Friends with Losers

by lostlikeme

Your name is DIB MEMBRANE and you are currently trying to SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD by helping an alien invader defeat a cherub in an ONLINE VIDEO GAME. Luckily, you and Zim have more than enough volunteers to build your army and ensure victory. A Homestuck styled Alternate Universe fic, in which a bunch of kids play a game, work in awkward pairs, almost kiss, and save the world.

1. Be DIB MEMBRANE

Your name is DIB MEMBRANE, and today is your THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY. You are not dressed for the occasion because your birthday has never been important, choosing merely to wear your same old UNSMILING GRAY T-SHIRT and DARK BLACK TRENCH COAT.

Unlike other teenagers, you are not stuffing your face with DELICIOUS BAKED GOODS. No, you are currently in the process of RESISTING SLEEP. You have to stay awake in order to spy on your NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR, who, unfortunately for you, is not an attractive female about to undress before your very eyes, but rather, an ALIEN LIFE FORM from the planet IRK.

Equally unfortunate are your INTERESTS, most of which relate to THE PARANORMAL in some way, and are not at all shared by your PEERS. In particular, you enjoy MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES, a television show that caters to your taste in the STRANGE and UNKNOWN. You also like to go up on your roof and use your TELESCOPE to search out the sky for any UNUSUAL ACTIVITY, especially ALIEN INVADERS.

You have a PASSION for UNCOVERING THE TRUTH, and you will shine light onto the enigmas of the world at ANY COST. Most people have called you INSANE ever since you told them you spotted BIGFOOT in your garage using the BELT SANDER when you were NINE YEARS OLD. That's okay with you, because they called all of the GREAT VISIONARIES crazy, and this is just a sign that you are on your way to BEING ONE OF THEM.

The list of exceptions to the people who think you aren't crazy is VERY SHORT. To be more precise, the list contains your three closest and only friends. You enjoy chatting with them even though sometimes they say things like, HEY, MAYBE YOU ARE CRAZY. You've been trying out a new chat client called PESTERCHUM, and so far you're not exactly crazy about it yourself, no pun intended. Your chumhandle is agentMothman for NOSTALGIC REASONS and you type in a manner that is both excited! and espeiallyrushed, because you are very enthusiastic about your INTERESTS and sometimes when you get extremely overzealous you even need to use capslock for EMPHASIS.

In the near future you will play a game with your three friends, in order to save PLANET EARTH from its IMMINENT DEMISE. This game, for convenient reference, DOES NOT YET EXIST.

But it will soon. What will you do?

===Dib: Sneak up on the unsuspecting alien.