AN: this is for a friend who wanted a Self insert, smut and tragedy, I've never read or watched D-gray man, don't know the characters and don't own it either, I can't write smut to save my life and tragedy is kind of so so.
don't hate me to much, just read and enjoy... I hope.
Edit x3: why does Fanfiction not register my Damn Line Breaks?!
*screeches*
a hard sigh escaped her as she flopped down onto the couch and let her head fall back, hair the color of pitch tumbled over beige cloth as emerald eyes stared up at the pock marked ceiling.
she had hoped, nay. Prayed that not all men were like him, but it seemed that it was not to be.
perhaps she was biased, but she just couldn't bring herself to care anymore and instead reached forward without looking and filled her coffee mug to the brim with her favorite red wine.
honestly, the men of the order drove her to drink, how pitiful.
still a small part of her hummed in appreciation at the soft sweet wine that held fruity tones, it was a younger wine and didn't have that distinct oak taste many of the older ones did and that she disliked, it was also very easy to get drunk off of if one wasn't careful.
she didn't want to be careful right now, right now she wanted to get tipsy and maybe get herself off, perhaps then she would be able to relax and forget all of the stupidity that had plagued her throughout the entire day.
Honestly, the man that was in charge of her division was narcissism walking, self absorbed and uncaring of anyone Else's opinion then his.
pushing the thought away she glanced down and twirled the dark liquid in her cup, catching her reflection staring back at her she pouted.
if only she could go back two years and tell herself not to get involved, that it would only bring bad things… ah but she was always a nosy person, she would have ignored herself for want of her curiosity.
"Drinking a bit early Luce?" the deep voice made her stiffen before she relaxed, He was at least tolerable for all that he was a hopeless flirt. "hello Pot, my names Kettle" her lips quirked at his sharp bark of amusement before he closed her apartment door behind him, he had learned long ago she preferred her living quarters down right Freezing and hated all her precious cold escaping out of an open door.
the red head folded himself into her rather comfortable couch and raised an eyebrow at her holiday themed coffee mug with cartoony angels flying a crossed a green background. "Really?" he asked and she raised her glass in a wordless toast before downing what was in her mug and reaching for the bottle on her coffee table, filling the mug to almost the top again she handed it to him as he eyed her before sipping from the bottle in the most refined way possible.
at his wrinkled nose she laughed. "its Sweet" he mumbled and she hummed and took a slow pull of the deep red liquid. "sorry if its not up to your high standard General, us of the lower rank can't spend hundred of dollars on a single bottle, besides, this is my favorite" it was from Australia granted, but she found the flavor pleasant on the tongue and the way it warmed her chest and stomach made it easy to relax.
sometimes in the privacy of her room she could image the heat was from something other then her own hands.
"rough day?" he asked and she snorted, he had seen her on her worse days and this was downright mild, still though there must of been something showing on her face for him to pick up on her mood. "oh you know, same old same old" the words were spoken bitterly and his head tilted as he watched her, mug in hand and green eyes staring into nothing. "I could have a Word with him, if you'd like?" ah, and this was why he was the most tolerable of the men she knew, he actually Cared about her, albeit in the way he seemed to care about everything with breasts and a vagina.
"no need General, though its kind of you to offer I'll… figure something out" like where to hide the body, Honestly, if that man Mentioned One More Time About-
"Hopefully something that doesn't coincide with that dark look on your face" he asked and took another drink from the bottle and she glanced at him with a raised brow. "I thought it was to sweet?" she was completely ignoring what he said and from his look she knew he knew it.
"Luce" his voice was just touching on stern and she sighed and took a pull from her mug and felt the warmth spread from her throat to her chest and stomach before reaching further.
probably a placebo effect, every time she drank this she ended up using other means to relax afterwards and her body was just so used to it by now.
"yes yes General, no taking off my commanding officers head, no matter how much I would like to" she mumbled the last part into her mug and he was nice enough to ignore it.
like many times she took the time to admire him, he was perhaps in his forties but not a gray hair could be seen in his red hair or the small goatee that sat on his chin, she had seen him shirtless and he was all muscle and she wasn't ashamed to admit he had played an ever increased role in her fantasies, he was after all the only man she could tolerate for extended periods.
a thought came but she shied away from it and glanced back at her drink, brazen she might be in her own mind but when it came to expressing herself she.. lacked confidence, in fact the only touch she had ever known was her own and even that was.. lacking and she was beginning to think she would never experience what it was like to be with someone, she was only eighteen sure, but she had noticed with the exception of Allen and Kanda the man stayed away from her, and as for Allen and Kanda themselves.. Allen was like a little brother, and Kanda was a good friend, but she couldn't switch her mind into wanting him that way.
