I don't own Inspector Queen and I don't own his son. I can but dream...
Ellery carefully put his feet down on the thick carpet covering most of his bedroom floor, intent on not making any sounds that could wake his father up. Because Inspector Queen would inevitably worry if he found his son up at three in the morning and that would lead to a lot of questions that Ellery really wasn't up to answering. Wearing nothing but his pyjama pants he slowly made his way to his office where he curled up in the chair, staring hardly at the typewriter. He was convinced he hadn't had a proper night's sleep in over a week and it was beginning to show. If he managed to fall asleep he would wake up later in the night, unable to fall asleep again. Sighing he lit a cigarette and began to take deep drafts.
"What on earth are you doing up?"
Ellery jumped, startled, and nearly strained his neck from looking up to quickly. His father stood in the doorway, dressed in a bathrobe and very sleepy looking.
"Oh… Nothing, really", Eller replied, with some luck his father would be satisfied with that answer and go back to bed. "What are you doing up?"
"I heard you sneaking around", the Inspector said and gave Ellery a somewhat annoyed look.
"Sorry. I tried to be quiet", Ellery smiled sheepishly.
"I'm a cop, son."
They went silent. Ellery returned to silently watching the typewriter and Inspector Queen quickly took in his son's appearance. He had bags under his eyes and looked thin and worn. There wasn't a chance he could go back to bed now, knowing his son was up; probably unable to sleep.
"You want some tea, son?" he asked trying to keep the sleepiness out of his voice. Ellery looked up and attempted a smile, ending up more like a grimace.
"No, dad, I'm fine. You should go back to bed, you know", he informed his father.
"I wouldn't get any sleep anyways, knowing you were up sneaking 'round."
"I'm sorry", Ellery automatically replied.
"Tell you what, El", the Inspector began with a smug smile forming on his face, "you humour me drinking a cup of tea and I'll forgive you." Ellery just sighed.
"Whatever, dad."
Now smiling triumphantly Inspector Queen went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Ellery silently followed and watched as his father moved around in the small room, taking out tea, biscuits, cups, butter and jam.
"Dad, you won't need biscuits to make tea", Ellery said, eyeing the old man suspiciously. The Inspector ignored him and began to set the objects out on the table.
"Sit down", he ordered and grabbed Ellery's shoulder to push him down into a chair. Ellery apathetically complied. The older Queen then positioned himself in front of his son.
"Now tell me what's eating you", he said and gave his son a stern look.
"Nothing dad. I just couldn't sleep, that's all", Ellery replied, an innocent look on his face.
"I'm not just talking 'bout tonight. You've been out of sorts for weeks."
Ellery opened his mouth to protest but the Inspector continued before he had a chance to get a word out.
"It'd better be the truth coming out of you mouth and nothing else, son", he threatened.
"All right, all right. I guess I've been feeling kind of down the last week or so. That's all", Ellery said, trying to sound earnest. His father, of course, wasn't fooled.
"It's more than that, Ellery. I've seen you blue before and this ain't it"
Suddenly, Ellery appeared to find the floor most interesting. He didn't answer his father, just stared hard at his feet. The Inspector was really starting to loose his patience, how was he supposed to help his son when he wouldn't say what was wrong?
"Ellery…" he growled warningly.
His son looked up at him but still didn't speak. The younger man's face was lined due to lack of sleep and pain. After a moment of silence he raised his eyebrows, clearly annoyed.
"What?" he snapped, "I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong with me! Get it?"
Inspector Queen was not impressed by Ellery's sudden show of attitude and swiftly grabbed his son's ear and twisted it. Ellery tried to pull away but his ear was in a firm grip.
"Let go, dad!" he whined and squirmed, still attempting to free his hurting ear.
"If you promise to tell me what's wrong", the Inspector said.
"I promise! I'll tell you!"
Inspector Queen released his son's ear and stroked Ellery's hair comfortingly. Just then the kettle started whistling. The Inspector quickly moved to it and began making tea, humming absentmindedly.
