We've Been Expecting You
By: Haha Zombies
Genre: Adventure/Humour/Friendship
Summary: James Sirius Potter finally arrives at Hogwarts, ready for a year filled with dragons, talking portraits, friends, lampshades, a traumatising table incident, Bring-a-Muggle-to-School-Day and much more. But no girls...they're gross!
Rating: T – Mild swearing, magical violence
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter franchise or anything else you may recognize. The story and extra characters are mine though.
Chapter 1: Hey, Merlin
James Sirius Potter was a happy boy, and nothing could change that fact, not even when his furious teacher screamed at him and his best friend, Matthew McGivney, to go to the principal's office. He and Matt ran out of the classroom clutching their sides, roaring with laughter at Ms. Richmond's newfound beard.
"That – was – priceless!" wheezed Matt as they trotted down the locker filled hallway.
James grinned and ran his hand through his flat black hair, making it messier than necessary. "Yeah, the beard really brought out the green of her eyes!"
"How didja do it?" Matt asked, though he didn't really expect a response. James had been doing tons of weird and crazy things to teachers and students that bothered him. Much like the time Rick Fitch had been bullying him, James and Loreno Stark, a typical bookworm, during lunch, Matt reflected. James had shouted "Attack, minions!" and had somehow, their sandwiches, milk cartons and Thermos had thrown themselves at Fitch and beat him. Or the time where their first grade teacher yelled at James for not washing his hands after an art project. James had glared at the sink and the tap came alive and shot a stream of dirty water at the teacher.
James tapped his chin pensively and stroked an invisible beard. "I'm Merlin," he said in a deep voice and widened his eyes, in an attempt to seem powerful. Matt laughed and punched James' shoulder. "You wish!"
They stopped in front of the glass doors that lead to the school's main office. Next to the doors was a plaque that read "Godric's Hollow Primary School – founded in 1950" Underneath was the school's motto "Expect to be respected".
The secretary, Mrs. Hooverfield, was a fish-eyed middle-aged lady with brown hair in a ponytail. She raised her head from the computer and laughed as James and Matt entered.
"Back again, Mr. Potter and Mr. McGivney? Fourth time this month, really, you guys have to control yourselves."
Matt flashed a brilliant smile. "We still have next year to cause more trouble, it'll be our last year here too!"
James smiled too and they entered another set of doors that led to the principal's office. Mrs. Hooverfield couldn't help but notice that James' smile was a bit forced. Maybe James was moving? She certainly hoped not, him and Matt were quite the pair, she mused as she continued entering data of next years kindergarteners.
xxxxxx
James sighed as he walked home with his little brother and sister, Albus and Lily. They were chatting with their muggle friends that lived nearby while he lagged behind them. Matt took the bus home with Rick Fitch and a load of other students. Still, James' mind wandered back to Matt's comment in the school office. We still have next year to cause more trouble…but that wasn't true at all, James thought sadly. He was going to go to Hogwarts, the same school his parents, Harry and Ginny Potter went to because, he really was a wizard. Matt did not know that, and James was sure he was not a muggle-born wizard, because throughout their years together, Matt had never shown any sign of magic.
Harry had insisted that the children attend muggle schools to learn math, English, science and such. It was always risky to send magical children to muggle school since they can not control their magic. James, on the other hand, had soem mild control over his accidental magic, so he constantly used it to stop people from bullying him and to prank unsuspecting teachers. Harry had given up on reprimanding his son on the consequences of showing muggles magic, after all, James never listened. He loved having power over some of the eighth graders in the school and wasn't about to stop using magic just to please his parents. In consequence of going to a muggle school, James ended up being best mates with a muggle, who he'd rarely see after grade five. Truth was, he was very excited about going to Hogwarts, and he barely gave Matt a second thought, until he realized that Matt wouldn't be with him any longer. He had put off telling Matt that he'll be gone next year since he was afraid that Matt will take it badly and get angry. It was nearly the end of the school year, and he can't keep on pretending that he'll be there next year. I'll tell him tomorrow, he decided firmly as he followed Lily and Albus into their home in Godric's Hollow.
xxxxxxx
It was a sweltering hot June, and the spirits were high. School was nearly over, or more precisely, it was the last week of school. The teacher's were either excited or sad about not seeing the students for a couple months, but most of all, the fifth grade teachers were confused at the sudden end of friendship between James and Matt. Something had happened during May that somehow managed to destroy their bond. Most teachers were both sad and relieved, seeing as now there were fewer pranks played on them, but it hurt them to see two good friends glare at each other all day.
