Disclaimer: this is inspired by the song, 'Everything I'm Not' by The Veronicas (which I don't own) and even though I hate Martha/Doctor fics with a passion this song fits Martha's situation really well. Plus I don't count as a true Martha/Doctor fic because it does not show as the Doctor feeling anything romantic towards Martha at all! Also I don't own Doctor Who!
Everything I'm Not
I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not
As Martha walked out the TARDIS she shook herself and started walking towards her house. But, then she stopped. She had to give him an explanation for leaving because not doing that would be cowardly and after the Year that Never Was, Martha Jones was not a coward.
With that thought in her head she turned round and marched back into the TARDIS explaining about her friend Vicky before she lost her nerve. The Doctor looked very perplexed for a moment but after his question he settled back to listen. And Martha saw the instant that he realised why she was telling the story. He looked down guiltily; away from the love that Martha was sure was showing in her eyes.
Back on her first trip, Martha saw how, when the Doctor looked at her, he didn't see her, he just saw a person. From then on Martha realised that she could be anybody and the Doctor wouldn't care, because all he wanted was a friend. And when she found out why the Doctor didn't see her and why he sometimes stared off into space with his eyes swirling with some painful emotion, she was horribly jealous.
At first she thought this 'Rose' had left on her own and the Doctor just didn't want to accept it. And she hated her for it because she had the Doctor's love and just gave it up. But when she found out about the Battle of Canary Wharf and how Rose had been sucked into a parallel world, she almost laughed. Not in glee of course but the fact that the Doctor and Rose's story was more tragic than Romeo and Juliet, for they would continue to live but separate from each other as long as they lived. It kept them in hope, because the other was not dead, but it also kept them in pain.
Back in the present Martha was 'getting out' as she told the Doctor. She left the TARDIS, for the last time in hopefully a while, and started preparing mentally for the life that lay ahead of her.
Now wait a minute
Because of you
I never knew all the things that I had
Hey don't u get it
I'm not going anywhere with you tonight
Cause this is my life
But even through the pain from loving the Doctor but realising that he would never love her back because she wasn't Rose, she didn't regret it. Not for a second. She saw marvellous things and she grown as a person, now able to see the bigger picture and how precious life was.
Also her family had grown up as well. After the Year that Never Was her mother and father had started resolving their differences and her family was becoming stronger. That year had been awful and it had made her feel hate for the Master that she had never felt before, but now she, and the rest of the family, knew what they could go through and still remain a family.
They didn't try to explain to Leo because where would they start? But Leo understood that something had changed them all, for the better and for the worst, but he also understood not to question it.
But still Martha silently thanked the Doctor for the change to her family, herself and the world and only hoped that somehow Rose could achieve the impossible and come back to him.
I would like to thank whoever it was, who said that song fics shouldn't rely totally on the song, so if you removed the song, the story would still make sense because to me that was clever advice so thanks! First ever Doctor Who fic so please review and tell me how I did!