Ellery curled up in his chair and began rubbing his stinging ear. He loved his father but he sometimes got a bit too… fatherly. He was an adult and should be able to chose himself if he wanted to share his concerns with his father. The Inspector, unfortunately, didn't agree. Soon Ellery had a cup of steaming tea put in front of him and he silently began sipping the scalding liquid.
"Well..?" his father prompted after a while. Ellery took a deep breath and put the cup down.
"You remember the case with Hutton?" he began.
"Sure, it was, what?, two weeks ago?"
"Yeah, it was. Well, right before you arrived to arrest Hutton he said something to me."
The Inspector nodded and waited for Ellery to continue. He didn't, instead he started sipping his tea again with eyes averted from his father. Inspector Queen sighed; when it came to deductions and personal worries his son was like an oyster.
"What'd he say?" he asked.
"He said", Ellery started, eyes downcast, "that I was…" he gulped, "that I was a failure and thatifIhadn'tbeensoslowyou'dhavearrestedhimalotsoonerandbentleyandjacobswouldn'thavedied."
"Take that again, slower", the Inspector ordered, uncomprehending.
Ellery gave his father a long look.
"Do I have to?" he asked.
"Yes, son. I'm sorry, but I didn't understand any of what you said."
"He said I that if I hadn't been so slow he'd have been arrested a lot sooner and Bentley and Jacobs wouldn't have died."
"And you believed him?" the Inspector asked and fixed his son with a hard glare.
"No! Well, I guess, it had me wondering."
"'Bout what?"
Ellery looked down, his whole figure slumped.
"If he was right", he whispered hoarsely.
"Ellery…" the Inspector patiently began.
"No!" Ellery angrily interrupted, "don't start, dad. Don't tell me how much you love and that everyone makes mistakes! I'm not supposed to make mistakes! Not mistakes that cost people their lives!"
Inspector Queen narrowed his eyes at the fuming figure of his son.
"Ellery…" he said again.
"No dad! I don't want to hear it! I screwed up, dad. We both know I did."
"Ellery!" the Inspector nearly shouted and stood up to grab his sons shoulders.
"There's no point in trying to convince me otherwise 'cause I won't listen! I'm not your little boy who's gonna believe everything's all right just 'cause you say so!"
The Inspector now lost his already hardly tried patience. He covered Ellery's mouth with his hand and gave him a long glare. Ellery was too surprised to do anything but look back at his father with ill concealed confusion.
"Settle down, El", the old man admonished. Ellery tried to speak but found that the Inspector's hand effectively prevented talking.
"Do you promise to be quiet if I remove my hand?"
Ellery nodded frantically as an answer. Inspector Queen removed his hand and when Ellery opened his mouth to speak silenced him with a look.
"Now tell me what that was all about?" he said, and at Ellery's innocent expression continued, "And you know very well what I'm talking about."
"It's just…" Ellery said, "you always comfort me and tell me you love me and I…" he trailed off.
"You don't believe me", the Inspector filled in. Ellery grimaced, that what pretty much what he'd meant but it sounded so crude. Inspector Queen sighed, this was going to take a while.
"Son, listen to me. If it hadn't been for you, Hutton would probably still be free. He, not you, is responsible for the deaths of Bentley and Jacobs. No-one expects you to never make mistakes."
Ellery simply sighed and looked down at his feet. Didn't his father understand that that was exactly what he was talking about? Empty reassurances without meaning.
"That's what you always say, dad", he complained.
"Did it occur to you, dear son, that it might be because it's the truth?" the Inspector teased, with an undertone of seriousness. Ellery snorted dismissively as an answer.
"Ellery, I'm serious. Do you think I'm to blame for the deaths?"
"No!" Ellery said, "of course not, dad."
"Then how come you're blaming yourself?"
Ellery sighed and gave his father a tired look. Why didn't he understand? It was different for Ellery, he was supposed to be the flawless never-failing detective. He came in and claimed to be able to solve all mysteries and then screwed up. A screw-up which resulted in two deaths.