with a long sigh she finished her drink off and set the mug down, stopping herself before the warmth became a fuzzy head and she said something she might or might not regret. "I'll be leaving soon" he finally said and she hummed, it wasn't surprising, he was rarely if ever at the Order and when he was it was usually because he was forced to be, if ever there was a free spirit it was the General. "how long? or is it one of those flying by the seat of your pants things?" she watched a smirk tug at the corner of his lip. "a year, maybe more," a year, that Was a long time though not the longest he had ever been gone. "well I wish you all the luck there is, may the odds be ever in your favor" she smiled, melancholy at her own words and how they were from a world away.
but those were memories from a lifetime ago and would remain so.
"one of these days I'm going to ask where you got that weird catchphrase" he mumbled and relaxed back against her coach and she found her eyes taking him in again, she always liked men with long hair and he wore it well, he was also tall with the top of her head barely reaching his collarbone.
really if he was interested in her that would be all the marks on her list checked.
oh yes, and also if he only had eyes for me, which isn't going to happen
it was a depressing though, knowing the only man she had ever felt true non family affection for would never feel anything for her along those lines, when she had gotten a crush on him she had shrugged and gone about her day, when she began to care about him she figured it was a care for a friend.
when she felt her heart skip beats, when her mind was obsessed with him as it was and she felt anxiety fill her when he was in danger she knew she was doomed.
she had fallen in love with a womanizer who was some twenty years her senior, never mind that Innocence made people age slower, that he didn't look a day over thirty.
the fact remained that it was stupid.
a hand against her cheek snapped her out of her thoughts and she glanced up at him with a raised brow. "penny for your thoughts? they're unusually deep for your down time" she felt that impulse again, it would be as easy as inviting him to stay for the night, he was an intelligent man and would understand what she meant and could either politely refuse or agree.
but who was she kidding? if he said yes she wouldn't even know what to do with him, her mind had cooked up plenty of fantasies Yes, she had enough smutty books shoved underneath her bed in a chest to break someones back but she knew they were just that, Stories.
what happened in them and real life were two different things entirely.
"just thinking General, nothing for you to worry about" and just like that she resigned herself to another lonely night with just herself for company, of many Many more nights of the same and the thought brought a bitter smile unwillingly to her lips.
a hand was on her head and she was suddenly looking into the General's scrutinizing eyes and was thankful for her resting bitch face as he was close enough for their breath to mingle. "what have I told you about making that face? it doesn't suit your features Luce" she slowly pulled her head back and stared at him for a long moment and felt indecision riot inside of her.
with a soft sigh she gave into the thoughts and shut her eyes, the only thing that could happen was outright rejection right? and if she didn't, she'd only regret later, like always.
opening her eyes she raised a hand and placed it on his cheek before leaning forward, shutting her eyes she pressed her lips against his and felt something tighten in her chest, it was.. not overtly mind blowing but her lips tingled were they pressed against his motionless ones and rejection hit her hard, harder then she thought it would actually.
it was when she began to pull back that she felt a hand curl around her throat and fingers tangle in the short hairs at the nape of her neck before he was leaning over her and then his lips were Moving and if before it was tingles now it was electricity. hysterically she wondered if she was dreaming and this was just another when of her fantasies that her lonely mind came up with but everything was solid, from the couch underneath her to the firm shoulders she found her hands had gravitated to.
when he pulled back her eyes opened to find him watching her closely.
"How long?" the question could have meant a lot of things, but she knew what he meant, could see it in his suddenly understanding eyes as a finger lazily caressed her jaw. "since I was fifteen, somewhere around when you spilled coffee on my paperwork" her lips quirked at that memory, she had been flaming mad and he had just been.. Him, trying to flatter her while she snarled at him before realizing he was higher rank then her and then not caring.
there was surprise in his eyes and she wondered at the ease with which their relationship had just.. shifted. but then again it was probably not as serious to him as it was to her.
that was fine, she could just pretend, just for now she could pretend he was hers.