"Hey," Loreno Stark smiled shyly at James. He cleared his throat, and then continued. "Er…it's my birthday on the last day of school, and I'm having a party. Here's the invitation." After handing James a folded piece of paper, he ran off to find some other people. James glanced down at the invitation, and then looked around to class, trying to see who else got invited. In fact, he was really confused at why Loreno even invited him. Perhaps it was the time in grade four with the sandwich incident that Loreno decided to be his friend, but they never really talked or hung out together. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Matt chatting with Loreno holding a similar piece of paper. I am not going let Matt stop me from going to this party, James repeated to himself as he tucked the invitation safely in his homework folder.
Matt had spent the past month cold shouldering James ever since he told him that he was leaving to go to a boarding school somewhere in Scotland. "It's a family tradition; I never said I wanted to go!" James had pleaded to him. "Look, I'm sorry mate, but I can't change it! My parents already registered and all that!" Matt had been furious. If James had been a good friend, he would've tried harder to not go to this stupid boarding school, but obviously, James preferred school over his best mate, Matt reasoned. He knew this was not true, but being angry was better then being hurt, and he was hurt.
xxxxxxx
"Brilliant match, Loreno!"
"Yeah, great game!"
"Did you see me? Third place, not bad, eh?"
"Can it, James!"
A group of fifth grade boys chattered non-stop on their way to Loreno's house after an intense game of laser tag. It was a Friday, which happened to be the last day of school, which also happened to be a certain boy's birthday. The talk of the laser tag game continued all the way through dinner until the time came to unwrap the presents.
Loreno grinned and looked at everyone from his spot on the couch, happy to be in the centre of attention. He was usually a quiet boy at school, very studious, but for some reason that no one could explain, he was good at sports. He looked like a pushover and was very small, but somehow managed to be really good at basketball and volleyball. One by one, he unwrapped his presents to the applause of his friends. There were books, toys, clothing, and for some reason, a Barbie doll, which was sent by James along with a real present, for laughs. Then, Loreno's mother came into the room with a smile on her face. She was a tall and imposing figure, wearing a business suit. She had just come home from work.
"Loreno, you got another present! I found this in the mailbox, look!" Curious, Loreno took the letter from his mother as the group of boys crowded around him for a better look. James took one look at the letter and gasped. Matt raised his eyebrows then looked away. On the letter, in green ink that most definitely did not come from a normal ballpoint pen, was the words
Loreno Stark
Black leather couch
32 Stanley Lane
Godric's Hollow
The boys burst out laughing. "How did you know where I was sitting?" Loreno asked the group at large, not sure who sent the letter. James twitched, but kept his mouth shut, unsure if he should talk or now. Matt continued staring at him suspiciously. No one else noticed, but they all insisted that they didn't send the letter. Shrugging, Loreno ripped open the letter and took out one of the pieces of paper in it, his eyes widening after each line until finally, he burst out laughing. His mother was standing behind him, and snatched the letter out of his hands, trembling. "Hey!" Loreno protested as he wheeled around to face his mum. But before he could do anything, the door bell rang. His mother strode out of the room and opened the door. There were a couple of parents there, ready to pick up their child.
"What's on the letter?" they asked as they were getting ready to leave. Loreno grinned and opened his mouth, ready to tell the story, but his mother cut in.
"It was a letter from his aunt." She said crisply and glared at Loreno. "She's was telling a joke, that's why it was funny."
Soon enough, when only James and Matt were left, Harry came to pick up his son. The resemblance between father and son was astounding, except for James' hazel eyes and flatter hair. James rushed over to his dad and tugged on his fathers coat insistently.
"He got the letter," James whispered. Harry blinked for a moment then nodded sombrely. He cleared his throat and looked at Mrs. Stark, Loreno's mom.
"I need to talk to you for a moment," he said seriously. Mrs. Stark was taken aback.
"Has my son done anything?" she blinked, confused.
"It's about the letter."
"Wait," Loreno interrupted, "James, you sent it?" James shook his head vigorously. Loreno was about to talk when his mother butt in again.
"What about the letter?" she said in a sharp tone. Harry gave a small smile. "It's real."
"No it isn't! It can't be! The letter said that I was going to Hogwarts! It said that it's a school for magic! For wizards! Like Merlin and stuff! That's impossible!" Loreno blurted out, happy to finally get rid of all the information from his system. Matt laughed and nodded and looked expectantly at James, knowing that he would make some comment about the ridiculousness of this event. But James continued to look serious.
"It's real…that's where I'm going next year," James muttered.
Matt stared at him for a moment then narrowed his eyes. Was this some elaborate prank? Was magic really the answer to everything that James did? It seemed impossible and way too far-fetched, but Matt couldn't suppress the mounting jealousy somewhere around his navel. Why was his best friend allowed to do magic? Why was some book nerd also allowed to do magic? Why not him? Wouldn't hanging around with a wizard for nearly six years rub off on him and make him magical too? WHY? Matt shook with anger at the whole unfairness of the situation.
