His Touch, My Loss Chapter 1, a maximum ride fanfic

Fang's POV

That was the fourth one today. I needed to stop this, I knew. It hurt me and the one I loved most, Iggy. When he found out he cried for days and didn't talk to anyone. I don't know why I cut myself, but I did. Before I needed a reason for it, but now it was almost a habit.

"Fang, you know that I love you and I would never want anything to happen to you. If you died, I wouldn't make it," was what Iggy had told me the day he found out.

Max never spoke to me much after I came out; Iggy was the only one who completely understood me. He was gay too. Gazzy didn't understand why Iggy and I were the way we were. Angel had a hard time understanding too, but Nudge and Max knew and understood. Max and Nudge kept their distances from us. Especially when Iggy and I were holding hands or cuddling.

But we learned to stop caring about what other people thought.

Just as I put the razor away, Iggy walked into my room. He came to sit next to me on my bed, and as he did he brushed my arm. I turned toward him and lightly placed my lips on his. Even though it wasn't an intense kiss, I still felt the sparks fly as our lips met. As we kissed, his left hand caressed my cheek and his right hand was on my chest.

"Well hello to you too," he said when we broke apart.

I loved him. Iggy was amazingly understanding and patient, gorgeous and well, just, I'm not sure how to explain the last one; it's something that you just have to experience before you understand. He brushed a couple strands of strawberry blond hair away from his face. His fingers were so delicate, so fragile, but strong and sturdy.

For a while we sat in silence; just being with each other was all we wanted. Iggy turned to me and his unseeing ice blue eyes looked sincere.

"Why'd you do it again Fang?"

Goose bumps rose on my skin as his fingers traced the newly forming scars. Iggy's touch was amazing compared with anything in this world. I watched the trail of goose bumps diminish when his fingers left my arm. He looked disappointed, and like he might cry. I knew I had promised him something that I couldn't give. Sometimes my razor was all that could comfort me. I didn't have that excuse today though. Today I just felt like it.

"Iggy, I don't know. I know that it's my worst habit and I know that I should stop. And hurting you is the last thing I want to do. But if I'm going to stop cutting, I'll need all the support I can get from you. Iggy, you're the only person who matters to me. You are all I care about."

He smiled then. Before either of us knew it, he was straddling me on top and we were making out. His tongue explored my mouth and mine explored his. Iggy's hands made their way down my body and he lightly touched my, uh, soldier down there. We both blushed when he did.

"Well, I uh, have to get started on dinner. See ya later, 'kay Fang?" and with that he walked hurriedly out of my room.

Iggy's POV

Fang was at it again. I heard him tuck away that razor as I entered his room. The smell of blood was unmistakable with Fang. I wanted so much to be the only comfort for Fang's pain and suffering. He was just so closed up sometimes.

I sat next to him on his bed, and brushed against his arm, looking for a change in pulse. Whatever wrist he'd cut would have a slightly faster pulse than usual. It wasn't this arm, so it must be his left. Before I could reach my hand over, he was kissing me. It was a beautiful feeling. The sparks flew. Sooner or later I wanted to loose my virginity to him. But not now; now would be too soon.

"Well hello to you too," I said, a smirk playing at my lips.

Fang was my other half. What he felt was what I felt. This is why it killed me when he mutilated himself. I felt hair falling in my face, and with one swift movement, brushed it out of my face. I'd have to cut it soon; it got annoying when it was too long. While I thought of what I'd make for dinner tonight, I barely realized that a calming quiet fell over us.

I turned to face Fang. I was gonna ask him.

"Why'd you do it again Fang?"

I felt him shudder when I traced each and every scar he'd made on that left wrist of his. Each new scar I came to sent a feeling of dejection and dismality. At the same time I wanted to bury my face in his chest and cry. This was something that he struggled with, something I had a hard time putting up with. I loved Fang, and I needed him so much. I needed him like vampires needed blood; he was vital to me.

I could give him support. Carefully I sat on him so I was straddling his hips. I leaned down and pressed my lips into his. Both our lips moved in sync, complimenting each other. I let my hands roam over his body, exploring every inch of him. My hands were my eyes. Until I accidentally brushed over his manhood. I felt my cheeks heat up, and Fang's probably were too. Almost instantly, I pulled my hand back and sat up. Carefully I rolled off of him, and got up from the bed.

"Well, I uh, have to get started on dinner. See ya later, 'kay Fang?" that was a pretty bad excuse to rush out of your boyfriend's bedroom, huh?

As I made my way downstairs, I heard that the TV was on. We had cable, even after Jeb left us. But that was only because Angel had manipulated the Verizon Fios guys to give us free cable and Internet. I heard the tapping sound of the keyboard going. Probably Max.

"Max, what do we have in the fridge?" I hated talking to her; ever since Fang and I came out of the closet with our relationship, she'd never really like either of us.

"Not much. Fang hasn't been to town in a couple days, but I told him to go sometime this week. Just make do with what you have," the squeak of the computer chair sounded off again, so she must've turned back around.

I sighed and went to work with whatever toxic waste was left in the fridge. From what I could tell there were a couple tomatoes, a half block of cheese, some hamburger, and a box of macaroni.

You try making a meal for six hungry bird kids with just that.