"that's a rather long time" he breathed and she hummed and watched his eyelids lower when her fingers tangled into his hair and her thumbs brushed his throat. "I'm stubborn" he only huffed at that before his lips slanted over her own and her eyes fluttered closed, when she felt his tongue on her lip she opened willingly and let out a soft yet shaky sigh when she felt the wet muscle enter her mouth, the sensation was.. strange, but it wasn't unpleasant and she found herself meeting his passion with her own, his hands felt scorching as they ran down her back and she couldn't help the soft moan when he pressed his hands against her lower back and both hands easily spanned her waist, he was such a large man and with how he deepened the kiss and pressed her against him she wondered if he liked the fact as much as she did.
not finding it in herself to be idle she ran appreciative hands down his shoulders and arms before one wiggled beneath his shirt and felt hard muscle that sent her blood racing, nails danced along abdominal muscles and a soft low sound escaped him and she felt an almost painful heat between her legs, she hadn't gotten this aroused so quickly and it had never felt this intense, it was as if her very blood was on fire and she wondered deliriously when he had laid her down on the couch or when her hands had pulled his jacket off.
all she knew, all she Felt was him as he caged her in, his red hair was a curtain around them as he kissed her and she found her fingers curling, kneaded his back like a cat as her back arched and a soft gasp escaped her when one of his large hands cupped a supple breast and his thumb ran a crossed a hard nipple, when his hand had infiltrated beneath her shirt she hadn't a clue but was Very glad for the invasion, his touch was fire and she had never felt happier about the burn a crossed her skin.
hips tilting she shivered when her shirt was suddenly pulled from her and she was bare to him, she never wore a bra when she was at her apartment this late and all that was on her hips were shorts that barely reached her mid thigh.
his eyes were dark as he looked down at her and she shuddered when he ran a hand from her throat to her collarbone and finally trailed it lightly down the valley between her breasts and the harsh scar that was like a brand beneath her left one, it had followed her from her world and had ended her stay there, she wondered what he thought about it before her mind was pulled away from it when he leaned down and pressed a slow heated kiss to the scar before trailing those kisses to the underside of her breast, she bit her lip but couldn't stop the moan as his lips finally closed over her nipple and gave a slow long suck that had her head falling back and her eyes shutting tight, the feeling went straight to her core and her walls clenched down on nothing, an almost sharp pain coming from the empty feeling and she let out a shaky breath as he continued to lavish attention to her breasts. hips unconsciously arching and rolling she tangled her hands into his hair and dragged her nails along his scalp and received a low groan from the man before she became aware of a hand on her stomach before it slipped underneath the waistband of her shorts and underwear and.. and-
mind blank she was distinctly aware of a loud sound escaping her throat as callused fingers rubbed slowly over her slick core and found her clit easily, the almost burning heat surged up her veins and her hips bucked into his touch desperately as her head fell back and her mouth opened in a soundless cry, the feeling was almost to much and bordered on pain but she couldn't get enough, needed more, lower and inside her.
he seemed to understand that and when a lone long finger stroked her entrance before slowly pushing in she could only whimper, he seemed to be able to reach deeper then she ever could and it was so much more intense then her own touch and she knew she was ruined forever.
she found herself fine with that.
she became distinctly aware of the fact she was moaning louder now and her eyes fluttered when he smoothly pressed a second finger to join the first, hips moving harsher now she arched her back and shut her eyes tightly, she felt as if she was about to combust, her skin was to hot and she couldn't seem to gain enough air but she didn't Care, and when his mouth took hers in a deep lustful kiss she clung to him and rolled her hips into his pistoning digits and she was so close, could feel her end surging up to meet her and her thighs trembled but his hand was pulling away, biting back a sound of disappointment she could only stare as he worked the rest of her clothes off and wondered when he had removed his shirt, his broad chest was exposed and before her eyes he kicked off his shoes and pushed his pants off, his thick length was hard and when he joined her on the couch again she found herself oddly unafraid as his hands grasped her knee's and pulled them farther apart, she splayed them willingly and reached up to grasp the armrest of the couch before almost biting her tongue when something scorching pressed against her soaked folds and she shut her eyes tight when he pressed into her, her body took him willingly and he thrust firmly into her.
the faint tinge of pain barely registered to her lust fogged mind and when narrow hips pressed flush against her rounder ones she released a harsh breath and shivered as he withdrew before he sunk back into her, easily settling into a steady pace she trembled beneath him as the slow drag of him inside her made the blood in her veins roar.
hips tilting she began to try and match his pace and received a groan from the older man before his rough hand trailed up from her knee and grasped her hip before he pulled her towards him at the same time he snapped his hips forwar-
"A-..Ahhh!" eyes wide her head fell back and her back arched, fingers convulsing in the couch cushion as molten heat flooded her body and made her light headed and it only increased when he did it Again.
flesh met flesh and a audible slap echoed in her apartment that was quickly chased by a second and third, the sound increasing in pace and volume as he began thrusting harder and unable to help it a load moan escaped her and she was lost in the sensation, his hands were firm and almost harsh as he grasped her thigh and waist, his fingers scorching trails along her sides and breasts and one hand cupped her neck while the other held her knee and pushed her legs farther apart, his elbow digging into the couch beside her head and his hair was a tangled mess around them as he groaned long and low before his lips sought out her own and she shuddered, hips tilting even further before it felt like she was electrocuted when he brushed against something that made her world tilt. desperate for air she pulled away from his lips to cry out at the feeling and she felt teeth dig into her collarbone, his hands were hard on her hip as he held her in place, drew back and then dropped his hips into hers hard.