Loreno, on the other hand, was delightful and confused. He wanted to believe it was real, but leave to James to concoct something like this. All the fantasy books he read flooded into his head. Would they be using wands? Or just snapping their fingers and stuff would appear? Do the incantations rhyme or not? He wasn't that good at poetry, so he hoped not. Does this mean that dragons and elves are real too? Will they be transported into another realm through a portal or something? Do they have Dragon Riders? It would be awesome if he could have a pet dragon, and they could talk and fight evil together.
Meanwhile...
Mrs. Stark stared stonily at Harry. "Mr. Potter," she began stiffly. "I already know about his…magic school, if you could call it. My…brother was a wizard too. Jimmy Peakes. And frankly, I think it's dangerous. He says that he sprouted leeks out of his ears once. Are you saying my son is one of …them?" Harry suddenly grinned.
"Jimmy? He was on my Quidditch team! Good beater, he was. But yes," he continued hastily. "You son is a wizard, and I'm sure he'll become a great one too." Mrs. Stark didn't even want to ask what Quidditch was. She was actually quite jealous of her brother, and now she was jealous of her son. She wanted to do magic, to be involved in magic, to live with magic, but that wasn't possible. As her brother had kindly put it, "You're just a muggle, bet you can't turn tables into pigs, eh?" She frowned at the memory.
"Oh, it's not that dangerous, I assure you," Harry said reassuringly. "The school will teach you how to defend yourself against these things, Mrs. Stark." She nodded mechanically, her mind still wandering on her brother. Perhaps it was time she gave him a call.
"Please, call me Samantha," she said. "You needn't bother explaining everything to me; I will get my brother to do that." Harry stifled a sigh of relief. He really didn't want to deal with someone Petunia; he had enough of her for a lifetime.
"Great, I should be taking my son home with me. Maybe we'll see each other at Diagon Alley?" Harry smiled politely. Samantha nodded and looked at her own son. He had a dreamy, ecstatic expression on his face, and she really didn't want to spoil this by being a jealous old lady.
Meanwhile...
James was conversing in a low voice with Matt. "Look, I'll buy you lots of cool magic stuff, okay? It'll be great for pranking. My uncle owns a joke shop and they sell these brilliant Skiving Snackboxes that get you out of class. You eat one end, and you vomit, then you eat the other, and you're fine. Great, isn't it?" Matt nodded with the smallest of smiles.
"I only wish I could come with you!" he blurted out. James nodded solemnly.
"Same here, mate, but no can do. We'll still see each other over winter break and the summer, right? Still friends?" he asked, adding the last part uncertainly.
"Yeah, I guess, but it'll be weird knowing that you could turn me into a rat with a wave of your wand or something," Matt muttered. James sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again.
"Really, there's so much I have to explain to you. I can't do human transfiguration until sixth year, it's really complicated. It's more than just wand waving. I can't wait to bring you round to my place. Now that you know about magic, you're allowed in my house."
Matt raised his eyebrows questioningly. James laughed at his confusion. "We've got moving pictures, self-washing pots, a house elf and a mirror that talks to you. Obviously we can't let muggles into our house!" Loreno snapped out of his daydream.
"You mean like Snow White?" he said eagerly. James scoffed. "Snow White was a fool. You never insult a witch and get away with it." Matt and Loreno blanched.
"She was real?" they yelled in unison. James rolled his eyes. "Yeah, the witch used a Polyjuice Potion to turn herself into someone else. And it's quite easy to poison an apple. But not all witches are evil," he added, looking at the horrified faces of his friends. "That's just a common prejudice. And witches don't have green faces and warts."
Harry coughed and clapped his hand on his son's shoulder. "Where did you learn about Polyjuice Potion?" he asked suspiciously, not ever recalling telling his son about his second year. James turned around and grinned.
"Uncle Ron told me. He tells me everything; I think he really enjoys boasting about all the things you guys did when you were young." Harry shrugged.
"Right, well, we have to go now. See you at Diagon Alley, Loreno. And Matt," Harry paused, unsure what to say to him, after all, he was only a muggle and couldn't join them at Diagon Alley. James finished Harry's sentence for him.
"We'll buy out Diagon Alley for you," James promised, then adding with a solemn face, "Use the pranks well. Be sure to get Ms. Richmond, that old hag." Matt grinned in spite of himself and swept into a mock bow.
"Yes, Merlin."
A/N: Err, was it okay? I like harsh and nice reviews :D