Chapter One: What Similarities They Have
I'm writing yet another cartoon fanfic. IDK why, I'm just bored as hell right now. I'm just glad Beavis and Butthead came back on the air. Please R&R ^.^
Disclaimer: Beavis and Butthead belong to Mike Judge
It was another day in Highland, Texas. A simple suburb in the town holds a beat up gray house. Inside houses two teenagers, stupid teenagers to be exact. They were sitting on an old couch in a position that seems like it's been in that position for about 18 years. On the left was a brown haired teenager named Butthead. He had braces, a gray AC/DC T-shirt, and red shorts. On the right was a blonde haired teenager named Beavis. He had a severe under-bite, a blue Metallica T-shirt, and gray shorts.
The two just watched TV and made their usual comments. "Ya know Butthead, why is it that they have re-runs of Jackass but none of Viva la Bam? Hm Hm heh!" said Beavis.
"Eh, I don't know Beavis. Huh huh huh. Probably 'cuz one of the guys died on there. And, you know, they wanted to show their respects or something," replied Butthead.
"Hm Hmph, oh yeah. Was that the guy that got raped by that toy car?"
"I don't know, butt munch. It's probably Pontius. Serves him right for waving his schlong around. Uh huh huh huh uh."
Outside, two other teenagers in black hoodies were spray painting the front of the house. "Are sure we should be doing this?" One of them asked.
"Damn right we should Sarah!" said the other one. "They deserve revenge after bad mouthing our beliefs."
"Saying Green Day and Megadeth aren't all that great isn't exactly a racial slur." Sarah crossed her arms.
The other girl grabbed her by the arms and shook her. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? They disrespected us! Don't go all Beavis on me! GOT IT?"
She let Sarah go. "Y-y-yeah. I get it Jenny." The two girls finished spray painting the house when the two boys walked outside.
"WHAT THE HELL? GET OFF OUR PROPERTY! Hmm Hm Hmph Heh!" yelled Beavis. He shook his fist while he tried to chase the hooded ones. They ran off when Butthead threw cans at them. "Eh, yeah you damn kids! Uh huh huh. Get out of our lawn before we call the cops."
The girls ran off with the bag of cans of spray paint they had. Beavis and Butthead looked at the front of the house that was spray painted. "You know Beavis, it's actually kinda good. Even though there's a bunch of naked men painted on our house."
"You're right. But what does that writing say? 'N-nudist Gay B-br-oth-el.' Hmph hm."
Butthead walked closer to the new art. "Huh huh. I don't know. Those butt wipes were probably trying to say that we're queer." Beavis looked at a painted corner by the window. In blue writing it read 'Megadeth lives on and Green Day is immortal=BOTH ROCK! Take that Communist Dutchland!'
"Hm heh! This sounds familiar Butthead."
"Just shut up and quit being a dumbass. They were just two pricks jealous of our awesomeness and that's that. Uh huh huh huh. Huh huh huh." He starts flexing his arm muscles. Beavis follows the idea and does lunges.
In the distance, a black SUV filled with nude homosexual men drove down the road. One of them spotted the spray painted house thinking it was their Brothel. "Look, it is like, our new home!"
They all applauded and hugged each other. "I see the two brothel leaders are outside waiting for our presence."
The SUV drove up to the driveway and all the men got out and stretched. Butthead turned around from arguing with Beavis and went wide-eyed. "Woah! Check it out Beavis. Uh huh huh. There's like, a bunch of faggots doing those aero-bobics or whatever."
"Hm, what?" Beavis looked over and got blinded by the raunchy appearance from the brothel men's birthday suits. He fell on the grass and rolled around covering his eyes. "AAAUUUUUUUUUGH! IT BURNS BUTTHEAD, MAKE THEM STOP! Hmm hmph."
Butthead looked down at his friend. "Eh, whatever. If it'll make you stop acting like a wussy," he said in his lispy voice.
He walked over to the stark naked men. "Uhhh, could you dudes like, but some clothes on and beat it? You're like, scaring the neighbors. Uh huh huh uh. Huh heh."
The supposed leader of the group stepped forward. "Yes, we should beat it. BROTHERS!" On that command they all started running into the house. Two of them grabbed the adolescent duo and ran inside with them with the door closing and locking.
"BUTTHEAD! I DON'T WANNA SCORE LIKE THIS! Hmm hmp."
"JUST KEEP YOUR WHITE DRAGON CONCEALED!"
Down the street were two teenage girls laughing their butts off while sitting on the grass. "HA,HAHAHAHA! I-I-I think that that was the b-best REVENGE EVAH! HAHAHA!"