mouth dropping open she was distantly aware he was watching her with a hungry look as he began pounding into her, digging deep and pressing hard into that spot that made her blood boil and she didn't even care at the sounds that were escaping her throat, the constant cries in time to his deep hard thrusts, could only feel that pressure building quickly in her and without even consciously thinking of it her legs came up and wrapped tightly around his waist, nails digging into his back and could hear his deep voice rumble out a groan that sounded like her name.
and then she was shattering, eyes squeezing shut as her orgasm tore through her so viciously that tears trailed from them and then heat was filling her, the man above her was rocking into her and she opened her eyes in time to see his squeeze shut and his jaw clenched, teeth bared in a look bordering on pain as his back bowed.
and then he was slumping down onto her and while his weight was a bit uncomfortable she couldn't truly bring herself to care.
so this was what bliss felt like, why people crave this sensation constantly
it wasn't like her own touch at all which was fleeting and shallow, this was a bone deep satisfaction that made her lazy and the thought of a nap was appealing.
hearing and feeling a chuckle from the man that still had her pinned she opened heavy lids and saw he was looking at her with a raised brow and a smug smirk tugging his lips up. "are you Purring Luce?" she blinked slowly and realized that yes, it did seem she was releasing a soft humming noise deep in her chest without much thought but was to content to hide the fact, fingers smoothed through his red hair where she had yet to remove them from his back. "I suppose I am" she sighed and she knew he would be smug, looked it even now.
she found the look both faintly irritating and yet endearing, god but she had it bad for this man.
"I've never had a woman Purr for me before" he mused and she closed her eyes, she was so tired and his words reminded her that he was not hers, would in fact probably have another woman within a fortnight.
she tried to tell herself that it didn't hurt.
she had never been a very good liar.
"when do you leave?" her question was soft as he rested his head on her breasts and he was so Warm and for a moment she clung to her little fantasy, that he was hers and she was his and this would happen from this day into forever.
"Tomorrow around eight" his lips brushed the sensitive skin on the top of her bosom and she relished in the feeling.
enjoy it while it lasts, you're but a passing fancy for him, the flavor of the week.
he'll add a notch to his bedpost and move on, you should as well.
but it was so Hard, once she loved…
once her heart was given to someone it was near impossible to get it back, at least intact.
and she cared about him, worried about him when he was gone, despite everything he was an easy man to love and that's why he was so popular with the ladies, but They at least knew better.
she was so naive, she should have never given into temptation.
but she couldn't bring herself to Regret.
warm masculine hands trailed up her sides and she shivered, gazing into his eyes she felt an answering thrum in her body as he pushed himself up. "plenty of time Luce, shall we retire to the bedroom?"
yes, he was an easy man to love and she decided to feel regret tomorrow, tonight she would welcome this, tonight she would pretend.
she took his hand and let him take her to her bedroom.
when she woke up she already knew he was gone, the side of the bed where he had lain was cold to the touch and she felt something in her heart crack when she entered her living area and found his jacket gone, a note on her fridge told her goodbye and her mug she had used was cleaned and set in the drying rack.
unexpectedly she felt heat trail down her cheeks and she shut her eyes, furious at herself and her foolish girl heart for loving him, for still loving him.
leaning against the fridge she slid down and gave in to the tears, the sooner she cried the sooner she could get over him.
she was a horrible liar, truly.
"Luce, are you… are you alright?" Lenalee was one of the sweetest people she knew but also very sheltered because of her brother, she was only glad this world she had been reborn in was slightly different then the one she had watched as an anime.
there was no millennium earl or Noah's, there were Akuma yes, like present day demons and they were the demon slayers, like from inuyasha.
it wasn't a huge weight off her shoulders, people still died but… but this world could be Worse, could hurt these children more then what they suffered now.
small mercies she supposed.
"I'm fine Lee" she gave the girl a smile and fingered her mug of mint tea, the girl made a face at the nickname and Luce hid her expression lest it worry the girl.
she had began to call the girl by the nickname for selfish reasons before it became an endearment, Lee had been her middle name in the Before and she had used it to remind herself, now she used it to see the pout that never failed to form on the girls face.