"I'm waiting", Inspector Queen interrupted his brooding.
"It's hard to explain", Ellery defended himself.
"Well, try!"
"You know how people expect me to be so perfect all the time?" he slowly began, "well, it's just when I make mistakes it seems a lot worse then when others do. Because…" he trailed off, leaving the two men in a loaded silence. Ellery seemed unable to formulate his thoughts in a remotely comprehendible way, so he simply continued glaring at the floor.
"Because you too expect yourself to be perfect all the time", the Inspector finished for him.
Ellery shrugged. He wasn't sure that was it but his father seemed convinced. He continued subjecting the floor to his angry gaze, refusing to meet his father's eyes. Inspector Queen sighed at the younger man's obvious unwillingness to prolong the discussion. Not that it really mattered, since the Inspector was quite able to continue without his son's approval.
"Would you blame any your friends for not getting who the killer was sooner?"
He was answered by a shake of the head.
"Would you say they were responsible for the deaths of Jacobs and Bentley?"
Once again a shake of the head.
"Would you think it was fair if I gave you a spanking for not solving it sooner?"
A non-committal shrug, but with a glint of worry
"If I punished Velie or someone else involved in the case for not solving it sooner?"
Frantic shake of the head.
"You don't really need to be a detective to get what the problem is, then. You have to be perfect and ain't allowed to make mistakes. Everyone else can be excused for the same faults", the Inspector said with the air of someone presenting the results of some experiment. Ellery laughed mirthlessly.
"I suppose", he said, "but I don't see how that solves anything."
"Well, now I can tell you what a dupe you are!"
"Sorry?" Ellery said in disbelief.
"Son, you're human", the Inspector patiently began explaining, "that means you make mistakes and you've got flaws."
"I know", Ellery sighed, "but it's hard to, you know, accept it."
Inspector Queen nodded understandingly. The were silent for a while.
"Feel better now?" the Inspector finally broke the silence.
"Yeah…" Ellery admitted, "a little, I suppose."
"Finish your tea then, and we can both get back to bed."
Ellery grimaced. He didn't think he'd be able to fall asleep, even if he did feel better than before talking to his father.
"Son, you need to sleep, you know. You're starting to look like one of'em living dead."
This brought a smile to Ellery's lips for the first time in a long time.
"I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep", he said and gave his father a somewhat guilty look.
"I'll stay with you 'till you do, then", the Inspector stated.
To tired to argue Ellery simply shrugged and allowed his father to lead him to bed. There he crept up between the sheets and Inspector Queen tucked him in, out of old habit. Ellery grinned tiredly at the old man.
"You stopped doing that fifteen years ago, remember?"
The Inspector smiled back and ruffled his sons dark hair.
"As long as you're my son I've got the right to tuck you in at night."
"Even when I'm married, got four children and am turning bald?"
"Yes, son. Even then. Now shush and go to sleep."
Ellery obeyed, for a little while at least.
"Dad?"
"Yes, son?" the Inspector patiently inquired.
"Would you really… I mean… you wouldn't actually spank me for makin' mistakes on a case, would you?" Ellery asked, trying to sound casual but not succeeding in keeping the worry from his voice.
"No, I wouldn't. Not for genuine mistakes; but for carelessness or disobedience you'll find yourself over my knee in the blink of an eye", the elderly man fixed a stern gaze at his son which caused Ellery to squirm a little. Ending up getting spanked by his father was something he usually tried to avoid at all costs, and such a clear warning made him rather conscious of everything he'd done lately that might displease his father.
"Now try to sleep", the Inspector ordered and began stroking Ellery's hair soothingly. Ellery obeyed and with the hand softly caressing his curls and his father's soft humming he was soon sleeping peacefully.
Even with his son asleep Inspector Queen didn't want to move. He listened to Ellery's slow breath and watched as his thin chest moved in pace. The young man lying in front of him was definitely, the Inspector decided, the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Now, please review story. Feedback means a lot to me. And no, I can't seem to find non-cliché fitting endings. I