"YOU'RE RIGHT! I can't think of a better way to spend our Sundays. Just think Sarah, tomorrow at school, Bitchface and Shaftless will come in with their rectums completely torn up. They'll be so traumatized, they're have to move into an asylum! MWUAHAHAHA!" Jenny gave off a grimacing smile, which revealed her braces. "Heheheh. Just thinking of that makes me happy!" She pushed her brunette bangs off her face.
Sarah got curious. "Hmm, but don't ya think that's too devious? I mean, I know what we did is right. But I have doubts."
Jenny pushed her friend. "Ah, shut up. Don't make me set your teeth any more crooked than they are. Heh, I said 'rectum' earlier."
"Your such a pervert."
"I know right?"
Highland High School, Van Driessen's classroom
Mr. Van Driessen walked into the classroom on time as usual. Everyone else was seated except for the two empty seats in the back. "Good morning my students, how is everyone?" The class was silent. A blonde girl in her desk fell onto the floor from sleeping. She woke up when she hit her head. "I'M UP! I GOT MY PANTS ON!"
Jenny pinched her eyebrows. "Dammit Sarah, way to be a dumb butt again, but oh well. You're still my friend."
Mr. Van Driessen took out a roll call on a clipboard. "M'kay, we're gonna roll now." He called out the first few names then he went to the B's.
"Beavis?"
No answer.
"Beavis? Are you asleep again?"
No answer.
"Is Beavis here?"
Sarah and a few other students looked behind them—two empty seats were all that was there. Jenny was too busy snickering while doodling in her Biology notebook.
"Well, if Beavis isn't he—"
"—Hold your fire Van Driessen, we're here. Huh huh huh," Butthead said when he and his blonde friend walked inside and sat down in their desks.
Both of their eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. Butthead had a few bruises and Beavis's hair was all messed up, plus a line of blood dripping down from his arm. They acted as though there wasn't any pain and they just chuckled and grunted like they normally did.
Van Driessen continued with the roll call. "Kimberly,"
"Here."
"Jackson,"
"YO!"
"Jenny,"
"Present." She didn't even look up from her notebook.
"Lee….."
Butthead looked over to Beavis. "Hey, buttwipe. I think I know who did that to our house yesterday, huh huh."
"Hmp, really? 'Cuz I wanna keep revenge on those two who did that our house. Which made those gay guys beat the crap out of us, throw us in an old closet, then they had gay sex and SPANKED THEIR MONKEYS ON EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE! HMPH HMPH HEH!"
"Shut up Beavis!" Butthead punched him in the shoulder. "Uh huh, butt wipe, uh huh huh huh. Now look, it took the best of my knowledge, and you know it hurts to think. But the pricks that sprayed our house had to have been wearing Megadeth and Green Day shirts."
"Hmmm…. oh yeah! That makes more sense. Hold on, I got an itch." Beavis threw an eraser at the back of the blonde girl sitting in front of him. "Hey, ya got a pencil? Hmp hmph. My nose itches…."
The blonde girl wearing a white shirt with short green sleeves turned around. The front of her shirt had the name 'Green Day' on it in block letters. "Tch, yeah. But you can't have…. it." Sarah realized it was Beavis sitting behind her and she started giggling when she remembered the event from 24 hours ago. "Pfft ft ffft…. c-can't you u-u-use your finger?...HAHAHAHA!" Sarah threw her head down laughing and banged her fist on the desk.
"You know, that wasn't a really good joke, hmp. I don't understand Green Day either," said Beavis.
Mr. Van Driessen turned around from the blackboard teaching. "Um, is there a problem Miss Sarah?" He asked in his soft, hippy voice.
Sarah was too preoccupied from laughing so much Jenny (who sat to the right of Sarah) had to say something to keep her friend from getting sent to McVicker's office. She raised her hand to speak.
"Yes Jenny?"
"It's 'cuz some people are trying to make sexual advances toward us females again," Jenny said jokingly.
"I've reminded you and the rest of the class. Beavis and Butthead just need to be ignored, if they are then they will learn to behave better and prosper into the young gentlemen they will become."
"*sighs* Whatever you say Van D."
The boys in the back of the class enjoyed their little show. Both Beavis and Butthead were wide-eyed and had huge grins plastered on their faces.
"Eh, did you see what I saw Beavis? Huh Huh, I got to see boob, well, side boob. Uh huh huh huh."
"Hmm, really?"