"are you sure? you looked pale earlier, and you only drink mint tea when you're feeling unwell" Luce raised a brow and glanced at her mug.
it was true, earlier she had felt oddly tired and her stomach was giving her problems lately. "its probably just a small flu Lee, I've been feeling out of it lately is all" she took a slow pull of the sweetened tea and let out a slow relaxed sigh.
and then Kanda came by carrying his usual plate of Soba and for some odd reason as soon as she inhaled the aroma she felt her stomach heave, eyes widening she pushed herself to her feet and stumbled to the nearest waste basket and Heaved, her breakfast came up along with tea and bile and tears stung her eyes as she coughed and shuddered, a small warm hand was rubbing her back as she clutched the wall beside the trash can desperately but it passed and she was left feeling weak and her head swam, Lenalee was nice enough to offer her a napkin and she wiped her mouth and swayed on her feet while the young girl steadied her. "I'm taking you to the doctor Luce, this.. this isn't some simple flu" the girls worried words made her nod weakly and she startled when she realized Kanda was beside her as well, his blue eyes scrutinized her, from her shivering form to her unstable legs.
and then he unceremoniously scooped her up and she bulked, eyes widening as Lenalee led the way from the mess hall and the curious eyes that followed them.
while she would have liked to say she was perfectly fine and could walk she honestly felt relieved, her head was light and she was so very tired and she wondered what kind of illness she had caught, usually she was pretty sturdy and hardly ever got ill.
eyelids drooping she closed her eyes for a moment.
"-ce.. Luce" her hand was held and someone patted it drawing her attention, eyes opening she squinted at the harsh white light above her before turning her gaze and meeting the eyes of Sakumo. the man gave a soft smile and helped her sit up in the small hospital room. "you gave us a slight scare there Luce, Young Kanda and Lenalee were quite panicked when they brought you in, said you vomited and passed out when they were bringing you here?" she raised a hand to her forehead, she had passed out? but it explained why she didn't remember the journey here from the mess hall. "I guess, I've been feeling off lately" he hummed and moved to grab a clipboard off the side table. "Symptoms?" he clicked out a pen and she thought for a moment. "queasiness, though usually only during early mornings, it goes away after a bit, migraines, I feel weak sometimes, vomiting. this is the first I've passed out though" he was writing down a few times before staring at the clipboard before clicking the pen and setting both on the table before moving forward. "alright, I'm going to ask you a few personal questions alright?" she nodded as he pressed his fingers to her throat and felt along it. "have you felt any tenderness in your breasts?" the question caught her off guard and she flushed before nodding softly and he hummed before his eyebrow quirked. "when was your last period if you don't mind telling me" he asked and she was suddenly very glad he was gay, telling this to a straight man might have mortified her for life.
though, thinking back on it, her last period was..
"close to four months ago, though I've been known to miss a few months because I stress a lot" though the longest she had ever gone was two, four was pushing it by a bit.
he nodded having already known that about her. "alright, are you sexually active? if so when did you sleep with anyone last" her face Flamed because she had only ever slept with one person.
"once…. four-" she stopped herself as she stared at Sakumo's chest with wide green eyes.
she hadn't had her period in four months, four months ago she had given into her wants and slept with the General.
she was weak, got headaches and vomited in the Mornings.
it wasn't a virus, it was-
"I see you've come to the same conclusion I have but I'd like to run some tests to be sure" he stepped back and she numbly went through the motions and not even an hour later it was confirmed. "Are you alright?" he asked in concern and she gave a small nod, she was Pregnant, inside her body right now a new life was growing and she pressed a hand against her stomach. "W-.. why aren't I showing?" she asked and he was writing a few things down. "all woman are different Luce though you'll probably begin to show soon, I'm prescribing you some vitamins to take, you'll need to take one a day before your first meal and I'd recommend to begin eating a more balanced diet, plenty of greens and all that, of course no smoking or drinking" she was suddenly glad she hadn't felt up to one of her shut in nights.
"I'd like to see you once every other week for check ups to monitor your progress, you're perfectly healthy though so it shouldn't be to much of a problem for you" he pulled the paper off the note pad and handed it to her. "turn this into the pharmacy and try to relax more, stressing isn't good for your body anyway and that goes double for you now as it isn't just You who will be stressed" she nodded and after a few more words she stumbled from the room and watched as Lenalee stood and Kanda glanced up from where they were waiting, Allen seemed to have joined them and she felt tears burn her eyes before she pushed them back, they had actually waited on her?.
and she Really didn't like the way her emotions were flip flopping all over the place.
"Luce! are you alright? we were so worried when you fell asleep, what did Sakumo say?" she asked and Kanda pushed himself up. "Ah, well" she held the prescription tightly and felt a flush warm her cheeks. "turns out I'm pregnant is all"
the silence was Deafening.
