jane. But of course they would run in to each other again. I should have known better. My brother's always liked a challenge and Miss Sinclair was just that. And of course I had to help him. "Please Fi" he'd tried to sound demanding but it fell just short of pitiful. When I reluctantly agreed he'd smiled hugely. And I prepared myself for the affectionate kiss that would inevitably… only to realize he'd stopped paying attention to me completely.
For the days that followed their getting together I suffered Declan's incessant, lovesick ramblings about sweet little Holly J (he'd even refused to tell me what her actual middle name was- one of the first few secrets he'd ever not shared with me). I suffered through his never being home. I even suffered through his ditching me at lunch. But the lack of morning hugs, funny texts during class, and goodnight kisses was terribly irritating.
So when I showed up to school the morning of the pep rally (mother had to drive me since Declan started leaving earlier by himself), taken the coffee out of his hands and found out it wasn't for me, I'd just about had it. I realize I was probably being a bit irrational, a bit immature, and had lost my carefully crafted diplomat's daughter composure but it was hard to care at the moment. Even when Declan glared at me. "If you don't have anything nice to say…" Declan warned once his girlfriend at left. "Come on" I sighed in aggravation.
Lunch pretty much went the same way. "I can't help it, I like people" he'd said to her sarcastically.
"So what do you suggest I do about it" I sighed in relation to my "anti-social problem".
And that's when I tried out for the musical. And made it! But somehow Declan's excitement for me didn't seem…real enough. And then he suggested voice lessons. "You think I need help?" I demanded from him. He was quick to backtrack, stating that it was just standard regulation, and then turned to walk away.
No hug. No "Congratulation, Fi". No kiss.
And there certainly wasn't any affection for him when he came to me and told me that I hadn't actually earned the part. Oh, I forgave him eventually. Besides, Wardrobe Mistress just sounded so much better than any title in a school play. Just as I was preparing to alter Chantay's dress he came up to me, grabbing my hand and turning me to face him. The apology was sweet. "What I did was stupid. It's just, when you're not happy I'm not happy" he admitted with a small smile. I smiled back at him, charmed and delighted that I was still on his mind. I touched his cheek gently, our eyes locking for along moment. Then grinned and turned back to the task at hand.
That night, when he came home (later than I, of course. Sinclair wasn't out of the picture just yet), he wandered into my room and pulled my laptop out of my grasp, pulling me into his arms instead. So we just lay there, I half watching the television on my wall while he kissed my hair. And I smiled the whole time.
A/N: I think I'll just keep adding to this whenever new episodes come out. What about that? Tell me and REVIEW please!
Quick thing, though: my intention was never really incest. But you can take it both ways or however you want