"Uh, yeah. When that Jenny girl raised her hand, I saw the inside her sleeve, and I like, saw part of her chest. Also, she said 'sexual'. Huh huh huh." Butthead almost got a stiffy replaying the image in his head. Yet it was hard for him to picture her without her grayish-blackish shirt on. "But dammit, I could've seen more if that word 'eth' wasn't on her shirt."
Beavis was happy enough with his little show. "Hmph, you didn't see what I got. Hm hm hmph! When the Sarah chick was laughing her butt off about something, I got to see her boobs shaking. That's a lot better than what you got, dill weed. Hm hmp!" Beavis shook his fists at the thought. "BOIOIOIOIOIOIOING!"
"Uhhh, oh yeah. That does seem better, huh huh. You wanna make 'em flash us?" Butthead asked.
"Eh, sounds cool."
Beavis threw another eraser at Sarah and Butthead popped Jenny's bra strap. Both girls turned around angrily. "WHAT?" They both yelled.
"Eh, hey babes. Heh heh heh," Butthead tried his usual suave term.
"Hi," Beavis simply said.
"So, uh, we were like wondering if you could…. expose your mammary flesh to the both of us? Eh heh heh heh."
*SMACK-SMACK* Sarah slapped both the boys across their faces. "How, DARE YOU ASK US THAT!"
"YEAH! AFTER WE THOUGHT YOU GOT ENOUGH REVENGE!" yelled Jenny.
As Beavis and Butthead were both rubbing their faces, they actually tried to look at the girls again. But instead, they read what was on their shirts. On Jenny's it had 'Megadeth' in somewhat shiny yellow letters, and on Sarah's it had 'Green Day' in crumbing letters with the 'R' X-ed out.'
In the boys' minds, two matchboxes were being struck trying to light a fire. Two minutes later the last of the matches were finally lit which meant that they realized something. "YOU'RE THE PRICKS THAT DESTROYED OUR HOUSE WITH SPRAY PAINT AND SEMEN!" Beavis yelled.
"Spray paint yes, semen...that's your problem." Jenny winked and stuck her hand out like it was a gun. "But damn straight."
"Eh, you know your friend didn't have to slap us. Huh huh," said Butthead.
"You know you and your friend don't have to act like annoying fart knockers all the time!"
Butthead raised an eyebrow. "Touché. You know, it kicks ass that you two are into actual music."
Sarah frowned. "If you're trying to sweet talk us, it ain't working." She turned back around and went back to sleep, but Jenny still talked with them. "Look, I don't know what the hell you dorks want with us, but lay off, or you're gonna regret it."
Beavis snickered. "Lay off of what exactly? Mhhm hmph hmp!"
"UUUGHH!" She facepalmed. Jenny didn't turn back around because she was frustrated of how much more those guys had their minds below the waist then she did. Then again guys were guys.
Butthead turned to his blonde sidekick. "Hey dillweed. At least I know how to talk to chicks. If anything, I'm gonna score with both girls than you can with one of them passed out and dead. Uh huh huh huh heh."
Jenny lifted up her head. Clearly she was pissed off right now. She slapped both Butthead and Beavis across the face just as her best friend did it earlier, but with her left hand, since Jenny is left-handed. "HMPH!"
She turned back around to listen to more of Van Driessen's speech on DNA. "You can clearly see the double helix shape in the DNA and…."
The idiot boys rubbed the left sides of their faces now. "You know Butthead, when I dream of women putting their hands on me, I didn't have this in mind."
"Don't worry, Beavis. A woman's hand is still a woman's hand. That's counts as touching for me, huh huh huh. Somehow we're gonna get chicks, even if it means pain. Plus we're also gonna get our revenge on their revenge."
"So, it'll re-revenge, or just venge?"
"Uh, I'm not sure. Uh huh, probably 'rahvenge. That sounds more kickass."
"Mmh hmp hmph! You make a point there Butthead."
The two kept chuckling in their annoying ways while everyone else was asleep or trying hard to pay attention to Van Driessen's drabble about Deoxyribonucleic Acid.
I have some confidence in this fanfic. I'm not gonna be writing for a while 'till after Christmas break XP I'm really glad that B&B came back on, even though I haven't seen it since I was like, one and a half.
Jenny and Sarah belong to me, the rest belong to the Easter Bunny! I still want reviews! FYI on Regular Teen (My other story) re-read the whole story, I've revised it :3.
Another thing, I stayed up 'til MIDNIGHT TYPING THIS UP! SO YOU PRICKS BETTER BE HAPPY! D^:
Anyway, I'm IceCat19 & I'm wishing you all a Merry Christmas! AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR IN YOUR BUNGHOLE!