"Pregnant?" Kanda's voice was so dry it would put a desert to shame and poor Allen looked like a ghost.
"ah, Yup, four months, give or take a week" she rubbed a hand on her neck before Allen regained himself and shook himself like a dog. "What? how? Wait! don't tell me just.. uh, congratulations Luce, you'll make a great mom" his face was red and she felt a smile tug at her lips, he was always so sweet and, Damnit there were the tears again.
"that's great Luce! I was worried it was something bad, uhm.. who's the father?" Lenalee's question might as well have turned the older girl to stone as she halted all movement.
no way in Hell she was going to tell them it was the General's, Allen would die from the shock and she could only guess what other things that would happen, like rumors.
"not gonna tell?… wait, its not Lavi's is it?" Kanda's nose scrunched and her eyes widened before she Laughed. "No! geez, it doesn't matter guys just forget that" she tried to smile but at all three of their looks she began to sweat, why did she hate lying?.
"I'm Not Telling!" she held her arms in an X shape and shook her head firmly.
"was he a jerk, did he Leave you Luce? is that why? oh no, he broke your heart didn't he?" Lenalee suddenly swept her into her arms and Luce was having trouble because the girl had struck close to home.
while he wasn't a jerk he did leave her, as for breaking her heart.
Kanda and Allen's face's blanched as tears welled in her eyes and she blinked them back rapidly. "It's fine its fine! nothing like that!" her words went unheard as Allen and Kanda stood there with a dark aura, Allen's left arm twitching while Kanda's hand rested on Mugan.
"we'll kill him" their voices synced and her eyes widened. "Guys!"
being pregnant was Weird, really Really weird.
it spread through the order like wildfire, Luce was Pregnant and no one knew the identity of the father, there were stories and theories running around, she could understand their disbelief because around people she didn't know she was downright frosty.
at eight months it was very apparent she was pregnant and while it was weird having another life growing inside of her she was also.. happy.
and downright terrified, what if the General found out? who was she kidding, it was only a matter of Time before he found out, would he be upset? would he take her child Away?.
unlikely, more likely he would just ignore they had ever slept together, that man had an allergy to responsibility, one only had to see him practically break out into hives during meetings to understand that.
currently she was eating with Kanda and Allen, Lenalee had been sent on a mission with Lavi and she was thrown to the two mother hens, though god help anyone who uttered that around Kanda though, Allen didn't really seem to mind.
silently she could understand why people shipped them.
but apparently, the people in the Order were busy trying to figure out who to ship Her with and the people they spoke of…
"so" she said boredly and moved the lettuce of her salad around. "apparently I've slept with Komui and both of you" both boys suddenly spluttered and she grinned wickedly at Allen as he coughed, having choked on his current mouthful of eggs and was beating his chest with a fist while Kanda held a napkin to his mouth and the broth that was dribbling down his chin. "E-Excuse me?" Kanda rasped and she nodded before propping an elbow on the table and resting her head on her hand. "Yup" she popped the 'P' and Allen took a deep drink of his water before heaving out a big breath. "why?" he finally stuttered and she shrugged. "you're the only men I really tolerate, though Komui is barely tolerable if you ask me. naturally people are nosy and spread rumors, the rest is history. I though I should at least warn you" Allen flushed while Kanda frowned but nodded. "But by that logic you would have 'Slept' with Lavi and the General, you tolerate them fairly well" she barely hid her flinch when he spoke about General Cross and instead hummed. "they'll do anything for gossip, something to occupy their time" she waved a hand and popped a cherry tomato into her mouth and chewed slowly.
the General….
she really wished her feeling for that man would cool down already.
she awoke in the middle of the night to wet sheets and pain rippling through her stomach as alarms resounded through the base. green eyes wide she pushed herself up and gasped as something sharp stabbed a crossed her abdomen and she staggered, hand going out to clutch at the wall while she reached out to pull on her black cotton bathrobe over her nightgown and staggered from her room into mayhem, apparently some Akuma had invaded the area around the base and were launching an attack, naturally the people inside were reduced to headless chicken status.
moving slowly she knew she had to get to the infirmary but due to the panic around her and her pain she got turned around, before long she was in a hallway alone and panting because the contractions were getting closer together and she felt pressure building.
and then the wall collapsed and an akuma stood before her, grotesque as rolling eyes wildly looked around and focused on her wide emeralds.
fear clutched at her and as it suddenly flung itself at her her arms wrapped around her stomach.
in this world, this alternate of a world she thought she knew, people were either born with innocence or they were not, those that were awakened theirs young and usually became exorcists, depending on what form their innocence took they were either support or combat.
she, who was utterly normal and boring was reborn utterly normal and boring and felt peace with that, she still joined the Order because it was a steady and fair paycheck and what safer place was there?.
as the creature bore down on her though she felt something bulk and snarl and then sheering white light exploded, her only thought was to protect her child and her will shrieked, spiraling into an audible roar as a snarling cat shot forward and brutal jaws tore into the Akuma's throat, sharp claws tearing into the wailing creature before it shattered and the big cat landed on all fours and Prowled, a deep rumble in its chest as it paced around her in a tight circle and she felt… Drained.
the cat before her was built like a large tiger but its fur was white, eyes glowing toxic green and trailing fire of the same hue as its mouth hung open and sharp teeth gleamed in the light as it finally settled at her side, its head easily reaching her shoulder as a feeling in her chest seemed to throb and hum in time with the creatures fire eyes.
and then she became aware again of the pain, adrenaline fading to be replaced with the agony of labor and she hissed and reached out, startled when the big cat was solid enough for her to lean against and she was grateful for it then as another ripple of pain shot up from her abdomen and with a low moan she sunk to her knees, head bent with one hand gripping the white fur of the cat and the other on her lower stomach as she swayed, green eyes blank as she stared ahead and subconsciously she began to rock and her breathing synced with her slow movements.
"Luce!" the loud yell startled her out of her trance like state and her head turned in time with the cats as Lenalee stopped suddenly and her eyes went passed her and up into startled brown as the General slowed to a stop behind her.
at another surge of pain she hissed and her fingers clutched at the cat and it echoed the noise, a low growl escaping its throat as claws flexed and scored furrows into the marbled floor before her strength waned and the cat caught flame and disappeared in a swirl of light and fire leaving her slumped against the wall, weak and in pain.
Lenalee rushed to her side and she shut her eyes when the girl drew her into her arms. "Luce, Are you okay?" she managed a faint nod. "are we still under attack?" she mumbled and Lenalee's grim face said it all before the girl looked up at the frozen General. "General cross, can you get her somewhere safe?, she can't move on her own" finally the man moved forward. "Of course, go alert my idiot student and Kanda that she's safe" warm arms wrapped around her and she was lifted into his arms as easily as if she weighted nothing at all, Lenalee was kind enough to wrap her bathrobe tighter around her. "it'll be alright Luce" and then the girl was running back the way they had come and she was alone with the General who began moving quickly down the corridor.
honestly if she wasn't in so much pain the silence would be awkward, as it was when the next surge of pain came she bit her lip hard and tears sprung to her eyes while her hand scrabbled against his chest to grip his jacket, body tensing as the strongest contraction yet caught her up and she was left gasping desperately for air when it passed, forehead soaked in sweat.
when her senses returned to her she heard a deep voice Shh'sing her and opened her eyes to see the man with her looking down at her, his eyes pinched and that stupid mask half of his face.
"Luce…" he looked like he wanted to say more but they had no time, the chaos that was around them chose that moment to wear its head and several more Akuma rounded the corner down the hall and she felt the General tense before he moved and set her down while raising his gun.
it seemed to last forever as he took care of the Akuma because she could feel it suddenly, that urge to Push and her mouth dropped as she swayed on her knee's, when the last Akuma faded pain was already digging its fingers into her stomach and she Screamed, it felt like she was being torn apart but her body kept demanding she push and she had no choice but comply. when she came back to herself the general was next to her with an arm wrapped around her back to hold her up while the other hand was combing her sweaty hair back and she gasped for air. "we can't stay here" he was mostly speaking to himself and there was an urgency in his voice, he seemed to see something and scooped her up before he was pushing open a door and laying her on the ground, they were apparently in a small side office and she watched him as he closed and locked the door before returning to her side.
she didn't know how long she had until the next contraction and knew she couldn't give birth dressed and helplessly pawed at her own clothing, getting the hint he helped her pull off her bathrobe and gown along with her underwear until she was completely bare, she would have felt embarrassed at it if it wasn't for the pain she swiftly felt building and her breathing hitched as another stronger contraction snared her, teeth gritting she gripped his jacket tightly and bore down, no longer fighting and instead pushing as hard as she could.
after that contraction it seemed she barely got a moment to breath before the next came and then it was constant pain and her body straining to push her child into the world, she barely registered Cross speaking to her but felt his hands running a crossed her back and holding her as she tried to catch her breath between contractions and she knew her face was wet with tears, when the latest contraction faded she slumped weakly against him with her breath hitching in soft sobs, it hurt, it hurt so Bad and she was so tired, her body felt drained in a way that was frightening. "you're almost there Luce, just a little more and you can rest" a warm hand threaded through her drenched hair and her eyes closed as another vicious surge of pain clawed its way up from her abdomen and lower back before something instinctive made one of her hands shoot down and then a squalling wiggling baby was in her hands, slick with blood and fluid as it wailed loudly and she would have fallen had the general not helped her lay down, weakly clutching the infant to her chest she shook with the aftershocks of pain and probably no small amount of shock as the man used his jacket to cover both her and her-their baby, he sat beside her with his gun in his hand and between her and the door as the sirens finally silenced and the only noise was her ragged breaths.
of course, only After she had given birth does the Akuma decide to stop attacking.
eyelids heavy she hadn't realized she had closed them until a gentle hand brushed her cheek before trailing down and touching the newborns head, the soft red wisps of hair seemed to fascinate him and she trailed tired eyes up to watch him as he stared at them.
"I tried to contact you" her voice was raspy and weak to her own ears and she smiled faintly. "but you don't like to be in contact with headquarters" his brown eyes met hers before going back to their child. "I-… I never meant for…" he fell silent and she raised a hand and took his. "I don't regret it Cross, and I don't regret that we have a-" she paused before lifting his jacket. "daughter," huh, she had a daughter, a beautiful little girl.
smile curling her lips she held the sleeping child to her chest and so wanted to fall asleep but was almost frightened to, she still felt pain in her lower regions and wondered if it was normal or not.
the weakness, the want to fall asleep, the trouble in drawing her next breath….
"Cross.." her words trailed off but his eyes moved to her own. "I love you, its stupid and childish but I think I've loved you for a very long time" his visible eye widened and she felt her lips quirk and trailed light fingers over her sleeping daughters back and tried to savor this moment, with her small family.
a knock on the door drew his attention and his gun was up and pointed at the door as he stood, she watched him with her vision blurring and rather then fear she felt calm, he knew she loved him, she only wished she would be able to remain with him.
perhaps… perhaps this time she would not reincarnate, and instead would be able to watch over the people here instead.
her eyes closed.
he opened the door and was relieved to see Komui and lowered the gun. "have the Akuma been eliminated?" he asked and the man nodded and Cross felt tension leech from his frame, he still felt tense but it wasn't as bad as it was before, at least he knew Luce wasn't being threatened.
as if his thoughts were a sign a soft wail sounded from behind him and he turned only for something like ice felt like it filled his stomach, moving quickly to the young woman he knelt and pressed his hand against her cheek. "Luce?" heart thumping he shook the young woman as Komui knelt on her other side and pressed his hand to her neck before the man's face turned grim.
No.
"Komui-" he shook his head and only now Cross could smell how thick the smell of blood had gotten and his chest ached. "it must have been the stress of the attack and a difficult birth, Doctor Sakumo had expressed worries…" he trailed off and Cross looked down at the pale woman, could still remember how she had shuddered and cried as she strained to give birth.
even now the child was whimpering against her mothers chest, as if sensing the lose and he didn't know what to feel at the moment.
"Brother, did you find-" they both looked towards the door to see Kanda and Lenalee at the doorway, the girl had fallen silent at the somber atmosphere and Kanda looked like his spine was made from steel.
Komui stood and hurried towards her, wrapping her in his arms and pressing her face into his chest and Cross turned his eyes back to the young woman and the child she still held. the child she had bore him.
in this world, this alternate of a world, people were either born with innocence or they were not, those that were awakened theirs young and usually became exorcists, depending on what form their innocence took they were either support or combat.
she, who had died in fear and pain was reborn into this world, she lived and she made friends that were like family, she loved and bore a child.
she died because her body could not take the strain of childbirth and a late awakening of her innocence.
years passed, the small child born to Luce Fleur and General Cross Marian grew healthy and strong, raised by her father and her mothers friends she grew with the knowledge that her mother had loved her with the fierceness that burned bright as flame.
on her tenth year in the world she was playing when Akuma attacked, General cross was a crossed the street talking with a friend when people screamed and he looked over.
the next moment was fear and panic as the akuma lunged at the petrified and still girl but before it could touch her or the General could even fire a savage roar shook the ground and a white form surged from around the girl and gleaming teeth dug into the akuma's throat with a viciousness that made the people around it draw back, huge claws held the creature as the big cat bore it to the ground and tore the Akuma's throat from its body, even as the Akuma faded the large cat growled and bared its teeth in a snarl as it turned and returned to the small girls side, pacing and agitated its fur stood on end until the trembling girl pressed into its side and even then it remained on edge until the girls father got to her, man and beast stared at each other a long moment before toxic green eyes calmed and the beast vanished into flames and light and the man felt his heart constrict because.
because that was not his daughters innocence.